Is It Lust or Love?

Chapter 3: Countdown

BellaPOV

22 hours until arrival.

They would be home in a few hours. Twenty—two to be exact.

Emmett and I hadn't really discussed what would happen between us when they got home. I assumed Alice already knew. And if Alice knew then Jasper probably knew too. Oh god, Esme and Carlisle are going to think I'm a home wrecker! And Edward, well he cheated first and who knows for how long. Rosalie will probably rip me limp from limp for even thinking about Emmett that way!

Holy crap was I freaking out.

I wasn't even thinking about what I was doing until now. I was living in the freaking moment! The only thing I wanted to do was try to get rid of these feelings I had for Emmett so that maybe one day I could love Edward the way he loved me. Or the way I thought he loved me. Now…I didn't want to stop whatever I had created.

I was hyperventilating in the shower as the water cascaded down my body. The hot water created steam in the bathroom so when I got out the mirrors were all fogged up. I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around myself.

I was getting dress and I couldn't find my bra. Where the hell did I put it? I looked everywhere Emmett's room until I finally got so freaking desperate that I looked underneath the bed. And there it was. I reached for it but I really couldn't touch it yet. I let go of the towel so I had both hands going for my bra. The tip of my nail could reach it. Freaking finally I could get it.

"Finally." I muttered.

When I crawled out from underneath the bed I notice that the towel was completely off of me. I was nude, wet, and clutching my bra.

"Well, there's a view you don't see every day." A voice said from the direction of the door.

There stood a smirking Emmett with his hands crossed leaning lightly on the door. His eyes were black despite the fact that he had only gone hunting less than a week ago.

"I was looking for my bra." I explained quietly.

"Well that was a waste of time." I heard him mutter.

"Why would getting dress be a waste of time?" I asked confused.

In a second I was lying beneath him on the bed. He leaned down to nibble on my ear lobe. I moaned. Emmett always knew where my sweet spot was.

"Because you won't be leaving this bed for a long time." He whispered in my ear.

His cool breath made me shiver in response. But his words saddened me. This would probably be the last time. We wouldn't have time for another round after this. My scent would be all over Emmett's bed and not in Edward's. It would raise suspicion why my scent was all over Emmett's bedroom but nothing of me in Edward's. Tomorrow we would go back to the way things were before. I didn't want that. I never wanted these two weeks to end. I wanted to stay in this bliss we had created forever. Tears sprung into my eyes. Emmett must have smelt them because he stopped nibbling on my lobe.

"What's wrong? Did I bite you too hard? Do you not want to do this anymore? Shit sorry. Sometimes I assume too much of peop—"

"Emmett I'm…you didn't hurt me. Quite the opposite actually. I was just thinking something that probably should have been talked about before or after the first time we… um… did that."

Emmett got off me and sat up against the headboard. I quickly sat up, mirroring his position. I folded my hands in my lap and started to bite my bottom lip.

"So…um…what did you want to talk about?" Emmett whispered to me.

I quickly looked up at him but his eyes were looking anywhere but at me. I glanced back down at my fiddling hands.

"Um…where exactly is this," I waved my hand back and forth between us, "going? Is it just a fling or a hook up or…uh…something more?"

Emmett looked thoughtful for a few seconds and I didn't say anything else. I knew I was acting like a coward not putting my two cents in where I wanted this to go. Only because I didn't want to push Emmett into anything he didn't want to do.

Push him into something he didn't want? Are you serious? If Emmett didn't want to do anything he didn't want he could have easily pushed you away the first time! He could have pushed you away with his pinky if he wanted to.

"I think," Emmett began breaking me out of my thoughts, "that we should continue this," I smiled at him, "but that we should keep it a secret." My smiled was gone just like that.

He doesn't want to be with you. At least not in public, with everyone knowing. You would be his side dish, always behind Rosalie. Second choice.

"Oh." I whispered. I swung my legs over the bed side, "If that's what you want." I muttered.

I had to get out of her before the water works started. I wouldn't let Emmet see me cry just because he didn't want to do out in the open with me. Before I could even stand up to leave Emmett grabbed my wrist.

"Wait," He said softly, "It's not like that."

"Then what's it like." I asked harshly.

I knew I was being unfair to him. I knew once everyone came back everything would go back to normal. That was kind of my plan before I heard Edward on the phone with Rosalie. To try to get over Emmett and attempt to love Edward. But that was before I heard the phone call. That was before I was actually here, with Emmett. Before the feelings I had for Emmett grew.

"It's Edward." He told me.

I looked at him amazed and shocked that he would bring Edward into this conversation.

"What about Edward?" I asked curtly.

"He's…not the same as before. He changed when he left you and the whole family. He became more…sinister and… not Edward. He's different. He's more harsh and rash about things. He doesn't think things through anymore. More possessive and sloppy about things. He's just not…Edward anymore. He may look and talk like the way he used to...but he changed. And this new Edward…I don't think he would hesitate to hurt you or anyone else if they betrayed him." Emmett explained to me.

"But Edward would never hurt me." I said completely positive.

"The old Edward would never hurt you but this Edward…" Emmett shook his head, "Just for now can we keep this a secret? Not forever—trust me I don't think I could keep it bottled up for that long—but just for a little while." He pleaded.

"But what about your thoughts?" I asked Emmett.

He smiled showing me his dimples, "I can always think of other things. It may be hard but I can do it."

"Emmett." I whispered shaking my head. "I don't think this is a very good idea."

"I can do it. Like the time in the fifties when I broke Edward's piano. He still hasn't found out it was me to this day." Emmett said proudly.

"I still think we should tell them but… if you think you can hide your thought's then…I guess we won't be tellin' anyone anytime soon." Then I remembered that one Cullen already knew and another might know. "Alice! I totally forgot she knew." I squeaked in panic.

"Alice would never tell." Emmett promised.

"What if she already told Jasper? You know she can't keep anything from Jasper. We are so busted." I groaned.

My phone started to beep signaling that someone was calling me.

"Will you answer that while I get dress?" I asked Emmett referring to the fact that I was still naked during this whole conversation and I was getting goose bumps everywhere.

Emmett nodded as I slide off the huge bed. I just threw on whatever my hand touched so I was back by Emmett's side in two minutes.

"I know that Alice," Emmett was saying into the phone, "…I'll tell her…okay…I know…goodbye Alice." He said sounding very irritated. Then he turned to me, "She says not to doubt her and that Jasper does know—but," I was about to cut in to tell him that we should just tell everyone then but he continued, "he promised not to tell anyone. And why does it matter if Jasper knows?"

I shook my head, "It's because I don't know Jasper all that well. You do because you've lived with him for over fifty years. I've known him for nearly a year and a half and we've only spoken to each other a handful of times. I just don't know him all that well." I told Emmett.

He sighed, "I understand that but you have to trust us on this. Jasper can be trusted on this."

I held my hands up in surrender, "Fine, you win."

He smiled at me, "Thank you." He whispered and then he kissed me lightly.

But I wouldn't let our kiss end just like that. I stood up onto my tippy toes and wrapped my arms around Emmett's neck.

"You know what this is going to led to, right?" Emmett asked against my lips.

"I was kinda hoping for that." I murmured back.

18 hours until arrival.

I was finishing some last minute homework for school tomorrow and Emmett was attempting to make me food. I tried to tell him that I could make my own dinner but he insisted. And who was I to say no to him? I don't think I had enough will power to say no to Emmett about…well anything.

"Math is the stupidest subject ever." I muttered to myself as I finished my last problem. I probably got that one wrong but I didn't care at the moment.

"What's wrong?" Emmett called from the kitchen.

"Math's hard." I yelled back even though he would have heard me even if I whispered it.

"No it's not. You just think it's hard." He hollered back.

"Whatever."

I heard Emmet laugh in the kitchen. I got up to see what Emmett was trying to cook me or if it was burnt or if he was making something that my mom would cook. When I got to the Cullen kitchen I could smell marinara sauce. There were two pans on the stove. One pan had water boiling on the stove and Emmett was turned toward me, no doubt hearing me coming.

"Go away." He told me.

I was taken back. "What?"

"Go away. It's a surprise." He explained, smiling his dimpled grin.

"Oh. Okay then." I said as I turned around to try to find something else to do.

In the end I started reading a book I had gotten from the library a few days ago. By the time I got to page forty Emmett called me to come eat. I padded over to the kitchen for the second time that night. Emmett was there stirring whatever was in the pan.

"Come here and try this. I don't know if it's done or not." Emmett said with his back to me.

He brought out a wooden spoon with something red and a little thick looking to me.

"You're not trying to feed me blood, right?" I asked him.

He laughed under his breath but said nothing and held out the red wooden spoon towards me more. I hesitantly put my mouth on the spoon and tasted what I had smelt earlier. Marinara sauce. But not just any marinara sauce the best friggin' marinara in the world. The only problem was the fact that it was freaking too hot. So here I was waving my hand in front of my face—which did absolutely nothing—while Emmett just stood there and looked at me like I was crazy.

"Hot." I tried to say around the food.

Next thing I know Emmett's tongue is in my mouth. I made a little squeak in surprise but that quickly turned into a moan. I put my arms around neck as he lifted me up onto the island counter top without breaking our kiss. I quickly swallowed the sauce as it burnt a little down my throat. Emmett's tongue explored my mouth like he never had before—which he totally had before. I wrapped my legs around Emmett's waist bringing the bulge in his pants close to my center. I grinded into him and Emmett pulled away. The only thing you could hear now was me panting like a dog.

"We shouldn't get carried away like that again." Emmett whispered.

"We should," I argued back.

Emmett pecked me on the lips so fast I wasn't completely sure it even happened.

"We shouldn't unless we don't plan on stopping." Emmett explained.

"Who said we were going to stop?"

Emmett smiled at me, "You have to eat, and if we were to do that now when the others got home they would be able to smell the sex in the air."

I sighed and hopped off the counter.

"So does this mean I have to sleep in Edward's room tonight?" I groaned.

"I wish you wouldn't have to, but they would smell you in my room and nothing in his." He explained.

"Fine." I rubbed my hands together, "So what did you make me?"

"Spaghetti." He answered and got me a plate.

16 hours until arrival.

After the dinner that Emmett made me we sat on the couch and watched some football game. I didn't really watch it, just Emmett's reactions. Every once in a while he would give me a kiss or shout something at the TV. I reminded him once that they couldn't hear him but he argued back that it didn't matter; it was all in the name of the game. I giggled when he said that.

I took a quick shower in Edward's bathroom. The whole time I was in there I just kept thinking that this wasn't the right bathroom and that it was wrong to be in here. When it was time for me to go to bed I kept thinking that Emmett was beside me, holding me like he usually does and that we were still in his room. But if Emmett came in here he thinks it would be too risky. So he gave me a goodnight kiss downstairs. And let me tell you it was one good night kiss.

6 hours until arrival.

The sunlight streamed in through the window when I woke up but not too much, I mean, come on, its Forks. You have a sunny day, like, once every three months. I quickly realized that I wasn't in the bed I had grown used to over the past two weeks.

I sighed.

I got dresses as fast as I could. I just wanted out of Edward's room. It made me feel guilty for doing what I had done with Emmett over the past two weeks but not enough for me to regret anything. When I got downstairs Emmett had made me breakfast.

"You didn't have too." I said as I sat on the island chair.

"I thought it was the least I could do seeing how I made you sleep alone." Emmett said as he put a plate of pancakes in front of me.

"If it helps I dreamt of you." I said before taking a bite out of the pancakes.

He raised his eyebrows, "Really?" I nodded. "Was I any good?"

I rolled my eyes. "You were the best."

He smiled and went to cleaning up all the dishes he had from making me breakfast.

"You don't have to do that. You made me breakfast, the least I can do is clean up the dishes." I protested.

"Bella, I want to clean these up." He explained.

I shook my head, "Emmett no one likes to clean. Unless you're Monica from Friends."

"Then for now let's pretend I'm Monica." He chuckled.

"I've been doing it with Monica for the past two weeks? Ew." I muttered under my breath.

I saw Emmett shake his head but he made no snappy comment back. When I finally finished the pancakes I ate I quickly washed it before Emmett could. I know it was childish but I didn't want Emmett to do everything.

I sighed. It was time for me to leave. Emmett walked me to my truck outside. I threw my backpack inside the truck and turned around to say goodbye to Emmett. Granted he always said goodbye to me and gave me a kiss before I left for school but this time was different. This would be the last time he would openly kiss me goodbye in front of his house. Tears prickled in my eyes but I was trying to keep it together. The last thing Emmett needed was to see me cry.

"You realize when I get home, they'll all be back?" I whispered Emmett looking at my shoes.

"Yeah, I know." He whispered.

He leaned down and kissed me. This kiss was different than all the other kisses we had had before. When I usually said goodbye for school I knew it was temporary. I would be coming back, right into Emmett's arms. This kiss was desperate, needy and passionate. This kiss meant goodbye. And I never wanted it to end. Emmett eventually broke away when he realized that I needed air. I could care less if I needed air.

"Hey. It'll be okay. We'll be together soon." He said but it sounded like he was trying to convince me as much as he was trying to convince me.

"But not soon enough." I whispered and my voice broke at the end.

"I promise you, we will be together." He murmured as he kissed my forehead, "You have to go now or you'll be late for school."

I nodded. I kissed Emmett once more and got into my truck. I slowly drove out of the Cullen driveway. The whole time I looked at my rearview mirror to see Emmett standing there watching my truck leave him behind. I choked down my sobs as he faded away from my view.

0 hours until arrival.

All day I was miserable. I just had the urge to drive home and run into Emmett's arms where I was safe. But that couldn't happen now.

I was driving home from school with butterflies in my stomach. They would all be home. They probably have been home for a few hours. What scared me most is that if Edward somehow knew what Emmett and I had been up to the past two weeks. I had to take so many deep breaths on the way home I lost track after fifteen. My palms were slick with sweat on the old steering wheel.

Finally made my way down the Cullen's long driveway to see Alice bouncing up and down next to Jasper; Edward, Rosalie and Emmett stood in front of the door; Carlisle and Esme stood somewhat in-between the two groups. As soon as my foot stepped out of the truck Alice had me in a tight hug.

"I missed you." She whispered.

"Jeez Alice," Emmett yelled, "you leave her for two weeks and you act like you haven't seen her in years. You're acting worse than Eddie here."

I heard Edward growl at Emmett and Rosalie glare at him. I wonder how I never realized how Emmett and Rosalie's relationship was going downhill so fast. They had suppose ably been apart weeks before the South America trip and how had I not noticed it?

"I missed you too." I whispered in Alice's ear.

She smiled as we broke apart and she was next to Jasper's side in a flash. I exchanged a smile with Jasper. Well I couldn't expect more. He was probably thinking about how much of a whore I was right now. Maybe not right now, since Edward was in hearing range but in the back of his mind I bet he was. I exchanged hugs with Carlisle and Esme, a glare from Rosalie and I got to Edward.

He gave me a short kiss—for that I was grateful—and a hug. As he hugged me I could see Emmett from over his shoulder. Right now I wish I was hugging Emmett instead of Edward. But I wasn't. I didn't know how long it would be until I was openly in his arms again. And that brought tears into my eyes.

So they're back. I was going to drag out the two weeks farther but I decided against it.

See you all next update,

ReadingFan13