* All Twilight references and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, all other characters, plot changes, etc are just fun things that I like to play with.
* This story is rated M for mature due to references and possibly descriptive scenes of abuse, rape, and smut.
For a while my body thrashed against the waves as I tossed and turned, trapped in the current. One last wave and my body spiraled backwards out of my control until I felt something hard hit my head.
"Bella? Wake up Bella!" I could hear the husky voice call my name from above me. Gradually I opened my eyes and saw the dark figure that was Jacob in front of me.
"Bella, Thank God! What were you thinking Bella?" Jacob asked as he held my body close to him. I could feel the heat radiating and snuggled in closer to him as my body tried to warm itself up.
"I called Charlie Bella, I'm going to take you home. He's pretty upset Bella… where have you been and why would you jump off of the cliff like that? Did Cullen do this to you? Did that stupid bloodsucker hurt you?" he continued firing questions at me as I froze and attempted to pull out of his arms.
"Don't take me back Jake. Please, don't. I don't want to see Charlie right now... I can't... Please!" I begged Jacob and tears began to form in my eyes. The thought of what Charlie would do and how he would torture me haunted me as I realized what I had failed to do.
"Jacob put me down." My voice was suddenly firmer and he obeyed me with an odd look on his face.
"Thanks for pulling me out of the water Jake, but I've gotta go." I said and took off as fast as I could towards my truck.
"Bella, let me take you home, you shouldn't be driving like this." Jake was suddenly in front of me with his arms out as though to block me from going any further.
"Jacob, please, just let me go... I can't go back... I can't..." I sobbed as I pushed past him and continued back up the path, tripping along the way. It felt like it took hours before I got back to my truck and by the time I did I was frozen solid, my teeth chattering. There was no way that I could return to Charlie now so I stuck my key in the engine and went to the only place I could think of.
I drove as fast as I could up to the Cullen mansion and let myself in, grabbing Edward's letter off the table and racing up the stairs. Immediately I ran into Alice's room and dug through her closet until I found some pajamas that might fit me. I threw the old clothes in a heap in the corner and changed quickly wrapping a fleece blanket around my shoulders and racing back out of the room and down the hall. Carlisle's study was the same as the rest of the house, covered in dust and missing half of the books, but still the same as when they had lived here.
"Bella! Get out here right now." I heard from just outside the window and felt the fear hit me as I heard Charlie's voice call to me – Jacob must have called him and told him where I had gone.
"Bella, I know that you are inside, and you are trespassing. Come out now." his voice sounded calm but I could tell he was boiling inside.
I looked down the row of bookcases and found the book I was looking for. "Vampires A-Z" and gently tugged it downward until the wall opened up and I could see the entrance to the huge walk in wall safe. Quickly I punched the code into the electronic keypad and ran inside, pulling the bookshelf back into place as I entered the darkness.
"Bella? Where are you Bella?" I could hear Charlie calling again and I sank into the corner of the safe, crouching low to the ground and resting my head against the wall.
"I don't think that she's in here Charlie, we've searched the whole house." I recognized another officer, Mark's, voice and realized that they must both be in Carlisle's study right outside the safe.
"Yeah, you're right Mark. I don't think she's here but she was recently, her wet clothes are in the other room there... she must've snuck out the back when we got here. I'd bet money that she's going to come back for more clothes or her truck. I'm gonna sit outside and wait a while to see if she returns." I heard Charlie say and I stifled a groan.
Just what I needed, Charlie waiting for me to come out of hiding.
"Charlie? Dr. Cullen and his wife are downstairs. They've just come back to pick up a few things and are extremely unhappy that there are police officers inside their house." I heard another unfamiliar voice and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Damn..." I heard Charlie say and then there was nothing, only silence.
As I waited, hoping that both the Cullens and Charlie would eventually leave I laid down against the back wall of the safe and said a silent prayer of thanks that the Cullen's had had the inside of the safe carpeted. Before I knew it I had drifted into a dark and dreamless sleep.
"Bella! Wake up Bella." I jumped as I realized that someone had found me inside my safe place. The
fear nearly crippled me and I couldn't even scream. Gradually the light filtering in through the open door allowed my eyes to adjust and I realized that the person crouched next to me was no enemy.
"Esme!" I exclaimed in surprise, my throat ached from the salt water I had swallowed but I didn't care, I threw my arms around her, not caring about the searing pain in my ribs, thighs, or wrists.
"Bella, come on dear, let's go downstairs and we'll talk." Esme said gently helping me stand up.
"Is... is Charlie... is he here? Please don't send me back to Charlie... I'll leave, but I can't go back to Charlie." the fear again began to cripple me and I pulled back towards the wall. I could see the concern on Esme's face as she watched my horror filled expression.
"It's okay Bella, Charlie's gone. We won't send you back to Charlie. Come on, let's go downstairs." this time it was Carlisle's voice that I heard and I peered around Esme to confirm this. His face was composed but serious and I couldn't help the relief that I felt at his reassuring presence.
"Okay." I sighed and hobbled out of the safe and into the brightness of the office. As I entered into the light I heard both of the vampires suck in their breath before regaining their composure and leading me down to the living room.
Once I was sitting on the sofa with the blanket tucked around me and Carlisle and Esme were sitting on the love seat across from me their curiosity could no longer be contained.
"Tell us everything Bella. Start from the night of your birthday, what happened, who hurt you like this." Carlisle demanded in a gentle tone. Somehow the calmness made Carlisle's anger even more frightening.
"I... I don't know. I was upset that Edward told me that I couldn't see any of you anymore. That night was the start of it. But I figured that if I gave you all a few days then you would be okay, that you would still want me as part of your family. After not seeing anyone for two weeks, I came here. I found Edward's note and saw how the house was empty. I knew that you were gone and weren't coming back. My heart felt as though a giant hole had been punched through it. I drove home and was honestly pretty upset. When I got home Charlie had been drinking and that was the first night he beat me until I passed out. He reported me as a runaway then and I was no longer allowed out of the house. He would beat me pretty much every single day. I couldn't take it any longer." I paused then trying to catch my breath and not really wanting to reveal what I had done.
"I... I left while Charlie was working today. I jumped off of a cliff, right on the treaty line and Jake pulled me out of the water, but he also called Charlie, he tried to convince me to go back but I wouldn't so I got in my truck and drove here. It was the only place I could think of where I could hide." I explained and for the first time since starting noticed the river of tears that was flowing freely down my cheeks.
"Bella, I'm so sorry." I heard Esme say and then felt her cold arms envelop me in an embrace. I winced in pain and she pulled back quickly.
"Bella, Esme is right, we are so very sorry that we left you. You were a part of our family and we never should have left the way that we did. I have so much more that I feel we need to apologize for, but if it's okay I'd like to take a look at your injuries, you're obviously in a lot of pain." Carlisle said and I felt myself sink back against the sofa.
"Bella, I know you are scared of me getting too close, but please allow me to help you. Esme will be there the whole time if it makes you feel better." Carlisle explained gently not moving until I gave him a slight nod and closed my eyes.
"Why did you come back?" I asked no louder than a whisper. I was clutching Esme's hand as Carlisle ghosted over me, checking my ribs, wrists, ankles and legs.
"Alice." Carlisle said and I couldn't help but to be confused and slightly hurt by his answer.
"Alice saw you jump off the cliff, but as the Quieleutes were involved she didn't see you get pulled out. We were devastated and wanted to come and see for ourselves, to try to stop you if we weren't too late." Esme was looking down and the confusion was getting stronger within me.
"But why come back? If I had died then you would get what you all wanted when you left, a life without me complicating things..." I sighed and saw Esme's head snap up.
"Bella, we never wanted that. You are like a daughter to me. We had already been discussing returning to Forks, all of us. We missed you so much, it was physically hurting us all to be away from you as well. And Bella, we can't tell you how sorry we are that we left in the first place." Esme choked out and if she could have cried I thought that she would be.
"But if Alice saw me... why didn't you come sooner?" my voice was small and betrayed all of the hurt that I felt at her not coming or sending someone sooner.
"But she didn't Bella. She couldn't see anything from you at all until her vision of you jumping off the cliff." Esme tried to sooth me and I thought it over for a minute.
"All done Bella." I heard Carlisle say and looked down in surprise to see that my ribs were already wrapped tightly, my left wrist was in a brace and my left knee was also in a brace.
"Three broken ribs, your wrist is fractured in at least two places and your knee has a minor fracture just above it which is where the pain in your thighs is coming from. Of course there are also all of the cuts, bruises and burns..." he seemed to answer the question in my head.
"Bella... I know that you don't trust us and it's going to take a while for us to earn your trust back, but there is no way that we are going to leave you again, not ever. We won't send you back to Charlie, and if you'd like to, we would love it if you would come with us back to Alaska where we've been staying the past little while." Carlisle's soft voice was slow and reassuring and I wanted to say yes more than they knew, but one thought plagued my mind.
"Edward?" I asked and my voice was surprisingly cold.
"Edward isn't with us at the moment." Esme's voice was sad and I regretted the cold tone in my own.
"He chose to go his own way when we left, he doesn't know that we came back for you either." Carlisle explained and I sighed in relief.
"Why would you want me to come with you? I'm just a plain old human who has caused your family nothing but problems since I entered your life." I asked cautiously even though the idea of moving to Alaska with the Cullens was more than appealing.
"Bella. I know you doubt us, but you were never a plain old problem causing human. From the first day that Edward brought you home, you have been a part of our family, our daughter. Our family grew to include you and you are more important to each of us than you realize, we want you to come because we love you Bella." Carlisle explained and he looked tired and hurt as he spoke the words.
"Will you come with us Bella?" Esme asked and I could no longer control the smile on my face as I nodded my reply.
"I think that we should leave tonight then." Carlisle spoke again.
"Charlie is planning on coming back and you need to be far away from here when he does." he explained and suddenly I wanted to leave right away.
"I'm ready to leave, but I need one thing from Charlie's house." I said in a whisper and saw the confusion on their faces.
"Don't worry about taking anything with you Bella, we'll get you whatever you need, we just need to get out of here." Esme tried to soothe me.
"No Esme, this is not something that can be replaced. It's something from my past that I will explain to you at some point, but I need it. Please, can someone get it for me?" I pleaded and was terrified that they would say no, that I would lose the small piece of Shiloh that I had left.
"Alright Bella, what is it and where is it? I'll go get it and Esme will begin driving North with you. I'll meet you about 20 miles North of Forks." Carlisle answered and I felt relief flood through me.
"It's an old shoe box. The contents are very important to me. I hid it under a loose floor board inside my closet, I think it's the third board in after you open the door." I explained and thanked them.
Soon Esme and I were in the black Mercedes heading North while we waited for Carlisle to catch up. It seemed like it only took minutes before Esme pulled the car over and her and Carlisle switched places before I could blink, Esme climbing in the backseat with me while Carlisle continued driving.
"Here's the box." Carlisle smiled and passed it back to me. I grabbed it and clutched it to my chest crying in relief.
"So are you going to explain about what's in the box? What part of your past is this important to you?" Carlisle asked so quietly that I barely heard him.
I took a deep breath and slowly undid the elastic bands, pulling the lid open. Esme watched me curiously as I sifted underneath the papers towards the item I was seeking. I pulled out the small plastic bracelet and handed it to Esme, it took only a second for her to read the writing on the bracelet.
Child: Shiloh Renee Swan. Mother: Isabella Marie Swan. DOB: 09/13/2004
"Bella... you had a child?" Esme gasped in surprise and I bowed my head in shame.