CHAPTER THREE

Endless minutes full of Remus's screaming passed. Meanwhile, Ron went to the other bathroom, came over to George, asked him what he owed him, and was waved away as Fred and George deliberated about how dead they would be when Remus left the bathroom.

Seemingly eons later, Remus emerged.

He was blue.

He was covered with chicken feathers.

There was an unearthly sqwak and the sound of approximately thirty two chickens and one chick flying out the window.

"Hi, Remus!" said Fred cheerfully.

"You look very skinny today," added George.

The blue, feathery Remus carefully turned his eyes on the twins.

They paled slightly.

"What," whispered Remus in a deadly voice.

"Was."

"THAT."
"Um," whispered George, "practicing our spell work?"

Remus turned on his heel with as much dignity as a blue, chicken feathered man can

have, and walked wordlessly down the hall. It was only when he reached the end of it, blue footprints trailing behind him on the tattered red carpet; he turned and positively screamed,

"OH THIS IS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR."

"It was meant for Ron!" called George in a feeble voice, but Remus didn't seem to hear him as he Dramatically stormed away.

"He's not very good at Dramatically storming away," observed Fred incongruously.

A roar came over the wall. "I AM TOO!"

Remus pushed open the door without even knocking, blue leaving a mark on the door knob. He found Sirius sitting at his desk with a book opened in front of him.

"Why are you reading, Sirius Black?" hissed Remus lethally. "WHY ARE YOU READING WHEN I AM SUFFERING GRIEF?"

"Actually," said Sirius pleasantly, laying his book down, "I'm pretending to read whilst listening to the arguments and screams of horror that are emitting from down the hall."

Remus growled.

Sirius gasped. "Are you turning into a wolf, or something?"

Remus looked rather like a large, blue, feathery person who was actually about to explode or fly away in terror.

Sirius burst into laughter. "I'm sorry," he managed to say. "YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO FLY AWAY!"

"Werewolves cannot fly," Remus said pointedly. "They can only growl and beat a man who is pretending to read with its bare hands." Remus was close to yelling.

Sirius looked rather terrified. "Um, okay," he said quickly. "Yeah. Totally. I'm not pretending to read. Who? Me? Pfffff. It was..um..Regulus..yeah!"

"Regu - WHERE DID HE EVEN COME FROM YOU CRAZY IDIOT?"

"...Shut up that's not the point moving on with our LIVES..a prank war?"

Remus nodded. "A prank war!"

Sirius stroked his nonexistant beard. "Hm," he said, sounding oddly like a philosopher. Like Plato or something. Except what the heck, why Plato? That's a dumb name. It sounds like Play-Dough. I hate Play-Dough. Sirius sounded like Aristole. Yeah. However you spell his dumb name. Why do philosophers always have such dumb names? "But..they're just kids."

Remus's eyes flapped in anger. "THEY PLAYED A PRANK ON THEIR BROTHER BECAUSE THEY WERE MAD THAT WE DIDN'T TELL THEM OUR IDENTITIES AND IT BACKFIRED ON ME. AND LOOK AT ME. THEY ARE NOT KIDS! NOT! KIDS! AAAAAAGHHHH!"

".Moooony? Are you okay?"

"NOT! NOT! DO KIDS COAT PEOPLE WITH PAINT? PAINT! I MEAN WHY! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT? WHY BLUE? BLUE IS A DUMB COLOR! WHY NOT GREEN OR - "

Sirius sighed. It was gonna be a long day.

Fred and George stood there frozen, as they heard screams coming from Sirius' room. Remus seemed mad, like he was going-to-fly-away-slash-explode-any-moment mad. It's really scary how adults can get when they're mad.

"Should we go apologize?" George asked in a tiny voice. Fred met his eyes for a minute, and then they both laughed.

"Nah, he will just need to blow off some steam," Fred assured George. With that last remark they walked away, hoping that things would be okay with Remus. Of course, they were only hoping.

They were sadly mistaken.

"- A BIRD! A BIRD OF ALL THINGS! I MEAN I'M NOT SOMEONE OUT OF MAXIMUM RIDE! LIKE REALLY?"

"I think it was a chicken, actually," said Sirius cautiously. "They're quite different."

Remus rounded on him. "YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE COULD BE DIFFERENT? YOUR FACE FROM THE REST OF YOUR BODY WHEN I SEPARATE THEM!"

Sirius backed away cautiously, spinning his spinny chair away.

"WHERE DID YOU GET A SPINNY CHAIR?" ranted Remus.

"Aaaaanyways," interrupted Sirius. "You said something about a prank war? "

Remus stopped throwing his arms up in the air and grinned. "A prank war," he agreed. "Between me and you, versus those...twins.."

Sirius giggled -

"Since when do you giggle?"

"I didn't giggle," said Sirius immediately.

Remus stared at him for a moment.

"ANYWAYS," Remus started to say.

"Hey, guys, my mum wanted to know-" Ron came in, his face all bright and happy, until he looked at Remus.

"You were saying?" Remus asked in a monotone, trying to hurry Ron up. Oblivious to the fact that Ron just stared at him.

"Uh, n-never mind," Ron said hastily, as he rushed out of the room.

"What was wrong with him?" Remus asked Sirius.

"Let's just say, that boy as lost all respect for you completely." Sirius grinned. Remus looked at himself in Sirius' full body mirror on the opposite wall.

"I look like a blue dough-boy," Remus touched his blue face. Then, he turned to go look at Sirius with an evil grin on his face.

"Before we even start the prank war, we must get Fred and George in trouble." Remus explained.

"Uh-huh," Sirius nodded, not sure where Remus was going with this.

"I'm gonna go tattle on Fred and George!" Remus ran out of the room..

Sirius's jaw dropped. He immediately tore out of the room, ran down the hall at lightening speed, and caught Remus by the feathery blue shoulder.

"STOP," he ordered. "You are a MARAUDER, Lupin. Don't you remember the golden rule?"

Remus's face twisted for a few seconds, then relaxed in recognition. "Never tattle on someone unless they're Slytherins," he recited dully. "But Sirius - "

"But nothing," cut in Sirius firmly. His eyes darted around (perhaps looking for James's ghost) and whispered in Remus's ear.

"Our golden rule never said anything about tipping other people to tattle."
Remus's eyes widened. "Ron."

Sirius nodded, a grin enveloping his face. "Ron." At this perfect cliche moment Ron came down the hall whistling to himself.

"Hey, Ron," Sirius greeted him.

"What do you want from me?" Ron whimpered. Sirius' hand went to his pants pocket, where he keeps his emergency money.

"Well, you know how you always want to get Fred and George in trouble?" Sirius whispered. An evil grin covered Ron's face, he knew where this was going.

"How much?" Ron asked, he face turning Serious (get it?).

Sirius whispered the price into his ear; a smile covered half of Ron's face.

"Deal," Ron shook his Sirius' hand. "All I have to do it tell to my mum that Fred and George made R.J Lupin blue and covered with fea - "

"R.J Lupin?" interrupted Remus.

"It's your name," Sirius pointed out. "Continue, Ron."

"All I have to do is tattle on them, and include that they were going to do it to me, but did it on an Order Member?"

"Exactly!" Sirius exclaimed. "Now, GO!" Sirius pushed him off towards the stairs. Remus held his hand out towards Sirius.

"We are good!" Sirius said happily, as he gave Remus a high-five.

"Now I can finally go take a shower!" Remus sighed, as he marched off to the bathroom.

"Not yet, Moony," Sirius caught him by the shoulder, and hauled him back to his room.

"We need you for proof." Remus frowned and muttered a curse word under his breath.

"Language, Moony." Sirius scolded.

"You're one to talk, Padfoot."

As they shut walked into Sirius' room, they heard a yell from downstairs.

"FRED, GEORGE, GET DOWN HERE!" Molly shrieked. One last glance Sirius and

Remus locked eyes with Fred and George who were head downstairs. They looked...scared?

"You didnt-" Fred started to say. From the evil glint in Remus' eyes, they both got the message.

"This means war." Fred and George said together. "A prank war."

A/N: gah, well this took long too post...hey there it's potterride..hey-o peeps! Bittersweet's comp is not working swell so I had that pain to do this excruciating job...why can Fanfiction post it for us? Anyways, I have a question, could you tell the difference between bittersweet's and mine writing let us know in the review...REVIEW! R&R plz! smile and laugh today

good luck with life

potterride