Okay guys,

So I know it seems like I stopped writing this story but I just really had a rough time and yes I already thought about quitting this story but what can I say... My spoby passion simply won ;))

So please keep reading and reviewing this story : )

Btw. I can not wait any longer when will it finally be June?

Xoxo, Muriel

Spencer checked her suitcase for the fifth time, and like the times before, everything was exactly where it belonged. Still, it felt like something important was missing and she felt like she couldn't close the suitcase without the missing piece. Hanna sat a few feet away on Spencers red armchair and conveyed a hand full of onion chips into her mouth. "Look Spence, when you called this morning I assumed I was supposed to help you pack, and not sit here for hours to just watch you starring at your case." "Something is missing..." Spencer soliloquised. "I know it is...I just don't know WHAT it is." Hanna groaned and hanged her head. "God this is even worse than my Dads last birthday where he was about to give a speech and suddenly got one of his hiccup cramps." Spencer frowned and averted her gaze from the packed case for the first time. "Wait your dad gets hiccup cramps?" she asked in disbelief. Hanna sighed. "Yeah well, believe me, I was confused too!" "Okay..." Spencer turned to her room again and looked around. Everything looked brand new. There were fresh sheets on the bed, the windows were as clean as if they didn't even exist and not a single dust grain was to be found on the floor. There was just one exception; a brown lonely rocking chair standing in the middle of the room loaded with a bunch of rather masculine shirts, some photographs and a certain necklace. Those were the only things she wanted (had) to leave here on purpose. As if Hanna read her thoughts, she pointed to the chair. "So, what are you going to do with all that stuff?"

"I don't know. Throw it a away. Eventually. "

Suddenly she felt her hands starting to shake and an uncontrollable urge to just throw herself on the bed and cry overwhelmed her. She pressed her fists together and took a deep breath when she dashed away a tear. Why did this keep happening? Today was a good day! It was the last day she had to spend in this Rosewood hell. The last day before she finally was about to start the life she always wanted. The life she DESERVED. God, why´d she had to be so weak? She used to be so much stronger. Hanna, who still sat in the red chair didn't do anything. She knew Spencer Hastings since 7th grade and she knew that she was not that kind of person that wanted to be hugged or anything. So she simply waited until Spencer finally was in control of herself again. Then she said, now in a soft and sympathetic voice. "I think we both know what is missing."

"It´s just..." Spencer sighed. "What if I come back for thanksgiving and I find out, that he moved away. I mean, he always said that the only reason he stayed in Rosewood was I. So what if I´m never going to see him again?"

"Wow that was fast!" Lola looked up and grind at Toby who came from the counters of the Brew with two cups of coffee in his hands. Toby just smirked and served her with the drink and sat down next to her. It was weird that although he and Lola had been going out for over six weeks now it still felt like being with a total stranger. Okay, they haven´t really been "going out" in the way most people would describe it. They´d just sit in the park or the Brew and talk or sit in his apartment watching films for hours. Sure there were those moments when she´d let her hands touch his for a few seconds longer or make a few way to ambiguous compliments. But he would just ignore them. Not because he didn't like her or thought she was pretty, because she was, he just didn't know how to react, considering he never did this whole dating-get-to-know-each other-thing. They just... happened. The one day she was just one of Alison's posse members and the next day he fell head over heels in love with her. They wouldn't need any reasons or any odds telling them if being together would be a good idea, they just were.

That's what made our relationship so amazing and vulnerable at the same time.

"...Fortunately I'm not afraid of storms. Are you? Toby?" Lola s voice suddenly roused Toby from slumbers. "I´m sorry, I was just..." Toby stuttered looking for an excuse. "Thinking about her?" Lola finished his sentence with a hurt facial expression. "No, I was just thinking what to do next weekend, in case it´ll keep raining" Toby lied, what he immediately regretted. Lola knew about his and Spencers relationship, and since Emily started dating Paige again and was AWOL most of the time, Lola was kind of his best friend. And aren't you supposed to tell your best friend the truth about your feelings? "Well" Lola smiled. "If you´re worried about the weekend, I might have good news for you, because I reserved a table in the new restaurant France et l´Amour in Philadelphia, for Saturday evening. You want to come with me?" She asked apparently pretty nervous. Toby tried to hide his confusion with joking. "If I were you I´d be careful, any other kind of guy could get this invitation wrong:" He said with a wink trying to diffuse the tension, but Lola stayed serious. "What do you mean with get this wrong?" "Well, the guy could assume that you want to be more than just his friend." For a moment it was totally quiet at the table before Lola dropped her bombshell "Maybe I do." For a second Toby couldn't believe what just happened all he was able to hear was the thunder and rain raging near the brew. And when she slipped closer to him and looked at him with her sea blue eyes all he could see were big brown deer eyes staring at him. "Look..." She started. "I know about your girlfriend, just like everyone else. I mean, Spencer & Toby, that is basically a legend in this town. And I'm probably an idiot just because I try to keep up with this legend. But the truth is, that I really like you and I..."

"Toby?"

He heard a familiar voice and when he turned around he saw Emily standing behind him with a worried expression on her face. "Em!" He sighed in relief. He had no idea how far Lola's speech would have gotten. He tried to connect the words he just heard with his heard but it felt like there were no emotions left in his body. "What´s going on?" He asked. "Er, well..." Emily coughed slightly obviously not really sure how to tell Toby the news. "It's about Spencer." She started. Toby jumped up immediately suddenly being aware again of all the feelings he had. Dread. Panic. Hope.

"We just brought her to the airport, her flight to London left a few minutes ago." Toby lost ground, and he looked at his friend blink-eyed. "No... No! This can't be! She told me she´d leave next week. I...she... she didn't say goodbye!" Emily averted her gaze. "I'm sorry. I really am. But she left this letter for you." With a sad smile she handed him a white envelope. Toby opened it with shaky hands and read it.

Dear Toby

I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving this evening. I know I'm being a total coward because instead of talking to you I'm writing this stupid letter. I should've looked you in those big blue eyes, should've hugged you, maybe even kissed you one last time. I've almost forgotten how it felt like to have your warm lips on mine. Isn't it terrifying how fast we tend to forget people?

But I don't want to forget you and I don't want to pretend that we never happened, because we did!

I know, I owe you, Toby. I owe you everything. Without you, god, I don't even know if I would have survived the last two years. But what you gave me was more than safety and protection. You made me feel love and passion in a way no one ever did before. You will always be a part of my life and I´ll never forget what we had. But it is time now for the both of us to move on, to start a new chapter in our life. I can't really explain why I couldn't stay, so I guess I just have to hope that you understand me anyway. You always did.

I love you, goodbye,

Spencer

Toby felt like he was losing ground and everyone and everything around him was moving in slow motion. This wasn´t happening! She wouldn´t do this to him! If this had been one of the kitschy movies Spencer used to love, she would have just turned around, driving back home and then she would have just clasped in his arms. Only when Toby heard a glass shattering next to him, he realised that he´d started to run, ignoring Emily, Lola and the rest of the unimportant crowd around him.

I didn´t get to say goodbye!

When he opened the door of the brew he immediately felt the cold embracing him and a shiver ran down his spine. The streets were grey and empty and not a single soul was out there. He was all alone. And suddenly he felt anger having control over him. This was not fair, this freaking life wasn´t fair! Who did she thought she was? How could she just claim that this was good for the both of them?

To say goodbye

Then he slowly started to understand what just happened and he began to cry without caring if this was unmanly or pathetic. He ignored the rain and just sat down on the empty road in front of him. Lola was right, there was a big storm coming and he was not ready.

Goodbye