3
BRCS
A/N: IMPORTANT! If you are interested about some of the more subtle parts of this story, such as family relationships, etc. then I would recommend hopping over to my tumblr and checking out the OVRCMPNSTN page. My tumblr is aggrievvestrife; just go to aggrievestrife dot tumblr dot com slash ovrcmpnstn.
Oh my gog the titles of all of these are so short and unintelligible. So, uh, a lot of my stories were on my iPod. And I was at my aunt's house, which would mean I had perfect internet connection. But no. My iPod died. And I didn't get my hands on a charger until after I got home.
So I decided to work on this and work on getting it updated rather than moping. And also, this is the only chapter that needed updating, that I hadn't already written.
Chapter warnings: Dave/John. Also, some Daddy-Egbert/Bro Strider evil bonding derived from teasing their family members. Enjoy!
[+]
Dave ran his tongue along his teeth, jaw slack as he slouched on the futon, his legs, torso, and arms resting on the coffee table. His head was the only thing sitting up, one hand over his stomach while the other boredly flicked through the channels via duct-taped remote.
As commonplace as it was, Dave still had to pass off his wince as intentional movement when Bro randomly spoke from behind him on the couch.
"You wouldn't happen to remember what we did half a year from yesterday, would you, Lil Dude?" Dave moved his arms upward, pretending to stretch.
"Kicking ass?"
"Language, kid." Bro boredly spoke as he jumped over the back of the futon, smoothly landing beside Dave. It was a bit of a running joke in the household. Both of them knew that Dirk didn't give two shits if Dave swore like a sailor. In fact, he was a bit proud of it. Or at least, Dave assumed he was.
Ooey-gooey words of encouragement were like poison to Striders. Dave was pretty sure that was the reason Dirk never actually openly stated any mush.
Bro put his arms behind his head, kicking up his feet on the table. "Sit up, kid, your gonna fuck up your back sitting like that."
"Fuck you."
"I dare you to say that to me again."
Dave rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically as he pulled himself into a normal Strider sitting position.
"So what were we doing yesterday half a year ago?"
"If you must know," Bro started as he reached forward and snatched the remote out of Dave's hand, flipping to My Little Pony, "we were at a dentist appointment."
"Really? Why the fuck would you have dragged me along?"
"Language. And it wasn't my appointment, fucknuts. It was yours. And you have another one tomorrow."
"Sweet. No school."
Bro rolled his eyes. "I'll kick your ass if you try to stay up late tonight."
Dave knew that was empty. Bro wouldn't even get home until four in the morning, and that was around the time Dave crashed each night.
Sometimes, Dave wondered if his and Bro's relationship was one big ball of bullshit lies to make both of them feel like Dave wasn't neglected.
Not that he'd care. Striders don't give a fuck about that gross family bull.
Right. Dave Strider didn't wish his brother would pay more attention to him.
Nope.
Not at all.
[+]
Most of the drive to the dentist's office the next afternoon was spent making fun of the songs that played on the radio and slapping each other. At one point, Dave had to grab the wheel himself because Bro was too busy attempting to grab Dave's shades. Naturally, they eluded the police well enough, acting the perfect family any time a cop car was nearby. Once out of the vicinity, however, the hair pulling and insults began again.
Bro flirted with the young man who was manning the receptionist desk, who was easily flustered and stumbled over his words as he informed the doctor they were finally there. Almost immediately after Bro finished filling out the forms, they were called back.
Dave spent most of the time on his phone, ignoring Bro as he tried to embarrass Dave by saying he never brushed his teeth, that he poured bleach on his teeth to clean them, that one time he turned his teeth completely black from pigging out on Oreos.
The dentist ignored them both and simply did his job, while Dave texted his best bro via iPhone.
TG: yo
TG: fucking dentists man
TG: fuck them
TG: who needs them?
EB: dave what are you even talking about :B
TG: fucking dentists
TG: bro keeps trying to get the dentist
TG: to stab me in the gums
TG: or give me that laughing gas shit
EB: lame
EB: your bro is such a douche
TG: i will admit he can be sometimes
EB: but dentists can be useful!
EB: you might need braces
TG: what
TG: dude
TG: fuck that
TG: why would you even say that
TG: dont jinx me man
EB: you have a pretty nasty overbite dude
TG: no i dont
TG: fuck you
EB: whatever you say, man
EB: crap, my dad is baking more cake
EB: time to head over to Jake and Janes house
TG: see you later man
[+]
Dave was innocently playing Toontown with Jade when it happened.
Dovahkiin, Dovahkii-
"Moshi moshi?"
Dave rolled his eyes, leaning farther back in his desk chair, keyboard in his lap as he attempted to keep up with Jade's character, ignoring Bro. Damn, why did he have to leave his door open?
Oh, right, because they ordered pizza and Bro would ignore it until thirty minutes were up unless Dave went and opened the door.
"Excuse me?" Sigh. "He does, I make fun of him for it all the time." Wait... "And how much will this cost? ...Uh-huh...Uh-huh..." Wait, wait, wait.
Dave was practically scrambling out of his chair, ignoring the psst of Jade messaging him over toontown about his inactivity. He leaned in his doorway, arms crossed, studying the back of Bro's head over the futon.
"Will insurance cover it? Like, company dental?" Oh, gog, no. "Yeah, I think so. Is it going to be one of those huge bulky head-cage-things? No? Well, can it be? Oh, you guys don't do that anymore? Damn, alright. Yeah, yeah, the tenth is fine."
Dave sincerely hoped he could get away with making plans on the tenth.
Bro calmly tilted his head back, the familiar sense of hair raising on the back of Dave's neck when shaded eyes met shaded eyes. "Sup, Metal Mouth. Something you need?"
Dave wondered if he could vault out of his bedroom window before Bro even knew what happened.
Not likely.
[+]
The eleventh was a Sunday. Dave spent the entire day on the Strider futon, scowling at the TV. Dirk stayed home from his day job waiting tables, instead spending the day alternating between forcing Dave to eat and throwing magnets at his mouth.
Dave's scowl worsened as Dirk sing-songed, "Davey, your little buddy John was worried about you so he called me. Wanna talk to him? I'm sure you two can think of plenty to talk about."
Dave found an orange bedazzled iPhone thrust into his hands. He held it up to his ear, pausing as he attempted to think of a greeting that didn't have any Ss in it. "Yo."
"Hey Dave! Where have you been, man? Rose, Jade and me were all worried about you!"
"Oh really now?"
"Yeah! What have you been up to?"
"Cool ki' thhhenaniganth." Fuck.
"...Dave?"
"Hm?" Monosyllabic answers it is.
"Did you just...lisp?"
"What are you talking about John, why woul' I lithp." Abort mission, abort mission!
He could just hear John snickering on the other end of the phone. "Oh my god. Did you get braces?"
"What. No. Where woul' you even get thomething like that from."
"Oh, man, what color are they? We can be brace buddies!"
Bro's supersonic hearing clearly had no limitations from the other side of the futon, because his lips tilted just slightly upwards and his hand flew to cover the lower half of his face.
"John. 'on't ever thay that again."
"Did I make Bro laugh?" John stage-whispered.
"John I am hanging up. I am hanging up the phone right now, an' never thpeaking to you again."
[+]
The twelfth was a Monday, which meant school. Dave stubbornly kept his mouth clamped shut up until the pep assembly. The other kids assumed he was giving them a taste of what life would be like if he really gave his coolitude all he had. The teachers assumed he was having "family issues" and offerred to discuss matters with Bro.
John laughed every time he saw Dave.
The pep assembly rolled around near the end of the school day. As per usual, Dave skipped out, flashstepping into the boy's bathroom and hanging around there until the teachers were too busy with the assembly. As he ducked out, phone in hand, fully intending to call Bro and ask for a ride home, he nearly bumped into someone.
"Dude, ditching doesn't make you cool."
"You know what elthe ithn't cool, Eg'erp? Ghothbuthterth." List of words to not say until he adjusted to his braces. One: Ghostbusters.
John snickered, easily keeping step as Dave strode out of the school, hands in his pockets. "Soooooooo lame. So where are you going?"
"I wath going to hea' home 'til your lame ath thowe' up. Now I'm jutht going to the library."
"But Dave, that's twenty minutes away from here!"
"No one athke' you to come along, 'oofuth."
With a sigh, John followed behind.
It became obvious John wasn't going to abscond, so Dave continued on to the public library. He supposed he could finally put his (ironic purposes only) library card to use and pick up some children's books. Or maybe something about art history.
As they finally arrived, school possibly already over, their bags over their shoulders, they both couldn't help but relax a little as they stepped out of the hot Texan sun and into the cool air-conditioning of the library. Dave immediately bee-lined towards the manga, deciding that its hidden location at the back of the library was least likely to get them turned into the DA. And also, irony.
And maybe a joke check-out for Bro.
Does Boku no Pico come in manga?
They sat down, leaning against the back-most wall, Dave's eyes lazily scanning the titles, recognizing bedtime stories from his childhood in the manga. John sat beside him, eagerly talking about this and that, just droning on and on.
Every once in a while, Dave would glance over at John, watching how animatedly he spoke about a new game or a specific Betty Crocker product he despised. Dave felt that familiar rhythm in his chest as his heart ached for something off-limits.
Damn John. Damn him with his friendly flirting and overall dorkiness and his constant babbling stream of no-homo, like some sort of demon-worshipping, ritualistic chant. Dave found himself gravitating closer and closer to John, being pulled in by the simple sound of his voice. Amused, he noticed John's eyes continuing to flicker down to his lips, the younger teenager's voice quieting with each inch of distance closed between them.
In the end, it was John that made the first move, dipping forward to press his lips against Dave's. His cheeks were flushed, black eyelashes resting against red skin as he attempted to move his lips in time with Dave's.
Dave scooted closer, one hand gripping John's forearm, the other resting on the slim space of skin between ecto-ghost t-shirt and black cargo shorts. He tilted his head, running his tongue along John's lips, knowing fully well that his best friend, while supposedly immune and new to homosexual encounters, was still fairly well-versed in the language of sloppy make-outs. John pressed their lips closer, head dipping slightly in the opposite direction, deepening the kiss when-
Clink.
Both of them attempted to pull away, only to have their foreheads rammed bck together. Dave's shades were askew, and for a moment his wide red-irises met John's equally shocked blue.
"Fuck."
"Thith ith not happening," John groaned as he struggled to speak with his upper jaw connected to Dave's, moving his teeth in tiny incriments, attempting to unlock their braces.
"We're fucke'," Dave sighed, trying to lean back onto his palms, only to tug John forward onto him, both of them landing in a painful pile on the floor, their jaws aching.
"'ave! 'on't 'o that, man, ow!" John grimaced from on top of Dave, his elbow digging harshly into the cool kid's ribs.
Working together, they managed to get back into their original positions. Dave and John both pulled out their cell phones, before locking gazes once more. "Try Rothe an' I can try Jake?" John suggested. Dave nodded, opening up his contacts.
TG: hey rose
TG: you wouldnt happen to be up for helping me out
TT: I believe you revoked that right when you decided to leave the school premises. Whatever predicament you've found yourself in, I am confident you can manage.
TG: roxy yo you busy
TG: as a matyer of gact i am
TG: *matter *fact
TG: im dure dirky can hep you swesty
TG: *sure *help *sweaty
TG: laughing my a off!
TG: *sweety
Dave groaned, closing his eyes in frustration. "Any luck, Eg'erp?" John shook his head.
"I can try calling 'ad. 'id you try 'irk?"
Dave snorted. "Yeah, becauth we 'efinitely nee' thomeone to thow up just to kick us while we're 'own." Nevertheless, he shot out a text, calmly stating that if his ass did not appear in the manga section of the library, that Dave would ring up CPS and tell his life story.
"'ad? Lithen, I-yeth, I'm fine, I jutht-Yeah, I'm having ithueth with my braceth, you coul' 'efinitely say that. Can you 'ive 'own to the library an' help me out? Uh-huh, near the back. Thank you."
[+]
Dave was certain that John and him were not only joined at the teeth, but also at the heart.
That is to say, judging by the bright color of John's cheeks, John shared Dave's desire to curl up in a ball and die. Between Mr. Egbert's amused smile and Dirk's downright obnoxious laughing, both of the boys were certain they'd never live this down.
"Let me guess, lil man, you tripped and in a magic swirl of cherry blossoms, your lips happened to meet Egbert's?" Dirk asked as soon as he calmed his laughter.
"Bro. Back the fuck off an' get uth unthuck."
"'ad, pleath, can we juth get thith over with?"
John's dad chuckled, shrugging and spreading his palms. "I don't know. This certainly is a suitable punishment for skipping school, John. I'm extremely disapointed with you." Dave was pretty sure that was bull, according to the smile on John's dad's face.
John groaned, attempting to tilt his head back in anguish but instead knocking their foreheads together again. "Ja'e tol' you, di'n't the?"
Dirk smirked, shaking his head at Dave and clicking his tongue. "An' here I thought lil' 'ave Thrider knew better than to go kithing an' macking on nerdth. Tho uncool, 'ude," Dirk mocked, moving forward and finally analyzing the situation.
Mr. Egbert stepped forward as well, gently taking John's face into his hands and leaning down to inspect their predicament. "Do you boys promise to be more careful next time you decide to 'spend quality time' together?" He asked, half-teasing.
"What. Hol' up, Da'y Egbert, juth what the fuck 'o you think-" Dave attempted. However, he was interrupted by John furiously nodding, their teeth and jaws moving in pained and unharmonious agreement. "John, du'e, 'on't juth thell out, we weren't even-"
"'ave juth thut up an' thay yeth tho we can get untangle'." Dave sighed and mumbled something that could be considered an affirmative, and the Strider/Egbert parental team swooped forward to remedy the situation.