A/N: Okay, the last time we left off Kelaiah was about to finish off Linwe when she insulted him, but Kel didn't have time to reply because he had to go and save the life of a feisty female pine marten who thanked him with a big slap across the face. By the time Kel came back to finish his business with Linwe, he discovered, to his horror, that she was gone.
And now, we are to witness just what had happened to her. . . .
Linwe looked around. Something was . . . well, she wouldn't say wrong, she'd say . . . odd, or strange. She probably could've said weird, but Sues don't like to use that word, it's so derogatory, so she didn't.
But what was going on was that Princess Linwe Seregon Maiilaychyah Amethystgem Rayahmyah Yellowgold Shamaiaariah Unicorn Eberoneeaniah Marigoldflower Admatharaiah Roseblossom Yyiurlyah Sunshine Ulliahiah Earring Swifteye the Warrioress was floating around in a limbo most strange, filled with a haze of colors that reminded Linwe very much of her own fur and eyes. They were never the same color, always going from aqua to crimson to pink to gold to violet to olive to topaz to all kinds of colors.
Linwe was not scared, nor was she very phased (it was supposed to be "fazed" but it is common knowledge that Sues are often plagued with poor spelling and bad grammar) or very surprised by what was going on, as she was a Sue. She just simply floated aimlessly about, reveling in the light feeling that passed through her perfect slender body and the gorgeous bright colors that were almost but not quite as bright and beautiful as her own brilliant pelt and luminous orbs.
Suddenly the squirrelmaiden saw something come floating towards her through the haze.
At first she couldn't make it out, it being only a dark shadow amongst the dazzling hippie colors, but soon it gained more shape and structure that Linwe could see that it was a mouse.
And boy, was he HOT!
The mouse was young, tall, broad-shouldered, and gorgeous, clad in only a skimpy black kilt and a blood-red cloak draped across his mighty shoulders, with a beauty that could almost but not quite match Linwe's own perfect looks, and she immediately knew that this mouse could be none other than-
"Martin the Warrior!" she cried, happy and gleeful to be in the presence of the abbey's first champion (even though she couldn't have ever heard of him, seeing as how she was supposed to have lived away from Redwall, but, of course, she was a Mary-Sue, after all).
"No," said the mouse, in a deep, raspy voice that would've put the Witch King of Angmar to shame.
Linwe was rather caught off guard by this, but before she could say a word, the handsome mouse went on:
"Just a mouse who looks like Martin the Warrior," the rodent explained. "Does Martin the Warrior have black fur and red eyes?"
Linwe peered at the handsome mouse very carefully, and realized he was right; Martin didn't have glossy ebony black fur and ruby-red flaming eyes; he had smooth shiny creamy brown fur and slivery gray eyes like a sea storm in the winter.
"If you're not Martin the Warrior," Linwe said carefully, "then who are you?"
"I am . . . The Ego."
Song stared off after Kelaiah, furious and incredulous beyond belief that the ferret had neglected to kill off Linwe before he went off saving lives! What an idiot!
The abbess turned and glared down at Linwe, who, for whatever reason, had fallen into a deep slumber.
Song had no idea why the Sue would be asleep at a time like this . . . but then again, it was a good time to finish off Linwe herself. . . .
Grinning like a total maniac, Abbess Songbreeze Swifteye knelt down by her "sister" and was about to sink her dewclaws into Linwe's perfect delicate throat when suddenly a bright bubble-gum pink aura appeared around the sleeping squirrelmaid, making the other squirrelmaid bounce off.
"Wha - aht?" squawked Song, picking herself back up. She hurried back over to Linwe to stare down at the dazzlingly pink aura floating about her, and realized that this pink goop was a sort of "Sue-force field" or whatever that protected Linwe while she slumbered!
So that's how Sues can get eight hours of sleep every night, was the first thought that came to Song's mind. The second thought told her that once Linwe woke up, she'd go after Dann.
That thought was particularly unsettling, so the abbess turned and hurried down the stairs to do something about it.
Once she reached the bottom of the steps, Abbess Song stopped and stared around her, taking in all the Sues that were running rampant through the abbey grounds, hacking and slaying here and there, changing the brave, valiant Redwallers into Sues, while the rest of the abbey dwellers who weren't turned into Sues were still battling gamely on: Cregga had uprooted one of the trees from the orchard and was swinging it around, roaring the bloodthirsty battle cry of the badgers; Janglur, Song's father, was giving a few Stus a particularly nasty beating; and Florian the hare was having a battle of insults with a group of Sues, running around in circles, screaming at the top of his lungs all sorts of nasty insults, making the Sues recoil and shudder.
Meanwhile, back in Linwe's dream:
"You're . . . The Ego?" the beautiful slender squirrelmaid asked in awe.
"I am," the handsome mouse, The Ego, said, looking quite impressive.
"Then . . . then. . . ." Linwe tried to figure out what this meant, but this time, she was stumped, so she finished with the dramatic, "What do you want?"
As the Sues battled across the abbey grounds, a course of reckless rage flooded the system of Abbess Songbreeze. She clenched her jaw and growled and snarled as she watched her abbey dwellers become Sues before her very eyes; never mind that yes there was a number of Redwallers that were still normal and fighting, just attacking one of her abbeybeasts was a mistake! A big mistake!
"Grrr!" she said, grinding her teeth. "Well, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!"
And with that, the abbess tore across the lawn, swinging her fist into the unsuspecting face of a mouse-Sue. The Sue fell to the ground in an unconscious heap, dropping her weapon - a black and gold whip.
"Aha! Just what I need!" the abbess said with a deranged cheerfulness as she scooped up the weapon, making the author cringe and lean back in his seat.
"What do I want, Princess Linwe Seregon Maiilaychyah Amethystgem Rayahmyah Yellowgold Shamaiaariah Unicorn Eberoneeaniah Marigoldflower Admatharaiah Roseblossom Yyiurlyah Sunshine Ulliahiah Earring Swifeye the Warrioress?" The Ego said in his deep, raspy, makes-the-Witch-King-seem-like-an-amateur voice.
Linwe gasped. "H-how did you know my name?!" she cried, her slender delicate paws reaching up to her slim shapely throat, her gorgeous eyes widening. (The author, believe it or not, almost did the same, being taken aback that anybeast besides Linwe would remember all of her names)
"I am what all Sues originate from," The Ego said, with such impressiveness that Linwe backed away in awe and wonder. "And I have come here, Linwe Seregon, to give you . . . a gift."
The abbess whipped out the whip (no pun intended), looked around at the mass chaos encircling her, and finally saw what she was looking for.
Lifting the weapon high above her head, she pulled back and let the whip fly.
The end of the whip wrapped itself around the neck of Dannflor Reguba.
"Aack!" cried Dann, his tongue sticking out, his eyes nearly popping out.
Song gave a firm yank from her end of the whip, causing Dann to stumble backwards, clutching at the noose-like whip.
Satisfied, the abbess turned and ran full speed back into the abbey, the abbey champion stumbling along after her.
"Aack! Augh! Bleegh! Aack!" choked Dann, one paw trying desperately to free his muscular neck from the whip's bindings, his other paw trying to keep his kilt from falling off.
Finally Song reached the doors back into the building. Kicking them open, she gave her sharpest yank yet, sending Dann flying into the Great Hall and coming to a none-too-comfortable stop.
"A- a gift? F- for me?" whispered Linwe.
"Yes, little one," The Ego said in a fatherly (though kinda creepy) voice. "I am here to present you with the ability to choose your own death."
Linwe gasped. "Wh- wh- what do you mean?!" she cried, her eyes widening.
"I want you, Linwe Seregon, to pick a way how you can die, and I will make it so that that will be the only way how you can die."
"S-so," Linwe said, picking up on this fast. "If I take this gift, then all the other ways how Sues can killed won't affect me?"
"That is right."
"Well then!" said Linwe cheerfully. "I accept!"
"Excellent!" The Ego said, smiling, though there was a grim twinkle in his ruby eyes when he said the following, "However, there is one catch."
Linwe stiffened. "Wh- what do you mean?!"she cried, her eyes widening once again (the author thought that what with all that eye-widening that she did, it was a surprise those gargantuous orbs of hers didn't fall out).
"I get to pick out a death for you too."
"You- what?!"
"You will pick out a way how you can die," explained The Ego, "and I can pick out a way how you can die. It's very simple, and there'll only be two ways how you can be killed. And don't worry," he added in a reassuring voice. "I won't pick anything obvious."
"Well . . . well . . . I suppose," Linwe said, waving her paws about helplessly.
"Good. Now, then, what sort of way to death would you like, my dear?"
"Oh dear, I really don't . . ." suddenly Linwe's eyes lit up, and a broad smile spread across her gorgeous even features. "I know just what I want!"
The Ego smiled. "Wonderful. Now please, tell me, what is it?"
Linwe stepped forward and placed her perfect mouth next to The Ego's ear and whispered her choice.
A smile slowly spread across The Ego's handsome face, and he chuckled.
"What a good idea," he said, looking at Linwe with another twinkle in his ruby-red eyes.
"Now what's your choice?" Linwe said, a little apprehensive.
The Ego smiled and placed his own mouth next to her delicate shell-like ear and whispered his choice.
The squirrelmaiden's eyes widened, but a grin quickly graced her features. She looked up at The Ego with sparkling radiant eyes and said, "No one would ever suspect that!"
The Ego chuckled and slipped his muscled arm around her slender form. "Good. I'm glad you like my choice. By the power vested in me, the two ways that we ourselves have come up are now the only ways that Princess Linwe Seregon Maiilaychyah Amethystgem Rayahmyah Yellowgold Shamaiaariah Unicorn Eberoneeaniah Marigoldflower Admatharaiah Roseblossom Yyiurlyah Sunshine Ulliahiah Earring Swifteye the Warrioress can die."
Linwe gave a small gasp as she felt a strange sensation flood into her perfect system, making her feel suddenly light as a feather and somehow even more beautiful than she ever had been, and even more graceful, and more brighter and even more . . . powerful. . . .
"Now then," The Ego said, kissing her forehead gently. "You may wake up now."
Letting go of the whip, Song leapt in through the doors and slammed them shut, whirling around to glare at Dann, who had finally managed to get the whip off and was heaving in big gulps of breath, his bare, massive chest expanding with each intake, his heavy paws massaging his thick neck.
"Wha- wha- what was that for?!" the large male squirrel finally managed to gasp, staring at Song with wide eyes.
The abbess marched right up to him, fuming and looking as though she might hit him. Even though he was a lot bigger than she was, the abbey champion still backed away from her.
"Don't you have any idea what this is about?!" the squirrelmaid shrieked, small flecks of spit flying out from her lips.
"Okay, honey, say it, don't spray it," Dann muttered, wiping at his chest.
Song slapped him; Dann placed a paw against his cheek, glad that his arms were now free to do this sort of luxury.
"THERE'S A WHOLE ARMY OF SUES OUT THERE! AND ONE OF THEM IS AFTER YOU!!!" SCREAMED SONG. HER RAGE WAS SO GREAT THAT EVEN HER POINT OF VIEW HAD TO BE ALL IN CAPS.
"Whoa, honey, enough with the caps," said Dann, holding up his paws.
"STOP CALLING ME 'HONEY'! DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE YOU CAN CALL HONEY?!" ROARED ABBESS SONG.
Dann paused and looked down at the raging squirrelmaid, and said, "No, you're right. You don't look like a honey. You'd have to be sweet-tempered for that- "
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" AND SONG WOULD'VE HIT DANN FOR A THIRD TIME, BUT THEN-
BAM!
Song and Dann's heads snapped around to face the doors, where there was a blinding light that slowly faded to reveal a dim silhouette of a slim, shapely, exquisite, squirrel-like form. A deep, warm, sweet, mystical melody filtered into the room, a melody that very closely resembled the theme song for the elves in Lord of the Rings.
Song took in a strangled gasp through gritted teeth and her eyes went as wide as dinner plates-
"Hey!" said Dann happily. "You stopped with the caps . . . oh . . . uh . . . ahhh. . . ." The poor squirrel trailed off, his head tilting to the side as he stared at the figure standing on the threshold, looking for all the world like some statue of a Roman goddess or another, only squirrel-ified.
Dann's eyes became glazed, his mouth fell open, and drool began to pour down his chin, little floating hearts appearing about his head, an eerily romantic harp-song begining to play in the background, along with a female's voice that sounded oddly like Enya.
The sturdy squirrel's broad shoulders slumped, and his knees almost buckled, but they somehow managed to remain upright so that Dann could further gaze at the strikingly, breathtakingly, dazzlingly, astonishingly, wonderfully, beautifully, perfectly, miracuously, awe-inspiring squirrel-beauty that was slowly stepping into the Great Hall with the upmost perfect lightness and grace of a thousand angels.
Dann's mind became a strange haze that was filled with a jumble of thoughts that rolled around aimlessly, tumbled about, and floated with no direction whatsoever. The only clear thought that his mind possessed was how amazingly gorgeous this squirrelmaiden was, how her eyes were like a sea of emeralds and turquoises and diamonds reflecting moonlight and starlight on a clear summer night, how her lovely precious silky glossy fur was far more softer and velvety-er than any mole and was such a shade of crimson it would have put all the rubies and roses in the world to shame. Swathed across her slender elegant form was a gown of pale spring-green that floated about her like a soft downy cloud, even though there was no current breeze in the hall.
The miraculously lovely squirrelmaid was already halfway across the room towards Dann, her lovely splendid fur rippling about in a most ethereal sort of way, when Abbess Song suddenly sprung herself in front of him, arms stretched wide, her face set up in a fierce snarl, her fifty-foot eyelashes seeming to take on a life of their own, bristling so that they became like swords.
The startlingly beautiful squirrelmaid, however, didn't seem the least bit perturbed by Song's actions (though she was a little annoyed by the fact that someone was keeping her from getting to Dann, but she could cope with that for now), in fact, she seemed quite pleased, and gave a smile that lit up the hall so much that forced Song to squint.
"Song!" the spectacularly fair squirrelmaiden cried happily, and even though she just said one word, the abbess of Redwall knew that her own voice, compared to this squirrelmaiden's high sweet bubbly one, would be as a bad as Dotti's voice.
Well, Song didn't like that, so it would explain some of her following rudeness:
"Who do you think you are, barging on in here like you own the place?!" the abbess snarled, wishing that she had some sharp vermin fangs like that one ferret had.
The squirrelmaiden, however, smiled prettily, lowered her long (though not as long as Song's; Song smirked), dark, curved, sooty lashes over her humongous emerald orbs, and her smile became a grin that revealed two rows of perfectly even, dazzlingly snowy white pearl-like teeth, making Song want to vomit.
"I am Princess Linwe Seregon Maiilaychyah Amethystgem Rayahmyah Yellowgold Shamaiaariah Unicorn Eberoneeaniah Marigoldflower Admatharaiah Roseblossom Yyiurlyah Sunshine Ulliahiah Earring Swifteye the Warrioress," the squirrel-damsel said, her sweet, melodious voice as fresh and clear and refreshing as a bubbling stream is to the parched throat of a traveling warrior. Song flinched and scowled at the same time, causing a lot of pain to her face muscles.
Suddenly Song had a sickeningly strong sense of deja vu. She had been through this before! She knew she had! It had been that dream, where this self-same Sue had tried to take Dann, but Song couldn't remember the rest of it! What had happened? When did it happen? Had they ever gotten rid of the Sue? How did they do it?!
The Sue stepped forward, making Song snap out of her reverie and shout, "Not one more step!"
Not only did Linwe disobey the order, but she also laughed, a laugh that was as clear and sparkly and tinkling as a bell, with the slightest, smallest trace of malicious intent beneath it.
"Oh, Song, do you not know who I am?" the Sue said, coming very close, making the abbess try to take a step back, but Dann was behind her, who couldn't, and wouldn't, back away from the squirrel-goddess before him, so Song found herself sandwiched between the two.
Trapped between a Sue and drooling idiot. What are the odds? thought Song irritably.
Linwe stopped in front of Song, took her paws in her own (Song noticed that her own paws looked all gray and wrinkly and even kinda knobbly in Linwe's bright-colored, smooth-furred, dainty, small ones), widened her eyes in glee (Song also noticed that golden flecks had suddenly appeared in Linwe's gigantic green orbs), and gushed, "I have searched all my life, all my horrid, cold, loveless, dreadful life! I've searched and scoured for miles and miles, going through so many pains and torture and overcoming oh so many excruciating trials, and now I have found you!"
Song pulled her head back, more then a little creeped out by the other squirrelmaid's choice of words, but she was quite certain what she was going to say next:
"Song, I'm your long-lost twin-sister!" the squirrelmaiden squealed, squeezing all the feeling out of the abbess's paws.
Again with the deja vu. Even though she knew that that had been coming, this little piece of information still churned the already-completely disgusted stomach of Abbess Songbreeze. Song pulled such a face that she pulled a muscle in her face, causing her to give a sharp cry.
"Yes!" Linwe squealed, thinking that Song was surprised and delighted, pumping her "sister's" paws up and down in a most gleeful manner that would've made any sane beast want to slap her, but Song couldn't do that, let alone massage her pained face muscles (shame Dann was fully conscious to realize that, otherwise he would've given Song a smug look, causing her to become even more annoyed than she already was).
Linwe, however, oblivious to what was going on in the mind of her dearly beloved sister, went on, "We were separated when we but infants; I was raised in slavery on Castle Marl and was forced to endure so many hardships and my childhood was stolen from me and one day Mokkan heard me singing and fell in love with me but I was far too pure of heart to give into him-"
This little piece of information made Song's last meal want to tear its way out of her mouth and tell Linwe just exactly what it thought of the idea of a Marlfox falling in love with a slave, especially a squirrel, but Song decided that she didn't want to take the chance and spoil her new habit, so the abbess quickly swallowed the indignant bile and pulled a disgusted face at the rancid taste.
"Oh, but it's all right, dear sister," said Linwe, noticing Song's expression. "I survived when Mokkan threw me into the lake as punishment-"
Song drew herself up, indignant that the pike that infested the lake surrounding Castle Marl had passed up the gold-and-jeweled opportunity of eating this Sue alive and peeling her flesh from her bones-
"Oh yes, wasn't it just horrible of him?!" cried Linwe, thinking that Song's indignant expression was over Mokkan's actions.
Trying to kill you was the first good thing that fox has ever done; give 'im a break! thought the abbess of Redwall.
But then again, if Mokkan had done his job right, Linwe probably would've gotten eaten by the pike and wouldn't be standing here right now! Stupid Mokkan. Song hoped that the Sue-vixens out there were giving him just what he deserved.
Song's wish was granted: all of the Sue-vixens were holding him down, one with golden fur holding down one arm, another with black fur holding down the other, a red one holding down a leg, an auburn one with yellow streaks holding down the other, and a chocolate-brown one holding down his tail. The rest of them were lovingly stroking him, snuggling his neck with their cute button noses, resting their delicate paws on his chest, and tickling his footpaws with feathery caresses, all of them giggling and sighing with delight.
"Oh, but I got ashore all right," Linwe continued on, waving her slender paw as though it were a trivial thing to survive a lake full of pike (if there were any pike around when Linwe was thrown in; maybe they were all sickened by her sickeningly sickening sickness and swam away). "I ended up traveling south and ended up in Southsward where the King and Queen of the place had suffered a miscarriage and because they really wanted a child they adopted me and everyone in the land loved me and there was this one squirrel who bore a striking resemblance to a handsome male squirrel slave that I knew on Castle Marl that was killed by Mokkan, and to Dann here-" she added, casting a longing glance at the drooling male squirrel behind Song- "and he-"
But the Sue got no farther, for Song pointed behind her, towards the door, shouting, "Oh no! Baby Dwopple's in trouble!"
Actually, Dwopple wasn't in any trouble in the least; Janglur Swifteye had handed the infant mouse his sling shot and told him very strictly that he must hit as many Sues as possible. Dwopple obliged willingly, and was at that moment firing off apple cores at a random Stu who was waving his sword around, trying to ward off the infant mouse's attack.
But Linwe did not know that.
She gasped and did a one-eighty, running full speed out the door, crying, "Baby in danger! Baby in danger! Don't worry, sweetie! I'll save yoooooooooooooooooooou!"
Song slammed the door shut, locked it, and piled a whole bunch of furniture against it, thinking to herself: Oh, sorry Dwopple, you've been so good lately, but we all need to make our sacrifices in life; and hoping against hope that Linwe wouldn't be able to break down the doors after she was done "saving" the baby mouse.
Eh, what's the point? asked a voice in Song's head. She can climb in through a window . . . okay, why did I say that?
"Eeek!" said Song as the thought came to her. She turned to Dannflor, who was shaking his head, as though trying to clear it (but that didn't seem to be doing any good, as his eyes were still rolling about in their sockets), and wiping the drool from his mouth and chin.
Song walked straight up to him and slammed her fists into Dann's gut.
"Oof!" gasped Dann, his knees finally buckling and his eyes finally ceasing their rolling. From his position on the ground, he managed to gasp through still-drool-covered lips, "Wha- wha- what was that one for?!"
"Some help you were!" the abbess snapped, not the least bit sorry for what she had done; she was much too jealous to care. "There I was, all open and defenseless, and you just stand there, all googly-eyed and drooling! And you were the one with the sword, too! Some abbey champion you turned out to be!"
Fighting to regain his breath, Dann glared up at his abbess, flicking off the remaining drool, throughly annoyed by the whole situation. "Hey, I didn't ask for the job, sweetheart. And speaking of such, some abbess you turned out to be, letting a whole horde of Sues in!"
"You're the champion! That's your job!" Song retorted, giving him a sharp kick. "Ha! Who was the one who jumped off the waterfall to save a dying bird that ended up being very useful to our quest? ME! Who was the one who stood up to that bullying shrew Fenno and avenged the death of his father-figure? DIPPLER! Who was the one who helped us get a boat and tricked an evil vole leader and was a really cute comic relief? BURBLE! But YOU, you didn't do anything! You didn't do anything to earn the title 'Reguba'! HA! The only thing you're good for is standing around looking pretty!"
"Is that why you had me chained to the wall earlier?" asked Dann, as if the idea had just occurred to him.
"Well . . . yes, that was part of the reason."
"Part?" Dann asked, giving Song a look.
Song flushed. "People seem to think for some reason that we are in love, so they're always writing these stories about how we get together, and so I decided that I've had it and had to do something about it. So I chained you to the wall so you could never again lay paws on me! Ha ha!"
Dann stared up at Song for awhile, obviously beginning to doubt the possible sanity of the abbess of Redwall.
"STOP DOUBTING MY SANITY!" ROARED SONG, HER "ANGRY-CAPS" MODE COMING BACK ON.
"Man," groaned Dann, getting back onto his weary footpaws. "I'm glad the author that's writing this fic has given me another romance besides you."
"WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" SCREAMED SONG, INCREDULOUS THAT DANN COULD POSSIBLY PREFER LINWE OVER HER.
"Look, Song, hon-" -he was about to say "honey" but caught himself just in time- "eh, dearest, you're really nice and all, and you've got a great voice, and you have those really long eyelashes, and you're really smart and tough and all, but . . . I'd just rather be with someone else."
SONG'S RAGE SEEMED TO SURPASS WORDS FOR HER TO EXPRESS, SO WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING WAS THAT A WHOLE BUNCH OF STEAM ENDED UP SPOUTING OUT OF HER EARS.
However, there was little time for all this melodrama, for the doors to the Great Hall shuttered, golden beams of light spilling forth from the spaces around the frame, a gentle sound of a booming chorus sneaking its way in.
"Augh!" cried Song.
"Oh good, you stopped with the caps," said Dann, grinning.
"Gimme the sword!" Song commanded, holding out her paw. "You won't be able to use it once she comes back in!"
"What?!" cried Dann, aghast at the very thought of handing over his beloved sword to anybeast else. "No, no, no, no!"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" shouted Song, reaching for his shoulder belt.
"No, no, no, no!" squealed Dann, trying to push her away.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" screamed Song, jerking at the buckle.
"No, no, no, no!" cried Dann, trying to pull her off.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
"No, no, no, no!"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
"No, no, no, no!"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
"No, no, no, no!"
"Yes, yes, ye-!"
Song fell to the floor, the belt and Martin's sword in her paws, right when the doors burst open, and another flood of pale golden light gushed its way into the room, and You-Know-Who stepped in, keeping in perfect harmony with the sweet, elvish-sounding rhythm.
Dann, who was about to bend over and try to relieve Song of his precious sword, froze, and then drooped like a wilting flower, his burly arms hanging, his broad shoulders slack, his knees meeting each other to keep him from falling, his tail falling limply to the floor, his head to the side, drool cascading down his chin, even more hearts floating about his love-sick head.
Song, filled with even more wild jealous rage, scrambled to her feet, struggling to wrench the sword of Martin from its sheath, when she caught sight of Linwe, and froze, her mouth falling open, her brow furrowing in disbelief.
No way. . . .
. . . That is NOT freakin' POSSIBLE!
A/N: Well, things haven't turned out for the better, have they?
Just what are the two deaths that Linwe and 'The Ego' chose for her?
Are the Sues going to be defeated, or does this look like the end of any possible good redwall stories from now on?
What do you all think of the 'relationship' between the abbess and the champion?
And just what is it about Linwe that Song thought was impossible?
Find out in the next chapter! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Ahem.
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Ahem.
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!
Sorry. I just couldn't resist.