Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

'Will you give it a rest?' Kevin asked as he paced Penelope's apartment. 'He left Penelope, over 2 months ago, give it a rest will you.'

'Give it a rest?' Penelope said snappily. 'Give it a rest? No I won't Kevin.'

'He left so you wallow!'

'You know what Kevin, if him upping and leaving has shown me something its what I want in life!'

'What's that suppose to mean?'

'I don't want this anymore, we're not going anywhere, we haven't for a while, we fight, we argue, I hate your habit of biting your nails, it actually makes me sick and I can't do this anymore.'

'Fine! But you'll regret it Penelope! You can't survive without me and you know it!'

'I can't survive without you? I survived pretty okay without you before I met you.'

'So much so you got yourself shot.' Kevin spat out at her and regretted it immediately. 'Penny, I'm sorry.'

'No you're not, you're just saying that. Is that what you've thought all along? Since we met, that I'm the tech that got myself shot?'

'No, no way.' He tried to back track. 'I love you remember.'

'Get out Kevin, you just proved to me everything you think so get out, post my stuff I've got at yours back to me and leave me the hell alone!'

'Penny! Can we not try and work this out.'

'No!' Penelope said back adamantly and went and grabbed some of his things. 'Take your things Kevin and leave.'

'You can't just end this like this.'

'I can and am.' She said and silenced herself until he was gone and out of her apartment. When he was and silence settled instead of the hustle and bustle and the sound of mad dashing's to grab things Penelope sank and broke down.

It was a time like this she'd just pick the phone up, call Derek's number and tell him and feel better, grabbing her phone she called him, not surprised to get voicemail. When her turn to speak came she just froze.

'I give up.' She said and closed her phone in admittance to defeat; her tears came thicker and faster now. She'd lost two men from her life at once, although Derek had gone a long time ago that was for sure.
Deciding on her next action, she knew she needed a release, a way to close a door in order to open another so she grabbed a pad and pen and wrote out her final goodbye.

Satisfied somewhat with its contents she got up and went and put it in an envelope. Writing the address she had for Derek, she sealed it and went to post it. Then as she watched it fall into the mail box, she didn't feel a release or a chapter closed, her heart just broke even more than it already was.

Derek looked around his apartment, it was bland and even though it housed him and Clooney it lacked something else, the one thing Penelope gave his place in Quantico, presence. It'd been 2 months and even though he'd started a relationship, he was only damaging himself more and more. He was only hurting himself.

He loved the fact that his family were close but he hated that the one person that chased nightmares and cured his tortured soul was so far away, he hated that he'd left and he was finding it regrettable but had to do what was right for him and this, in the long run, would be right for him.

Now he looked at the envelope that had come in the post, he hadn't opened it in the 3 days he'd had it. He knew the writing, signature baby girl script scrawled on the front. At first he was going to burn it, he had already cut most contact with her out in order for him to move on but no, that break hadn't come, it became crushing.

He looked at his phone, 6 voicemails, that had stayed that way for a good solid 5 days and now he wondered why so he sorted the phone and played it aloud. Sitting back he waited for it to play out.

'Hi, I guess you're busy, some job eh? Well I hope you're enjoying it handsome and yeah hope you're fitting in.' He heard her laugh. 'Guess you are seeing as I'm leaving yet another voicemail. I'll talk to you soon, bye.'

He sighed; she sounded so off from her usual self. He waited as the next message played.

'Quantico's pining for you hot stuff, we miss you, I heard you spoke to the guys today. Reid's moods picked up again. Thanks for doing that for him, he needed it. I guess I missed the call but, yeah, I'll talk to you whenever.'

He had deliberately skipped her, for fear he'd want to just run back to her. Her voice was so different to his normal vibrancy and that worried him.

'Mon Cheri, I miss you, more than you'll ever know. I just hope Chicago knows what a great person they have back. Bye.'

Derek sat up; he could hear yelling in the back of that one. Kevin's yelling.

'I could really use a Derek Morgan talk after that case. I could really use just a talk all round at the moment really. But you Derek Morgan continue having a ball and keep safe please.'

He needed Penelope Garcia talks to but they were a rarity now.

'I'm seriously going out of my mind; I just need to hear your voice.' He heard her sniff and her voice shake. 'I need to know you're safe, but I guess that doesn't really matter now. I'm not going to say I miss you, because it just hurts, I'm not going to say I'm worried you're hurt, I know you're not, you spoke to others today. Come for a visit soon please.'

Derek fell back against the sofa and ran a hand over his head, what was he doing to her.

There was a long pause, just shallow tear felt breathing. 'I give up.'

He shot back up again. She gave up. Gave up on what? With that thought he grabbed the envelope and ripped it open, his heart beat was literally in his throat as he did and then it dropped and shattered. As he pulled the letter out, the light glinted on metal and his eyes welled as he saw the necklace he'd gotten her. The one engraved with the one word that meant she was his.

Baby girl.

He tore the letter apart to read and he shook as he read it. I don't understand what I did to make you just forget me. Derek felt angered, he hadn't meant for her to feel like that, anything but that and now she was doubting him. I suppose I can't have the man I want to; the man she wants? His confusion peaked then, who did she want, Kevin was her one. I dumped Kevin; there was the gate way he wanted. I won't call again Derek. His heart clenched again, that's why there'd been a halt to all calls and then he read on: Count this as a final goodbye and just because this failed me, don't let it fail you: The heart gets what the heart wants. Was that her saying that she was in love him here? Or was he just hoping? Derek stood up at that point; his thoughts were killing him now and then the signed name at the bottom. Garcia. Never had she signed things that way to him, now he realised how wrong he'd been to leave.