Kate combs her fingers through her hair, growling at the renegade curl that refuses to settle with the rest, and tries to manage a deep breath. It's just a date with her husband, something they did often throughout their years together, even before they were together, but it feels like a first date, like something foreign and new, and with it comes the first date jitters that she hasn't encountered in ages.

Beckett sighs and abandons her hair for a minute, focuses on her reflection in the mirror instead. She brushes her fingers over her cheeks, the sharpened edges of her bones slicing across her fingertips, and frowns back at herself for it. She's a little more hollow, the reminder to eat often evading her, her appetite just as elusive, and never had she relied on Rick to ensure she kept a decent meal plan, but his home cooked dinners and abundant leftovers hadn't hurt. Since their separation, she had fallen back into the habit of turning her fridge into a Styrofoam temple and often ignoring the necessity of grocery shopping.

Her efforts had increased somewhat within the last month, though. The desire to be better, to be a little less broken for him, encouraging her to pay a more attention to her health. Progress has been made on that front, she's sure of it, or else the worry in Ryan and Esposito's eyes would still be prominent and glaring every time they looked at her.

Kate adds an extra touch of concealer beneath her eyes, another sweep of mascara to her lashes to bring out the gold hiding beneath the swatches of brown and green, and blinks in approval. He saw her on the verge of tears yesterday, barely clinging to her composure, but she wants… she wants to be beautiful for him tonight, to feel beautiful again after being overshadowed by darkness for nearly two years.

She forces herself to step back from the mirror, to stop overanalyzing every inch of her skin, and checks the time. Ten minutes to five, she had time, but she quickens her barefooted padding across her bedroom to tug on a pair of socks and her favorite boots. She had told Castle she'd be on his doorstep by five-thirty, having an entire evening planned to spend with him.

When they had first started dating, it had been Rick who had pulled out all of the stops, arranged the majority of their dates and put forth a majority of the romantic efforts. Now it was her turn.

She had spent the entire morning planning, calling in a couple of favors that she thinks even Castle would be impressed by, and beneath the nerves, those butterflies with razor-edged wings still scraping through her stomach, she's excited. Giddy, even, and she can hardly remember the last time her heart had fluttered with the silly but wonderful sensation.

Kate smiles to herself as she zips up her boots and reaches for the coat she has thrown over the armchair near her bed, checking her purse to ensure she has everything before starting for the door, the click of her heels echoing through the small, empty apartment. She has to dodge the short towers of cardboard boxes on her way to the front entrance, avoiding the packaged up dishes and knick knacks Rick had mailed to her in September, when he must have finally accepted that she was never coming back. She had never unpacked, merely digging through the boxes if she was in need of a specific item. Castle had taken the time to neatly label everything for her and it had had her crying even harder the night her things were delivered to her doorstep.

She hadn't unpacked, and she certainly didn't plan to anytime soon.

Kate jerks at the door, grunting when it sticks, and strides down the hall, buttoning her coat as she jogs down the stairs. With her luck, the untrustworthy elevator would get stuck and she'd miss her date, ruin all of her carefully crafted plans.

Snow is falling when she steps outside, light and misting through the pale sky, clinging to the locks of her hair and the shoulders of her coat. She's grown to love this weather, to forgive the winter for acts it was never responsible for, but opts for a cab to travel the distance between her place in Tribeca and the loft despite the temptation to walk. The fifteen minute drive crawls by slowly, though, and she almost regrets her decision. At least walking would have given her an outlet for all of the nervous energy bubbling beneath the surface of her skin.

Kate fidgets with her gloves in the backseat, fights with the urge to let her knee bounce and jiggle. It's just Castle, just the man whose heart she broke with her own two hands, just the man she loves in a way that is almost painful.

"Hey, honey, you gonna get out or just let my meter run?"

Kate swallows and pays the expectant cabbie before promptly sliding out of the cab and starting for a building that was once her home. She doesn't recognize the doorman in the lobby when she enters and she bites back the question on her tongue, wondering what happened to Eduardo, hoping that he finally learned how to take a few extra days off since his daughter was born. Hoping the doorman who had always offered her a friendly smile and encouraging winks every time she entered the building with Castle hadn't quit before she could wish him a farewell.

Her thoughts and concerns over the doorman fade away on her ride up the elevator, anticipation coiling low in her stomach, blooming to consume her chest as the doors to the lift slide open and her feet carry her down the hall to his door.

She allows herself no more than a moment, a quick breath to fill her lungs, before she knocks on his door, the rap of her knuckles confident and strong, everything she lacks. The steady pattern of his footsteps approaching steals her attention and a second later, the door is swinging open and Castle is standing in front of her, dressed in a rich purple dress shirt, a fitting pair of slacks, and a blazer that sits well on his broad shoulders.

"Hey, we match," he chuckles, already smiling at her, and her lips spread in relief.

She's aware that the anger towards her is still alive, a dull roar that likely inhabits his chest, hidden away for now, but she's accepting of the rightful existence of his fury. She earned it. But his eyes are shining at her now, the tentative excitement she's felt all evening reflecting back at her, and Kate nods, tries to quell the hopeful stretch of her lips from splitting her face in two.

"I guess we do," she concedes, glancing down to the royal purple of the sweater that hugs her curves and slims her waist. "The boys would have fun with this one."

Castle releases another chuckle and steps out into the hall with her, locking up the front door behind him, and Kate allows her eyes to wander from the styled strands of his hair to the polished toes of his shoes while his back is turned. She had told him to dress comfortable, as casual as he preferred, but seeing him in attire that could so easily pass as formal has her wishing she had slipped into that blood red dress she had bought specifically for a night out with him. It still hung in her closet now, the garment bag gathering dust.

"You look beautiful, as always, Kate," he murmurs, turning towards her with his eyes bright blue and sparkling, and she resists the fierce desire to step into him, to cover the gentle grin of his mouth with the press of hers.

Too soon, far too soon.

"Thank you, Castle," she whispers back, holding her arm out to him and trying not to overflow with delight when he takes it. They have a long road ahead of them, but they're taking the first few steps, and she hopes that by the end of the night, a small portion of his faith in her will be renewed.

"You rented out the Angelika?" he gapes as she leads him inside the empty screening room, grateful for the dim lighting to hide her pride, her ridiculous smile while his eyes rove over the rows of empty seats with childlike wonder.

"No, I rented out one of the screening rooms for the next two hours," she corrects, rescuing his large bucket of popcorn from the crook of his elbow before it goes crashing to the floor. "Feel free to pick a seat."

"How did you even - Kate, you're not paying for this are you? Because I know this is important, but-"

"I didn't pay anything more than the normal price for tickets and snacks," she assures him, nudging him forward with her hip and following him down the aisle he chooses. "I know a guy and he owed me a favor."

Castle pauses to glance at her over his shoulder, a flash of intrigue and attraction rippling through his eyes in the darkness.

"You still haven't even told me what we're seeing tonight," he quips, easing down into one of the seats and accepting his popcorn back from her, assisting her in filling their cup holders with his soda and her bottled water.

"You'll see in a few minutes," she teases, taking a seat next to him and popping open her bag of gummy bears.

The lights dim, the screen comes to life, and Kate holds out her candy, smiling when he scoops up a handful of the gummy bears without hesitation and deposits them into his popcorn. As if this routine of theirs had never changed. She would never be a fan of the salty and sweet contrast like he was, but she was happy to return to aid in his juxtaposing food choices.

The opening credits begin to play and she laughs quietly at Castle's soft gasp, sneaks a peek from the corner of her eye to watch the knowledge fill his eyes and illuminate his face.

"Forbidden Planet?" he whispers despite it being only the two of them in the room. "You… you arranged for us to watch Forbidden Planet in one of the best theaters in the city?"

Kate shrugs and drops her gaze into her lap as the film score surrounds them, echoes through the room as the story on the screen begins to unfold.

"I know it seems a bit overboard, but I just wanted – I know I was with someone else the first time we did this, but I still remember coming here to see Forbidden Planet with you six years ago," she admits, the memory of that night flaring bright and lovely in her mind, the image of him mouthing the lines of dialogues in the flickering light of the theater and whispering amusing commentary into her ear every few minutes still tucked away in her mind and eliciting a smile. She had contemplated the idea of loving him even then and a small part of her wishes she could go back to that moment, lean over and thank him for all of it, go back and redo all of it right. "If the timing had been different, it could have been a nice first date, so I thought-"

"You turned it into our second first date," he finishes, an underlying awe lacing through his realization. "Kate, that's not overboard, it's… this is perfect. Thank you."

"No," she argues, braving a glance his way to see Castle's gaze intent on her, conflicted with want and hesitation that has her heart clenching. "Thank you for agreeing to come with me at all, for giving me another chance."

"I love you, Kate," he murmurs and it still makes her breath catch. "As long as you're willing to try, to put in the work for us, I am too."

Oh, she doesn't deserve him, and she knows it, but she's grateful. So grateful to be loved by him.

"More than willing," she agrees, sliding her hand into the open palm he places on the armrest between them, but her fingers stutter over the inside of his wrist when her eye catches the bare state of his left hand.

"You stopped wearing your ring," she breathes out before she can stop the observation from slipping free and the cracks in her heart that had slowly begun to seal immediately break apart, the fissures widening, deepening, and she shouldn't be upset, she has no right to be upset, but… he no longer wears his wedding ring.

"Kate-"

"It's okay." She withdraws her hand and jerks her gaze back towards the movie, attempting to focus on the screen through the blur of irrational tears. It isn't fair of her to express her sorrow, especially not in front of him, not now, but it hurts-

"Kate," he calls again on a sigh this time and she can feel his eyes on her, patient and waiting, but she shakes her head.

"I understand, Castle, really. Let's just-"

"Beckett," he demands this time, snatching her hand back from her lap and pulling it to his chest, where… where his wedding band hangs from a chain around his neck.

Her heart sinks and rejoices at the same time. He's wearing his ring in the same fashion she wore her dead mother's, a comfort and a reminder, an albatross.

"I'm - I'm not gone though," she rasps, coiling her fingers around the wedding band that had been well-hidden beneath his shirt, tracing her thumb over the word engraved along the inside of the white gold band.

Always.

"But you were," he argues softly, glancing down to her fingers and sighing at the seal of her palm to his chest, trapping the ring between them. "I lost you and I didn't want to let go so I… stole one of your coping mechanisms?"

And this is for the life that I lost.

"Castle," she whispers, chokes, and he covers the hand at his chest, soothes her with the stroke of his thumb back and forth over the path of her knuckles. "I'm so sorry, I'm-"

"I know you are," he assures her, his thumb pausing over her fourth knuckle, sweeping over the matching band that she has been unable to part with. "I know."

It isn't the most comfortable angle, but she lowers her head to his shoulder, lets him keep her hand against his chest, and shifts her stinging eyes to the movie still playing in front of them. Rick deflates beneath her, the waves of tension she had been able to sense dissipating beneath the surface of his skin, and he knots their fingers over his chest, lulls her into relaxation with the thud of his heartbeat beneath her fist.

"I never stopped wearing it," he adds, quieter, his voice so low she has to strain to catch them falling from his lips. "Couldn't."

"Thank you," she mumbles, knowing it's selfish, but she doesn't want him to stop wearing the proof of his commitment to her, his connection to her; she doesn't want him to get over her. To give up on her. "Sorry for ruining the first portion of our date."

Rick waves her off with his free hand. "Made it more interesting. And first portion?"

"Dinner reservations. Wasn't going to take you out and feed you nothing but popcorn and sugar, Castle."

"You're so good to me," he sighs, tugging a ragged laugh from her throat and squeezing her hand. "We're okay, Kate. Finish watching the movie with me."

She nods her head against his shoulder, ignoring the jab of the armrest into her side and inhaling the exquisite scent of his cologne, savoring the warm embrace of his hand around hers. Her lips curl into a smile as he begins to silently echo the lines of movie dialogue.