I always said i was not entirely happy with this chapter, so i fixed it up a little bit, and i feel more happy with it now:)

(the first section is a flashback btw)

I do not own castle.

"Always!"

He looked at her, disbelieving.

"How could you possibly have guessed that?" He whined at her, crossing his arms and huffing like a nine year old kid who hadn't gotten his way.

"What can I say, it's a gift!" she smirked at him, pleased to have won her round so quickly, she knew he would pick that word, it was their word.

They were getting nowhere with their murder investigation and she was becoming frustrated. Castle had finally convinced her to join him for a friendly game of hangman, however, after the first round it quickly turned into a heated competition between the two. A competition she had just won!

"Okay Castle, you had your fun, but we really need to get back to – "

She was cut off by her phone ringing, she answered with her usual,

"Beckett"

She smirked as she looked over at Castle, he was still sulking! Sore loser much? She thought as she watched his hand jerk across the murder board, erasing all evidence of his defeat.

"Alright got it, on our way" she hung up and turned her attention back to the grumpy writer.

"Castle, that was Espo, we have a lead, John Meyer, lives two blocks from our crime scene, was reported to have had an argument with the vic the night he was killed."

She had already shrugged her coat on, grabbing her keys and her phone she started towards the elevator.

"Wait for me!" he was still whining.

They arrived at the building, parked the car and, walked in a comfortable silence up the stairs to the third floor, apartment 3B, John Meyer's last known address. Beckett raised her right hand to knock on the door, her other hand drifting towards her gun out of habit. As her knuckles came down against the wooden door, it swung open slightly. She drew her weapon.

"Castle, stay behind me ok, and do not make a sound" she would have told him to stay out altogether, but four years of experience told her he would never listen anyway.

She entered the apartment, gun raised, slowly stalking forward, she heard a floorboard creek behind her, she rolled her eyes, Why doesn't he tap-dance his way through she thought to herself, not even attempting to hide the affectionate smile that played across her face.

She heard a louder footstep, one she knew was not Castle's, she spun on her heels as quickly as she could without overbalancing, but it wasn't fast enough, then the shot rang out.

She awoke with a start, her heart beating wildly out of control. She shook her head, as if hoping to shake the memory away. A pain in her neck told her she needed to shift position; she was still curled in a ball, her knees to her chest, her clammy hands gripping each other over her shins.

Breathing to her left and right told her that she was sitting in between two people, an arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder told her that it was Esposito sitting to her right, she guessed that his partner Ryan sat to her left.

She heard rather than felt her feet hit the floor as she gingerly lowered them away from her chest, her muscles protesting slightly at the movement. She wrapped her arms around her middle as if still trying to hold herself together.

She took note of her surroundings for the first time since opening her eyes. She was sitting on a very uncomfortable chair, the lights were extremely bright and the smell of disinfectant, sickness and death hung in the air; she was in a hospital.

She refused to let herself remember anymore. She refused to shed another tear. He did not need her to cry for him, he did not need Katie the frightened girlfriend right now, he needed her to be Detective Beckett, she needed herself to be Beckett.

She focused her eyes straight ahead and concentrated on her breathing, not allowing herself to be upset, not allowing her mind to wander, not allowing herself to think of losing him.

Next to her Esposito shifted, withdrawing his arm from where it lay draped over her shoulders.

"Beckett, you ok?" He said it softly, as if speaking too loudly would cause her to shatter into a million pieces.

She stared ahead, not hearing his question, not even caring; her eyes were distant and unseeing.

"Hey Kate, its me, its Javi, are you ok?" He was starting to worry now, she was not showing any sign of having heard him.

Her eyes remained fixed straight ahead. She was dead to the world and the world was dead to her.

Alexis and Martha had been called, it was not looking hopeful and they needed to be close by, if the worst were to happen, to say their goodbyes. They entered the waiting room, and were met by the two detectives and a broken woman.

"Oh darling! Come here come here you poor dear!" It was clear Martha Rodgers had been crying, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. She pulled Kate into a tight embrace, holding her close, seeking to gain comfort as well as provide it.

And still Kate didn't react. Her eyes remained distant, her expression vacant.

Martha looked deeply into the younger woman's eyes, shocked by what she saw. Nothing. There was not a trace of emotion anywhere on the young detectives face. Her eyes were open but it was clear that nobody was there. It was as if she couldn't exist if he didn't.

Behind Martha, Alexis had retreated to her own chair in the corner of the room, adopting a pose not unlike Kate had. Knees to chest, arms wrapped around herself, keeping it together. She made no attempt to hide her tears, wave after wave of them making their way down her face. She needed her dad, he was all she had besides Grams, and Grams needed him too!

Alexis watched as the adults talked, trying to learn as much as they could about her father's condition. All the while the person who could tell them sat alone, apart from the crowd, trapped in her own personal hell without him there to make it better.

In all the years Alexis had known Detective Beckett, she had come to respect her immensely, carrying around her own mother's murder could not have been easy for her and Alexis had admired her strength. Her faith in the Detective grew stronger as she watched her overcome her own shooting, and the loss of Captain Montgomery, a man who had been like a father to her. The Detective never failed to amaze Alexis with her continued show of bravery.

Now however, looking at her after recent events, she looked no less frightened and worried than Alexis. She too looked as though she was barely keeping it together.

Standing on shaky legs the girl walked over to where Kate still sat, unmoving and unseeing. She sat down next to her and remained silent for a while.

"Its ok to be scared, I am." Alexis's voice was shaking as she looked at Kate who did not respond.

She was not getting through to the detective, she took a breath and started again,

"I'm scared to lose him, I'm scared he won't be strong enough to come back to me and I am terrified of having to leave here without him!" the teen's voice was breaking now as a fresh wave of tears flooded her eyes, blurring her vision.

"He is my everything, no one understands how much I love and need him. No one." she paused before quietly adding "but you do." She was trying to elicit some sort of reaction from the older woman. Anything, anger, denial, acceptance, sadness, she wanted to let Kate know she understood.

Kate could hear the young Castle talking but she refused to give in to her emotions, her walls were going back up, back where they were supposed to be, back protecting her, making sure no one ever hurt her like this again.

"Kate you promised you would be there, please I cant lose you and my dad, you are the closest thing to a mother I've got!" She was sobbing now, a hint of anger beginning to show through her strained voice even as she lifted her arms, hands reaching for Kate.

Kate was fighting with all her might to remain unresponsive, she could not, would not, survive the pain of losing him if she allowed it to consume her. And then she saw those eyes. His eyes, full of pain, misery and unshed tears looking back at her from his young daughters terrified face.

And her walls came tumbling down around her.

She reached for the teen even as she reached for Kate, they held each other as close as they could and cried, releasing all their fears and tears onto the other.

"I am here for you Alexis, no matter what happens, I made a promise to your dad and I will stand by it, we will be ok, you and me, he would want us to be there for each other" Kate was finally able to stutter out, before succumbing to another wave of tears.

They sat like that for some time, crying, and just resting on each other, each drawing comfort from the other's presence. They were in their own fragile world, separating themselves from the harsh reality that awaited them, both unable to fathom the loss that seemed inevitable.

After what seemed like hours, they were jerked back to the reality of their situation by the approaching doctor, eyes weary, mouth set in a thin, grim line, he sis not resemble someone who came bearing good news.

Alexis froze.

"I'm right here, we are all here. I'm here" Kate was whispering in her ear, trying to reassure the girl as much as herself. She reached for Alexis's hand with her own, while holding out her other to Martha who in turn reached for Esposito's who's other arm was around Lanie, who had just recently arrived, she finally reached out to Ryan and they all braced themselves for the news.

"The family of Richard Castle?" The doctor enquired, scanning the room.

Kate urged Alexis forward, all the while moving along with her.

"That's us" She replied, motioning to their human chain, her voice wavered slightly, giving way to her emotions.

The doctor walked towards them, eyes fixed on the floor or the wall behind them, not meeting any of their gazes.

Kate felt Alexis begin to shake and leaning closer to her she whipered in her ear,

"I'm here sweetie, I wont leave you alone, I'm right here with you, I'll be here…

Always"

So i am sticking to it and trying to start and finish each chapter with the word "Always". Please let me know what you think of this chapter, and if you hate it please dont leave, the next one will be better i promise! PLEEEEEASE REVIEWWW! xxx