Chapter 3 is up guys. This is a Catelyn POV, and it's the longest of the 3 chapters. After the next update, things may slow down as I return to Uni, but I will try to update as quickly as I can.
Benjen's pov will be in chapter 4
A few people mentioned that Jon's real name is Aegon. I know the show did this, but I honestly don't buy it and in the books I'm 99% sure his name will be Aemon or Jaehaerys and not the name of Rhaegar's oldest son.
Catelyn was woken by a faint cry coming from the crib next to her bed, and she let out a frustrated sigh. She loved Robb more than she had ever loved anyone before, but he was a tiring babe, particularly during the night, and it had not been long since she had fed him. She found it hard to believe he wanted to be fed again so soon.
She removed herself from the warmth of her covers and leaned over the crib, but to her surprise, Robb was fast asleep and didn't look like he could be disturbed by anything. Instead, it was Jon who was fussing. His cries weren't demanding, just a bit of a whimper, but it still surprised Catelyn as Jon rarely made any sort of fuss besides when he was hungry, and he had been taken to Wylla at the same time she had fed Robb.
Ned had returned to Winterfell with Jon around a week ago, and since then Catelyn has formed a bit of a bond with the tiny babe. He was a sweet child, as sweet as a babe could be, and he made Catelyn smile. Robb was the most precious child she had ever met, but her heart had made space for her nephew in a short space of time.
He stared up at her now, his tears making his violet eyes sparkle and Catelyn smiled at him. He was a rather handsome child. She was sure that when he is a man, the combination of his bright, beautiful eyes and the mop of unruly dark hair will make many young maidens swoon. She had never met Lyanna, but having met Ned, Benjen and Brandon, Catelyn guessed Lyanna shared the same looks, looks that had clearly been transferred to her son. Catelyn had to berate herself. Jon is Lyanna's nephew. Never think of him as her son. Ned had slipped up on a few occasions, referring to Jon by his true name, Aemon. Luckily, those slip-ups were in private, with only her or Benjen, but after only a week of the babe being named Jon Snow, it was hard for Ned to remember to call him by the name they had decided on.
Thinking of her husband made her turn around to look where he was asleep on the bed. Things were still slightly awkward between them. Even though they had been wedded, bedded and now shared a son, they didn't truly know much about each other. It seemed that neither of them knew where to start getting to know each other, so they simply bonded over their love for Robb.
It had surprised Catelyn to see her husband so attentive to their son. She had always been told that men had very little need for babes, and rarely paid their children much attention until they were old enough how to learn to swing a sword or rule. But Ned had been that desperate to help her with Robb that he slept in her chambers. Of course, he had his own chambers not far from hers, but he told her he had already missed so much of Robb's early life that he didn't want to miss a moment more, so he stayed with her during the nights, often waking as she did to feed Robb, marvelling in his son's growth.
Catelyn became lost in her thoughts and a loud whimper from Jon reminded her of why she had gotten out of bed. Jon had now reached a hand up towards her, so she picked him up gently, careful not to wake Robb and sat down on the edge of the bed. She rocked him gently, shushing him and quietly singing to him, hoping that he would quickly go back to sleep so she herself could sleep before Robb woke again, demanding to be fed.
Jon did quieten down quicker than she expected and she spent a few minutes simply looking at him. Not for the first time since Jon had arrived here, Catelyn lamented how unfair life was. This baby in her arms should be on the Iron Throne right now, instead he was forced to live a bastard's life. He would be truly loved at Winterfell, but there were still things he couldn't do as a bastard. He could never wear the Stark direwolf, he could never eat at the high table with guests, he could never learn the ways of ruling as Robb will. But as Ned had said, the main thing is that Jon is safe, and she would make sure he knows his Aunt loves him, so perhaps the other things would not matter to him as much.
Catelyn rose and returned Jon to his crib, but as she turned away from him to return to bed, he began whimpering again. She wondered why Jon was so fussy tonight, and decided she would just leave him in the hope that his whimpers would cease and he'd return to sleep. But the lack of attention meant Jon started to wail, a cry unlike anything she had ever heard from him, so she rushed back to the crib and picked him up, hoping to get him to remain quiet.
"You are very fussy tonight, aren't you?" she whispered, careful not to wake the two other occupants in the room. Within minutes of being back in her arms, Jon had stopped crying once more, but started up again as she walked over to the crib. Sighing, Catelyn realised she would have to keep Jon in her arms until he fell asleep.
She returned to bed with Jon and sat with her back against the headboard and brushed her hand against the hairs on Jon's head.
"Just for tonight," she said to no-one in particular and tried to make herself comfortable. She would keep Jon in her arms until he fell asleep, and then return him to the crib and try to sleep herself. Her plan didn't quite work out, and she fell to sleep herself, cradling Jon in her arms.
The next thing Catelyn knew was her eyes opening and struggling to adjust to the sunlight streaming through the windows. She still held Jon tightly against her chest, and when she looked down, he was fast asleep, producing tiny little snores. She casted her eyes to the crib and panicked slightly as she realised that Robb wasn't in it.
"He woke a few minutes ago. I got him to be quiet so he didn't wake either of you up." Catelyn followed the voice to see her husband in the armchair by the window with Robb in his lap, showing their son the light snows outside. "Looks like you had a guest last night."
She smiled at him. "He cried when I put him back in the crib. I didn't have the heart to leave him like that." He laughed slightly at her and returned his attention to Robb, making the babe smile.
"Do you think he knows who I am yet?" Ned asked her. He had spent but a week with Robb, but it was plain to see the love he bore him already.
"It's entirely possible. You've hardly left him since you met him." The mood in the room turned slightly sombre as Ned looked to the child in her arms. Jon will never know his parents, she thought, and she knew Ned was thinking the same, his real parents or his fake ones.
"There's no need for Robb to come as well today. I've asked Nan to come and get him before we go down. I know you probably want to be with him, but it would mean a lot if you could hold Jon while we are down there." He was referring to the burials which was to take place today. The stonemason had completed the statues of Lord Rickard, Brandon and Lyanna, and so it was time for their funerals, to lay them to rest. As Brandon's son, Jon would have to be there.
"Will Old Nan not want to be there?" Catelyn had grown fond of the old woman since she had arrived at Winterfell. She felt like an outsider here in the North, but Old Nan had nothing but comfort for her, understanding how difficult it was for a southern girl to adapt to the harsh North. Catelyn knew that the woman had tended to her husband and his siblings as babes, as well as Lord Rickard himself when he was a child. She expected that she would want to see them buried.
"It's hard for her. Besides Benjen and I, no one loved them more. We've all been like children or grandchildren to her. I don't particularly want to go, so I can't blame her really." Ned's grey eyes looked like they wanted to cry, but she knew he wouldn't. In the short time she had known him, she had come to realise that although his face is what others describe as frozen, many emotions can be seen in his eyes if one would care to look.
"I will be there. Anything I can do to make today easier." Catelyn said softly. Ned nodded at her, and she could see the gratitude in his face, before he returned to looking out of the window and she could only try to guess what he was looking for. She felt sorrow for him, and he looked his age now, in truth he was barely a man. A young man who had lost almost everything he knew, inherited a castle that wasn't meant for him, married his brother's bride, and then rode to war with the tiny hope of saving his sister, only to have her die in his arms, Catelyn thought, sadly. Her heart truly went to him, and she would truly do anything to help him, and his brother, make this difficult time a little easier.
It was the first time that Catelyn had entered the crypts beneath Winterfell, and she found them both eerie and fascinating at the same time. She walked with Jon in her arms and passed the tombs of the Kings of Winter, many of which she recognised from the stories and legends: Brandon the Builder and King Rodrik Stark; King Jon Stark and Theon the Hungry Wolf; Torrhen Stark, the King Who Knelt and Lord Cregan Stark, who ruled during the Dance of Dragons.
They made it to where the bodies would be laid to rest and Catelyn took a good look at the statues. Lord Rickard had been more solemn than his middle son on the few occasions that she met him but the stone made him look even more so. She had heard that Lyanna was beautiful, full of life and headstrong and as she had never met her good-sister, this statue would be her only point of reference. As with the statue of her father, Lyanna's statue seemed to be no justice to the young girl, taken far too soon. It made her seem sad where she had clearly been a bright light, and that upset Catelyn.
The memories she had of Brandon were of him laughing and smiling, always being heard before he was seen, but the Brandon before her now was sad, plain and just a shadow of the man she had thought she was to marry. She hadn't loved Brandon. She had certainly thought him handsome, charming and had imagined her life with him as her husband, but that was not to be as he was murdered too soon by a madman. A fate no man deserves. Strangled trying to rescue his father...It made Catelyn ill to think of what happened in the Throne Room.
But she found herself thinking that had she had the choice, she would still marry his brother, a man who was still in many ways a stranger to her. She may not know her husband too well, or love him yet, but he had given her Robb, and she would not trade Robb for any man.
Catelyn stood behind Ned and Benjen as the bones of Brandon and Lyanna were placed in the tomb. She had come to realise that everything about the North, from the people to their Gods, was different, more simple and quiet. The Tullys had their own specific funeral rites, where the dead are cremated as they float along the Trident on a small boat. Catelyn could still remember when her father had lit alight the remains of her mother on a boat with an arrow. She remembered how beautiful the boat had looked burning on the Trident across the sunset.
This was a silent ceremony though. No one spoke at all; even little Jon was silent in her arms. She could see that Ned's face was set in stone and all his emotion was on the inside, but she saw a single tear run down Benjen's face though he stayed strong and watched as the funeral proceeded.
No words were exchanged the entire ceremony and, before she knew it, it was over. It seemed strange to have a funeral and not say any words to commemorate the dead, but it also seemed somewhat peaceful and very in tradition with what she knew about the North. As she turned to leave, she caught a glance at the empty spaces next to the newly filled tombs and it filled her with dread. Robb would one day reside there, though she prayed and hoped more than anything that that day was many, many years away, it still made her shiver inside. She left the crypts gladly, eager to remove where her thoughts were headed.
As they left the crypts, she saw Benjen head in the direction of the Godswood, a place she hadn't yet visited but knew she would have to. Mayhaps I will take Robb and visit Ned the next time he goes. Thinking of Robb and where her thoughts in the crypts had led her, she was keen to see her baby boy and hold him close. She approached Ned who was stood watching Benjen as he walked off.
"My Lord, would you mind taking Jon while I go to fetch Robb from Old Nan? I fear I cannot hold two babes at once," she said, trying to lighten the mood slightly.
"I will fetch Robb, My Lady. I will meet you in your chambers." He was slightly sharp, but Catelyn couldn't blame him, he had just had to bury his family, but she did as he bid and returned to her chambers with Jon.
Even Jon had been in a sombre mood, almost as if he could sense they were burying his mother. Father, a voice in her head corrected her. She placed him in the crib and tickled him, trying to evoke a laugh from him, and it worked. A baby's laugh was the most beautiful sound in the world, and it made her smile to think that Jon's first laugh was for her.
After playing with Jon for several minutes and managing to get him to sleep, the door opened and Ned walked in, Robb in his arms. He sat in the same place as she had found him this morning, looking out the same window. He was very clearly mourning and she left him alone. He would want time to himself and she wasn't going to begrudge him that.
The silence had lasted for so long that Catelyn was surprised when Ned spoke up. "I am sorry for being curt earlier. It has not been an easy day, but that is no excuse for me to be sharp with you. You have been a great help, My Lady." He didn't look at her as he spoke, his attention was solely focused on Robb. She went to speak but recognised that he wanted to say something else, only he was struggling to find the words, so she remained silent and waited for him.
"I've been thinking of what would happen if Robert ever came to Winterfell. I fear he'd take one look at Jon and see through our Ashara Dayne lie. If he ever found out, he'd kill Jon without hesitation, and me too." She could see the conflict in his eyes. Robert was his best friend, and someone who was probably closer to him than Brandon was, but he was also a threat to his nephew. "I've had a recurring dream the last few nights, nightmares."
Catelyn knew that. Two nights ago, she had woken to Ned thrashing about, mumbling and sweating in the night. She'd woken him up and his heavy breathing filled the room as he adjusted to reality instead of the dream that had gripped him. She had asked him what troubled him, but he told her he couldn't remember. She hadn't believed him, but it wasn't her place to press so she laid back down and they both fell asleep.
"It's the Targaryen children and Elia. I keep seeing their bodies." Ned's voice was little more than a whisper, his tone haunted, and his eyes were distant, as if he was seeing the image now. "They were that broken they were near unrecognisable, especially Aegon. His head was so smashed in it could've been anyone. Rhaenys was dragged from underneath her bed and stabbed multiple times. And Elia had been raped and then butchered. I've never seen anything like that, even on the battlefield, and it haunts me that Robert had no problem with it. But in my dreams, when Tywin unravels the cloaks, it's not Elia, Rhaenys and Aegon, it's Jon…and you and Robb."
His confession took her breath away slightly, nothing could've prepared her for that. He looked at her now, and she saw the fear in his eyes. He rose from where he was sat and placed Robb in his crib, spending a few minutes just staring at his son and then he turned and knelt in front of her.
"If Robert ever finds out, there's nothing that can be done for me or Jon," he interrupted his thoughts to take her hand and look at her in the eye, "but I swear to you nothing will happen to Robb. I'd never let it. He won't be a victim of Robert's wrath if it ever comes this way, I swear it." Tears pricked Catelyn's eyes, grateful for her husband's words, and she hugged him, thanking him.
They had both lain in bed for a while, but neither could sleep. She had kept her eye on the crib the entire night, filled with more protective instincts even though they were safe in her chambers. It had been quiet for a while, but Ned's voice pierced the silence.
"Do you think she suffered?" She turned over, surprised at his question and raised an eyebrow. "My father and Brandon did, there's no doubt about it considering how they died. But Lyanna…I'd like to think that she was happy, even though her happiness tore the country apart. I'd like to think that she wasn't in pain, that she didn't suffer."
Catelyn knew all too well that dying in childbirth was a death involving suffering. She cast her mind to her mother and the baby brother who died with her. She could still hear her mother's screams, even all these years later. They had called Robb's birth an easy one, but even thinking about it made Catelyn almost feel the pain. It was unlike any pain she could've imagined, and she dreaded to think what Jon's birth would've been like for Lyanna. But her husband was clearly in pain, and needing some support, so she wasn't going to tell him the truth about the horrors of childbirth.
"I'm sure she didn't suffer. And her last hours were with her son. I'm sure that's the way she would've wanted to go." Her voice was tender, and she wondered if he knew it was a lie. But he seemed grateful for it, and kissed her hand.
"Thank you, Catelyn. You are a comfort." She could tell he wanted to say more, but didn't and Catelyn smiled. Maybe I can come to love this northern husband of mine.