CHAPTER THREE – MISCONCEPTIONS: Awkward Positions of Two Kinds

"You're real annoying, you know that, brat?" Sanosuke frowned.

"So? What are you going to do about it? Hurt an injured kid?"

"I'm awful close to it . . ." Sano growled menacingly at the boy before him. "I don't think people would miss a brat like you too much."

"Like you've got the guts," the kid sneered. "Besides, my name's not 'brat.' It's Isamu. Isamu Nakagawa."

"It doesn't matter to me, brat," the older man emphasized the word spitefully, "just as long as you stop your bellyaching enough for me finish fixing this stupid bandage. Dammit, isn't this the Fox's job? That woman's gonna pay . . ." the last part was muttered as he snatched Isamu's leg rather violently and began rewrapping it in clean dressings after smothering the laceration in heaps of gauze. The boy bit his lip as the salve began to sting, tilting his head so that his dark strands of hair would cover the side of his face that was toward the older man. The area around the cut was red an inflamed, mostly due to the boy's persistence in scratching it, and apparently causing much pain to the little boy, which, of course, Sano ignored. "How the hell does a kid get his Achilles' tendon cut anyway?" the older man finished the wrapping quickly.

Isamu snatched his leg back. "Like that's any of your business. Where's Doctor Megumi? How come she's not the one doing this?"

"She said something about finishing up some medicines and making food," Sanosuke stood up. "And you should be grateful I did what I did for you, Brat, 'cause normally I'm the one causing injuries, not fixing them up." He turned to exit out the door.

"Oh, yeah, I'm ever so grateful you almost tore my leg off . . ." the boy said sarcastically. "Next time why don't you make sure you don't hit a guy when he's d-" his voice stopped suddenly.

Sanosuke looked back over his shoulder. "What? What is it, kid?" he sounded impassive and exasperated at the same time.

"What's with the 'bad' logo?" Isamu's finger jabbed out, pointing to the fighter-for-hire.

"Not your business, kid," Sanosuke growled impatiently.

"What," Isamu sneered, "You get branded by the police or something?"

"Tch. Don't know how close you are," Sanosuke shoved his hands in his pockets. "Those imperialist pigs betrayed my squad and gave us this for all the work we did helping them. Hypocrites."

"Sekihoutai . . .?" Isamu scanned through his memory. "You were in the Sekihoutai? Weren't you kind of young then?"

"I did my part and fought my own way through it. Besides, aren't you a little young to know about stuff like that, anyway?"

"Not too young to know about the crap way the government works."

Sano's eyes widened for a flash before he put his apathetic expression back on. "Yeah, well, maybe we can agree on something after all," he grumbled. Sanosuke did not look back when he left the room.

The door closed and Isamu was alone, staring at his wounded ankle and the discarded bloody bandages. His eyes still downcast, his other foot manipulated the bandages across the floor as his hair once again fell over one side of his face. He sighed silently and crossed his arms over his knees. Looking at his handiwork on the floor before him, the bandages spelled out the question on his lips.

". . . Evil . . .?"

"Complain about my cooking again, Yahiko, and I'll make sure I hit you with more than just a wooden sword!"

"You'd have to catch me first," Yahiko deftly dodged another one of Kaoru's swipes at his head as he stuffed his face with more rice. With a smirk he added unnecessarily, "and with your weight I doubt you could, you fat raccoon!"

Kaoru's face turned very red very fast. "Oh, that's it!"

Kenshin calmly ate his supper while the other two at the table proceeded to beat each other senseless. Oddly enough, it seemed fairly quiet to the humble ex-manslayer, despite the routine fight ensuing. The red head silently munched a few more bites of food, contemplating this new development. Sure, it was nice to have more food on the table with Sano not around, but without the guy, it was up to Kenshin to try and separate the Kaoru and Yahiko.

"Miss Kaoru," Kenshin leaned over the table and plucked the girl from the fray by her kimono and sat her down at her designated place at the table, "it's easier to eat when you're closer to the food, that it is."

Kaoru blushed at Kenshin, pausing a little before she nodded with a, "Right."

Yahiko, who had ceased fighting also, seeing as how it did not work quite as well when there was no one with whom to fight, plopped himself back down at his seat. Looking over at Kenshin, he could tell that he had something on his mind, but to his credit, the boy did not say anything and decided to munch while waiting for the older man to begin speaking.

Sure enough, Kenshin set down his chopsticks softly and looked up at Kaoru.

"Miss Kaoru, where did you take Sano today? And why hasn't he returned yet?"

Yahiko swallowed his food. "Yeah, I mean, we know you sent him over to Dr. Gensai's, but what exactly did you do to the guy?"

An uncharacteristically evil smile spread across Kaoru's face. "Oh, nothing too bad . . ."

"You're still not telling us, Miss Kaoru . . ." Kenshin narrowed his eyes slightly at her.

"Well," Kaoru smiled and put her hand behind her head sheepishly. "It's kind of silly, but I remembered how much Sanosuke really hates to be around Megumi, so I figured I could punish him for free-loading here by making him work over there with her, since he hates work as well. Of course, I think I might've indirectly been punishing Megumi too, but that's a small price to pay to teach that big bum a lesson."

Yahiko and Kenshin simply stared at her.

"What?" she asked, confused at their silence.

The two toppled over onto their backs and laughed until Kaoru was red once again, only this time from embarrassment.

"What the heck is so funny?" she shouted to the two boys.

Kenshin wiped his eyes which had started watering at the strength of his laughter. "Y-You really think that Sanosuke and Miss Megumi h-hate each other?"

"Well yeah," Kaoru said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Why else would they always yell at each other and fight all the time?"

"You really don't know anything, do you, Ugly?" Yahiko grinned.

"Hey!" Kaoru whacked him on the head, giving him a small red lump. "Why don't you guys be helpful for once and tell me what I'm missing here?"

Kenshin shook his head with a small smile. "I'm sorry, Miss Kaoru," he stood and turned toward the door, "but that information isn't ours to tell, is it Yahiko?"

Yahiko looked confused for a minute as to why he should not tell the Raccoon Girl, but thought about how much fun it would be to leave her begging for the answer to her question and decided to follow Kenshin's lead. "Right. You'll just have to figure it out for yourself," he chuckled, "and at that rate, I guess you'll never get it . . ."

The wanderer slid open the door and exited with the Kamiya Kasshin Style's first apprentice in tow, both of them laughing softly as they left.

"But . . . but what don't I get? Why don't I get it?" Kaoru stood up indignantly. "Hey, come back here, you guys! What don't I get?"

The moonlight trickled though the translucent paper covering the shoji, just barely illuminating the main room of the clinic. The warm night air drifted through the doors, parted slightly for the summer, and swirled languidly around the room, carrying the scent of summer nights, worn tatami, and . . .

Ohagi? Sanosuke's stomach rumbled. Sure enough, there was a tray of rice, fish, and Megumi's specialty food, ohagi. Not bothering to light any lamps, Sano simply followed the scent of the food, inhaled it completely within seconds, and continued on his way, licking his fingers as he went (which probably was not a good idea, since he had just finished putting gauze over Isamu

's injured ankle and the residue still remained on his hands). Sanosuke made a face and mentally noted that he would listen when people told him to wash his hands before eating, even though he would most likely forget by tomorrow.

"Now where's this bed I bargained for?" he asked himself as he left the main building of the clinic into the open air of the compound. It was not quite as large as the Kamiya Dojo, but basically the same set-up. The dark-tiled roofs over the buildings glistened in the night, surrounding a small garden where, Sanosuke guessed, Megumi and Doctor Gensai grew medicinal herbs. Across the way, a hazy light trickled through the plants in the centre, Sano just barely able to see the shadows of the wooden supports of the shoji. The cicadas hummed a soothing night-song and the slight breeze blanketed him in lulling warmth as he gave a large yawn and walked over to the lit building. He slid open the door.

And found a nearly naked Megumi sitting on the floor.

Megumi stared with wide eyes at Sanosuke.

Sanosuke stared with wide eyes at Megumi.

"YOU PERVERT!" she quickly recovered, the mortification clear on the doctor's face in her blush as well as the volume of her scream. Holding what had been her discarded kimono in one hand and using it in an attempt to cover herself, she proceeded to hurl her wooden sandals at the intruding man.

Sano managed to dodge the first, but the second hit him square on the forehead. "SHIT!" he shouted just loud enough for the entire clinic to hear. "For a woman you sure throw hard!"

Megumi ignored the semi-compliment and quickly put on her nightclothes, a process she had been in the middle of before the fighter-for-hire had interrupted. Fastening closed her nightdress with a pale blue sash, she stood up and managed to look intimidating, despite her vantage point just under his nose. "Do you have anything else to say for yourself before I kill you, Sanosuke?"

"Is it too late to say, 'I didn't mean to?'" he rubbed the mark on his forehead that was beginning to match the shade of his head-band.

"Yes."

"Well, just so you know, I didn't come over here to burn my eyes with the sight of you," Sano shoved his hands in his pockets, "I just wanted to know where my room was. You did say I could have a bed three nights a week. I'm using one of those nights now."

"Don't you have your own house to go to instead of pestering me and Kaoru for a place to stay?"

"Sure I do, but the company here is so nice," he dripped sarcasm.

Megumi tossed her hair in an agitated manner. "Fine," she stood, "your room is this way. Follow me."

The two of them walked down to the end of the outer porch, Megumi storming all the way with an exasperated glare in her eyes and Sano trailing behind her with his eyes low, though whether they were looking at the floor, staring at Megumi's rear, or simply heavy with sleep could not be discerned. Megumi slid the shoji open, revealing a spartanly plain room. Sano stepped in, surmising his quarters with a quirked brow.

"You expect me to sleep in this box of a room?"

"What, do thugs actually have taste now?" Megumi was obviously tired of playing butler for the ungrateful man and wanted nothing more than to curl up in her futon and sleep.

"Just because you see me out on the street all the time doesn't mean I like to live there."

Megumi rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Set up your own bed. I'm going back to sleep."

"Where is it?"

"Haven't you ever prepared your own futon before?" the assistant doctor's patience was wearing thin. "Or are you so much of a baby that Kaoru has to do everything for you?"

Sanosuke glared. "Look, I'm new to this place. Give me a break."

"Anything to keep you quiet," Megumi muttered as she brushed past him and pulled out the bed in question, purposely angling herself as she squatted to pull it out so that her bottom would be facing away from Sano's eyes. Sanosuke whistled, looking off in another direction and pretending not to care.

Megumi unrolled the futon with a snap in the air and let it fan out onto the floor. "Here," she said, rubbing her eyes to keep her awake long enough to make it back to her room.

"Thanks, I guess," he said, kneeling down onto the bed and pulling off his gi, not even waiting for Megumi to leave the room.

She frowned in disdain at his lack of modesty, turning up her nose haughtily as she sauntered to the door. However, with her nose turned up like so, she was unable to see Sanosuke's long legs sticking out behind him as he knelt.

"Ooof!" she tripped gracelessly, her body now draped over the fighter-for-hire and all of her previous attempts to keep attention from her rear made utterly futile by the position she was in now. And, of course, the couple was now tangled up in the sheets and Sano's white jacket.

Sanosuke twisted himself around so he could yell at the fallen doctor to her face, but found himself uncomfortably close to her butt. Nevertheless, he shouted, "Dammit lady, why can't you watch where you're going?"

"Ugh, you think I actually meant for this to happen?" she tried to get up on all fours, but only succeeded in getting them even more twisted into the futon.

"Wait, don't go on my lap!"

"I wouldn't if you'd just—hey! Don't put that in there!"

"I wouldn't have to if I could just get up!"

"I'm trying to help you, but I can't until you get your hand away from those!"

All of this (and more, since the grunts and groans of their struggle to arise were quite vociferous) could be heard through the shoji doors and into the night and, unfortunately, into the ears of a very tired Suzume. The child yawned and rubbed the sleep out of one eye with a languid hand as she shuffled toward the room at the end of the building.

"Could you not put your hand there?"

"Where else am I supposed to put it when you just stick them in my face?"

"If I move down lower is it better?"

"Yeah, maybe . . . I can . . . get . . . u-up . . ."

As Suzume approached the room the moans and other sounds increased in volume almost in accordance with her tiny footsteps. An uncharacteristic frown drew itself upon her face as she reached the door, her eyes dull with drowsiness and her normally energetic actions slowed to a dead march. Even so, she managed to swiftly open the shoji door.

The couple paused immediately at the intrusion . . . and in a most awkward position, to say the least. Though the sheets covered most of how the two were situated, the tell-tale shapes beneath it showed that Megumi's leg was indeed slung over Sanosuke's right shoulder with her head facing the opposite direction, and while he tried to keep his head away from her rear, in order to do so, he had to thrust his arm over her back (and between her legs, no less). To make matters worse, not only did Sanosuke have nothing visible on his top, but Megumi's nightdress had begun to loosen.

"Auntie Megumi," Suzume said in a dull, sleepy voice, "if you want to play kiss-kiss with Uncle Sano, you should be quieter. Some of us want to sleep."

And with that the door slammed closed and the girl shuffled back to bed.

". . ." the couple said simultaneously before instantly pushing the other away and landing with a thud on opposite sides of the room.

Megumi was the first to stand as she firmly grasped the front of her nightdress closed, the blush on her face still present. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but, at a loss as to what to say, she opted to leave with a hurried (yet still spiteful), "Good night," to go catch up and explain to Suzume that there definitely was not any "kiss-kiss" going on in that room.

"Hey, Fox, wait!" Sano called out just as she stepped out the door.

"What do you want now?" her tone was exasperated.

"I didn't know you're experimenting in Western fashion," He grinned slyly, lifting up his hand and swinging something light and frilly on the end of his index finger. "I think you left something in my bed . . ."

Smack!

"Sanosuke Sagara, if I ever catch you going anywhere near my panties again, I swear you won't be able to move for the next week!"

"Yeah, right," Sano said, trying to ignore the pain that flared up in a large, red hand-print on the side of his face. "The day you beat me is the day Kenshin loses a fight."

Megumi did not hear the last comment as she slammed the door closed as hard as she could. Too tired to give chase to Suzume immediately, she rubbed her temples in an exasperated manner, having half a mind to go back into the room and hit the fighter-for-hire again. Deciding it really was not worth her time, she finally began her trek back to the other end of the porch, where she hoped she could finally escape that awful, lecherous, trouble-making, drinking, free-loader of a man. Somehow, she did not think it would be that easy.

"I swear, that Rooster-head is incorrigible," she mumbled.

Author's Note: There have been some comments on Kaoru's cluelessness concerning Sanosuke and Megumi's feelings. Because this takes place early on in the series, and there is little, if anything, to indicate that Kaoru is concerned about or even notices how Megumi and Sanosuke interact with each other except for their bickering, I have decided to place her realization here, just before the arrival and Saito and the Kyoto arc. It is consistently Yahiko who points out Sanosuke and Megumi's arguments as repressed feelings and jokes about them being a couple. Thus, I do not think it far-fetched to have Kaoru first considering the possibility that the two may have feelings for each other even as late as between episode 27 and 28. Up to the Kyoto arc (and through it, it seems) she is mostly concerned with Megumi's relationship to Kenshin. It is then, perhaps, a successful feat of misdirection on Megumi's part that Kaoru has not considered matching Megumi and Sanosuke, rather than a lack of perception on Kaoru's part.