Well today was what one could call entertaining, we walked into English only to find ourselves with a substitute teacher. We knew this could only go one way and that was the bad way. Well, bad for her. We found the whole thing hilarious of course, as we do most things. It all started when we brought out the nerf guns. Nine times out of ten, we keep them hidden in order to retain them for future battles; nerf guns simply don't belong in a cupboard with other confiscated things. They might get lonely. Anyway, we were hyped up on Alice's magical cookies, which he'd been baking all night, and figured it could do no harm. We sought out the Knave's blonde head and aimed, hoping to maybe make him jump or something. Unfortunately the teacher was the ancient crabby kind with a face like a mouldy grape. She was also incredibly quick and noticed our guns the second they were out of our pockets. She screeched at us – no really, she sounded like an eagle, it was freaking awesome/terrifying - and marched up to our desks.
"Evan and Ethan Brightman, isn't it" She glared, wrinkles lining her forehead as she frowned.
We just smiled at her, knowing it would piss her off even more, and it did.
"The staff warned me about you two. "Watch out for the Brightman twins" they said" Cue more smiles, followed by an angry, harsh crack and she whipped a ruler on the table, barely missing our knuckles. She started shouting unintelligible bullshit, getting far too close to our faces.
This of course was outlandish. We jumped up brandishing our nerf guns before shooting her several times: once in the neck, twice in the back, one in each arm and one in the foot. She screamed again, and we ran to the front, grabbing the stack of lined paper, marked homework and today's worksheets, flinging them in the air, laughing as they fell down like oversized confetti.
We successfully turned her lesson into a riot, before shoving her in a supply cupboard and pushing the heavy mahogany desk in front of it, shattering her chances of escape. In that moment, we were the heroes of that classroom. There were cries of "God bless the Tweedles!" and someone who sounded suspiciously like the White Rabbit shout "Well, Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee finally did something productive!"
Or course what with all the chaos it didn't take long for the Dormouse to hurt himself. This time he gracelessly tripped over a chair leg – one laying three feet from the rest of the seat – and with no Shane to catch him, he howled out in pain. Now remember, Dormouse is a Warbler, meaning he's got a set of lungs and a half. So naturally, someone heard and that someone just had to be our beloved Windsor prefect, The Queen of Hearts, didn't it?
Well he came running and declared us under "Dorm arrest" So he basically wants to lock us in our room for the week, only allowed out for lessons and food.
Is he really that stupid or does he want us to put him back in hospital again?
Well this turned out way too long anyway so I guess we'll leave it here...
Evan and Ethan