AN: I've realized the past two have been written from the perspective of Shiro and his affection for Allura but I obviously don't think it's one way. So here's one from Allura's, after Shiro disappears. Also, the song is definitely about someone's lover leaving them and the narrator wanting them to stay, but there were some parts that I thought totally applied to Shallura. This is something like a sister one-shot to the first one, Powerless. Anyways, enjoy.
"One Love" by Marianas Trench
…
Coran says that she looks pale and that she should eat more, that he knows it's hard but they were doing everything that they could to find him. And she knew that; she believed them. But it was still hard.
She couldn't look in the mirror some days, afraid of what she'd see. She was afraid of the tired and sad blue eyes that would stare back at her, the ones she used to remind herself of her father's strength. Now, they were full of tears and darkened by sleepless nights. The nights she could sleep, albeit a mere hour or two, she dreamed of him and how he came back to them. Back to her. Sometimes she thought she could hear him, especially when she wandered to the Black Lion's hangar. His voice sounded especially loud and clear inside the lion, though she couldn't understand what he was saying. She thought she was going insane, but at that point, she couldn't care if she was or wasn't.
Allura wandered the halls in feeble attempts to clear her mind the nights she was especially restless, haunted by the explosion of Zarkon's armor and the disappearance of her Black Paladin. She hoped that if she walked the castle enough maybe she would run into him like she usually did. Maybe they could sit down and stare at the stars again and she could muster the courage to tell him what she really thought. How she really felt about him.
She remembered a night when they could afford to sit around and talk to one another. This was early in their friendships and before she knew as much as she did about her beloved paladins. This was before she developed feelings for him. She recalled Lance asking if Shiro could remember a time where he didn't have his Galra arm, if he had ever experienced phantom limb.
"What is that?" Allura had asked, curious and leaning forward.
"It's when an amputee – somebody who's lost a limb – can still feel like their limb is there," Pidge answered. Allura had pursed her lips, perplexed with this knowledge.
"There is no way to reattach the limb?" She asked. With the cryopods, the Alteans had the ability to reattach limbs right away if treated quickly. She never knew anybody with a missing limb because they had always worked swiftly to treat it. That had been an interesting thought for Allura, unsure of what it would be like to be missing a limb.
Shiro had laughed, amused and unaffected by their talk of his missing arm after it was the topic of conversation for quite a while. He flexed his Galra arm and looked at her. She could remember the twinkle in his eyes as he smiled and she knew that that was the beginning.
"No, it can't be reattached unfortunately. I don't even know where my actual arm is," Shiro said half-jokingly although they all knew it was true. "I think there was a time I had phantom pain but I honestly can't remember."
Allura didn't know what it was like to feel phantom pain nor could she comprehend how it could happen at that moment in time, but she understood now. She understood completely now that Shiro was missing and there was no amount of time that could be spent in a cryopod to bring him back.
Throughout her life, the one she had before she became devoted to defeating Zarkon, Allura knew love once. Or at least she thought she did. She was a princess and one day she would be queen. She was meant to take a husband to help rule over her kingdom. There were many proposals and betrothal offers, but none of them were accepted. Her father was adamant in making sure that Allura liked her suitor instead of betrothing her to somebody formidable by royal standards.
There were a few men she could remember meeting who she found interest in. There was the Prince of Prisnov in particular, whose name she could hardly recall now, though she could see his bright red eyes clearly in her mind. He always smelled sweet and smiled at her kindly, taking her hand and kissing it every time they met. Allura remembered feeling a warm swell in her chest and would have married him if the war had not begun. She thought she knew what love was then with this Prisnovian prince, but those feelings did not compare to what she felt for Shiro.
She thought then that what if every being in the known universe was destined to one love? She remembered her mother and father, the way they looked at each other lovingly. The way her father looked the day she died and the way the light in his eyes were never the same. She remembered going to many weddings when she was younger, the vows of each person involved – "I will love you until the ends of time and take nobody else if you are to leave me first."
What if they were all destined to one, true love? And she thought suddenly then, that she couldn't waste her time mourning. He was not dead, just gone.
He couldn't have been dead – there was a hollow feeling, yes, with not seeing him but it did not match the hollowness her mother left when she died. Allura knew it deep down that he was not dead; he had to be somewhere and they could find him. They had to be able to. Maybe he knew it too, wherever he was; maybe he knew that they were able to find him and she had spent all of this time doing nothing when she could have been doing something.
There was the sliver of hope that sat idly in Allura's heart reminding her gently that this was not the end, and she finally listened to it. It was all she needed alongside the feeling in the pit of her stomach (the part Lance referred to as his "gut") that he was not lost forever, just lost for now.
It was a slow process in the beginning, but she was able to sleep for more than a handful of hours. Allura regained her courage and leadership, day by day, working towards finding the Black Paladin. Her Black Paladin. It didn't stop hurting, not being able to see him every day and the frustration of not being able to find him right away, but it became manageable.
She vowed to herself then, that despite their circumstances with rebuilding the universe, she would tell him that she loved him. Not the familial type of love that she had grown to associating with the other paladins. A one, true love kind of love.
There was the hope that maybe he saw her as his one true love too.
