Lindsay had that deadpan look on her face from the lab to the parking lot to Danny's truck and finally, to the comedy bar, Laugh Track, where they have come to see Gary Roberts.
Danny just looked at her as they both stood next to a pillar inside the bar. The place was packed.
A busty, skimpily clad woman passes in front of them, carrying a tray of beers. Danny nods at her. Lindsay just gives him an evil look.
"Hey Danny" the woman said as she passed by.
"Katrina" Danny said as he tried to avert his eyes from her bust.
Lindsay looked at the other waitresses. They seemed like clones of the lovely Katrina. They all looked alike and dressed alike.
"So" Lindsay finally said "Which of these fine women stole your heart and ate it for dinner?"
Danny gives her an appalled look. "Really? You think of me as the waitress-baiting kind?"
"Not that there's anything wrong with it" Lindsay said.
Danny then turns his attention to the stage. Lindsay was distracted by the huge laughter around her, upon which she notices the comic that was performing --- a woman.
"Alright" the woman said to her mic, a spotlight shining down on her blond, wavy hair. "I have a confession to make".
Lindsay looked at the woman. She was wearing spectacles, about as tall (or as short) as she is. Flat-chested. Flawless skin. She looked --- normal.
"My taste in men" the woman continued "depends not on how they look like but how they sound like. I love accents I really do. I dated this English guy before, and he was all like 'Don't be such a bloody scuttlebum and let me have a fricking fag'. I'm like, okay. You swing that way. I knew it!"
General laughter from the audience. Lindsay laughs too.
"Then I dated this Korean guy and…. Do you ever notice that when they're suspicious --- like if I'm tricking him to buy a Toyota instead of a Hyundai ---they go 'Wohohoho'. So maybe Santa's not from the North Pole after all".
Audience laughs again. Danny looks at Lindsay. She was enjoying herself.
"But my all time favorite, my Double-Dutch of all accents… New Yorkers" the woman said
The men in the audience started to scream and jeer.
"I love New Yorkers." She continued "I once dated this guy…. Italian American…. He got this Chris Walken thing going on…."
The comic starts to change her stance, as if imitating someone's movements. Danny buried his face in his right hand.
"First time I met him, I told him I did stand up, he was like 'Get outta here'" the woman said, accent and all "And I was like…. It's raining out."
The audience laughs again. Lindsay notices that Danny --- still with his face in his hand --- wasn't looking , but was also laughing.
"Then he took me to a Yankees game and he's up on his feet and he goes 'Yeah! You think you can kick our ass in our turf? Fugettaboutit' and then he does this chin-flicking thing like he was wiping marinara sauce or something…."
The comic flicks her chin with her fingers --- the way the Mafia does it. The audience laughs.
"But my favorite is when we're having dinner, and we're in a restaurant and he orders his pasta. And he describes it to the waiter like 'Linguine pasta with arabiatta sauce and parmesano regiano' and he has his three fingers up like this" the woman demonstrated, as she has her middle, ring and pinky finger up "and he holds his hand up like this, like he was cleaning someone's ear…… 'Don't forget the bruschetta, eh'"
Lindsay is beside herself with laughter. "That is so you" she tells Danny in between her giggling.
"Shut up" Danny said, smiling.