I do not own the rights to nor am I in any way affiliated with Azumanga Daioh.
Author's Notes and replies to reviews are at the end of the chapter
Cold Nights
Chapter 3
For the third time Yomi checked her hair and make-up in the bathroom mirror. She had been pacing and checking her watch in-between trips to the mirror for the past twenty minutes. Less than five minutes before Tomo was supposed to be there for their date.
The whole week had been utterly painful, Yomi having to stop Tomo from coming over at night before it looked suspicious, having to stop Tomo from clinging to her every moment possible even in semi-public places, all despite how much she wanted it to happen. A whole week filled with furtive glances and short secretive meetings so they could hug, or kiss, then go their separate ways. They had braved the cold winter days, spending their lunch hour on the roof of the school where they could sit close and hold hands. Tomo seemed to enjoy being fed by Yomi. The only minor upside to the week, which Yomi felt guilty for enjoying, was the fact that Kagura and Tomo still weren't on speaking terms, at least giving Yomi a reason to be with Tomo elsewhere while Kagura was hanging around the others during lunch.
Going back to pacing up and down the hall, Yomi crossed her arms and tried to suppress the feeling of nervousness that had arisen in her. She was going to act like this was any other day out with Tomo. It didn't mean anything that it was a date, a real date, a real honest to God date with her best friend since forever. The red cashmere sweater she wore suddenly felt hot and constricting, she wanted to change into something loose-fitting, something that would hide her body rather than show it off.
The ding of the doorbell snapped Yomi from her thoughts, setting her running for the door. Opening the door, Yomi was nearly knocked down as Tomo lunged in and grabbed her in an uncomfortably tight hug. Reflexively trying to pry the girl off of her, Yomi growled in protest, saying, "Be careful, you'll wrinkle my sweater!"
Letting herself be pushed to arm length, Tomo grinned up at her, immediately noticing the lipstick and saying, "Since when did you do girly stuff like wearing make-up?"
Yomi frowned, saying defensively, "Since I started going on dates."
Finally allowing herself to be pried away, Tomo stepped back and said, "Who else have you gone on a date with."
Sitting down on the edge of the vestibule to pull her black knee-boots on, Yomi said in a low voice, "No one." Getting to her feet once more, she brushed off the back of her skirt and hoped the bit of uncovered flesh between the top of her boots and bottom of her skirt wouldn't be a problem. "Okay, ready to go?"
Tomo nodded, opening the door as Yomi was taking her long coat from the hook on the wall and pulling it on. After locking the door behind herself, Yomi buttoned her coat up as they started walking. The sky was beginning to cloud up and there was a cold wind starting to whip down through the streets.
"So, I'm your first kiss and your first date?" Tomo said as they walked.
Yomo glanced down at her girlfriend, "Yeah, why?"
With a grin, Tomo moved closer, saying, "Just wishing we'd done this sooner!" Then adding in a seductive tone, "'Specially considerin' how hot you look in that outfit."
Rolling her eyes, Yomi replied in a tense voice, "Don't make me regret wearing it." She added after a moment, "Did you decide what movie we're going to see?"
With a grin, Tomo launched into an explanation of her decision making process that lasted until they were almost at the theater. By the time they arrived and got in line Yomi was beginning to regret giving Tomo free reign on the choice of which film they saw. The description she'd been provided with pegged it as a cartoon import she'd never heard of from America, and from the look of the line was aimed at a whole age group below them. There were at least two other groups of high school girls in line with them, which made Yomi feel a bit less embarrassed as she stared at the poster for the movie depicting what looked like an evil blue koala bear standing on a sunny beach.
Having learned long ago it was impossible to pass through the theater lobby with Tomo without having to buy something to eat, Yomi headed straight for the long line at the snack bar. To her surprise, instead of their usual bickering over what they would have for a snack, Tomo instead steered her on towards the open doors of cinema the movie they were to see was playing in. She hadn't even looked at the large display case of the candy sold by the concession stand. They sat in the center of one of the back rows of the theater, Yomi noting to herself there were three couples sitting behind them, the rest of the movie patrons in the lower rows in larger groups.
Once the lights dimmed after what seemed like an eternity being bathed in spotlights, Yomi felt a little less nervous, figuring that anyone they knew that walked by wouldn't recognize them in the dark. She slumped down in her seat slightly, supporting herself on the arm rests and watching Tomo stare at the movie previews. It made her feel warm inside just being with Tomo, even if she didn't care much for the movie. It was the same feeling she'd survived the past years on, just enjoying Tomo's presence despite herself.
It took Tomo waving her hand in Yomi's face to snap the girl from her trance, prompting her to say, "What?" in a quiet voice, to which Tomo replied by pointing at the screen and saying, "The movie's up there" with a playful smirk. Looking back at the screen, Yomi startled as Tomo's hand enclosed hers on the armrest between them. She looked quickly back to her girlfriend who was still smirking at her. They both looked back to the screen, their attention hardly on the movie at all now.
)-(-)-(
As the credits began to roll across the screen and the lights came back on Yomi and Tomo still sat together as the only occupants of their row. Their hands remained clasped together on the armrest as they had been for the better part of the movie.
The small crowd in the rows below them was beginning to make its way up the aisles and back past them towards the exit. Yomi was quick to remove her hand from Tomo's, getting to her feet and stretching her arms as if nothing had happened. Tomo rose to her feet as well, not looking as happy anymore as she took her coat from the vacant chair next to her's. They moved into the aisle and headed back towards the lobby, Tomo reaching and grabbing Yomi's hand in her's once again as they pushed through the crowd in the lobby towards the street.
Once through the doors, Yomi glanced down at Tomo apprehensively, who said out of the blue, "You know, the girl and her mother in that movie were Hawaiian."
"Yeah." Yomi glanced around at the crowd moving around them, the nervous lump in her stomach growing over the physical contact with Tomo.
"Well, you're Hawaiian too, right? Why don't you have a tan like them?"
For a moment Yomi forgot her nervousness, giving Tomo a perturbed look and saying, "I haven't been to Hawaii since I was three years old."
As she began to walk Yomi twisted her hand, quickly wrenching it from Tomo's who reciprocated by moving in and grabbing Yomi's arm, pulling them close together. Keeping Yomi's arm grasped protectively Tomo said, "Come on, we don't have to be this secretive."
Her face reddening, Yomi shot back from the corner of her mouth, "We—we just can't be seen like this in public," she tried gingerly to pull her arm away, Tomo clasping it tighter in response. "People don't understand, we'd get made fun of at school," Yomi's voice quickened apprehensively with every word, "everyone would be talking about us just like they are about Kagura and Ms. Kurosawa. And our parents would disown us, we'd be total outcasts if anyone found out."
With a growl of frustration Tomo pushed herself away from Yomi harshly, crossing her arms and looking genuinely sullen for once as they walked. The retort that she'd hardly care what others thought died on her tongue as two familiar figures appeared out of the crowd ahead of them. Looking up from the sidewalk, Tomo felt a pang of guilt in her stomach as she saw Kagura standing before her beside Sakaki. For a long moment she and Kagura stared at one another silently, the tanned girl looking less mutinous than before, but still none too pleased to see Tomo. Yomi saying, "What're you two up to?" finally broke the tension.
Managing to tear her malevolent glare away from Tomo, Kagura managed a small smile as she said, "We were headed to the arcade," then adding after a moment's thought, "Where were you two coming from? Did you see a movie together?"
Yomi's heart began to beat faster. She tried to calm herself, repeating in her head that it wasn't any big deal for best friends to go and see movies together. She couldn't remember any movie she'd seen in the past four years with just Tomo; Chiyo and Osaka at the least were usually tagging along. Did Kagura know that? She couldn't think of anything to say; it felt like no matter what she did she was going to blurt out the truth.
A curious glance from Kagura and Sakaki pressed Yomi for an answer. Trying to compose herself, Yomi began, "Ah, we—" only to be cut off as Tomo interjected energetically, "Yomi bet me dinner I couldn't sit through a movie without getting up and going to the snack bar and bathroom fifty billion times. She lost, and now she's gotta pay up!"
A sense of relief washed over Yomi, who had begun to sweat despite how cool it was outside. She looked away in feigned embarrassment, wishing she could kiss Tomo right there for coming up with the story. The nod from Kagura indicated she accepted the lie, and Sakaki as usual was silently unreadable.
Grabbing Yomi's arm, Tomo began to drag her away saying, "And now we gotta go, 'cause I gotta go!" She gave another tug to get Yomi walking faster, feeling pleased with herself for the lie. They waved to their friends before the crowd filled the gap between them, Tomo keeping hold of Yomi's hand and leading her down the street.
Despite the contact, Yomi's nervousness waned slightly as she hoped it didn't look odd for her to be lead by a friend through the streets. Glancing at the people around her on the street none of them seemed to be paying her any mind, at least.
After walking a block or two Tomo came to a stop outside of a small restaurant with a colorful red and white awning and sign advertising what was allegedly the best spicy udon in the prefect. She released Yomi's hand finally once they were through the door, then saying, "Find us a table, I'll be right back" as she headed towards a small hall at the edge of the dining area.
"Where're you going," Yomi called after her questioningly.
Flashing a grin over her shoulder Tomo said back, "I wasn't kidding about having to go."
Yomi watched her disappear at the end of the hall, her attention then being drawn to a young woman no older than herself who was dressed in a waitress' uniform. "Just the two of you?" she said in a cheerful voice.
With a nod Yomi followed the waitress into the dining area, being lead to a small two-person table near one of the front windows of the restaurant. The waitress set two menus on the table, then smiling and saying, "You and your friend look over the menu, and I'll be back to take your orders in a few minutes," before heading off towards the kitchen.
Taking up and the menu and unfolding it to read, Yomi glanced around the interior of the restaurant. It was darker inside than she'd have expected, lit chiefly by Chinese lanterns hung from the ceiling. Most of the dining area was taken up small two-person tables such as the one she was sitting at, each one decorated with a small candle in the center. It seemed rather crowded now that she looked around, every table seeming to be taken up by a boy and a girl. A feeling of panic coursed up her body, driving away her appetite as she noticed every set of patrons in the restaurant was a couple. This was just the first place to eat they had passed, right? Tomo hadn't planned this, had she? Yomi raised the menu higher, trying to hide her face behind it, sure someone from their school would be here.
Yomi felt herself break out in a cold sweat when she saw Tomo coming towards the table. As the other girl took a seat and picked up the menu Yomi finally dared to lower hers slightly, saying in a voice she hoped only Tomo could hear, "Why did you pick this place?"
Still looking over he menu, Tomo replied as if she were totally unaware of Yomi's stress, "They have really good spicy udon, I thought you'd appreciate it."
"We have to get out of here, Tomo, what if someone from school sees us? There'd be rumors about us all over the school by tomorrow," Yomi continued in a hushed voice.
Yomi was startled by the sound of Tomo's menu being slapped down on the table. The shorter girl pushed her chair back, rising to her feet with hands on the edge of the table as she said aloud, "So it's just a rumor now?" before grabbing her jacket and storming out of the restaurant. Yomi was left at the table with a stunned look on her face that quickly turned to embarrassment as she realized how many people were watching the scene dissolve intently. Grabbing her own jacket, Yomi apologized to their waitress quickly who had just been on her way back to take their orders. Heading out of the restaurant, Yomi caught sight of Tomo not far up the sidewalk from her, following the smaller girl at a distance.
Clenching her fists and biting her lip, Tomo did her best not to scream, or sob, or whatever sound was welling up inside of her at the moment. She wasn't even sure where she was going right now, nor had she noticed how cold it was without her jacket on. As she walked the buildings turned from shops to houses as she entered a neighborhood, coming to a small playground in a vacant lot. It being dusk during winter, no children were around at the moment, the only inhabitants being a flock of small snowbirds scratching around in the dust.
Standing on the sidewalk still, Yomi watched quietly as Tomo charged at the group of birds suddenly, raising her arms and yelling, "Stupid birds!" as she neared them, sending the snowbirds scattering. Her mission accomplished, Tomo turned and crossed her arms, walking over to the swing set and plopping herself down.
After a few silent moments Yomi came to sit on the swing beside Tomo. Yomi kept her eyes on Tomo, who was staring vacantly at a spot on the ground a few yards away. Finally Tomo broke the silence saying in a soft voice, "Why do you always have to do that? Why can't we just act normal?"
"Because this isn't normal," Yomi replied solemnly, if a bit more forcefully than intended.
Tomo scowled, mumbling, "Only because you have to act so fake."
Without thinking Yomi shot back, "You're the one who always puts on a happy face even though you're miserable!" Then adding after a short pause, "When was the last time you were even really happy?"
Tomo turned to look at Yomi, tears collecting in the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks as she said in a quavering voice, "When you told me you cared about me. But I can see now you care about what everyone else thinks about you more." She stood, roughly trying to pull her jacket on and becoming frustrated as the sleeve wouldn't unfold through force. She threw down the article of clothing with a frustrated growl and stalked off towards the street.
Yomi stared after her, wanting to bite her own tongue off and end the trouble it had caused her once and for all. After Tomo had disappeared around the fence that separated the park from the adjacent house Yomi finally tore her gaze away to look at her feet mournfully. A chasm had opened inside her chest, a representation of the sickening feeling of being alone she felt suddenly. A gust of wind snapped her back to reality as it chilled her to the bone. Getting to her feet slowly she felt wobbly, pulling on her jacket and snatching up Tomo's before walking out of the playground.
On the walk home Yomi was thankful not to run into any of her other friends. It was after dark now, and the sidewalks were more crowded than earlier, mostly with teenagers around her age. Tightening her jacket around herself, Yomi watched them quietly as they moved around her, all the happy couples holding hands, or giggling with each other. The restaurant from earlier looked even more packed now, and a line had formed at the theatre for the next showings of the movies. As she passed down the street towards her neighborhood Yomi was feeling worse and worse for what she had said. The last time she'd talked to Kaorin came to her mind, Kaorin who was beating herself up over looking so plain, and Yomi had offered a scolding speech on being herself. Yet here she was, acting like a hypocrite who didn't listen to her own advice.
Yomi's path home took her within view of the east face of Tomo's house, which included Tomo's window. Standing and watching it for a moment, Yomi wondered if the darkness meant Tomo hadn't come home yet. She had no idea where the other girl could have gone, much less without her jacket. She lingered on the street outside for a few minutes, wanting to say she saw the darkened curtains move, finally heading on home.
Stepping inside and shutting the door behind her, Yomi slipped off her boots and hung the two jackets on hooks by the door. She headed into the kitchen and towards her room, pausing upon finding her mother still eating dinner. Looking up from her plate, Yomi's mother seemed a bit surprised to see Yomi so early, saying, "Home already?"
Nodding dejectedly, Yomi came to sit on the stool across the island counter from her mother who quickly picked up on her daughter's mood. As she finished her meal and set down her chopsticks Yomi's mother said, "You're a bit dressed up to have gone out with friends, aren't you?"
Her eyes snapping up to look at her mother, Yomi's heart skipped a beat. She could feel her face growing red, praying her mother didn't notice. A part of her mind goaded her to spill everything, get it over with, and let the truth set her free. The other, much larger, part of her mind was busy trying to think of a lie to tell to preserve itself.
Yomi's mother's mouth curled into an impish smirk, "If it's because you were really with a boy, you can tell me, Yomi. I won't make fun of you for going on your first date…too much."
"No, no!" Yomi paused for a moment, thinking her response through, then adding, "Well, yeah…."
Picking up her plate, Yomi's mother went to the sink to wash it, "Didn't work out?"
Going back to staring at the counter top before her, Yomi mumbled an ambiguous answer, gathering her courage and adding in an audible tone, "Sort of…It's, well, Tomo…We had a fight."
Her mother began to wash the other glassware left in the sink, saying in a motherly tone, "She's probably just jealous, or protective. I'm sure she'll come around if you talk to her about it. Even the best of friends have disagreements sometimes."
"Well, I guess I should call her and apologize…." Yomi slid off the stool, feeling guilty over lying to her mother. It wasn't really a lie, though, was it? She simply hadn't corrected her mother's assumptions….
"Better sooner than later," her mother said as Yomi took the cordless phone from its dock on the wall and started down the hall to her room, not knowing what she was even going to say to Tomo. "Sorry" was all she really had to say, there was nothing to say to defend herself, and it was no use to start an argument over it even if there was.
It took several minutes of digging around in her things to find the address book she kept her friend's personal information in. It was a bit embarrassing having to look up Tomo's phone number, but there had been little before now that'd been important enough to relay to Tomo before the next day they would see each other at school. Not to mention how often Tomo came around at night to get away from her parents anyway.
Finally fishing the address book out of her desk, Yomi found where Tomo was listed in it, took a deep breath, and dialed the number. For a tense moment Yomi listened as the phone rang, almost hoping no one would pick up. Finally there was a click, and a woman's voice said in a forcedly courteous tone, "Hello?"
Hoping her voice didn't sound as nervous as she felt, Yomi quickly said, "Hi Mrs. Takino, uh, this is Yomi, could I speak to Tomo, please?" She startled as Tomo's mother yelled for the girl without moving the phone away from her mouth.
)-(-)-(
Tomo's room was dark, and had been since the sun had set that day. Lying on her bed staring at the ceiling, Tomo was shaken from her thoughts by the unavoidable sound of her mother yelling her name through the small house. Sitting up on the edge of the bed she looked momentarily at the paper, books, and stationary that littered the floor of her room, a product of her temper when she had arrived home and thrown the contents of her desk top into the floor. She almost wished something amongst it had been breakable just so she could be mad at herself over that as well.
Hearing her mother yell her name again, she finally rose to her feet, stalking into the living room where her mother stood staring at her crossly. It hadn't been long since their yelling match over Tomo being out without a jacket on had ended. Taking the phone roughly, Tomo headed towards the front door, her mother yelling after her, "Where are you going?"
Her temper already flaring, Tomo yelled back, "Outside! Can't I have some privacy?" and slammed the door behind herself. She could hear her mother admonishing her over doing exactly what she had earlier through the door, choosing to ignore it as she brought the phone to her ear and said, "Hello?"
Yomi bit her lip, feeling guilty now over adding further to Tomo's problems, "It's me…."
The reply of, "What do you want?" she received from Tomo was almost more venomous than she'd expected. Trying to avoid putting her foot in her mouth again, Yomi took a calming breath and pressed on, "I wanted to say I'm sorry…. I know I was being paranoid, and, well, I'm sorry for acting like that."
"Do you really mean that, or is this just another lie?" Tomo replied acidly.
"No, I do mean it, Tomo!" Yomi's voice was growing more strained, threatening to crack as she spoke, "I just, could you come over tomorrow, after lunch? Please?"
There was a long pause as Tomo mulled over her choices. Finally, in a more subdued voice she said, "Okay…." An awkward silence set in, finally broken by Tomo saying, "Yomi, you need to look outside…."
A bit confused, Yomi went to the window of her room, drawing back the curtain to peer out. She was surprised to see the large flakes of snow cascading down in the light of the street lamp on the street. "It's snowing!" she gasped, watching the flakes gather in the grass slowly.
The two watched the snow silently, feeling a bit better just to hear the other's breathing over the phone. After a few minutes that seemed like fleeting seconds, Tomo said, "My dad's home. I need to go." The two bid each other goodbye, agreeing again to meet after lunch the next day before ending the call.
Yomi stood at her window still, watching the snow falling quietly. Her heart was beating fast, the sick feeling that had dogged her most of the night being replaced by a nervous hopefulness. Shutting the curtains once again, she gathered her pajamas from the closet and went to put the phone back in the kitchen before taking a shower.
End Chapter 3.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the fic. Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, I kept adding things to the chapter, and rewrote the whole thing three times.
Yes, the movie they saw was Disney's Lilo & Stitch (which I do not own, nor am I in any way affiliated with, of course). A commercial for it happened to catch by attention while I was writing, and the exchange about Yomi being Hawaiin jumped to mind, so I used it. It just seemed like something Tomo would want to see, too. I didn't mention it by name because for some reason using the names of movies, music, etc. really grates on my nerves in fics, and I didn't want to be a hypocrite about it.