The next morning, Haymitch did not wake up the smell of breakfast being prepared like he thought he would.
"Are they that pissed?" He asked Effie, who was just waking up too.
"They have a public paranormal tour. They tend to sleep late so they can stay alert throughout the night." Unlike like most of Earth's population, Effie was a morning person and was alert the second she woke up.
"So your brother, sister, you and I will be left to our own devices?" Haymitch asked, deviously. "I hope they know they may not wake up to their house still here."
Effie said nothing, giving him a look as she got ready for the day.
"Are you going?" Haymitch asked, referring to the tour.
"Only if you go!" She exclaimed, nervously. "I think they want you to get involved."
"Even after last night?" He asked skeptically.
"Especially after last night! If you do go, it'll only make you look better in their eyes."
Haymitch huffed as he got out of bed, "Fine, but I'm going to dress up as a ghost in these bed sheets."
"I'm sure Cassius would happily join you." Effie giggled as they left their room.
Haymitch sat at the dining room table as Effie cooked breakfast. No one could tell by looking at her, but she did inherit her mother's cooking abilities. The only real mishap happened her first time cooking on a gas stove when she first moved in with Haymitch. All the stoves in the Capitol are electric and Effie wasn't paying attention. The next thing she knew, smoke was everywhere and sirens were screaming. Katniss had seen the smoke from next door and called the fire department. District 12 never had a fire department until after the Rebellion and that happened to be their very first call. Effie was mortified.
"I swear to god if you don't shut up I'll push you down these stairs," Haymitch heard Cassius yell angrily.
"Do it and I'll come back from the grave to haunt your ass!" Lissy threatened as the both entered the room. Lissy saw Haymitch and advanced on him, "You!' She exclaimed, grabbing the collar of his shirt. "I fucking heard what you were doing to my sister last night!"
Cassius bellowed with laughter but Haymitch was unfazed, "Welcome to the facts of life, sweetheart. And I was doing nothing to Effie. The phrase 'doing to' implies that Effie was not a willing participant and I can assure you, she was." He said sarcastically as he removed her hands with little effort. He truly enjoyed the look of horror on her face. Lissy quickly replaced it with a death glare as she rounded the table and sat a chair away from Cassius.
"Are you going on the tour?" Cassius asked.
"I have to apparently. I told Effie I'm dressing up bed sheets." Haymitch groaned.
Lissy scoffed.
"I'm going to make them think a ghost is making noises." Cassius replied.
"You two are a bunch of immature idiots." Lissy griped.
"Shut it blondie, I've had a hard life. I deserve to not act my age with a like minded individual," He said, sarcastically and gesturing to Cassius. "What are we 'touring', exactly?" Haymitch asked Cassius.
"A theater , the only building in this part of the country that survived the first Rebellion, a couple of houses the city owns of historical significance and some fancy-smancy hotel." Cassius said, counting each of the locations on his fingers. "We start at the park on Main Street, go up to Skylark Street and circle back around to the park. It's about an hour and a half of walking, unless we get to go in the locations."
Haymitch slumped dramatically in his chair, "I hate walking."
"How the hell did you survive the Hunger Games?" Lissy asked sarcastically.
"Do you want to feel how hard I can punch?" Haymitch asked.
Any further argument stopped as Effie came in with breakfast.
"What did you do with all your Capitol clothes, Effie?" Lissy asked, eagerly. It was the first time Haymitch saw her act like a decent human being.
"Oh, well, I donated most of my clothes to a shop that deconstructs them and reuses the fabrics. No one would want to wear Capitol couture anymore. I only kept what I thought would be appropriate for District 12." Effie explained.
"Oh." Lissy said disappointedly.
"You have enough clothes, Lissy." Cassius chided, "Everyone at your school will hate you even more if you came in wearing Capitol clothes."
"Shut up! Unlike you, everyone likes me!" Lissy retorted.
Haymitch laughed, heartily.
"How about we eat quietly? I heard it helps digestion." Effie urged, wanting to quell any further arguments. All verbal jabs stopped, but that didn't stop the murderous glares.
Afternoon approached and Haymitch fell asleep on the couch, leaving him vulnerable. Lissy took this as a chance to use him as her personal canvas, using her entire makeup collection as her chosen medium. Unaware of Lissy's plan, Effie went to sit by the river. She always loved the water, how the sound could cancel the noises of modern life out so easily. Effie wished she could swim and nearly asked Haymitch to teach her, but she had a feeling his method involved throwing her in the lake and hoping she came back up.
She was alone for several minutes until she heard Cassius, "Can I join?"
"Of course!" She smiled. He sat down next her, pulling off his shoes and socks, putting his feet in.
"We drink this water, Cash!" She exclaimed in disgust.
"Not until it's been cleaned and purified." He assuaged, grinning at his sister's idiosyncrasies.
A comfortable silence fell upon them until Cassius spoke up.
"What was imprisonment like?" He asked quietly, "If it's too painful, I'll just shut up. I'm sure you've only told Haymitch-" He was cut off by Effie. It was probably the first time Effie Trinket ever interrupted someone.
"I learned that evil is real. And it's called humankind. They, uh," she paused, trying to keep her composure. Cassius realized she was losing her Capitol accent. Truthfully, it started slipping away when she met Haymitch, with all the time she spent in 12 over the years. Now it was only a subtle nuance to her voice. "Broke my forearm the first day and it wasn't repaired until 13 found me. They were able to fix it and I can obviously use it, but sometimes I loose all feeling for a few days. Nerve damage they say. Chipped teeth, missing teeth, internal bleeding, lacerated spleen, countless bruises and cuts. Haymitch paid for all my of my medical treatments. I cannot fully put my experience into words. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."
"How are you ok?" Cassius, dumbfounded. "If I would have known in time to save you before Haymitch did, I would have. Mom and Dad were trying to get you out too."
"I know they were and you would have. Haymitch and Plutarch Heavensbee merely got to me first. I choose to be happy. And I really am. I was rescued, I'm stronger than I was before, I was able experience a renaissance in the country and I'm engaged to wonderful, well in my opinion, man. I can't change the past, so it's no use in dwelling on it. I can be bitter or frightened of everyone or depressed or angry, but I was given a second chance and I am going to use it. Haymitch has even taught me how to shoot a gun," She giggled at the idea of her wielding such a weapon.
She tilted her head to the left, away from Cassius and gathered her hair. A single lock was dyed baby pink. "So I never forget how I've changed for the better."
"Does 12 treat you any better, knowing you were on there side?"
Effie sighed, wistfully, "Not much better. I don't blame them. I'm still the monster who stole their children. I don't understand my actions, myself. I was in Honors Literature; give me a story and I can analyze it, find the true meaning of the story and understand the characters actions and motives, but I couldn't understand what I was really doing."
"We were brainwashed, Effs and trained like dogs not to question the Capitol. I do not blame you at all. Does Haymitch know you obsessed over him during his games?" Cassius asked teasingly, hoping to lighten the mood.
Effie scoffed, playfully, "I highly doubt my six year old self obsessed over a 16 year old. Did you know
Haymitch burned through sixteen escorts before I can along?"
Cassius chuckled.
Another silence fell over the siblings. Effie thought back to District 12. While she hated how she was ostracized and treated coldly by the people, she knew it was her home. She only hoped that any children she and Haymitch had would be treated better than she was.
"Haymitch is going to be one of those old men who sit on their porch and yell at kids isn't he?" Effie asked, thinking about District 12.
"He isn't already?" Cassius asked, a mixture of seriousness and joking in his voice.
They both laughed heartily.
Suddenly, Haymitch's voice broke their laughter. "Mother of god!" He yelled.
"We left Haymitch alone with Lissy." Effie stated.
"We left Haymitch alone with Lissy." Cassius confirmed.
They both quickly got up and ran to the house, partly to stop any fight and to have a laugh at whatever she did before Haymitch destroyed the evidence.
The scene was enough to make Effie and Cassius burst out laughing. Both Lissy and Haymitch were standing in the middle of the living room holding the dining table chairs up with the legs facing each other. Haymitch was threatening to throw Lissy's designer purse into the burning fireplace and Lissy was holding a purple coated mascara wand, pointed at Haymitch.
"What is going on?!" Effie exclaimed.
Haymitch turned to Effie, still prepared to fight. He looked like a mixture of Dr. Frank-N-Furter and Marie Antoinette on an acid trip. His hair was curled and his whiskers were dyed hot pink and shaped into whimsical patterns. His lips were painted purple, his cheeks were stained bright red. Blue, sparkly eyeshadow went all the way up to his eyebrows. His eyelashes were purple, matching the color on the mascara wand. Rhinestones were glued randomly to his face as though a child did it. His new makeover and crazy look in his eyes were enough to send Effie and Cassius into a laughing fit. Just when they thought they were done, they looked at Haymitch and it started all over again.
"I'm going to kill that little brat!" He exclaimed.
Effie was thankful that her parents where no where near to his threat, or they'd believe him. And quite frankly, Effie wasn't sure if he was serious or not.
"Come on Haymitch, let's get you cleaned up." Effie said as Cassius took the chair and Effie urged him up the stairs.
"This isn't over!" He yelled, grabbing the corner of the wall at the of staircase, staring at Lissy. Effie was able to salvage her fiancés' appearance, but he had to shave for first time in months.
Cosmo and Lyric awoke around noon. Lyric made a beeline for the kitchen to prepare lunch. Cosmo sat down in the living room, preparing notes for the tour. As everyone ate lunch, he buzzed about the tour.
"We're expecting a great turnout! Over twenty people RSVP'd! We'll get to go in all the locations!"
Needless to say, Haymitch and Cassius had plans to disrupt the tour. Around six thirty, as dusk was approaching, everyone piled into Cosmo's car and drove down to the city. When they arrived, a group of people were waiting on them.
"We still have a few minutes before we planned on starting. So we'll wait a few more minutes for anymore to show." Cosmo called to the group.
Unfortunately, some of Lissy's friends from school happened to be at the park and were snickering at Haymitch.
"I've killed people before, I can easily do it again," He said darkly. They instantly quieted.
Soon after, the tour started. Even though it was barely fall, due to the high elevation, Haymitch had to wear the long, thick coat over his suit-jacket that he only used in the cruel District 12 winters. He kept his arm around Effie's waist as they walked.
"Good evening everyone! My name is Cosmo Trinket, I am the founder of Trinket Paranormal! This is my wife Lyric," Lyric smiled and greeted the group.
"Our middle child, Cassius," Cassius merely nodded to the group.
"Our youngest, Lissy," Lissy acted as though a spotlight was upon her.
"And you all may know my daughter, Effie and her fiancé Haymitch Abernathy." Haymitch pretended to be interested in the sidewalk.
"Hello everyone!" Effie said happily.
"Now that everyone knows who we are, let's get started!" Cassius started leading the group, walking backwards as he started his speech, "We live in an area with a sordid history, even before the country became Panem. Numerous high profile murders and shootings have happened in our neck of the woods. I personally think all the negative energy subconsciously swayed our nations' founders to put the Capitol here. Negative energy of the past begets the negative energy of the future.
"Our first stop will be the Juliet Theater Company. Back in 2012 an actress named Kalynn Kirk killed herself in her dressing room. No one knows why, but people speculated it was because she fell in love with one of the actors she could not have. Her spirit is seen in her dressing room, reenacting her death, standing of the stage, silently. Theater operators have heard her scream late at night."
When they arrived at the theater, they went in and actors and other people who worked at the theater shared their personal experiences. As an actress with bold red lipstick and thick eyebrows recalled her experience, Cassius nudged Haymitch, showing him a recorder in his hand. He pressed play and a woman's scream came from the machine.
"That's her!" The actress exclaimed, dramatically as half of the group ran to the door in fright. Haymitch saw Cosmo giving him and Cassius a disapproving look as they tried to suppress laughter.
They behaved themselves during the next locations to not raise suspicions amongst the tour-takers , but a the last location, a hotel near the park they met at, they planned on shutting off the lights, touching the easily scared on the shoulder and banging on the walls.
Everyone was standing in a conference room of the hotel, to not hinder the real guests. People who worked there were telling their stories of their encounters. After several minutes, Cassius gave Haymitch the signal and he flipped off the lights without anyone noticing. They started hitting the walls with their fists, stomping their feet and anything else they could think off.
The entire tour group and hotel workers ran out of the room, nearly knocking people over. Women screamed as though they were being murdered and the men all but grabbed their girls to get them out quicker. Haymitch and Cassius could not hold back any longer and laughed.
Cosmo and Lyric stared at Haymitch and Cassius. Effie knew they were livid. She sighed, "Strike one."
Author's note: My family and I are paranormal investigators with our own team and faking evidence and experiences are the best ways to anger an investigator. It's the reason why most real groups and teams hate T.A.P.S, P.R.S. ects In other news, I need to realize that it's Woody Harrelson playing Tallahassee in Zombieland, not Haymitch…..