Stand By Me (Train in Vain)

== Be Casey

The visit started out okay. It really did, and for a little while you thought that maybe things were going to be different. Mom read to you on the couch and you tried your absolute hardest to pay attention (her stories have all these words you don't know, but you don't want mom to think you're dumb!). Dad made dinner and Mom brought a brand-new scarf she had knit just for you. It's purple, and you liked it because it reminded you a little bit of her eyes.

She tucks it in around your neck, and you wonder for a minute if you can wear it outside tomorrow. It doesn't matter if it's summer; you're ready to show it off.

"Rose, Casey, food's ready!" His head pokes through the awning, and your mom is quick to withdraw and join him. Dinner smells amazing and you got pudding for later and Dad didn't even ask you to mash the potatoes yourself this time…

There are canned peas. He has to know better than that by now, you HATE canned peas.

"I see that look you're giving, Casey Egbert," he warns, carving up a piece of chicken. "It's good for you. You haven't eaten anything besides macaroni and cheese the past three nights, I don't think some peas are going to kill you."

"They might." They smell disgusting and they're all mushy in a puddle of pea juice. No way no way no way.

"They won't. These are the non-violent peas, I got them just for you." Your dad picks up a spoon and starts loading your plate.

"Ew, Dad! That's like half peas and no potatoes! No one can eat that many peas."

"I'll eat just as many as you do, and so will your mom." He spoons a heaping portion onto the other plates. "But if you keep whining about it we're not going biking this weekend."

"Biking?" Your mom perks up a bit. "Casey, how long have you known how to ride a bike?"

"It's been two years now mom. I don't even need training wheels anymore!"

"That's wonderful, I'm glad to hear it." She doesn't look glad, and neither does Dad. "I had just thought we were going to wait to teach you until a little later."

"Rose, can we talk about this after dinner?" He pauses to wipe the sweat off his forehead, and for one horrible moment you wonder what exactly your peas are floating in right now. There is no way you are putting that anywhere near your mouth.

"It'll only take a moment. Casey, dear, your father and I will be right back." Your dad deflates a bit, wandering into the piano room after your mom. You always know scary things are going to happen when mom stands up that straight, walking with purpose. She had her back straight when you were little, and she told you she was moving out.

On the bright side, absolutely no one is around to watch you throw your peas in the trash. You're busy helping yourself to the extra mashed potatoes when you realize you can still hear them talking in the other room.

"…she's nearly nine now, of course I had to teach her—"

"My issue isn't that you taught her," your mom's voice is quiet, serious. Scary, even. "You said we would discuss decisions like this. Riding a bike can be dangerous…"

"It's not dangerous if you do it right!" Your dad is hissing under his breath, and you sneak a little closer to listen. "She's got a helmet, and I go with her every time. She hasn't even ridden it to school yet-"

"I just wish you would have informed me before allowing our daughter onto a two-wheeled device that could possibly—"

"It's a bike, Rose." You can crack the door just enough to see them; your mom with her arms crossed and your dad rigid. "Not a two-wheeled device, a bike. And I mean, I would have told you, but it's not exactly easy to get in touch with you anymore…"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I would really like it if you could look past your new life sometimes and see your daughter!"

Your mom looks so cold, with her arms crossed and her back rigid like that. You wish they would stop fighting and come back out; you'll stop riding the bike and everything if it's that big a deal.

"I call her as often as I can, and I'm here for at least one weekend every month. If I could be here more I would…"

"Don't lie." Your dad covers his eyes with his hand. "Kanaya calls more often than you do. Casey's going to start calling her mom pretty soon."

"Isn't that what you want, though? It seems like every time I'm here you're so eager to tell me how I'm not being a proper mother."

"Rose, you know that's not true!"

You feel sick. You don't really want to be listening to this anymore, but you can't bring yourself to move away from the door.

"It is, though. You resent me, and I can't pretend that you don't have reason to, but I also can't pretend to be something I'm not."

"I don't resent you!" Dad has forgotten all about volume control by now, voice echoing loud enough for the whole house to hear.

There is a moment's silence, with the shuffle of fabric and your heart beating so loud you're sure they must be able to hear it.

He brings his voice back down before speaking again. "…Fine. Maybe I do, and maybe you should try to suck it up for a while for our daughter's sake!"

"Yes. Our daughter, who we agreed would be better in your care."

"That doesn't mean—"

"You know I love her dearly, but my being here will not be good for either of us. I will be involved, I will make sure she knows I've not forgotten her, but I don't see why you're so insistent that spending time together is necessary."

"…What happened to you?" Your dad sinks down onto the piano bench, collapsing into his hands.

She slides down next to him, voice gentler than before. "I made a choice. Casey has you and Jade and Dave, and Kanaya too. She will be fine. There are just some things I wasn't meant for."

Your body finally unfreezes, and you are done with listening. You don't care how much noise you're making, or that you didn't finish dinner, or even that there's ice cream waiting in the fridge. You barrel up the stairs to your bedroom as fast as you can, ignoring your Dad's muffled shouting behind you.

CK is waiting for you on the bed, a stupid adorable grin forever stitched into his face. There's a thumping of footsteps below you, doors opening and closing, and the sound of the car starting outside. You try your best to ignore it, but the tires squeal away and all you can do is cry.

Your Dad is at the door, knocking quietly, and you don't have the energy to make him go away. Footsteps draw closer, and your mattress sinks under the weight of a new person.

"Caseadoodle?" He rubs your back gently. "I'm really sorry you had to hear that…"

"It's fine." You mutter. "I don't care. Tell mom to stay away and leave us alone."

"You do care, and that's okay."

"I don't!" It doesn't matter, you keep telling yourself. Mom was right. You do have Dad and Dave and Jade, and Adam and Jane and Kanaya and Karkat and Dirk and big Dirk and they all like spending time with you. Having Mom read to you and bring you presents isn't that great, and you don't need her either.

"Hey…" He wraps an arm around your shoulder, and before you know what you're doing you have your face buried in his side. He pulls you into a hug that feels more wonderfully protective than you want to admit.

"You don't hate me, right?" Your voice is nearly lost in the cotton of his shirt, but you think he can hear you.

"Never. Love you higher than the sky." His arms tighten around you.

"…so why does mom?"

He stills for a moment, holding you very close before kissing the top of your head.

"She doesn't hate you, Case. Not even a little."

"She went home, didn't she."

"…Not because of you."

"Then why?" You're sick of sniffling, but holding it in isn't working very well. You keep telling yourself that you're not a crier, you're not a scaredy-cat, you're not ready to let mom win. You just wish your eyes would listen.

His hand rubs soothing circles into your shoulder. "She left because she has Mom things to worry about, and I promise she will call you as soon as she can."

"She better." You wipe your nose and pull back, refusing to meet your Dad's eyes.

The two of you sit in silence for a while, his hand on your shoulder while you glare down at CK. You shouldn't be glaring at CK, either; this isn't his fault. He's just so easy to glare at.

"Hey you." Your Dad's voice is so startling you nearly jump out of your skin. "What if I brought out the pool tomorrow?"

You blink in surprise. Dad hasn't brought out the inflatable pool in over a year.

"It might be a bit small for you by now, but if we get the sprinkler going too it could be fun."

"…You're just trying to change the subject." Dad only tries changing the subject when there's something wrong that he can't fix.

"Mhm." He nods, a light smirk spreading across his face. "Is it working?"

You pause to think. "Can Adam come too?"

"If he wants to, I don't see why not. I'll have it set up tomorrow."

Well… you're okay with this. "I'm gonna call and ask him right now!"

"It's getting late, Casey. He might be in bed by now, like you should be."

"I am in bed." You grin.

"Sleeping." He pushes you down with a finger to your forehead, and you flop back into the pillows with ease.

"I don't wanna be sleeping, though, I'm not even tired! All mom did was read me a book and then get mad and leave. I should at least get to watch TV for a bit."

"No sleep now or no pool tomorrow. Your choice." You hate it when he does that, but you squeeze your eyes shut anyway. There's the click of a lamp turning off, and you hope he hasn't found your hidden reading light yet. You can play a little more after he leaves.

"Goodnight, Casemonster." He kisses your forehead and pulls the blankets up over your shoulders, and for a little bit you can forget about fighting and two-wheeled devices and the sound of your mom driving off into the night.

== Be John

You're exhausted and drained and close to crying yourself, but out of frustration more than anything. Casey needs her mother. It shouldn't be that difficult to figure out, especially for a professional psychiatrist.

You take out your phone to call her again, only to realize it's already vibrating. It takes you a moment to steel yourself in anger and set your mind straight.

"Rose? Listen, you have some serious nerve running out on us like that, if you don't—"

"Wow, honey, you really know how to make a lady feel welcome."

You nearly drop the phone in embarrassment. "Simone?!"

"That's right, but if you'd rather keep shouting to your baby mama be my guest."

"N-no! I mean, no." You fumble a bit, trying to get the phone a little closer to your ear. Oh god, she's actually calling you. Why would a po— adult actress be calling you?

"So you gave me the right number after all. Want to get dinner tomorrow night?" She practically purrs it into the phone, and your stomach flips its way up to your throat.

"Yeah… I mean, wait, no, I promised Casey I'd spend tomorrow with her. Um… is next Friday okay? Or the weekend?"

"Next Friday sounds great. Pick me up at seven? I'll text you my address."

"Right. Course. Seven. I'll be there…" You're in a bit of a daze. This was just about the last thing you expected after such and exhausting night.

"See you then, honey. Wear something nice." The line goes dead before you can get another word out.

You toss the phone down on your coffee table and sink into the couch to relax.

…You have a date. Your daughter is having a crisis because her mom thinks spending time with her is unnecessary. What are you doing, and more importantly, why are you so stupidly giddy about it?