Love… a great man once said that to be in love is simply to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia. I'm not sure what he means. XD
But I did get this, though love can be expressed in scientific saying and mathematical calculations it's the magic of not being sure but loving it anyway.
At the age of 12 I thought I could do without it, I thought I could go through life without having someone to love and that would be fine. But now I realize I can't, because love is the most wonderful thing in this world. It's hope, happiness, and trust all wrapped into an easy to carry package. I realize that that kind of comfort and just the fact that it's special for you and the person you love, no one else has your love.
Special.
Three Years Later
I woke up in my cage, I was at least sure of that, but there was no light. Everything was encased in a cellophane wraps of suffocating darkness. I scrambled around by feel and by memory, making my way to the cage door and opening it. With my wings stretched out for support from the bars I felt around the outside of my little home with my claws. They met with cold rough fabric. It was easy enough to rip a hole in it. Artificial light poured into the cage from the small opening and the sudden, though soft, light temporarily blinded me.
This is just like that time we were captured. I thought. Except this time I did the ripping… and this time… I'm all alone.
Jewel… the name echoed in my mind, bouncing off of my memories of her, fluttering around before finally taking back residence within my heart. The place it had claimed for its own 3 years ago.
Stop thinking about her! I chastised myself. You should be trying to figure out where you are, trying to figure out where Linda is! Not thinking about a bird you're never going to see again in your life and who you THINK you love!
The brutality of my own thoughts shocked me from my stupor. I've been away from her for three years… it's a long time, enough time for me to realize that I did love her, each night I've been away, I would picture the short times we've been together, changing the things I did wrong in my mind, replaying the scenes over and over again, seeing her face, each night. My photographic memory remembering ever little detail, the way she breathes, the way she blinks, the way she had looked, so peaceful, as she was sleeping… but still, I didn't have too much time for that.
I examined the little hole I had made in the material. It was definitely big enough to see through. Putting aside my depressing thoughts I looked through the opening.
Outside the peephole I had made I could see an endless sea of colorless gray; from gray walls to gray boxes, cages, and crates. In the midst of all that gray I saw a few teenagers standing in a circle. They all wore gray. A buzzing drone radiated in my eardrums as I realized they were talking. Craning my neck I tried to hear what they were saying.
"Yasmin! Are the animals all organized?" The biggest kid, the kid that's the closest to me asked.
"Yeah." Replied the girl across from him. She gestured to a pile of crates beside me. "This batch is going to Spain, this one to Madagascar."
Then she pointed to me.
"-and this batch is going to Rio."
Rio? Her words struck me in the face. I fell back into the cage soundlessly, reeling from what she had just told me. I'm going back to Rio? I thought. I might even see J- NO! Focus!
As the brief blanket of hope and happiness flew away to where I couldn't follow I realized something else. Linda… Where is she? Am I ever going to see her again? If these guys have done anything to her… I have to find out more!
"-Hah, another victory for the Youth Activist Group For Endangered Animals!" One of them said and they all proceeded to congratulate themselves.
Y.A.G.F.E.A? That's the worst acronym I've ever heard. But at least I know what's going on. They're natural enthusiasts and they want to send me back to Rio. Even though I'm pretty sure they stole me I have to understand their point of view. I'm the last of my species beside Jewel (Jewel… the word is not easily used…), and I guess they don't want a nearly extinct species in the hands of a random bookstore owner, and… though I'll miss Linda… part of me is still attached to Rio de Janeiro, to her.
I'll miss you Linda, but I have to do this. I thought to myself.
Me and Jewel sat high in the favelas of Rio. The sun setting in the distance, as we watched wing in wing. In the last moments I turned to look at her and I saw her own eyes shine back at me. In all her glory, not a feather out of place and not a speck of beauty missing. I sagged under so much radiance.
I lifted the wing in front of me and said "I love you Jewel, I would die for you if would want me to."
Jewel wrapped her wings around me in a hug as the day finally turned into night. "I love you, too." she whispered as the stars came out to greet us.
I woke up. The cover wasn't there anymore and the light of day was truly gone, I could see the stars as they drifted in the sky, a cloud currently blocking the moon.
A little kid was opening my cage and we were surrounded by trees and vines of the rainforest, but more importantly in front of me was the stone and wood structure that me and Jewel spent our first night together in. Painfully wonderful memories stirred me completely awake.
"Come on little buddy, back to your home." The boy said as he grabbed me around the chest, ruffling some feathers and setting me on the ground. With that he walked away leaving alone with my thoughts. Of which the first of them were to try and see if I could find Rafael.
The wind in my feathers was refreshing as I drifted across the Jungle floor. I may not be in my element but walking/running is still my forte, my photographic memory bringing back the exact way to reach my destination. I made great time and pretty soon I was standing to where the stone had broken the chain that kept us together… 3 years ago... looking back I'm almost sad now that it had worked… but I wouldn't keep Jewel from flying anymore than I would stop loving her.
"Rafael! Are you there?"
"Huh." His voice ran out from that hollow over the hill. "Who's that, Eva wait here."
Poking his head out from the little hollow he drifted down into the clearing.
"Hey I know you…" He said. "Blu right? I thought you went back to Minnesota."
"Yeah I did, that was three years ago. Things change." I replied.
"Yeah that they do… so what brings you to my home?"
"Yeah I'm sorry to bother you-"
"Not at all."
"Thanks, I don't suppose you know where Jewel is do you? She was the other blue Macaw that was with me, 3 years ago?"
"Oh yeah she's famous, last of her kind you know. Just like you I guess."
"Yeah… just like me…"
"Ah, I see, you came looking for love didn't you?"
How… how did he know? I was taken aback… apparently my expression was all he needed to be sure.
"Ah, well Rafael is here to help. She lives about 10 minutes fly from here that way." He pointed to the North Star. "But I think for you it'll be… around 30 minutes walk. Just look for the only pear tree around here, she's taken up living there for now. I got to go, family you know, but come back if you ever need anything okay?"
"R-really?" I said surprised by his kindness.
"Yeah who am I to stand in the way of love, and I like you Blu, you have coração. You have heart."
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind, bye!" I said as I ran back into the deep, dar- don't think like that Blu.
Well I headed in Jewel's direction, which was where I was going.
That thought speared the fear of danger and death away and as if some monster was vanquished I felt relieved to be so sure of my mission. Tranquility and excitement came over me as I gained surety from the feel of the ground beneath my feet, with my passion to light the way I stole into the night.
In the distance a young coral snake hunts for prey. It tastes the air, searching for scents. She find one, slithering along the terrain she looks forward to the taste of fresh bird.
Rafael was right it took me around 30 minutes for me to get to the tree; it was the only pear tree for as far as I can see. Breathing heavily and enjoying the thrill of a 30 minute run I looked up into the canopy. My heart leaped into my throat as I spied a passing glimpse of azure feathers, dancing betwixt the leaves, needing no further encouragement I began to climb.
Over head the cloud finally passed the moon, and by its light I was able to grab onto claw holds and beak holds, nimbly, and steadily travelling up the tree. I did not hear the shake of rustling bushes below me.
The snake tastes the air again. Yes she was close. Her prey was above her, and... Oh... but what is this? Another bird! She flashed a serpentine smile in the silvery light. Her stomach was going to be full tonight. Feeling happy she began slithering up the tree.
With a last leap, supported by a glide from my wings I made it onto the braches. Looking around I saw Jewel sleeping on a branch next to mine.
My heart dissolved into powder and her name drifted out, taking up her form and shape, as beautiful as when I first saw her. She flew up from within my chest and into my head. I knew at that moment she was never going to leave it, she was never going to leave my mind.
Something moved inside my peripheral vision and I spun around to greet it, but nothing was there. My brows furrowed in confusion. What. I thought, positive that I had seen something there. I move a few inches down the branch, prepared to jump on to the one that supported Jewel. In the place I had been two seconds before snipped a pair of snake fangs, its eyes were white lights of fury pointed at my head.
Without giving me another second to think the snake coiled and sprung forward again. I jumped back out of its way and smacked it on the head... that only served to irritate it. It attention leaving me it turned its head towards Jewel eyeing her with a look of primal hunger… sleeping Jewel, helpless Jewel, my Jewel.
With a battle-squawk I leaped up from my branch a few seconds before the snake struck forward. My angle matching up with its spring just before he bit down on Jewel, instead its fangs met my left wing.
Pain blossomed and spread like dandelions in spring, all along my feathers, stemming from the punctures within my wings. The snake let out a triumphant hiss as it opened its mouth and reared up, malicious intent scribbled onto its black pupils. Acid still flowing through my veins, I braced against the pain and straightened myself. If I'm going to go, it'll be done defending Jewel.
A little voice echoed in the back of my head. You didn't even tell her you loved her yet…
I know but I can't think about that now.
The snake struck again. I tried to jump out of the way but I wasn't fast enough, pain was making my actions sluggish. With my wings held out in front of me I grabbed its mouth before it could kill me. In the moonlight I could see the venom drip out from the fangs in its gaping maw, and run down my unhurt wing. We crashed into the trunk of the tree with a resounding thunk. My back jolting another signal of pain to my already weary consciousness.
But then suddenly, a break, high above, an overripe pear jostled by the crash snapped from its resting place with a small click. The world slowed down as the poison flowed through my system, I stayed awake long enough to see the pear fall to land on the snake, and to hear someone in the distance yell. "Que ...Blu! O que você está fazendo aqui?"
(It means "Who... Blu! What are you doing here?")
Jewel. She was my last thought before my mind slipped away.
Light. Bright light. So bright that it was all that was there, all around me… who am I? Am I real?
Pain! Bright pain. Searing away the light and leaving only blackness, peace and tranquility.
To just be black, to be nothing… it seemed so easy…
Blu! A voice called out in the nothing. Was that my name? Who am I? Am I real?
A bird fluttered in the distance, deep in the blackness a pinpoint of blue. I could only watch, and I couldn't move… I'm not real. I realized with sadness. If I was real I could move and see who this is.
The bird flew in circles as if trying to get my attention. Hey… I remember her… Her name was… J- Je…
JEWEL the name chased away the black and I found myself with my body again. Realizing I was lying down I jumped into the air and flew before I realized I couldn't…
I'm… flying…? I look up at the blue dot… it was getting smaller.
"No, please wait." I called out to it. Leaving common sense behind I flew upwards and upwards, gaining on the blue bird, Jewel… my Jewel. "Jewel, wait! I love you!"
Flying faster than I thought possible the dot grew bigger and bigger, until I was close enough to touch her. Still flapping I reach out a wing, to turn her around… to get her to stop.
PAIN!PAIN!PAIN!PAIN!PAIN!PAIN!PAIN!PAIN!PAIN!PAIN!pain!pain!pain!pain!-
Gasping, my eyes flew open and I looked around me. I was… back on the pear tree… I tried to sit up only to have my wings burn off in my mind. I went back to lying down. The sun was high in the sky and Jewel's voice rang out from somwhere in the left.
"Oh thanks goodness you're alright. I was sure you were going to die and… th-… thuh-anks for saving my life." She rolled the thank you around in her mouth as if she wasn't use to saying it. I was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard.
I turned my head towards her. "Jewel. You're okay." I said completely and utterly happy as she placed a couple of berries on the branch we were on.
"Well of course I'm okay; you're the one I'm worried about. You're just lucky that was a young coral snake and that she didn't get too much poison in you!" She squawked. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you went back to Minnesota?"
I pulled myself together not caring about the pain as I sat up to grab her wings.
"Wait what are you doing? You have to rest!" She said trying to urge me to lie back down.
"No wait Jewel I have to tell you… I came back… to find you because…" I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. "Because, I love you."
Jewel looked shocked, no completely dumbstruck.
For a second nothing happened.
Suddenly in one swift motion she let go of my wing and pushed me back down.
"No, you don't."
What? I thought.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean that I don't love you and you shouldn't love me." Her voice was reaching a crescendo.
"But I- I do! I do love you!" I stutter, trying to form the words to say.
"No! We barely know each other!" She screeched. "And you thought that I would love you? In your dreams!"
With that, she flew away, the air filling the space she just was. Leaving only the roaring silence as my company. I'm not sure if my heart was broken because I couldn't feel anything anymore... nothing at all, just a dull throb within my wings to remind me I'm still alive.
In my dreams?
"I know." I whispered as I watched her fly away. "Every day."
PLEASE REVIEW (even if you don't have a good reason to, I like to hear what you guys think)
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