Sherlock is totally a closet perv! John your ass is toast! It's short because I'm tired and couldn't think anymore! I promise next chapter will be longer!

He wanted to be a Pirate

Chapter Three

Sherlock drummed his fingers against the table, glaring at the other occupants and wishing for the power to vaporize. What should have been a nice chat between him and John about his new position as the ship's doctor and other things had been crashed by the arrival of the dimwitted duo –Anderson and Sal- followed closely by Irene who was currently seated in his lap, Molly by his side like the good puppy she was and Lestrade chatting up John.

"So John I heard Military men are exceptionally well developed, care to give us a demonstration?" Lestrade had said with a leering wink, causing John to blush.

Sherlock was about ready to throw Irene of his lap, snap at Molly, punch his second in command and shoot Anderson dead, in that order. Only he could make the doctor blush, he'd been the one to find him. John was His! Besides Lestrade was a playboy and would leave John the moment another pretty face came along.

The small room with only the long table as decoration and a map on the far wall felt smaller than usual and Sherlock kept imaging throwing Sal and Anderson out the right window and into the dark sea, they may have been good assets at the time but after twenty minutes he had wanted them gone. This was not how he had planned the evening to go.

"Darling am I not enough for you anymore?" Irene purred as she seductively ran a finger up his chest, licking her lips.

In the dim lighting of the swing lamp on the ceiling Sherlock caught John's expression which was almost unreadable; he was either upset about her words or holding in laughter. Not one to lie, even to himself, Sherlock admitted it was probably the latter. John didn't hold any feeling for him at the moment. He didn't realize how perfect he was, how utterly magnificent they could be together but Sherlock knew and he planned to do something about this situation, starting with Irene and ending with a bloody Anderson.

"You've never been, nor will you ever be enough for me." Sherlock said coldly, taking pleasure as her elegant face fell with dejection.

Irene sniffed haughtily as she stood up, Lestrade whistled and Anderson patted his own lap. "I can get far more men than you'd ever dream of with these." The women said running her hands over her plump breasts and down her stomach, her fingers disappearing into the space between her thighs as she moaned wantonly.

John blushed deeply, at her actions thoroughly embarrassed at her display of sexuality. Molly and Sal looked equally as uncomfortable but far more excepting. Irene saunter away from Sherlock being sure to sway her hips just so. She smoothly sat down next to John and smiled at him.

"I feel hot," she breathed as she grabbed John's hand pressing it over her chest, directly on the smooth skin of her bosom. "Do I have a fever? Doctor can you fix it for me?"

John blushed an even deeper red as he removed his hand away from Irene and gently pushed her away, not at all comfortable with her advances. As a military man and doctor he had far too much respect for women to do anything to the beautiful seductress in front of him. And honestly she wasn't doing much for him anyway. Lestrade pounded the table happily, claiming they needed to get a room while Anderson offered to take John's 'problem' away from him. No longer able to stand it anymore, Sherlock stood up, his chair loudly scraping on the wooden floor and bringing silence to the roughty room and all eyes on him.

"Irene I did not bring John here for your personal pleasure, please remove yourself from the good doctor. Molly, go get my cane and Anderson do us all a favor and throw yourself out a window." Sherlock deadpanned.

Molly scrambled to do as her captain ordered and fell over herself running out the door, she didn't even have time to close it. Irene regretfully scooted away from John, putting a foot between her and the doctor. Greg put his head on the table and laughed until tears where streaming down his face, while Anderson huffed and crossed his arms, pouting, except he wasn't that good looking so it made his already squished face appear ugly.

"I'm not some damsel in distress that needs their honor to be saved," John muttered angrily, sticking out in lower lip in a pout.

Sherlock swallowed heavily. The captain reached down and tightly gripped the edge of the table. Oh how he wanted to throw the table out of the way and just take John then and there. His cute pouting face was making Sherlock's tight leather pants even more restricting. Sherlock didn't want to defend John's honor, oh no he wanted to desecrate it himself and make a dirty dirty mess. Luckily Molly returned in record time before Sherlock followed through with his perverted thoughts and deflowered his future friend and right hand man in front of his crew, well most of his crew.

"Here." She said with a shy smile thrusting the silver can in front of Sherlock, the captain looked down at molly with a single raised eyebrow before jerking his chin in John's direction. Molly stuttered and apology and rushed to hand the can to John.

"I don't need this."

"Your injured." Sherlock shot back. Was John being stubborn because of his pride or he didn't want anything from Sherlock?

Lestrade looked up from his laughing fit and sobered up. "He's right the cane would help."

"I can manage just fine." John shot back stubbornly. Molly shifted uncomfortably next to the navy doctor, still holding out the cane he refused to take.

Irene laughed and took the cane from Molly who scurried back to her previous chair. Irene pushed the cane at John. "It's a gift, he never gives gifts so take it and be happy."

John reluctantly took the cane, rubbing a thumb over the top. "Thank you."

Sherlock sat down with a happy smile, having won this round. "Ms. Hudson!" He bellowed suddenly startling his crew.

John jumped at the bellow and stood up so quickly he dropped the silver cane and overturned his chair. The doctor's leg was still newly injured and raw and the sudden weight made the man unstable. Having a genius mind that worked twice as fast than the other humans he was forced the breath the same air with, Sherlock was already out of his seat and moving towards the doctor. Shoot each of his crew members a meaningful glare, daring them to even think of touching his doctor. He'd enjoy experimenting on their dead bodies. With the grace only a Holmes and felines could ever possess, Sherlock slipped forward and easily wrapped his arms around the falling man. His right arm latched around John's shoulders as his left dipped to pick up the man's knees and to finish it off he still managed to catch the silver can in his right hand. Sherlock turned on his heel and walked back to his seat carrying the doctor bridal style. He then sat down with an elated grin, John firmly wrapped in his embrace.

"Let go of me." John growled as he tried to squirm out of Sherlock's thin arms, which were much stronger then they appeared.

"Love birds." Sal muttered as Anderson sneered.

The comment made John's squirming increase. Sherlock only glared at the two vowing death for each, a painful and slow one as he increased pressure on his vice grip. Irene looked down at her nails boredly while Molly looked away her eyes rimmed with tears and Lestrade offering her a shoulder. Ms. Hudson chose to appear carrying a tray of tea and a bright smile. She wore a simple purple dress and looked like she belonged in a stone cottage then a pirate ship. She didn't hesitate at the odd scene before her and instead proceeded to walk in and place the silver tray in front of Sherlock.

"You must be John," The kind elderly woman said. "I see your legs bothering you, I have a hip. Be sure to go easy one yourself."

John blinked in surprise that the woman knew who he was and that his leg was even injured, it wasn't obvious unless he walked. He also noticed Ms. Hudson had only brought two cups of tea. The elderly woman turned to the rest of the crew and simply folded her arms over her chest and smiled even more kindly.

"I think we should give them time to talk, yes?"

Instantaneously Irene, Lestrade, Anderson, Sal and Molly disappeared out the door at lightning speed. Rushing to obey the woman. Ms. Hudson turned back to Sherlock and winked as she exited the room. Leaving John still trapped in Sherlock lap.

"How did you know my name?" John managed to blurt out before the woman left him alone with the strange captain.

"He hasn't stopped talking about you for months dear." Ms. Hudson chuckled as she closed the door.

John twisted in Sherlock's arms, until their faces where inches apart. The doctor was seething. The captain had been following him!

"You where stalking me?" John snarled, growing still in Sherlock arms.

Sherlock racked his brains for the appropriate response but couldn't come up with one so he nodded his head. If looks could kill, all of Sherlock crew would have been vaporized years ago and Sherlock would be a boiling mess in his chair. John looked ready to rip his throat out.

"How long?" The doctor managed to say between clenched teeth.

Not seeing the point in lying Sherlock admitted the honest truth. "Since you saved me from your naval buddies at a bar in London when I was fifteen and you where twenty. I lost track of you at twenty three but then I found you again fourteen months ago. You promised me you'd help me become the greatest pirate captain there ever was and search for gold, so I came and collected you"

"Don't lie to me you bastard." John balled his fist in anger and punched Sherlock jaw. The captain let go of him as he rolled away. Quickly stumbling out of the room, leaving the door swinging in his wake. Sherlock clutched his throbbing jaw, his normally cold eyes raw with emotions.

"I'd never lie to you John, it's all true."

Thanks for reading!

Islandwitch- I'm soo pleased you find this soo funny!

Faith Robin- Thanks for reading even if you were bored!

LittleMissDreamer7- I'm gonna be honest. I feel like you're my number one fan because you're always the first to review and you're reading all 3 of my Sherlock stories and it kinda makes me giggle! So I ADORE YOU AND THANKS A BUNCH! here's a virtual cookie!

Eby- I'm glad you read this tooo..hope ch3 was just as good!

Dianaj2w- Wow your soo excited with makes me excited XD

Wargh- Pirate!Lock is my fav too and I've only found like 3 of them so mine is number 4 YEAHHHHH my fav number!

Kyer- My best friend walk in on me saying the Christmas lines with the jokers voice….she thinks my batman obsession has now gone too far! But your soo right!