Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, all rights go to RIB and Fox. I also don't own any of the songs that these one shots are based off, all rights go to Taylor Swift.
A/N: Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, I'm glad that this is getting a positive reception. This one shot is actually set in the canon glee universe, after Finn and Rachel broke up the first time. This song is one of my favourite Taylor Swift songs, so I hope you all like this. I've changed a few details of Finn and Rachel's breakup from canon but the reasons are the same.
"So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night"
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realised what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time"
-Back To December, Taylor Swift
Chapter 3: I go back to December all the time
Rachel
I tap my fingers nervously on the table as I wait for him to walk in. I never thought that he'd agree to it. Not after the way I broke his heart. I was so stupid, kissing Puck. I threw away the best guy I've ever had and now he's never going to forgive me. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and all I can think about is how much I miss him. He agreed to see me, so he must have forgiven me a little. Or so I tell myself. I've tried to apologize a million times but he never answers his phone or his door.
"Rach?" a voice says, breaking into my reverie.
"Finn, I'm so glad you came" I say standing up. I'm not sure whether to go for a hug or a handshake but Finn decides for me. He holds out his hand and I shake it.
"I wasn't going to. But I guess I just can't stay away" he says. The pain in his eyes is recognizable to me; it's the same pain that's in mine.
"How have you been?" I ask.
"I've been fine" he says brusquely.
"How's Kurt? I haven't seen him since my birthday" I say.
"He misses you a lot but he's having a great time at Dalton. He has this crush on a guy there, his name's Blaine I think" Finn says.
"Have you met him?" I ask.
"No, I haven't yet" he replies.
"Tell Kurt that he can still see me. Just because we broke up, doesn't mean I don't want to be friends with him anymore" I say.
"I have. I think Kurt's just been busy at school, him not seeing you has nothing to do with me" he says.
"How about your mom?" I ask.
"If it's possible I think she misses you more than I do" he says.
"I always loved your mom" I say.
"She wants me to get back together with you. Says you're good for me. As if I don't know that" he says.
"I'm sorry Finn. I really am. I know I hurt you badly but you have to believe me when I say that the kiss with Puck was nothing more than a stupid mistake" I say.
"Like you believed me when I say that thing with Santana was a stupid mistake and it meant nothing?" he says coldly.
"The two things were completely different!" I protest.
"Yes, I wasn't with you when I slept with Santana, you cheated on me with Puck-believe me, I know how different they are" he says.
"How many times do I have to apologise before you forgive me?" I ask.
"I don't know Rach. Maybe never" he says.
"If you don't want to forgive me then why did you come here?" I ask.
"Because I wanted to see you" he says, his eyes softening a little.
"Well that was what I wanted to say. I wanted to apologize for what I did and I wanted you to actually hear it this time" I say.
"I'm sorry Rachel but I still can't forgive you. So if that's what you want from me, then you may as well go" he says.
"Fine" I say. I have to cover my face until I am out of the coffee shop so he doesn't see the tears streaming down my face. I turn on the radio in my car and the Taylor Swift song I have been playing on repeat since our breakup comes on. As it plays all I can think about is the night that Finn dumped me in the Christmas tree lot.
Flashback
We finish singing the song and there he is standing in front of me. This is my last chance to get him back, I know that. We stare at each other in silence for a few seconds before we fall into an amazing, passionate kiss.
"You can't do this Rach. You can't sing a song and kiss me, thinking it will make everything right again. You really hurt me" he says.
"I'm sorry! It was a stupid mistake. I don't love Puck, I love you. I always have and I always will" I say.
"That's not enough. You cheated on me Rach and that's not okay" he says.
"I don't know what else to do. Tell me what to do" I say, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"There's nothing you can do. Rachel, I'm done" he says.
"What do you mean you're done? You're giving up on us?" I ask.
"I'm giving up on you. This is it Rachel, I'm officially breaking up with you" he says. He turns and walks away from me, leaving me crying in a heap on the floor. I take out the rose from behind my back. I was going to give it to him as a symbol of our love. Instead I place the rose on the floor and then I crush it with my foot. Our love is dead-at least to him and so is the rose.
End of flashback
I watch him walk out of the coffee shop and just like me, he seems to be crying. It's not something I'm used to seeing, Finn always seemed so strong and solid to me. I turn the key in the ignition and drive away. If I have to watch Finn break down then I just might fall apart myself.
That night, I sit by the window watching the snow fall. Somewhere Finn is probably doing the same thing. He always loved the snow-whenever it started snowing he acted like a little kid, so happy and excited. I can't sleep, all I dream about is him. Instead I just watch the snow.
Flashback
My seventeenth birthday came soon after Finn broke up with me. My dads were throwing a huge birthday party for me downstairs but I just couldn't enjoy it. The most important person in the world to me wasn't here. I keep staring at the phone waiting for it to ring. I don't know why I was expecting him to.
A knock comes at the door. "Rachel?" a small voice says.
"Come in" I whisper.
Kurt's head pokes around the door. "Your dads wanted you to come downstairs, it's time to cut the cake" he says.
"I'm not hungry" I say.
"You can't just stay up here all night" he says.
"I can't pretend to be happy when it feels like my heart is breaking" I say.
"It might make you feel better" he says.
"Nothing will ever make me feel better" I say.
"Why are you staring at your phone?" he asks.
"I was hoping he'd call. Why didn't he call?" I ask.
"I don't know. He's completely heartbroken Rachel, I promise you that" he says.
"He should have called" I say falling onto Kurt and crying onto his shoulder.
"I know sweetie" he says stroking my hair as I cry, all night long.
End of flashback
Maybe I shouldn't have asked to see him, but I needed to apologise one last time. I still haven't been able to admit that it's truly over between us but after seeing how cold he was to me today I have to. He's not like the Finn I dated. He's hurt and broken hearted just like I am. Why can't he realise that the only thing that can put him back together again is me? That we were amazing together? That he was the best thing I ever had?
I feel the tears start to roll down my cheeks again so I blink the tears away from my eyes and concentrate on watching the snow swirl to the ground. It's really coming down hard now. I can't think about anything but Finn so I decide to take my old photo albums out of the closet. I turn the page to my favourite picture, one of Finn and I, the summer we started dating.
Flashback
"Rach, come on we're going to be late" Finn calls. He's picking me up for our first official date-well technically it's our first trip away as a couple but we will have our first official date whilst we're away.
"I'm coming, I'm coming" I say running down the stairs to meet him, luggage in hand. It's a surprise trip, all I know is that we're going away somewhere for a week.
"Hi" I say smiling.
"Hi" he says, smiling that sexy half smile of his, and then he kisses me. We walk out to his truck together and like the gentleman he is, he helps me into the car.
"Now are you going to tell me where we're going?" I ask.
"It wouldn't be a surprise then would it?" he says.
"I guess not" I admit.
"You're gonna love it" he says.
"I'm with you, of course I will" I say. We drive for a while, singing together. I hadn't realised how lonely it was singing in the car alone before but I do now that I have someone to sing with.
I assumed for our first date that Finn would take me to Breadstix, but after he takes the road that leads out of Lima, I am stumped to where he could be taking me.
"Okay just tell me, are we going somewhere that's in the state?" I ask.
"All I'm telling you is that it will take a while to drive there and what I've already told you which is that we'll be staying a week" he says.
"Is it a long drive?" I ask.
"About 10 hours" he says.
"10 hours? Where the hell are we going that it takes ten hours to get there?" I ask.
"Not telling. That's why we had to leave early though" he says.
"Can you not just give me a hint?" I ask.
"Nope. Now let's find another song to sing" he says turning up the radio. I know he knows how much it is irritating me to not know where we are going and I think he's enjoying it.
I fall asleep about halfway through the trip. It's not dark yet but being on the road has made me tired. I'm not entirely sure how long it's been when Finn starts to poke me.
"We're here, Rach" he says.
"How long was I out for?" I ask.
"We'd been driving for about five hours when you fell asleep" he says laughing.
"What are you laughing at?" I ask.
"You, you're just the cutest sleeper ever" he says.
"So now that we're finally here will you tell me where we are?" I ask.
"Virginia" he says smiling.
"You drove me all the way to Virginia?" I ask.
"Yes I did" he says.
"I assumed you were taking me somewhere in Ohio" I say.
"I thought about that but I decided that it would be more romantic to take you for a vacation in a different state" he says.
"It is" I say kissing him. He takes a basket out of the back of the truck and we start to walk.
"So where are we going?" I ask.
"The beach" he says smiling.
"You remembered?" I ask. When we first met I told him that my favourite memories from my childhood were our family vacations to Virginia Beach.
"I remember everything about you" he says kissing me softly. We walk to the beach together hand in hand. I kick off my shoes and enjoy the feeling of the sand between my toes as we walk along the beach.
Finn sets up the picnic and we sit down for a nice dinner. I hadn't realised how hungry I was in the car but now, looking at all this food, I just can't wait to eat.
"Dig in, and don't worry my mom made it" he says making me laugh. Finn is not exactly known for his cooking skills.
"Your mom makes the best vegan lasagne ever" I say between mouthfuls.
"She also makes the best meat one ever" he says.
"This is incredible Finn" I say.
"I wanted to make it as close to our date in the auditorium as possible. I mean that was technically our first date" he says.
"I guess it was. Hey you even managed to find the airplane cups" I say.
We eat our food, talking about our plans for the week that we were spending in Virginia and I feel so comfortable with him. After our dinner, he takes my hand.
"I know I'm the suckiest dancer but it seems like a romantic thing to do right now" he says. With the stars and the moonlight, dancing does seem like a nice thing to do.
"Just try to avoid the toes okay" I say making him laugh.
"I'll try" he says. He takes out his Ipod and puts on a song. I recognise the tune to Faithfully immediately. He smiles and takes me in his arms, and we dance together under the stars. He does step on my toes a little but I find that I don't care. It's perfect, like a moment from one of those romantic comedies that I love.
When the song finishes, he sweeps me off my feet and kisses me. I don't even notice him pulling out his camera and taking a picture. He places me down gently on the beach.
"I'll race you to the sea" he says, starting to run before he's finished his sentence.
"Hey no fair! You had a head start!" I yell chasing after him.
End of flashback
If only things could have stayed like that. We were so happy then. Maybe if he'd told me about Santana before then we could still be like that. Who am I kidding though? The only way we could be as happy as we were before is if I hadn't kissed Puck. I could have got over him and Santana eventually. But he's never going to get over the fact that I cheated on him, with the same guy that his last girlfriend cheated on him with.
He was the first guy that I ever loved. He told me that day at regionals but I didn't say it back until the fall of our junior year. I'm glad I waited in a way, because it was completely magical.
Flashback
It was the September of our junior year and Finn and I were sleeping in the back of his truck, looking up at the stars. I had just seen my mom with Beth at the mall; she hadn't even called to say she was back.
"Why didn't she call me?" I cry into his shoulder.
"Because she's a jerk Rach" he says.
"She had the chance to have a relationship with me last year and she let it go. Then she goes and replaces me with another girl's kid and now she doesn't even tell me when she's in town" I sob.
He lifts my head off his shoulder. "You listen to me Rach. You are the greatest person I have ever met. It is your mom's loss; that she doesn't want to know you and you shouldn't feel bad about it" he says wiping the tears away from my face. He's right, it's not my fault that my mom doesn't want to know me and I shouldn't feel bad about that, she should.
"I love you" I say.
"That's the first time you've ever said that" he says.
"I know. I wanted it to be perfect, and this, being here with you right now is perfect" I say.
"Well I love you too" he says kissing me. We cuddle up together and I fall asleep with my head on his chest.
End of flashback
I don't want to sit here anymore, I want to go and fight for Finn. I can't accept that something that was so good is just over. Without thinking about it, I walk out of the house and head for Finn's. I don't even put on a jacket which was probably a bad idea since it's been snowing heavily this evening and it's freezing outside.
Finn's mom's car is not in the driveway when I get there so it must just be Finn in the house alone. I know he's home because I can see him in the upstairs window. He is sitting in exactly the same position that I was, by the window watching the snow.
I knock on the door several times and I hear his footsteps coming down the stairs. The door doesn't open but I can hear his crying on the other side of the door.
"I know you hate me and you don't have to open the door if you don't want to. I know you're there so don't try to pretend you don't hear me. I love you and it's like I'm not a complete person without you. What I did with Puck was wrong and I know that. It was a stupid, spiteful mistake that I wish I'd never made because I know how much it hurts you. It's hard for me to admit when I've done something wrong, but I did and I know that our break up was all my fault. I can't live without you" I say. I pause and take a breath before continuing my speech.
"You are the most important thing in my life and if I could go back and not kiss Puck then I would but I can't. I'd go back to December and I stop myself from kissing him. Heck I'd go back and stop you from leaving me at that Christmas tree lot. I can't change it, all I can say is that I'm so incredibly sorry and that I'm not giving up on us. I will stand out here in the snow all night if that's how long it will take for you to forgive me and if that will show you how sorry I am. I truly am sorry Finn" I say. He doesn't make any noise but I know he's heard all of it. I take a step away from his front door.
It's completely freezing outside but I am true to my word. I stand outside in the snow, with only my thin jumper on until it feels like my fingers and toes are about to fall off. Then, finally I hear the sound of the door opening. I don't think I've ever been happier.
"I don't want to give up on us either Rach. You really hurt me with what you did with Puck but I understand that I hurt you when I lied about losing my virginity to Santana-for what it's worth, I wish it had been you. It might take me a while to trust you again but I'm willing to wait. I know that you're sorry and that I said I couldn't forgive you but I love you and I can't live without you. These last few weeks have been torture and we've both made mistakes but we can get past this" he says.
"So does this mean….." I say but he interrupts me with a kiss.
"Yes we're back together" he says. He takes something a wrapped box from out of his back pocket.
"I've been carrying this around since your birthday" he says handing it to me. I open the box and there is a beautiful star shaped necklace lying inside.
"A star for my star" he says attaching the necklace around my neck.
"It's beautiful" I say smiling.
"Just like you" he replies.
"I love you" I say.
"I love you more" he says.
"Not possible" I reply kissing him again.
"You look absolutely freezing, come on, let's get you inside" he says.
"Thank goodness, I thought you were going to make us stay outside all night" I say. He laughs and we walk back to his house together.
I don't have to go back to December anymore because I have him back. We might have to work through some issues, but together we can get through anything.
A/N: I know this was all from Rachel's point of view rather than Rachel and Finn's point of view like the last two chapters but I thought the chapter worked better like that-I finished this chapter quickly for you guys because I love this song so much and I really enjoyed writing my Finchel version of this song-I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much! So here's your four choices of song for the next chapter-All Too Well, State Of Grace, The Lucky One or Everything Has Changed. I hope you guys liked this chapter.
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