Well, everyone, here's chapter two! Enjoy! This one is dedicated to Angel for being such an awesome friend :).
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Chapter 2
Casey
I don't like guys. No, I am not saying I'm a lesbian, I am simply stating my opinion on specimens of the male kind in general. Guys are messy and irresponsible and smelly and they all think with their… crotch, to say it somewhat nicely. So, yeah, I don't like guys very much because if it weren't for them, then girls wouldn't have such complicated lives. The world would probably be a better place, too. Just think about it! Men have been in charge this whole time, and what do we get? Global warming and overpopulation. Stupid men.
Okay, so maybe I am a little bitter, but I have a perfectly good reason. I'm talking about the biggest jerk to ever have lived, even worse than Sulla in ancient Rome who posted a list of the people he hated and basically killed them all and eventually retired as a farmer in the countryside. Anyway, his name is Jordan and he is the worst guy ever and an idiot and I hate him. Actually, I used to love him, but that's beside the point. Why is he such an idiot? Because he just decided one day, after four years (yes, four) of dating, that he didn't want to be with me anymore, and why? Because my alleged best friend Katrina was better in bed.
Oh, and how long were they sleeping together for? You wanna know? They went behind my back, sneaking around and just fucking every chance they got for, oh, um, I don't know, about two years. You can imagine how I'd be mad, right? I mean, here's my boyfriend and my best friend, the last two people I'd ever expect something like this from, except that's what happened. My best friend of ten years and my boyfriend were sleeping together for two years. Oh, and where are they now? Well, now, a year after Jordan and I broke up, they're happily engaged and planning their wedding.
My mom always used to joke that I would end up a bitter old lady with 29 cats because I was "too serious" and "would scare guys away with my intensity." I guess I did, didn't I? Huh. Look at that. My mom was right. And after my asshole of an ex broke up with me, I spent approximately three months crying over him. No matter how many times my mom called and Lizzie came and knocked on my door, I wouldn't come out. When I do come out, Lizzie called me, desperate because she needed so much help and I was just so good at all this wedding planning stuff, I had to help.
I couldn't say no, could I? I mean, she's my little sister and I love her. I want to help with her wedding, and I am good at planning parties. So that's how I ended up as my sister's main party planner, which I totally knew she asked me to do to distract me, but I figured I'd help anyway. Better me than that idiot party planner anyway. "Call me Barbie," she would tell everyone. Freakin' retard. I could plan a wedding with my eyes closed better than she ever could.
Anyway, so I ended up helping with my sister's wedding, which was, of course, extremely distracting, so I guess my sister's idea worked.
Derek
"You're engaged?" I asked, looking at Edwin incredulously when he told me his news. Edwin, my little loser brother Edwin was getting married? Lizzie was hot, too! How the hell did that happen?
"Gee, Derek, don't be so nice. Yes, people do in fact get married quite often," Edwin said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, Lizzie and I love each other. Why wouldn't I marry her?"
"That should be pretty obvious, Edwin," I said. "Commitment is bad. Commitment is a no-no. Just look at me! I'm perfectly happy and not committed at all."
Edwin snorts, which is one of those really lame things he does all the time. "Yeah, you're only 'not committed at all' because Mandy or Mindy or whatever her name was broke up with you because you wouldn't commit," he said.
I guess he's right. Isn't he? I mean, Mindy – or was it Mandy? – had a great relationship (and an even better sex life) but I wasn't about to commit, so she broke up with me because she couldn't be in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere.
Maybe I'm just not made for commitment. Should I try it out, though? Maybe it won't be so bad.
Wait, whoa. What did Edwin put in my drink, that he's got me doubting my not-committed status? Seriously. I think I was drugged. I mean, I'm Derek Venturi. Girls are dying to go out with me, right? And I have had people (seriously, not just girls) swoon over me. So why would I want to commit to one person when I can have anyone I can?
"That's not true. I'm not committed because I don't want to be," I said, nodding, convinced of this. Except Edwin didn't seem so convinced, because he rolled his eyes again.
"Derek, be honest to yourself. When was the last time a girl broke up with you because you were a jerk or whatever other reason and not because you wouldn't commit?" Edwin asked.
I think about it. There's no way in hell he could ever be right. I mean, he's Edwin. Edwin just isn't made to be right. But… I mean, lately, all the girls I date break up with me because there's no future to our relationship.
This is awful! Could it be that I'm losing my popularity because of my reluctance to commit? Can that even happen? I mean, I'm Derek Venturi, for crying out loud! Stuff like this just doesn't happen to me!
"You look like you're panicking inside," Edwin said simply. I glared at him and rolled my eyes.
"I am not panicking, okay? Derek Venturi does not panic," I said. "Now stop talking or I will inevitably hit you."
Edwin rolled his eyes and stood up. "Alright, Derek. You're not panicking. I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later," he said.
I glared at his back until he disappeared, then frowned deeply. What the hell is going on? What am I going to do? What if – God forbid – I have to commit to a girl to have sex ever again?
That's it. I know what I have to do. I have to find a girl and date her and commit to her. That's what I'm going to do. It's what I have to do to be at the top of my game again.
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Haha, well, someone's determined. You know how it goes – leave me some love! Next chapter should be up this weekend if you're nice to me. LOL.