Some days Tim really had no idea what had happened to him.

He'd never really imagined himself being married. Sure, he'd thought about it, but after he and Abby ended things, he could never find the right girl. Tony insisting that he might be gay didn't help either.

And then one day he blinked and found himself standing in the Navy Yard chapel, wearing a tuxedo.

Tim looked around as if he was seeing things for the first time. Small bouquets of scarlet roses and black tulle adorned the edges of the pews. Multicolored flower petals were scattered along the aisle as the guests turned in their places to watch the wedding procession make their way to the front of the church. Tim noticed a photo of Kate Todd propped up in the front row; his wife-to-be had insisted that their old friend attend the day in spirit.

The bridesmaids slowly filed down the aisle on the arms of his closest friends. Tony and Ziva brought up the rear as the best man and maid of honor. They took their places on either side of the altar, watching the doorway for the bride to make her entrance.

Gibbs appeared in the doorway with the bride on his arm. She was wearing a veil over her face, but Tim could tell she was smiling as they walked towards him.

Tony gave him a discreet thumbs up from across the aisle.

A loud ringing sound brought Tim back to the present. He checked the grandfather clock in the corner of his study, rather unnecessarily as it was already chiming midnight, and decided he'd better get some sleep. As of right now it was Saturday, but he'd had to work on Christmas before so a call from Gibbs wouldn't be a shock. Pushing his chair back, he stumbled off to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join two people in holy matrimony. If anyone here has a reason why they should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

Silence.

"Ow!" Tim cursed under his breath and ran his finger under the tap. Mouthwash was like hand sanitizer- it was good for finding minuscule cuts on your fingers you didn't know you had.

How he had managed to get mouthwash on his hand was a whole different problem entirely.

He recited his wedding vows, hardly listening to what he was saying. He was just glad that he could speak at all. Usually when he was nervous he could only speak in sentence fragments punctuated by long periods of awkward silence and an overuse of the word "um."

When he was finished, she smiled up at him and said, without hesitation, "I, Abigail Scuido, take you, Timothy McGee, to be my husband."

He found out later he'd skipped an entire sentence. Abby, however, knew the entire ceremony by heart.

The door creaked as he went into the bedroom. Tim winced and shot a look over to the bed. Abby had once slept through a storm that shook the entire building, but he was still cautious about making noise at night. He'd seen what happened when she woke up early. Unless someone handed her a Caf-Pow as soon as she sat up, she would be impossible to deal with until she got one, which is why he had avoided being in the room when she woke up for the past eight months.

Abby was pregnant.

That meant no Caf-Pow.

Tim opened the door just enough to get in to the room and shut it again, earning another squeak. The table lamp on Abby's side of the bed clicked on and he froze.

"Tim?"

"Hey, Abby. Did I wake you up?" he asked, going to her.

Abby sat up. "No, Bert and I have been up for a while." She squeezed the hippo, who farted in response.

"Well, what's the matter? You've never woken up in the middle of the night before," Tim said.

"I know that, McGee! Don't talk to me like I'm a little kid." Abby frowned, reverting to calling her husband by his last name as she often did when annoyed. "Something feels... hinky."

"What kind of hinky?"

"I don't know, just hinky."

Tim sighed. "Do you want me to call Gibbs?"

"No!" Abby snapped. "We can't wake Gibbs up."

"He's probably awake working on his boat anyway-"

Abby squeezed Bert again. "Don't call Gibbs!"

"Fine." Tim held up his hands in defeat. "Fine, ok. No Gibbs. Look, Abs, we're both tired. Let's just get some sleep."

"Told you I can't sleep," Abby muttered, but she let Tim turn the light off and lay down anyway, begrudgingly accepting the kiss he pressed to her temple.

Tim woke from a dream about an earthquake the next morning to find that he really was being shaken. He pushed the hands away and sat up, squinting against the sunlight filtering through the window on the wall opposite the bed. "Abby?"

"McGee. Call Gibbs."

"What?"

"Call Gibbs," Abby repeated. "I figured out what's hinky."

Tim rubbed his eyes. "What's hinky?"

"Is the baby coming hinky enough for you?"

"What?" Tim demanded.

Abby punched Bert angrily. "You need to get your hearing checked! The baby! It's coming. Is that hinky enough for you?"