Hello everyone! Before we begin our story, I have some requests and notes.
About the late update, Microsoft's briefcase feature crashed and I lost all the premade chapters.
I have a total of 70 visitors on my story yet only four reviews. I got bored writing this because nobody said much about my story, so if I don't get more than two reviews I'll stop writing.
Yuti-Chan: I was in the school library moping about my failed assignment, when I checked your review. It brought tears to my eyes. I was like "OH YEAH! Somebody reviewed! To answer your question, Tobi and the real Madara will appear in this story. I just don't know if I should put Tobi on Itachi and Deidara's side or the Akatsuki.
Anon678: Your review touched my heart. TRUE critiscism.
Oh! Before I forget, thanks for subscribing Shark pimp.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I also have no ownership rights to: Star Wars, Fullmetal Alchemist, Harry Potter, Bleach, Sesame Street, Barney, Captain Planet and Calvin and Hobbes. However, I do own all of my friends, so that counts as something.
Behind the scenes of the Akatsuki
Chapter three: The first gathering of L.O.V.E
Sam E. Cee was not an easy guy to surprise. You could hold him at gun-point and he wouldn't even bat an eye. The customers he had tonight at the reception desk, however, did surprise him. The first was a black haired man wearing a cape and an eye patch placed over his precious eye. His companion seemed like a girl, though he was corrected before he could say "Miss". He had blond hair streaked with some red and wore a black shirt with "I'm a boy" written on it, with black pants. He had pouches slung on his belt, dynamite wrapped around his arms and his very girl-ish ponytail was held with a spiked scrunchy.
"Is this the place Weasel?" the blond said.
The "Weasel" looked around, took a card out of his pocket, adjusted his eye patch and said "Yes, this is the place for the forming of L.O.V.E" and turned towards Sam. "We have the conference room booked tonight."
"The pink rose? You want to use that horror?"
The smile on "Weasel's" face was equivalent to that of a murderous Goth clown. "Yes, yes we do."
The poor receptionist was left alone in horror, while his customers walked away.
==O==
In a dark alleyway, six figures stood together. "Is this the place?" A voice said, coming from cylindrical container.
A large puple figure replied "It is Grouch," the figure turned around and said "Come brothers, sister and ponies. Tonight we dine in HELL!"
==O==
Itachi looked up at the pale face that greeted him, from his desk. "Codename?"
The figure licked its lip, and said "Do you not know me MORTAL! I am You-know-who! I am He-who-must-not-be-named! I AM Lord VOLDEMORT! At Itachi's blank look he reluctantly continued "Fuzzy-Wuzzy."
"Oh, Mister Wuzzy. Yes, yes. Go down the hall and turn right," Itachi paused, plunged his hands into his desk and pulled out a pair of glasses. He put them on focused on "Fuzzy-Wuzzy". "What the...Orochimaru you got a haircut!"
Over with Deidara, he was having trouble with a celebrity. "So, codename Hitler, what are your powers?"
A large shape, looming in the background, spoke up "I have the dreaded POWER OF MIND CONTROL. With my songs, children become my slaves." To prove his point, he began singing the song.
I love you
You love me
We're all a happy family
From a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too
A crowd of children entered the room and began dancing around "Hitler". The purple dinosaur began to dance around, while singing.
I love you
You love me
If you love me, go rob America
If you love me, make a doomsday weapon
If you love me, kill the pretty lady in front of me
Before Deidara could comprehend what was happening, he was dead. "Itachi, maybe we shouldn't have gotten our allies from that ad " spoke Deidara as he passed away.
Itachi, not listening to his teammate, looked at the next ally they had gathered. "Codename Father, what can you do."
The Star Wars celebrity began to wave his hands around. "Mister Father, can you do anything, besides cut libs?"
Darth Vader pulled out his light saber and turned it on. Itachi spoke" Special effects master?"
Darth Vader pulled out a pack of bagels and said "No, I am a chef. With my trusty light saber, unevenly cooked food will be a myth. I can cook anything and will be a great asset to any evil organization that needs a chef." Itachi looked at the man, who spoke as though he had said that small speech many times before.
"How long have you been unemployed?"
"Ever since they stopped making more of my movies. I've been looking for a job since then. Since you guys are evil, I thought that being an ally would bring some good money. I also want revenge on George Lucas."
Itachi stared at the helmet thing worn by Codename: Father. "You are…," Vader leaned in closer "You are… THE PERFECT CHEF! Look at those bagels, they are evenly toasted. I have Deidara cook the food 'cause he's the closest thing I have to a female; but you…You are a true chef. Welcome aboard Mister Father…Oh wait you are a member so I suppose I should say 'Mister Vader'."
Darth Vader was leaping in joy, before Itachi spoke again 'Just fill out these forms and you're good to go."
Darth Vader took out a pen and began to fill out the forms. His answers were:
Name: Darth Vader aka Father aka Anakin Skywalker
Address: The empty cardboard box at the corner
Who to contact in case of death: No orphans.
Previous jobs: Evil overlord, chef, barber, dentist, dog walker, clown, the actor who plays Mecha-Godzilla and Elvis stunt double.
Who should your partner be like: Strong, evil, loaded with cash and should be an Avenger.
==O==
"I'm telling you Hobbes CAN TALK!" a voice said outside the door. Itachi looked up from the forms on his desk. Deidara came in grumbling about pesky kids and stuffed animals.
"What happened?" Itachi asked him.
"I was getting rid of the hotel employees, so we could use this building as a base. Some kid came up to me while I was dumping the workers. Said that he was evil and his tiger could talk."
"Well, it took three hours of sorting to weirdoes and freaks, but we found four people to help us make our own organization.
At that moment two things happened. A trash can crashed through the window, a blue skinned walked into the room. The man looked at Itachi and said "I hear that you are building an organization to destroy some villains. I will join you if you come with me on exciting trips to save the planet and teach import-UUGGGHHH!" the man said as Itachi's sword found a home in his body.
"Prepare for your end" Itachi said as he activated a genjutsu. The blue-skinned man found himself in the middle of a smoky, lifeless landscape.
"W-where am I?"
"You are on earth, a few years into the future. You are the cause of this."
"NO, this can't be happening. I save the Earth, I don't do this!"
Outside the jutsu, the blue man fell down and Deidara walked up to his lifeless body. "Dude, I think you just killed off Kisame."
The container rolled to Itachi's feet, before it opened to reveal a green…something. "My name's Oscar the Grouch and I'm a latecomer to the party!"
Itachi calmly surveyed Oscar and turned to Deidara "I think he's the most normal candidate we've had all day."
"What about that little girl, Nel?"
"She wore a cartoon skull and was high on sugar and called me Teechi. I don't think that was normal," Itachi turned back to the green thing, sitting in front of him. "What are your powers?"
Oscar looked at himself and said "I'm disgusting garbage collector. I'm possibly the world's biggest grouch and…OH! I'm also green with envy."
Suddenly, Oscar's can shook and out popped Envy. "Did somebody call for my dashing looks, or that guy's looks?"
Get back in your room Envy! You haven't paid your rent yet!" Oscar shouted.
Wait a moment. Envy, with envy we can make our acronym: League Of Villains and Envy. "You're hired, when can you start?"
Next time on Behind the scenes of the Akatsuki: LOVE plans their assault on the Akatsuki, Pein goes missing, an old character returns and the gang orders a pizza that arrives in twenty minutes.
A\N There you have chapter 3 of BSA. Like I said before, if I don't get more than two reviews, this story will be discontinued. Comments, flames, criticism and single word reviews accepted.
KOF-712-B