Thank you reviewers! Because of you guys, this chapter is being posted up! Also, reviewers, I have read some of your stories and they would be great additions to the Livejournal community finalfantasized. I know you guys want to join. Also, if you want the full fairytale, then go read my other story, Eterna. That is the full fairytale itself. If you love sap, that is full of it! So go and R&R that please! Alright, enough of me blabbering. On with the story! I do not own Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts.

"Sorry about that…" Paine mumbled as they drove to the restaurant.

"It's fine, I'm just curious, though," Zexion said. "Is it always like that?"

"Yep. You can never have a dumb moment with Rikku around."

"Ah," Zexion managed to get out. Silence took control through the rest of the drive. "We're here."

"Great! I'm starving!" Zexion smiled and got out the door. Being the gentleman that he was, he opened Paine's door and gave her a hand.

"Shall we?" he said, gesturing with his elbow.

"Gladly," Paine replied, taking a hold of his elbow.

&&&&&&&&&&

It had been an hour since Paine and Zexion left. Yuna wanted Paine to be home soon. She had to tell her that Zexion was the detective that was on their case. She continued watching the clock as Tidus comforted her. Rikku and Gippal seemed to have been doing a lot more than snuggling each other on the couch. Finally, Rikku and Gippal stopped their makeout session and sighed. "I'm hungry, when can we eat dinner?" Rikku asked.

"It's been ready, all we have to do is warm it up," Yuna said, still looking at the clock. The door opened and Yuna quickly got up and ran to the door. "Paine! There's something I have to tell-" she stopped when she saw Zexion next to Paine as they closed the door. "You…" she finally finished.

"Wow, you guys are back early," Rikku said, acting fairly normal even when she knew about Zexion.

"Let's just say that the restaurant wasn't the best place to actually eat," Zexion said. He then looked around the house. "You guys fixed up this place pretty quickly." The chandelier was back in its original place, the broken pieces of glass were gone, and the furniture had been put back to their normal positions.

"Well with a little teamwork and TLC, you'll be surprised what you can do!" Rikku said happily. Yuna just stood in her place, not knowing what to do. "So, why are you guys back here?"

"Well…" Paine started.

Flashback:

Paine and Zexion went into the restaurant. A waitress came by them. "Hey, I had reservations made for 7:15," Zexion said.

"Ok, under whose name?" The waitress asked.

"Zexion."

"Gotcha, right this way please." The waitress led them to their table. "By the way, I'll be your waitress for the night, handsome."

"Excuse me? What did you just call me?"

"Handsome!"

"Um…"

"Here are your menus, just whistle for me when you're ready to order," the waitress said and winked as she gave them the menus.

"Why whistle?" Paine asked, getting mad at their waitress.

"Because," she said, looking seductively at Zexion and leaned down and whispered, "I like being whistled by hot men." With that, she left. Zexion and Paine turned red for two very different reasons. Zexion was quite embarrassed while Paine was getting furiously angry.

Zexion and Paine had finally ordered their food (Zexion refused to whistle for the waitress and instead just told her they were ready when she was walking by them) and were now waiting patiently. "So…what do you do for a living?" Zexion asked, trying to start a conversation. Paine was about to answer when the waitress butted in.

"Well as you can see, I'm a waitress but I have a second job."

"I wasn't asking you," Zexion said.

"No he wasn't," mumbled a very annoyed Paine. "Where's our food?"

"It'll be ready in another 15 minutes. In the meantime, why don't we get to know each other a little more?" The waitress said, moving a little closer to a very uncomfortable Zexion.

"I'd rather not," he said.

"Would you like to know what my second job is?"

"NO!" Zexion said, trying to scoot his chair farther away from the waitress.

"No? Oh I get it, would you like me to DO my second job? It'll be worth your while." The waitress moved closer. Zexion's eyes widened and he blushed, clearly understanding what this waitress' second job was. Paine was getting quite angry. "Just leave this tomboy and we can just head on over to my place. Or would you prefer your place?"

SMACK! Paine had just gotten up and punched the waitress square in the face. Zexion had also gotten up and held Paine back from murdering the girl. "YOU LITTLE WHORE!" Paine yelled, grabbing many people's attention. Zexion noticed this and blushed out of embarrassment. "YOU PROSTITUTE! I WILL DEFINITELY COMPLAIN TO THE MANAGER ABOUT THIS! HOW DARE YOU? THINKING YOU CAN SEDUCE A MAN ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!" Zexion started dragging her out of the restaurant. "JUST YOU WAIT YOU LITTLE BITCH! THIS ISN'T OVER! THIS ISN'T OVER!" Paine yelled as Zexion dragged her out of the restaurant and quickly got her into the car. He then sped away.

Present time:

"The waitress did deserve that, but I did over re-act. So to make up for it, I offered him to come have dinner with us. That is ok, right?" Paine asked.

Yuna was about to say no till Rikku interjected. "Of course it is! We have plenty to go around, right Yunnie?" Rikku gave Yuna a look, telling her to just go with the flow.

"Of course it is," Yuna said quietly. "I just hope you don't mind our boyfriends over."

Zexion looked at the guys on the couch who just grinned and waved and said, "I don't mind at all. Thanks for letting me come over."

&&&&&&&&&&&

Dinner, Zexion's POV:

Well, here I am, sitting next to Paine. She told me that when Rikku was around, there was never a dumb moment. Well, this wasn't a dumb moment, but it was definitely a boring moment. Paine was eating, so was I, Yuna just looked at her food, mindlessly moving the piece of chicken around, not really paying attention. Tidus was…eating, as well as Rikku and Gippal was just staring at Rikku. I could only guess what he was thinking. It was really silent until a monster came out of Tidus' stomach. Ok, that never really happened but that's how bored I was. "So…" Rikku started, "Zexion, what do you do for a living?"

I sighed and put my fork down. "Well, I'm a detective and work with the police department often. I'm currently working on a case right now. Hopefully, it'll turn out ok."

Again silence. This was really getting on my nerves. Finally Yuna said something. "Hey Zexion, do you think it's alright for a detective, like you, to fall in love with some thief?"

Well that was strange. "Um…I'm not sure. I guess it depends who the thief is. If it's a criminal mastermind, then I'd have to see if the thief was just using me for their own purposes. But if it were…I don't know, petty, I suppose…then I think it'll be ok," I said, not really sure if that made sense. Yuna just let out an "oh" and went back to looking at her food. Paine looked at her, confused. She was also wondering where that question had came from. There was a little bell noise coming from the kitchen, like a timer had just gone off.

"That's the dessert!" Yuna said and quickly dashed into the kitchen. Again, another silence. I was gonna end up killing someone if these silences kept happening.

"If you were a condom, what flavor would you be?" Rikku asked. I choked on my chicken. Where the hell did that come from? I knew I was bored out of my wits and was begging for something to happen, but that was unexpected. That just came out of nowhere. Paine had spat the water she was drinking back into the glass.

"RIKKU!" she yelled, her face turning bright red. Rikku just had an annoyed face, since no one had answered her question.

"They come in different flavors?" Tidus asked, looking somewhat disgusted and at the same time interested.

'Well DUH!'

'Oh no, not you again!'

'Yes me again!'

'Why are you here?'

'The conversation got interesting. Munch Munch'

'Are you… eating?'

'Yeah, popcorn.'

'You can eat?'

'Uh-huh!'

'But aren't you a figment of my imagination, only created to tell me from right and wrong, good and bad, evil and pure?'

'Um…no I'm not…?'

'That doesn't help'

'I know'

'Just answer this, how'd you make the popcorn?'

'In the microwave, duh!'

'I shouldn't have asked…'

'No you shouldn't have'

That conscience was getting quite annoying. Anyway, back to the condom thing, Tidus was disgusted but at the same time interested. Rikku still looked annoyed, no one had answered the question yet. Gippal, though, looked like he was deep in thought. "Cherry…" he finally said. Everyone, except Rikku and Tidus turned red. "If I were a condom, I would be cherry." Rikku beamed and hugged Gippal. Tidus still seemed shocked about condoms coming in different flavors. Paine was just embarrassed about the whole situation. I was shocked because someone had ACTUALLY answered that question. Yuna finally came back with a pie in her hands.

"I hope you guys enjoy apple pie!" she said, putting the pie down on the table. Tidus drooled and was the first one to get a piece of it.

"DELICIOUS! YUNA I LOVE YOU!" he exclaimed as Yuna blushed. "Next time we make it, love, we should use cherries!" Paine and I blushed, Rikku giggled insanely, and Gippal just smirked.

Yuna's face turned red and then…SMACK! "PERVERT!" she yelled before getting up and leaving the table. Tidus held his head in pain while Rikku and Gippal laughed. Tidus didn't understand why Yuna had hit him until he remembered the previous conversation. I was wondering if Yuna had actually heard all that through the kitchen door.

"Yuna, wait! I didn't mean it like that!" Tidus yelled as he ran after her. Rikku and Gippal continued to laugh while Paine muttered something along the lines of, "Idiot."

&&&&&&&&&&&

After the dinner, I told Paine I had to head home. So I quickly kissed her on the check (though Gippal was doing some inappropriate movements with his hip behind her) and left. When I got home, I saw Demyx and Axel watching something on the TV. Demyx looked up and said, "Hey." I waved at him. Then Axel held up a bowl of…oh no.

"Want some cherries?" he asked.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom and slammed the door. I can never look at those things the same for quite some time.

Normal POV:

SLAM! Demyx and Axel winced as they heard Zexion slam the door. "Gee…" Axel started. "I didn't know he hated cherries that much."

"Yeah, me either." Demyx took another cherry and continued to watch the TV. "Hey Axel, look! Check this commercial out!"

Commercial:

Woman is walking through the woods and walks up to a bowl of cherries.

Woman: What's your flavor of the night?

Camera shows a box of flavored condoms

Woman: Cattions. THE flavored condoms of all time.

Demyx and Axel stared at the television screen, then at each other, then at the cherries. All of a sudden, the bowl of cherries was in the air and Demyx and Axel were running up the stairs, screaming at the top of their lungs.

&&&&&&&&&&&

"So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" Paine asked Yuna.

"Huh?" Yuna replied, pondering on what she should do.

"You said you needed to tell me something."

"Oh…yeah that…" Yuna sighed. 'Might as well get it done with,' she thought. "Paine…Zexionisthedetectivethatisafterus!" Yuna said quickly.

"What?"

"Um….Zexion is the detective that is after us…I saw him at the jewelry store, talking with the manager…I'm sorry Paine," Yuna said as she saw Paine sink down onto the couch, her eyes wide with disbelief.

Thank you fans who have been reviewing! I just want to let you know that that commercial on TV that Axel and Demyx saw is a real one. Believe me, I've seen it before and my reaction was literally this: OO. Also, I'd like to add a note that What is Love? is open for suggestions. Name a couple (any couple from Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts) and I'll see if I can write something about it. Also, if you are enjoying the stories that I have written so far, then please, please join the Livejournal Community finalfantasized. A lot of the shorts that were posted in What is Love? can be found there. Also, we want to see what other people can come up with. I don't like being the only one there posting up stuff. So please join!