Disclaimer

I only own the plot and my original characters.

A/N

Estoril's Birthday is the 21st Day of Sun's Dawn, 4E 170. So she is 5 years old in this chapter.


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Chapter 1- In which mother lies.

Cloudrest- Alinor (Summerset Isles)

Morndas, 23rd day of Mid Year, 4E 175

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"Estoril! Whatever are doing young lady? Lingering in bed? It is broad daylight outside! This will not do!"

Mother's stern reprimands wake me from my sleep. I am in trouble. But why do I have to get out of bed? I have no motivation. So there is no point.

"I will not tell you again. Get up this instant or you will not be going to see Heselle today."

I hear her footfalls echoing as she makes her way down the long marble hallway. Each one more muted than the other. Each one a threat to hurry it up- I do. Reluctantly, I drag myself out of bed. I suppose it is best I do as mother says. She always knows what is best, right? At least, she is supposed to.

But mother is a liar.

She is correct, I admit, it is 'broad daylight' outside. She did not lie to me just to force me out of bed. But, she has done it before. Maybe she will do it again.

Mother is very pretty, sometimes she lets me braid her long hair. It is amazing! The same color as snow! But she is selfish, she did not give me her hair! I got Father's weird black hair. Every kid in the neighborhood has lighter hair than mine. Sometimes I get strange looks from some of them - and then sometimes they say mean things. Mother told me that she did not get to choose what color my hair would be, but I know she has to be lying.

I do not trust mother.

I hastily throw on a dress mother has laid out for me, and then I drag a comb through my hair. I am hungry. Maybe the cook finally gave up trying to force 'healthy' food into my diet and made me some sweetrolls for breakfast like I keep asking her to.

When I reach the foyer on the way to the dining hall the door slams open. It is father, and he is very angry. I can tell he just came from work because he is wearing his Thalmor robes. As usual, I experience the same sort of admiration and awe that I always do when I see him looking so important. Suddenly, his golden eyes lock with my yellow ones and his frown deepens. I tense up as he takes a few steps closer to me, then a few more- and then I realize that I am in his way. Father shoves past me and continues towards the dining hall as I fall hard on my left side. I must have done something wrong. I deserved that.

I get up and fight back tears. Crying is for the weak and I will not ...I WILL NOT... Oh, I suppose I will. Oh, it hurts.

It takes a few minutes for the pain to not be as bad, when it does I make my way towards the dining hall. Just as I am about to open the door to enter, I stop short when I hear shouting.

"...unacceptable! Three whole Imperial Legions had been decimated!"

"Orthntur, I beg you, please be reasonable! Our armies were just as exhausted! The losses and continuing conflict in Hammerfell are proof enough that-"

" Don't you lecture me! Lady Arannelya is incompetent! Her incompetence in dealing with General Decianus's so called 'invalids' was pitiful. She should have had more foresight! Should have seen it was a trap!"

"You know Lady Aranneyla is anything but incompetent! She managed to cross the Alki'r Desert with her troops. But that is beside the point. The point is; our terms were met in the end! What more could you want?"

"Don't you see, you stupid woman! It was never about the 'terms' as you so put it. It was about the annihilation of the Empire! The end of Imperial cultural dominance! You dare call yourself a member of the Thalmor? How pathetic. Tomorrow I ride to our capital, and my-our- superiors will hear just what I think about this 'peace' with the Imperials."

"You are absolutely delusional. If I can see that our superiors will as well. All they will do when you get there is laugh in your face and send you home. It will be an embarrassment to our family."

"Oh, my dear, dear Taarmend. It is always so amusing to hear your opinions. Because, well, why would I- a Lord-marry some unknown Landowner's daughter if not to hear her opinions?"

Suddenly I feel a tickling sensation in my nose, I know I am about to sneeze and get into big trouble for eavesdropping. Our servants must be slacking on their duties because I know this has to be a reaction to all the dust in the air. I try to hold it in- but I cannot. The sneeze is loud (it echoes). Suddenly it gets very quiet inside the dining hall. I hear the tell-tale screeching of somebody pushing back their chair to get up, and the door opens.

Mother frowns down at me, but she also looks...afraid?

"Estoril, what did I tell you about eavesdropping?"

Mother taps her right foot while impatiently awaiting my answer. Her bright, green eyes are boring holes in my skull. I hang my head low. I am ashamed.

"That it is unbecoming of a young lady?"

My voice is small and I dare a glance up at mother- her expression has softened some but she is still tense. She is not usually so upset when I do something like this. She is scarier than usual.

"Yes indeed. Now come, you need to eat your breakfast."

I follow behind mother and decide to take a seat at the table beside father. He does not seem to be upset that I was listening in on their conversation. In fact, he does not even notice me. He is drinking something from a silver goblet, appearing to be very interested in reading some letters on some fancy looking parchment.

It seems like the cook did not listen to me. The serving girl- a Bosmer whose name I cannot remember- brings me some kind of meat and vegetable stew with a few slices of bread. Yuck.

I ignore the food set in front of me and reach for the fruit that was already on the table. Mother, who sits across from me, glares disapprovingly and it looks like she wants to say something. I pay her no attention. Father seems to have no problem with me not eating the stew, and when father is in the room mother cannot tell me what to do.

Although I would prefer a sweetroll, I can stomach fruit. I become engrossed in eating and my mind wanders.

I wonder if Heselle will let me read some of the new Spell Tomes that her grandfather got for her. She always gets new ones and I never-

"What is wrong with you! Can't you pour wine?"

"I...I apologize My Lord! Forgive my clumsiness."

Father, whose previously impeccable robes are now drenched with wine, is seething with anger. The Bosmer girl is visibly trembling in fear. The pitcher which contains whatever is left of the wine it held trembles as well.

"Put that pitcher down at once! Before the rest ends up on the floor."

The Bosmer girl does what father says and then turns to leave.

"And where. Do you think. You are going?"

Father is going to fire her. I know it. This makes me happy. Father always says: "The Bosmer, while being Mer, are still below the Altmer. Whenever possible, it is your duty to remind them of this fact and put them in their place." Father always sounds so smart, so he must be right. I am not quite sure what putting someone in their place means, but by the way father says it, it sounds like a good thing.

If possible, the Bosmer girl is shaking even more violently, and I am sure she knows that she is about to lose her job.

"Did you need something else, My Lord?" The Bosmer girl asks apprehensively.

"As a matter of fact, no I do not, nor will I ever again. You are dismissed. Leave immediately." Father's words are strong, they leave no room for argument.

The Bosmer girl does what she is told.

I grin widely.

"Orthntur, do you not think-" Mother starts carefully, but she is cut off

"Actually Taarmend, I do. In fact, what I think is that this Bosmer just got what she deserved. Do you not agree, Estoril?"

I am pleasantly surprised that father has finally noticed me, so I reply immediately.

"Yes father, of course I agree."

Father is pleased with my response. He then turns to mother and his smile widens.

"You see Taarmend, our daughter agrees so why. Don't. You?"

"For Auri-El's sake, she is only a small child. Do not bring her into this. She cannot even understand what she is agreeing to. "

"Ah, but you see Taarmend, that is not what matters. What matters is that she is a dutiful daughter and that she knows that her father speaks the truth. A pity you did not turn out to be a more dutiful wife, you showed such promise in your youth."

Father turns to me and smiles ever so kindly. He is proud of me! He must have forgiven me for getting in his way earlier!

"Estoril, If you turn out like your mother I will disown you. Do you understand?"

I am not quite sure what disown means, but it does not sound good.

"No father, I will not. I promise."

"I knew you would understand." Father states approvingly. "You see Estoril, unlike your mother here I will not insult your intelligence by assuming that you do not understand something because you are 'only five years old'. It is really quite unfair of her, and it is a cruel lie. I am sure I have told you before about your mother and her lies, have I not?"

I nod. Yes, father has told me many times. Mother lies all the time. While I should respect her, I cannot trust what she says to be true.

"You know, it is a pity you had to be a girl. You do have your uses though, don't you?"

I am not so sure what father is talking about but I nod in agreement anyway. I shift my attention to mother and she seems...sad? How odd. Why would she be sad? In fact it looks like she is about to cry. This is not good. Crying is very bad.

"Have you been keeping up with your studies?" Father questions abruptly.

I am pleased with the change of subject. I do like to talk about my studies of the Arcane Arts. Father seems to as well since he often asks me about my progress.

"Yes father, Master Sinyir has been teaching me novice restoration spells and-"

"What about destruction spells?"

"He thinks I am too young for that," I confess sheepishly. "He says they are too dangerous."

"I will have a word with him. When I was your age I already had a basic understanding of novice destruction spells. I do not see why you should be any different."

"Thank you father, I would like that."

"Of course you would," father acknowledges.

The rest of the meal is taken in silence. I do not touch the stew and eat my fill of the assorted fruits. Then an idea of sheer brilliance strikes me .

"Father," I start cautiously.

"Hmm?" Murmurs father, not looking up from his letters.

"Can I have sweetrolls tomorrow for breakfast?" I ask hopefully.

"I don't see why not."

I beam at father's response. Father is wonderful!

"Thank you father!

I get up to go and meet with Heselle at the big tree when father's inquiring voice stops me.

"And where do you think you are going?"

"To play with Heselle. She is waiting for me," I explain while shifting my weight from one foot to another-hoping that father would just let me go.

"Ah, Commander Nerinmir's daughter, she is from a good family. Yes, you may go."

With that I practically bolt out the door and barely hear mother's concerned statement of "stay safe". Once outside I continue my frantic pace. My neighborhood is on Cloudrest's outskirts and is filled with lavish houses of all shapes and sizes. Most however, have slanted purple roofs and their bases, foundations, and lower levels are made up of coral. As I breath in the warm, forest air it makes me cough and forces me to slow down. I cross the bridge on the edge of the city. There, by a small waterfall and its subsequent stream is the big tree -and a very impatient looking Heselle.

Heselle is sitting in-between two of the tree's protruding roots. She is casting the magelight spell over and over again. As I approach her, Hessele takes notices me, then stops her casting to smile and wave.

"Took you long enough." Heselle drawls as I sit next to her.

"Sorry, a lot of things happened this morning. Mother caught me eavesdropping on her and father arguing, and then father fired one of our Bosmer servants," I explained to her.

"What were your mother and father arguing about?" Heselle inquires.

"I am not sure," I say, because I am really not. Most of what they talked about were things I had never heard about before, yet... "I think it was about the Great War."

"I'm not surprised. My father talks about the Great War all the time," Heselle remarks dryly as she scrunches her nose in disgust. "It's so boring, he never talks about magic. The only person in the house who does is grandfather, and all he cares about is magic theory. You're lucky that you have your father to talk to, and of course, Master Sinyir."

She is right. I am lucky, but Heselle gets all the Spell Tomes she wants whenever she wants. It is not fair, but I do not say this. Instead I remember something father said earlier and ask;

"Is your father really a Commander?"

"Yeah, but I don't think it's such a big deal. All he ever does these days at home is look through and sign papers. But I suppose it's good to have him back. Mother said he could have been captured and killed in the Imperial City like Lord Naarifin," Heselle states nonchalantly.

"Who is Lord Naarifin?"

"You don't know?" Heselle asks incredulously.

When I shake my head Heselle lets out a frustrated sigh.

"Sometimes I forget you're two years younger than I am and so people shelter you. Well, lets see... Lord Naarifin lead the army that sacked the Imperial City. He was captured when the Imperials got it back...and then he died a gruesome death."

I can tell Heselle is not telling me everything so I press her for more.

"How did he die?"

Heselle looks slightly uncomfortable but I press harder.

"Pleeeeeeeease! Tellmetellmetellme!"

"Alright Alright! I'll tell you. By Auri-El, stop shouting! You're hurting my ears! Well, the Emperor himself captured Lord Naarifin, and then hung him from the White-Gold Tower where he stayed barely alive for 33 days. They say that on the 34th day a winged Daedra swooped down and carried him off. There, happy?"

I frown and my lips form a thin line.

"That is it? You made it sound like he had been burned alive or dismembered, or killed and then thralled and re-thralled. Or maybe even sacrificed to Namira!... Not to say that what happened is not horrible..."

As I spoke, Heselle's amber eyes kept widening until I could swear they were about to pop out of their sockets.

"How do you know about these things?" Heselle demands.

"Erm..Books?" And that is not a lie, I have read plenty of more 'questionable' material. Even material I did not know was questionable to begin with. Last year I came across a book called The Lusty Argonian Maid in the family library. It was a very strange book that appeared to be about an Argonian maid polishing her Master's spear. When I asked mother to explain it to me, she got very quiet and confiscated the book from me. Then she did not let me have sweetrolls for a week. It must have been a very evil book.

Heselle accepts my explanation about the books, and I am not surprised. She does, after all, read more than anyone I know. I am sure she has come across all sorts of different subjects. We then decide to practice our magic. It is always nice to have somebody older to help.

Heselle is really my only true friend. Sure, I have many acquaintances, father gets many of his friend's children to spend time with me, but none of them really care about me. None of them would ever try to help me with my magic like Heselle is doing right now. I know that father approves of her being my friend because she comes from a good family, and she looks the part too. She, like myself and all children of Noble lineage, wears fine dresses and robes. She even has a servant do her hair in the mornings. However, Heselle with her beige skin, flaxen hair, and soft features is a favourite of all the adults- who adore her sweet and innocent appearance. But I don't have 'the hair', my eyes are a common yellow and my skin is a bit too pale. Heselle catches me staring at her and frowns.

"Oh not again," she exclaims.

I act like I do not know what she is talking about.

"What?"

"You know what. Your hair is fine. In fact, I like your hair. It's interesting."

I sigh, of course she would know exactly what I am thinking.

"Everybody has light colored hair, though," I argue weakly.

"That's not true." Heselle retorts. " Kalanian has black hair too."

"Kalanian smells."

"You're right, he does."

Heselle bursts into peals of laughter.

I do too.

We spend the rest of the day together experimenting with new spells, playing tag, racing each other through the jungle and wading through the stream by the big tree. When I finally arrive home it is dark out. I am exhausted and do not even bother with dinner. The servants run me a bath and then I promptly dive into bed.

Just as I begin to fall asleep I hear my door creak open and I can tell somebody is lingering in the doorway. The person seems to have decided to enter, because I can hear their footsteps approaching. I am lying in bed on my side - facing the door. It is very dark in my room, so I decide to risk it and let my eyes open (just a crack).

I see mother's tall form looming over me. I shut my eyes quickly and pretend to be asleep. The mattress dips beside me, and mother strokes my hair. I stiffen, but then force myself to relax. Mother kisses the top of my head and then I hear her murmur; " I love you Estoril." She gets up and leaves. I am alone again. I almost miss her soft caresses...

But mother is a liar.

I do not trust mother.