Tumblr prompt: Things you said that I wasn't meant to hear.
Rated T.
It was like a whisper on the wind, though with the world crumbling beneath her feet and the crashing of falling trees, there was no way she could have heard a whisper. But she had heard it, all the same.
End this, it said again, and this time she recognized the voice. It wasn't hers, it was monster in the snow, this killer of Han Solo, this trickster who delved into her mind only to witness her loneliness—it was his voice. He was oozing cauterized blood clots from the wound she'd served him only breaths before, panting in pain. He sat up, almost presenting his chest for the blow, and he urged her again.
End this!
How could she hear him? The thought only occurred to her briefly as she got another look at his ruined face. There was pain there, of course. But it was pain deeper than a saber wound, deeper than a bowcaster blast. This was pain soaked in heart's blood, in yearning to be done with the trappings of living.
He wanted her to kill him. He wanted to end.
She considered, took half a step, and stopped at the hopeful relief that spread across his face. She tasted bile at that look, so ready to be done. So wretched with his own self-loathing. She could feel his regret, feel his bone deep grief at what he had done, at what he would have to continue to do if she would not kill him.
She didn't know how she could feel it, how she could hear him begging her for the mercy of her weapon. But she could.
And she thought, as she backed away and let the opening chasm make the tough decision for her, that if she killed him, if she ended his suffering, she would feel his death, too. Feel the loss of him.
He was right—she was lonely. Afraid. And his presence within her, however new and startling and perfectly pitiful, was more company than she had had for a very long time.
She watched as the distance grew between them as the maw opened wider. She felt his growing anger, his resentment that she hadn't finished what she started. She felt it as keenly as if she herself had felled Han Solo. But she welcomed it, for whatever reason, and hoped he could feel lighter for her taking some of his pain with her.
He wished for an end, but she found a beginning, and she wanted to see where it led.
End.
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