DISCLAIMER - I do not own Twilight or its characters.

Chapter 3

Note

As the day wore on my mother was slowly convinced that I would not slip back into my coma and she was able to get an earlier flight out to Jacksonville late in the evening instead of waiting until morning. I had gathered that Renee had been sleeping on Charlie's couch and she was probably all too eager, now that I was somewhat functioning again, to end that sleeping arrangement.

Once they left for the airport I headed up to my room and was thankful to be doing so alone, hmph alone. I shook my head to regain my thoughts and to focus on the task at hand which was restoring my room to pre-tantrum state. I opened my door and let out a big sigh at the work that lay in front of me.

I was lucky that Charlie had agreed to leave me unsupervised, but he was none too eager to give in. If it hadn't been for my self-made diversion to keep me occupied and some gentle, coaxing words from my mom he would have dragged me along with them. I saw how hesitant and anxious he looked when he walked out the door. I imagined how he was feeling right now. He was probably barreling down the road sirens blaring, lights flashing and as he pulled up to the airport entrance without fully stopping he would practically toss both my mother and her suitcase onto the curb before screeching off into the night. Ok, so maybe he wouldn't be in that much of a hurry but the mental image it brought did almost make me laugh, almost, but there just wasn't any laughter left in me, not now.

I stood there for a moment frozen in concentration trying to remember the last time that I did actually laugh and after awhile I came to the conclusion it was probably with him and before I could think his name and land myself back into my bed, I forced my feet to move and once I was in the middle of my clothes explosion I sat down and began sorting and folding all the clothes into piles and that's when the folded piece of paper fell onto my lap.

I picked it up and unfolded it slowly in my shaking hands, not quite sure what I would find. Perhaps it was a note left behind by my mother. Although I was certain that wasn't the case, it still helped ease my shaking hands somewhat. I grasped the opened note in my hands for fear the shaking would knock it right out. I looked down and at the first sight of fancy handwriting my heart stopped. I know that's a cliché thing to say, but I meant it in the most literal sense, my heart actually stopped beating, but it only took me a second to realize that it wasn't from…him…it was from Alice, still painful, but bearable.

She must've stuck it in my underwear drawer thinking that a normal person, one who changes her underwear on a regular basis, would find it rather quickly, so much for being normal or cleanly for that matter. Oh well, being normal is obviously overrated especially since I'm sitting here with a note from a vampire in my hand.
Now that one came even closer to getting a chuckle, but still no dice.

The note read:

Dearest Bella,

I know you will take what I said today very seriously as you know how important it is, but there is something else that is also very important.

Bella, I know you are not the most normal girl in the world, but please do your very best at having a normal life. You know how much it would mean to us for you to be able to be a normal teenager (or as normal as you can manage to be.)

I am so very sorry. I will miss you.

Love Always,

Alice Cullen

I could barely read the end of the note as I tried to blink back tears, but they just fell and stained the note in my hands. One landed on the word 'Love' and left it marred. How ironic I thought.

The words of the note were ringing in my head and I knew it wasn't 'us' that Alice was talking about. It was Edward.

"Oh!" I doubled over as a searing pain pulsated in my chest as I thought his name for the first time since…

But, I knew it was him that she was referring to as I remembered what a big deal he made about me going to prom. He had claimed it was some super important rite of passage, but those things were trivial and insignificant to me. I just laid there on the floor curled up with my knees against my chest as images of prom flashed in my head. This was just too much.

I had been working so hard to keep these memories out of mind, to keep him out of mind, his name, his face, his crooked smile, his smell…everything. I had so many feelings swirling around inside me I couldn't deal with just one, but I couldn't deal with all of them either. I was terrified that I would push myself to forget all of these things, but I was even more afraid of remembering them.

I laid there crying and shaking only trying to focus on one thing…Charlie. He could not come home and find me like this. I pushed all of the tormenting feelings aside and slowly my sobs grew weaker and my legs began to loosen.

Just then I heard Charlie pull up in the drive away and I quickly jumped to my feet and grabbed the folded piles that surrounded me and hastily shoved them in the drawers.

I walked out into the hallway leaving my room looking much better than it had earlier. I was at the top of the stairs when Charlie walked in the door behind him. I yelled "I'm just getting ready for bed I'll be right down, dad."

I made sure I was fully composed before I left the bathroom in my pajamas and headed down the stairs. I was so exhausted that I just wanted to crawl into my bed even though I just spent I don't know how many days in there, but I knew I needed to talk to Charlie even if to just put his mind at ease a little bit.

"Hey, dad" It wasn't as friendly sounding as I had hoped it would be, but it was better than nothing.

I sat on the couch and tried to sit casually and appear more comfortable than I actually was, but all of the effort I was putting forth to look casual undermined the whole purpose.

"Hey, Bella I'm glad you're still up."

This roughly translated to 'I'm glad you didn't return to your coma.'

I nodded because I was glad too and he continued.

"Yeah, we really haven't talked for over 2 weeks, Bells."

It was an awkward moment and Charlie reached out and tapped my leg a couple of times with his hand. It was so unlike Charlie, but it was so endearing.

Wow, over 2 weeks!

"Bella, I'm really sorry about Edward, but-"

"What? You know!?!" I didn't mean to interrupt but I was shocked.

"Well, sure Dr. Gerandy told me that night…the night that he was here... he told me that Carlisle had left the hospital abruptly once getting Edward's diagnosis and having to seek specialized care for him."

I must have looked terribly confused, but Charlie continued.

"Bella, it's not uncommon for someone going through something like this, a fatal disease, to withdraw."

I just nodded my head.

Apparently Carlisle had told the hospital that he was taking a job at the hospital adjoining the children's hospital where Edward was supposed to be receiving treatment. I believe Charlie had used the words 'kidney failure' and 'dialysis'. I was thinking hard about this. It was easier to think about this than the alternative…the truth. My thoughts were interrupted when Charlie began to speak again.

"Bella I was supposed to go fishing with Harry tomorrow, but I can cancel."

No, No dad, I'll be fine. Go ahead and have a good time." I protested. There was no need for him to suffer along with me…anymore than he already had.

Before I went to bed he promised that we would talk about school tomorrow. I agreed and then dragged myself to bed.

I was half asleep when my head hit the pillow, but the last thought in my mind was Edward lying in a hospital bed all the way across the country in Maryland. In this thought he wasn't here, but he was somewhere and that comforted me as I drifted off to sleep.