Cutting is in this chapter. This is kind of sloppy but I've been out of it.

"Hi, Mom," Clare muttered.

Helen got up from the new couch to have a conversation with her daughter, who was looking out the window, watching the rain as it started to pour. "Hi, honey. How was your day?"

"It was good," Clare said, smiling a little bit. "Eli and I went to the Dot and then the park."

"Ha, enjoy it while it lasts, Clare," Helen muttered without thinking.

"What are you talking about...?" Clare asked, even though she knew. Why does she have to be so bitter about love when I'm finally experiencing something... good?

"Nothing, honey. I didn't mean to say that. Listen, do you want to come to the church fundraiser with me? We could always use an extra hand."

"Um, well... I have a lot of homework and stuff," Clare mumbled.

"Oh, okay. Well, I need to leave now to get everything ready. I'll be home later tonight. Do you want me to make you any dinner before I leave?"

"No, I can make some."

"Okay, honey. I'll see you later."

Clare walked into her room and sighed, her thoughts lingering. "Enjoy it while it lasts, Clare." What the hell is she talking about? Eli and I have something great, and it will last. It isn't my fault that she and Dad fell out of love. Or... what if it is? Clare. After Darcy left... that's when they started fighting. No, Clare. Stop. They fell out of love on their own.

Clare winced as she thought back to the fights that her parents had gotten into, unaware, or maybe just not caring, that Clare could hear every word that came out of their mouths, every plate that was thrown. And now they're fighting over me like I'm their property. Do they still not understand that they're messing me up? Do they even care?

These thoughts kept growing on Clare, taunting her, eventually pushing her towards her razor blade. Tears were streaming down her face by the time she made it over to her bag. She pulled her blade out and slid it over her arm- this time, deeper than ever before. She gasped in pleasurable pain, but then saw how deep this cut was. Judging by the white tissue that she had never seen before, Clare realized that she must've gone past the layers of skin that she usually cut into(1). She watched the blood begin to trickle into the gash, soon overflowing and running down her arm.

"Dammit!" Clare hissed as she felt the blood drip into her jacket, lying on the floor, and rushed to find a gauze pad, tissue, anything to stop the bleeding.

She would normally soak through a tissue, but the bleeding would have slowed down by then. This time, however, the cut was still gushing blood. Clare tried to keep herself calm, but this was a whole new level of... crazy for her, and she was worried that she hit a vein.

Meanwhile, Eli was sitting in his bed, wondering what was up with Clare earlier. He knew that Clare would probably act a little wacky until she got used to the new situation with her family, but that whole arm thing... weird. Something was up with that, and Eli knew it. Something deep inside him was screaming at him to figure it out.

He thought about it for a while, piecing together moments. He could think of countless times where Clare would move her arm away from contact with anything. It was always long sleeved, always around Clare's stomach, like if it would burn if someone saw it. Her parents have to be abusing her- she's obviously hiding something, and there isn't any other reason that—oh, shit. Eli's breathing picked up, anger, sadness and guilt racing through him. Eli, how the fuck could you be so stupid?

He rushed over to his desk where his computer was, and checked his Facebook to see if Clare was online. He quickly typed out a message to her, hoping that her 'idle' status would soon be 'online'.

Eli-gold49: Hey, we really need to talk about something. Can we meet up somewhere, and soon?

His feet tapped the floor as he waited for her reply.

Clare sat in the corner of her new room, her knees pulled up to her chest. The bleeding was under control, but shit. That was a wake-up call for her. How did I let it get this bad? Why did I let it get this bad? I have to stop, I have to stop… Clare, you need to stop. But you can't; you're too crazy.

"Gosh, Clare. You're such a failure," she choked out. She hadn't even realized that she was bawling until her words came out rough and dry, her words slipping in between sobs and gasps for breath. "All this was supposed to do was help you deal, but it's just making things worse! "

Clare's phone lit up and its ringtone started to play. The caller ID said 'Mom', and Clare quickly took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Hello?" She answered it, trying her best to keep her voice steady.

"Hi, honey. Listen, the rain flooded Tina's house, and she needs help with moving her stuff away from the water. It looks like it's going to take a while, so is it all right if I just stay over at her house tonight?"

"Sure..."

"You know the rules, honey. I trust you, so don't make me regret it."

Clare sighed and rolled her eyes. "Why can't I just go to Dad's house?"

"Because," her mother snapped. "It is my turn to have you, and that doesn't change if I'm not there for the night."

"Fine," Clare retorted. "Bye."

She headed over to computer and noticed an IM from Eli. She checked to see if he was still online, and typed out a response.

Eli was really panicking. It had only been five minutes since he sent her an IM, but he couldn't just wait for her to be online after figuring out what was wrong with her.

Clare-e23: Umm, okay. Is something wrong...?

Eli sighed as his fingers hovered over the keyboard. He didn't want to worry her.

Eli-gold49: Nah. It is important, though.

Clare-e23: Well... my mom is gone for the night; you can come over now, if you want.

Eli-gold49: I'll be there in ten.

Eli signed off and grabbed his keys for Morty.

1- I don't know if that really made any sense... sorry if it didn't. I used to (and still struggle with it sometimes. writing about it like this either helps or sometimes triggers me to do it again, so that's probably why if i don't update for a week or something) cut myself and I remember this one time I went too deep.. like past the skin and was muscle or something? Morbid, I know. But I didn't really know how to describe that.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&, let's pretend that the rain was a monsoon because i know that floods don't usually happen that quickly.

Ps: I'll try to update again tonight, if I'm up to it. Bad few days...you should cheer me up with reviews. and i know that a lot of this chapter is going to be really shitty. i didn't even read over it so sorry if it's like really bad.