Climbing up the fire escape behind her apartment block later that night, or rather morning, she enters through her apartment window, locking it behind her and putting down the blinds before tossing her chainsaw on the arm chair with a yawn and a stretch.
She shrugs off her leather jacket as she walks by her clock, hitting the button just as the alarm goes off for nine o' clock before popping her spine with another stretch.
"Man, I really gotta stop pulling these all-nighters." She says as she takes off her mask and rubs her tired eyes "A robbery, a super hero barbeque, and a super villain scheme, all in one night! What a workout."
She finishes changing out of her costume, stowing it in a box beneath her bed, and makes herself a cup of coffee, before exiting through her front door to see, as usual, Mrs. Lavern standing there with her black Pekinese, Mr. Snuffles.
"Hayley could you…"
"Sure thing Mrs. Lavern." She says sleepily, rubbing one eye with a knuckle as she takes the dog from the woman's hands
"Just remember that all the time I spend walking Mr. Snuffles is time spent not trying to find a way to pay the rent."
"Oh pish tosh, you're a talented girl, you'll find a job soon. You just have to not be so picky about it. Speaking of which, my sinks clogged again, could you take a look at it?"
"Mrs. Lavern, I told you that your garbage disposal is broken, you have to go buy a new one."
"But couldn't you just fix the one I have?"
"You're lucky I've been able to fix your sink up until now to begin with. And besides, you're the landlady, you should be the one getting things fixed around here." The old woman shrugs and Hayley rolls her eyes with a slight smirk.
"Well, I'll see you later Mrs. Lavern." She says as she starts off down the hallway, past the elevator and to the stairs with Mr. Snuffles in one arm. As she's about halfway down the stairs, the foyer comes into view…. and she sees a superhero entering through the front door.
Immediately backpedaling out of sight of the hero, she quietly makes her way back up the stairs before tearing down the hallway at top speed, thinking, "Oh, no! He must have followed me home from when I saved those robbers from compound fractures, or when I crashed that barbecue and beat up a blindfolded superhero with the piñata bat and kicked the barbeque into the pool! Or when I forced that supervillain and all the heroes he was fighting to take a bus to the outskirts of the city where there would be less collateral damage, and then beat up every superhero left standing!"
Skidding to a halt in front of Mrs. Lavern, who was still standing in the hallway, she shoves the little dog into the woman's arms and says a quick
"Hi–Mrs. -back!" In a panicked voice, Spinning the baffled old woman around, kicking open her apartment door, and shoving the woman into her house.
"Hayley? What's going?..."
"No time to explain!" she responds with a false smile plastered on her face and a mock cheerful tone "So why don't you just stay right there, and uhhh, watch TV or something?
Really loud….
with the radio on too."
She tries to close the door but the old woman blocks it with her body.
"You aren't in trouble with the man or anything are you sweetie? Cause you know, back during prohibition I…"
"No Mrs. Lavern! Its nothing like that, its just an, uhh…" she thinks to herself, 'Come on, think up a good lie!'
"Insurance salesman."
"Ooooo, I hate those door to door insurance salesmen." Thankfully seeming to buy her fib.
"EXACTLY! So you just stay put…. and I'll go take care of it." She finally shoves Mrs. Lavern out of the way gently as she can and closes the door fully before muttering under her breath
"It could get messy."
She sprints over to her own apartment, unlocks the door, and rushes in, before moments later coming out half dressed in her Chainsaw Vigilante costume, her belt undone, her gloves in her pocket, her jacket not zipped up and her mask held between her teeth as she hopped on one foot trying to get her other boot on.
But Laverns door starts to open a crack and her voice leaks out
"Are you sure you don't want any help dear?"
And Chainsaw Vigilante immediately and slams it shut, yelling "That won't be necessary Mrs. Lavern!" through the grit teeth holding her mask.
"Well alright dear." She responds in her kindly grandma sort of voice, finally giving in to Hayley's demands.
Her boots on, she puts on her mask, grabs her chainsaw, and quickly makes the short distance to the elevator, with Mrs. Lavern's apartment being the closest to it, and thinking aloud as she pushes the button "I'll just send the elevator to the lobby, and when he goes to investigate it, I'll have taken the stairs and get him from behind!"
But once again the door to Mrs. Laverns room opens up a crack, with Mrs. Lavern saying, "Well at least let Mr. Snuffles go too, you know how much he loves company."
And the little black dog slipped through the door and tore off down the hallway happily towards the stairs.
"Mr. snuffles no!" She shouts after the dog, but just then the elevator arrives, so after a moment's indecision, she takes it instead.
Mr. Snuffles rockets down the stairs on his tiny legs, barking and wagging his tail frantically, and quickly makes a beeline towards the superhero the moment he spots the oddly dressed man, who was decked out in a stapler themed costume, who happily kneels down to greet the little dog in turn.
"Well aren't you a cutie! Are you a good doggie?" he says in a baby talk voice as he reaches out with the back of his hand for Mr. Snuffles to sniff.
"I bet you probably smell my dogs huh?" he continues as Mr. Snuffles barks and wags his furry little tail happily,
when a slight "Ding" comes from the elevator.
He slowly turns his head to inspect the source of the sound…. and his face immediately meets the fist of a maniacally laughing Chainsaw Vigilante, his body twisting comically from the impact and leaving him dazed, but still able to stand, before Chainsaw Vigilante grabs him by the collar of his absurd cape, roughly yanking him closer so they're face to face, all the while praying that her bluff will work.
"You think I didn't know I was being followed? Hero?" an evil smile playing across her mask "I just wanted to get you brain-dead heroes to show yourself, and what better way than to make you think you're about to discover my secret identity? You useless excuses for heroes are so predictable."
He shields his face with his hands while saying, "Not in the face! Not in the face!"
She gives him a slight shake to shut him up before threatening,"I know you heroes never try to take me on solo, so tell me where your friends are, and maybe I'll go easy on you."
"The-they're right outside…. on the rooftops!" he stutters.
And with a broad cheerful grin splitting across her face as she responds "Thanks!"
Outside the apartment you hear the "Whiffs" and "Pows" of someone getting the snot beat out of them, before with a loud "BANG!" she kicks open the door, and tosses the bruised and battered hero onto the sidewalk in front of her apartment, a burst of staples and staplers flying out of his various gadget pouches from the impact, startling many passers-by, before she dramatically steps out the door and onto the sunlit patio of the apartment.
It's not often she's out in broad daylight, so the pedestrians on the street have mixed reactions, some trying to flee immediately, some staring awestruck, and with a select few being less than impressed, but they were all ignored.
No, she only had eyes for the terrified group of superheroes that stood huddled up in fear on the opposite rooftop, some of which already sported battle damaged costumes and bruised bodies from last night's escapades.
Her smile widens as she slowly takes the chainsaw off her back, letting the light catch the shiny blades of it's edge.
Dramatically, she pulls the rip-chord, the machine roaring to life like some furious beast, before quick as a flash, she leaps down the steps, sailing over the beaten stapler-themed hero and races across the street towards the terrified huddle of superheroes, who panic and start to flee.
She runs into an alleyway beside them, and leaping onto a closed dumpster, she's able to reach the fire escape and expertly climb her way onto the rooftops, but even then this still takes some time, and by the time she reaches the roof, the heroes were already fading off into the distance as they made a beeline away from her across the rooftops.
But not being discouraged by this, she instead ops to take a different route.
Ahead of her, the heroes are starting to slow, and before long, one of them (who was dressed like a weasel) chances a look behind him.
"Hey! Guys! I think we lost her!" he shouts as he slows to a light jog, then a stop as he looks behind him for any trace of the terrifying chainsaw wielding menace.
The other heroes slow down as well, congregating beside a taller brick building that reached about a story taller than the roof they were on now. Some stopping more gratefully than others, as a man in a thick pink costume with two giant ears sticking out like a pair of sails from his back and the word 'Earman' written across his chest, pants heavily as he stands hunched over, bracing himself against his knees,
Earman: "Oh thank god. I was getting real sweaty in this thing."
But another guy dressed in a white rabbit suit with a look of panic still etched on his face shouts out
Bunnyman: "That's just what she wants you to think Weasel! Just when you think you've lost her BOOM there she is! Right behind you!"
"But then how would we know when we've lost her!" Says a somewhat timid looking guy dressed in skintight spandex emblazoned with multiple images of letters all over his body.
"You don't Letterguy, You just don't know. But I say we stop running and do what we came here to do! Take a stand and FIGHT BACK!"
Earman: "A stand? *wheeze* I thought we were just gonna follow her and *pant* try to find out her secret identity?"
Bunnyman: "If she even has one." He mutters, folding his arms across his chest and looking away with a frown, but he's disregarded as The Weasel angrily snaps back.
The Weasel: "Well if you wanted to 'Take a stand' so bad, then why did you run away with the rest of us?! Huh, Ultra Violence Man?"
UVM: "Well I wasn't going to try and take her on without BACKUP!... Side's, she startled me." The highly muscular masked man replied angrily, though he fidgeted with the hem of his costume and looked down at his feet as he spoke the last part.
Letterguy: "But, what about The Stapling Avenger? We still have to go back for him."
Bunnyman: "The Stapling Avenger already done for, we got ourselves to think about! And she could show up at any minute!"
The Weasel: "…. I say we split up."
UVM: "WHAT!"
Earman: "Yeah! Haven't you ever seen a horror movie? They always split up, and it never EVER turns out well for them."
"~Awwww, why should you let that stop you? I say we hear the bozo out, I think his plan might have some merit~"
The Weasel: "Thank you, now as I was say….."
The realization sinks in, and they all look to the landing above them, where they see The Chainsaw Vigilante laying casually alongside the edge of the roof, looking very smug, before making a lazy motion with one hand and saying,
"Now how about we put the crybaby's on the left, and the heavy bleeders can go on the right. And if you happen to fit into both category's, don't worry, I'm sure we can all figure this thing out."
With a tremendous simultaneous scream, the self-proclaimed superheroes scatter in opposite directions, with Letterguy and The Weasel heading in one direction, and Earman, Bunnyman, and Ultra Violence Man heading the other way.
"Well whado you know? Looks like that worked out perfectly!" She says with a smile as she gets to her feet.
"Now lets see here. Ennie, meannie, miney,…..….Moe. "
Picking up her chainsaw and pulling the rip-cord, she leaps off the roof and sprints after The Weasel and Letterguy.
An intense chase begins, the two heroes beating feet in a flat out terror sprint as they hear the rumbling of her chainsaw steadily growing nearer.
the two of the race down a nearby fire escape and onto the alleyways below, and sprinting through the maze of back alleys left and right in an attempt to lose her. But as they sprint around their final turn, to their horror they find it to be a dead end, while behind them, The Chainsaw Vigilante comes into view, skidding slightly to make the sharp turn, before stopping at the entrance to the alley, an evil smile playing across her mask as she raises her weapon slightly and slowly advances on the cowering superheros, who slowly back up closer and closer to the brick wall behind them, until they can go no further.
Tears start to run down the face of Letterguy as he grips The Weasel in a tight hug.
Letterguy: "You know I thought she wouldn't be so scary in the daytime, but I was wrong!" he shouts in terror as she slowly approaches, casting a menacing shadow as she stood silhouetted at the entrance to the ally.
She gives the heroes one last chance to give up.
"Renounce your asinine quests to uphold your own flawed brand of justice at the expense of the innocent people around you, or suffer the agony of a thousand painful cuts!"
The two men exchange a glance with one another, each of them steeling their resolve, with Letterguy letting go of his tight grip on The Weasel, before they both turned to face her and took up a fighting stance, The Weasel mumbling under his breath,
"Aww man, this is gonna hurt… Why didn't I just stay in The City and fight apocalypse cow with the rest of them?"
"…No takers? Well then, let's just see how brave you are when your costumes are nothing but a pile of gaudy ribbons soaked in your own blood.. "
But then suddenly, a commanding voice echoes from the sky with a shout of
"HALT!"
Looking up at the source of the shout, the three of them see the silhouette of a muscular caped figure floating in midair, his body language giving off an air of noble defiance.
Slowly, he drifted down to earth, the details of his costume coming into greater clarity. His outfit resembled that of a Greek warrior, with a gold chest plate and a simply designed helmet that seemed to be made of a polished bronze resting on the top of his head and leaving his face visible, with the elegant red-fur crest adorning it matching his long red cape. In one hand he held a small circular shield, and his tall laced sandals were adorned with small wings at the ankles.
He touched down softly, placing himself directly between her and the two terrified superheroes, with neither him nor Chainsaw Vigilante breaking their intense, fiery gaze with each other for even a moment as he crossed his arms against his chest and narrowed his eyes to an almost threatening squint.
"Chainsaw Vigilante…."
"…..Perseus"