Never lick metal in the winter!

(Requested by skippy)

It started to snow and Orochimaru found himself outside with his team. They had just finished training and were all heading to get lunch.

As they walked, the thin layer of snow began to crunch beneath their feet.

They made it to the closet ramen shop and each ordered a bowl of ramen. (Duh what else are they gonna get at a ramen shop.)

Orochimaru and Tsunade waited for theirs to cool off, while Jiraiya dove right into his, resulting in burning his mouth.

On their second bowl, Jiraiya tuned to Tsunade and dared her to lick a metal pole when they left.

"No way!" Tsunade shrieked. "I could really hurt my tongue like that!"

"Oh come on!" Jiraiya retorted. "You can only hurt yourself by doing that if it's been snowing for a while. It only just started to snow! You'll be fine if you blow on it a little. Heck you don't even need to blow on it. Trust me Tsunade, you'll be fine."

"No way! When hell freezes over!"

"What? You would lick a metal pole in hell but you won't here in Konoha?" Jiraiya yelled at his teammate.

Tsunade rolled her eyes at the immaturity of the boy next to her and went back to her ramen.

Orochimaru secretly heard their whole conversation. Well not secretly because, well, hey he was right next to Tsunade after all.

"What about you Orochimaru?"

"What about me?" He asked.

Jiraiya looked him squarely in the eye. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Well why don't you like a pole?" Orochimaru retorted.

"Why don't you?!"

"Fine I will. I'll prove that I'm not a baby like you are."

And with that, Orochimaru stormed out of the ramen shop, to the nearest metal pole. Tsunade followed him to make sure he didn't get hurt and Jiraiya went to see what was going to happen.

Orochimaru turned around to his teammates, "Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah Oro!"

"Don't do it Orochimaru, you'll hurt yourself."

"I'll be fine. If anyone's going to get hurt, it's going to be Jiraiya's pride."

And with that, Orochimaru leaned toward the pole and licked it.

"Nothing to it." He said with his tongue still on the pole. As he tried to pull it away, it would come off. His eyes widened, a small "uh-oh" was audible to Jiraiya and Tsunade.

"Your tongue is stuck now, isn't it?" Tsunade called.

"Uh-huh."

"Wow, this is priceless!"

Tsunade elbowed him in the gut.

"I-I mean: Oh no! Orochimaru!"

Both kids rushed to his side to help. Jiraiya made it worse by trying to pull him off.

"Thop! Thop!" Orochimaru yell.

"Orochimaru, blow out your mouth. Warm up the pole."

Orochimaru did as Tsunade suggested and his tongue started to come off.

"Okay time to pull!" Jiraiya yelled as he grabbed Orochimaru's waist again.

"No! No! NO!"

As Tsunade watched, it seemed to her that Orochimaru's tongue was longer than a normal human's tongue should be. By the time his tongue was off the pole, she was certain that Jiraiya somehow stretched it by pulling Orochimaru off the pole.

And to this day, Orochimaru's tongue has not gone back to the length a normal human being's tongue is. So the moral of this story is, never like a metal pole in the winter in Konoha! No joking. The moral is never like a metal pole in the winter ever. And the same thing could happen if you lick an ice pop right after you take it out of the freezer. So be careful and never listen to an idiot like Jiraiya!