A/N: I love how you are excited about this, Thank you! Here's a loong chapter with some answers from their common past ;) Enjoy!

I don't own anything :)

Chapter 3. Pictures Of You

"Remembering you standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering you running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow"

"Pictures Of You – The Cure"

"So I heard you became like a big-shot bioengineer or something like that, right Dr. Snow?"

Caitlin coughed, almost spitting the gulp of coffee she had just taken. Her state of distress wasn't helped as Barry decided to tap her lightly on the back to help her catch her breath. She lifted one hand to show him she was okay and he stopped right away, raising his hands in surrender.

They were both sitting on a bench in a park they used to hang out in with their friends. It was Saturday afternoon and the sun was shinning brightly in the sky and they had both shed their jackets. They had stopped by Iris' café to buy some coffee to go before settling here. He had called her the day after bumping into each other. She hadn't expected him to call so soon, but she had agreed to meet him that weekend to catch up.

"Yeah, well that kind of fell apart." She croaked, catching her breath. "Long story, for another time maybe." She added when she saw the surprise lift of eyebrow he gave her. "What about you?"

Barry cleared his throat, losing himself in a memory for a moment, before turning his attention back to Caitlin. "Well, as you already know, I didn't finish that forensic degree I had intended of having." Caitlin nodded softly, perfectly knowing the reason why but not wanting to interrupt him. "But a couple of years later, I decided to change track and I became a teacher. You're now facing a super cool biology high school teacher." He said proudly, sitting straighter on the bench, flattening the wrinkles of his button down shirt just for show, making her chuckle.

"Well I'm happy to hear you found something you liked," she admitted softly, "though I'm pretty sure you would've kicked ass at being a forensic expert."

He shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm pretty happy where I am now. And besides, I do some forensic stuff for my girlfriend from time to time."

Caitlin tried to hide the way her breath caught in her throat and ignore the way her heart clenched at the information. Sure she had told her mother that she wasn't interested in jumping into a relationship with Barry. But hearing that he had a girlfriend still made her feel weird things. There was no way she would let him know though. Besides, she couldn't really hold it against him, she had moved on too and even gotten engaged.

She made a weird face. "Ugh, spare me the creepy details."

"What?" Barry frowned at her face. Suddenly, he realised how it could've sounded and gasped at her, his face becoming crimson red from embarrassment. "No! No no no no! Cait!" He squealed, shaking his head frenetically. "That's not what I meant– there's nothing sexual in that statement! She's a cop here and I consult on some cases when they need help."

Caitlin burst out laughing at the state he was in, but sobered up when he glared at her. "I'm sorry, that was just too funny to watch." He let out a relieved chuckled. "Don't get mad, but is there really a lot to do in forensic in a small town like this?" She finally asked, showing the quiet park around them.

Barry shrugged. "Well, not as much as in your big Central City, that's for sure. But Ryker Neve does have some petty criminals that need to be caught."

Caitlin nodded and then a moment of silence settled in between them. They didn't look at each other, they just observed the life around them, sipping their coffees and just thinking.

"How's your father?" She finally asked quietly.

Barry looked down at his cup, his fingers drawing random patterns on it. They both knew what she was referring to. His mother's death. "He's holding up. It's been almost 8 years now. I used to think that the further away I got from it, the less it would hurt." He paused, sighing. "But some days, the pain… it's worst than the day that it happened. We still miss her every single day."

The air between them got heavier as he turned his head to face her. Caitlin saw in his eyes a pain she knew all too well, because she was pretty sure it was the same that resided in her own eyes. And it brought so many painful memories that, suddenly, breathing became really difficult.

"I heard about your father." He continued, his voice barely a whisper. "I'm really sorry. I wasn't in town when it happened, or I would've come to the funeral."

Caitlin closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath, releasing a single tear to run down her cheek. "It's not your fault Barry." She whispered back. She would've loved to have him by her side though she didn't know if she could've handled it. She had been in Ryker Never just for the funeral, running back to Central City just after, to bury herself back into her studies.

"Yeah, but I could've been there for you." He muttered, his voice full of regret.

When she opened her eyes again, she drowned right back into his. At that precise moment, they both realised that the link tying them together all these years ago had actually become stronger in spite of all this time spent apart. They had so much in common and they found strength in the other because they had gone through so many similar things – losing a parent to sickness during their twenties being one of them. He had lost his mother around 7 and a half year ago while she had lost her father a couple of years after. They were two kids that had had to grow up faster than intended. They were different but they still shared that connection. And even if the last time they had seen each other had been 8 years ago, it felt like it had been yesterday.

"What happened to us?" Caitlin murmured to herself, incapable of looking away from his green eyes.

"Life…" He breathed out.

[10 years ago]

"You know, this doesn't have to be the end. We could always try the long distance thing." He suggested, his forehead leaning against hers.

Caitlin closed her eyes, trying to keep her tears from escaping, revelling in how his skin felt against hers. "I don't think that's a good idea, Barry." She whispered, not daring looking at his eyes. Because she perfectly knew that if she did, all her resolve would crumble down. His green orbs had an insane power over her and she wouldn't be able to count the number of time she had gotten lost in them, even if her life had been depending on it.

"Come on, Cait, we could at least try." Barry pleaded, nudging her a bit so that she could open those eyes he loved so much.

Caitlin took a deep breath and finally opened her eyes, but she avoided his, deciding that staring at his chin would be way safer. "You know very well that these things never work. It kills me to do this, believe me, but our lives in the next four to five years are going to be in opposite states, in opposite worlds." Her voice cracked. "I prefer that we end it like this instead of a big fight blowing up after months of piled up tension because we don't see each other. Ending things now will spare us the worst heartache that is waiting for us in the future."

"I'll wait for you then." Barry insisted, not willing to admit that this was the end of their story. He would fight for her, because he couldn't imagine a life without her in it.

Caitlin let out a nervous laugh and shook her head against his. "I can't ask you to do that, Barry. That's not fair for you and for me. I want you to live your life at the fullest. Go get your dream. Be young. Be crazy. Don't wait for me, please." She ignored how her heart was falling to pieces at her own words. But she knew it was the only way she could get him to let go of her and live his life. She didn't want to hold him back. And what she was about to say next would probably crush what was left of her heart. "I don't want you to wait for me." She breathed out, hoping he wouldn't hear it because she knew she wouldn't have the strength to repeat it. But he winced as he heard the words perfectly.

They were both standing in the street outside the little café where all their friends were throwing a going-away party for Caitlin. She would leave the day after for Central City, settling in there a few days before beginning her bioengineer and medical degree. The rest of their friends, including Barry, would also leave for College soon. But Caitlin, being the control-freak that she was, had wanted more days to prepare herself before the beginning of the academic year.

It was the end of the summer and the air was heavy, warm and wet. They had known that a small storm would come during the night, but they were still somewhat surprised as the first drops of rain fell around them. The young couple completely ignored it. They were both standing in each other's arms under a lamppost shining on them in the middle of the night, drops of rain reverberating the light.

There was a lump at the back of Barry's throat. He didn't understand how she could expect this from him. "But Cait, I love you." He croaked. "I don't want a life where you aren't in it."

Softly, Caitlin cupped his face between her hands and finally looked straight into his eyes. "And I love you. So much." She told him passionately. "But I don't see how this can work." A light tremble shook her body as a few tears mixed with raindrops ran down her cheeks. "Maybe, if in a few years we call each other and we still feel the same way, then maybe we can talk about it." She knew she shouldn't be saying this because it was almost the same as saying 'Wait for me'. But she had to hold onto some kind of hope. Because breaking up with him was actually the last thing she wanted to do. "But for now, I think it's better if we stop things where they are."

Barry knew she was right. He had kind of expected it. But it didn't mean he liked it. "Can we say goodbye tomorrow?" He pleaded, his grip on her waist tightening. "My parents are gone for the night. Please stay over. One last night."

"Barry…" She breathed out.

He winced. He wasn't sure if he would be able to handle her rejecting him right now. "Please, Cait. I don't want to say goodbye tonight. I can't… I just…"

Caitlin shut him up by crashing her lips against his and he let out a small moan of surprise before clutching at her waist as one of her hands grabbed the lapels of his jacket while the other buried itself in his wet hair. Their kiss heated up pretty quickly and Caitlin unwillingly pulled away, breathlessly.

Barry wasn't having any of it and dived into the crook of her neck, peppering kisses along the column of her throat, hitting every single of her sensitive spots, showing her in the process how much he actually knew her. Caitlin let herself, heart and soul, enjoy the moment, tilting her head to the side to give him a better access. The rain was falling at its fullest on them now and they still didn't care being soaked to the bone.

"Barry." She whimpered before cupping his face in her hands and reluctantly pulling him away from her neck.

The unsatisfied look he gave her made a giggle escape from her lips. "I don't see what's funny right now." He grumbled.

"Well…" She trailed off, her fingers running playfully along his smooth and naked jaw, making him shiver in the process. "I was thinking that, if your parents aren't at home, what are we doing making out in the rain?" Caitlin teased and Barry's eyes turned a shade even darker than before.

"Let's go." He groaned, grabbing her hand and making his way to his car.

"Wait!" She immediately exclaimed, letting go of his hand.

Barry stopped and stomped his foot on the floor in annoyance, throwing his arms dramatically in the air like a little kid. "What now?!"

Caitlin giggled, a hand flying to her lips to keep it inside. She nodded towards the café. "Well, I think I should say goodbye to them first before I can spend the whole night in your bed." She lifted her eyebrows playfully.

She didn't think she ever saw Barry run so fast towards the café, and that was saying a lot, considering he had been the best on the track team of their high school.

So that's what they did. They expediently said goodbye to all of their friends and left almost running towards Barry's car under the knowing looks of their friends. A few minutes later, the couple had stumbled into Barry's room, clothes lost along the way. And as they had fallen on his bed, Caitlin hadn't been able to keep a tear from strolling down her cheek as he had whispered "God, I love you so much, Cait" into her ear. So she had repeated the same words to him and had decided to show him how much she really loved him that night, knowing it would probably be their last one together.

She hadn't expected the goodbye at the airport the morning after to be so much more painful than the conversation under the rain. But it had been. And her copping mechanism had been to dive into her College work as soon as it began a couple of weeks later, building her walls up around her.

They kept in touch for a few weeks, but it turned out to be way too painful to try to act like simple friends when they both knew they had deep feelings for each other. So the phone calls died down, the texts diminished to one every few weeks, even to months and they didn't meet again until two years after.

Caitlin realised it was her fault that they had fallen apart. But she pushed it aside and focused on her studies. She learned the hard way that, some times, breaking up with someone you were still in love with hurt more than having your heart broken by the other person.

"So, I guess the city life wasn't all you had expected it to be, if you're back here without an expiration date?" Barry's soft voice brought her out of her memories.

Caitlin chased the pain away with a shrug. "Well it was, for a moment, before everything fell apart." She sighed.

"I gathered that much. Are you going to tell me what happen? What made you come back here?" Barry inquired.

She bit her lower lip, not knowing how to engage this conversation. She took a deep breath and decided to just jump into it. "Don't get me wrong, I still love the city, its rhythm and way of life. I think it fits me really good." She paused to glance at him and he just nodded, telling her to continue. "Anyway. I had a great life." She explained, a soft smile floating on her lips. "Right after my college graduation, I got a great job position offered to me. It was my dream job…"

Barry smiled at how passionate she got speaking about it. "So you did catch your dream." He commented.

Caitlin looked right in front of her, avoiding his burning stare, and nodded. "I did. I was the new bioengineer at the head of my own team at S.T.A.R. labs. It was everything I had dreamed it could be." Caitlin spoke wistfully. "And then I met Ronnie there." She added quietly, catching the way he glanced with a frown at her ring in the corner of her vision. But she decided to ignore it. "He was a structural engineer on the particle accelerator we were working on. He liked to joke that he was basically a very high priced plumber." Barry grinned. "We were very different. You know me: I was all straight lines, guarded and hard working. Ronnie brought me out of my shell. He made me laugh."

'He made me find that laugh I had lost when I lost you.' Caitlin wanted to add, but felt it wasn't appropriate. She was still mourning and he had a girlfriend. Besides, she had moved on. At least that's what she kept repeating herself.

She shook her head, chasing those thoughts away. "I fell pretty quickly in love with him and two years into our relationship we got engaged. He made me really happy…"

"Made?" Barry suddenly asked.

Caitlin looked up, surprised by his interruption and frowned at him, not understanding his question. "Huh?"

"You keep speaking about him in past tense." He explained.

Caitlin looked back down at her hands, particularly her left one where her engagement ring was still shining as brightly as the day Ronnie had given it to her. As a habit, she began playing with it, making it turn on her finger. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "There was an accident. At work." Caitlin didn't seem able to form long sentences anymore. "The particle accelerator. It exploded. Ronnie died that night. Saving so many people in the process."

A breath caught in Barry's throat as he silently listened to her. Without even realising it, his hand travelled to her knee and he squeezed it in support. "He was a hero." He finally said, not really knowing what to say to comfort her. He had heard about the particle accelerator explosion nine months ago. But he hadn't really looked into it and had no idea Caitlin had been involved. Had he known, he would've informed himself more.

Caitlin's eyes welled up with tears. "I didn't want him to be a hero." She choked out, her voice thick with pain. "I wanted him to be my husband."

Barry draped an arm around her shoulders and brought her closer, giving her a comforting hug as she let a few tears escape. "I'm so sorry, Cait." He whispered once her head rested on his shoulder to seek comfort.

They stayed like this for moment until Caitlin's phone interrupted them. She pulled away and answered after drying off her stray tears. "Hey… Yes Charlie… No I'm with Barry… Will do… Okay, I'll drop by the grocery store on my way back… Bye!"

Caitlin hung up before apologising to Barry. "Sorry for that. Charlie says 'hi'."

"Well, say 'hi back' next time you see him. How is he doing by the way? Haven't seen him in a while."

"Oh I think he's good." Caitlin smiled proudly. "He took over my father's law firm and he's handling things pretty nicely. I'm glad that he still lives here though. He's taking great care of my mother ever since… ever since my father died."

"Charlie's a great guy." Barry simply commented, still a bit at a loss for words after hearing her story from the past eight years.

A faint smile floated above her lips. Barry and Charlie had always had a great relationship. "Okay, I should probably go." Caitlin suddenly stood up. "I think we woke up enough painful memories for one day and I still have to drop by the grocery store to buy a few things for the dinner tonight."

Barry's eyes followed her silhouette, a bit surprised by the sudden change in their conversation. But he didn't try to stop her, still shaken – he just nodded as she was walking away. She was almost out of sight when it was his turn to suddenly stand up and call after her. "Cait! Wait a second."

Caitlin stopped dead in her tracks and waited for him to catch up. "Did you get the invitation for our 10 years High School Reunion?" Barry asked.

She frowned. "I did…"

"Are you going?" He curiously inquired.

Caitlin shrugged. "I'm still thinking about it. I'll see how I'm handling things by then. Not sure I'm in the mood for celebration these days. Or bring out all those high school memories."

Barry understood perfectly, but still hoped she would be able to make it. Speaking with her made him realise how much he had actually missed her. Sure he had missed her as his girlfriend, but he also dearly missed the close friendship they had. "Okay, well keep me posted if you change your mind."

"Will do." She nodded. "Get home safely." Caitlin added before resuming her walk to her car.

"You too." He called out with a grin that she didn't see.

Caitlin didn't want to bring all those memories back. But it didn't matter if she wanted it or not, spending time in Ryker Neve would bring them back. It already had. She didn't really have a choice. Just spending time with her ex was opening the dam and letting all those moments flowing all over her, almost drowning her.

Like pictures, she could see all those memories displayed around her.

Like looking at old photographs, she felt like she was living them again, with all the love, happiness, pain and heartaches that they were containing. And a part of her was telling her she had to deal with all them in order to move forward in her life.

"If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you"