Part the Thirdeleth: Takumi Burgers vs. Teriyaki Burgers
3:20 PM, AN ELECTRONICS SHOP, AKIHABARA, TOKYO, JAPAN
Lucifer arrived in the Electronics District aka Akihabara aka Akiha around 3:20pm. Outside the eletronics shop where Silmeria was being released, he saw three familiar faces he had seen at Dragon Warrior VIII and Valkyrie Profile release days. It was three Americans who flew over whenever Tri-Ace games were being released in Japan. The three otaku gave him the glare that insiders gave outsiders. Lucifer then withdrew a replica Tri-Emblem from his pocket and said "Come on, Bunny." The three otaku immediately nodded their heads in approval, and pointed to a folding chair.
"Pull it up, friend."
He returned their nod, and grabbed the chair. Then sat it in it, because, you know, people sit in chairs. Like what else would do they with a damn chair?
"Say... aren't you like... a CEO of a really popular corporation that makes that ultra omega popular virtual reality game, Eternal Sphere?" asked one.
"Uhh, yeah. I'm the head programmer, owner, head of business affairs, whatever."
"Why the hell are you waiting in line for a console game then?"
"Because they are fucking badass, punk." Lucifer thought this to be the only proper response.
"Damn, he's hardcore..."
"I sense power overflowing within this one."
"See..." explained Lucifer, "whenever a Tri-Ace game is released, the amount of attention I pay to the Eternal Sphere is like 0. If you were to look at a chart of my productivity, when Valkyrie Profile got released, I like, did nothing for two months."
"Wow... so... is the Eternal Sphere named after Claud's ultimate weapon from Star Ocean 2?" asked one of the otaku. He has glasses, so we'll call him Megane (his real name is Wesley, but no one cares about that).
"Is that why there are large bunnies are in the Eternal Sphere?" asked another. This one had pink hair, so we'll call him Fruit (his real name is Jacob, but no one cares about that either).
"Yup, yup." Lucifer nodded. He'd known all along that true Tri-Ace fans would be the ones to appreciate the Eternal Sphere the most. "You can also fight Gabriel Celeste, Iseria Queen, Lenneth, and Freya in the Eternal Sphere. Looks like I might have to add Silmeria and Arlie too..."
"Oh, dude, that, that's totally awesome! I WORSHIP YOUR AWESOME!" The third otaku guy had like baggy cargo pants, so we'll call him Sir Baggy Pants (his real name is Nate, but no one cares about that too).
"When update 59.78 comes out, Meteo Swarm will be the strongest spell in the Eternal Sphere, and Bunny Races will be implemented."
"Have you ever thought of... buying Tri-Ace with the massive amount of money you have?" asked Megane.
"I thought of it... but... I consider Tri-Ace to be some kind of untouchable holy land."
"Ooooh yeah. I completely understand."
"So what are you guys sacrificing to wait for Silmeria?" asked Fruit.
"Eh, I'm gunna miss tonights episode of Keroro Gunsou..." said Lucifer.
"I'm going to miss Tokko" said Sir Baggy Pants.
"I'm going to miss Fate/stay night... well, maybe not..." said Fruit.
"I'm... not going to be missing much, because tonight is my grandma's funeral!" said Megane. "Silmeria is clearly superior to my weird-smelling grandmother, so..."
The other three nodded in approval.
7:30 PM???, SOMEWHERE NEAR AKIHABARA, TOKYO, JAPAN
Fate, Cliff, Maria, Albel and Sophia had magically managed to get in the Akihabara area by themselves. It took about an hour to go from one place in Tokyo to another place in Tokyo by foot, while they were mostly used to crossing a field in one minute. They were unsure of where this "Silmeria midnight release" thing was, and they had also used up all of their HP and MP fighting traffic lights and people on bikes on their way over. Fate had used Side Kick on most of the traffic lights bending them straight in half, and Maria had used Scatter Beam at bike tires to make the people riding them fall over. Weird people in uniforms and cars with lights had chased them, and Cliff used Hammer of Might on them. Since Albel walked slowly, everything was usually destroyed by the time he caught up, which pissed him off greatly, so he used Palm of Destruction on multiple glass weapons to appease his anger. Sophia had used up all of her MP casting Healing and Protect. The natural thing to do was stop and rest somewhere.
"So, uh, where should we go rest?" asked Fate.
"Well, do we even have the currency of this place?"
"Uhh I think Albel looted the wallets of those guys who ambushed us in the cars with the red and blue lights."
Albel took a large bag with a wad of paper bank notes. "I have twelve papers with the number 500 on them, seven with 1000, and twenty with 100. So that's like... fifteen-hundred... something currency... maggot currency."
"Well, let's go find a place to replenish our health before we continue on."
"Right."
The place our brave heroes in this foreign and strange land ended up going to... was a capsule hotel.
"Uhm, excuse me," said Fate. "We'd like to rest here."
"We don't allow women here..." said the receptionist.
"Huh? Why?" asked Maria.
"Uhhm... dear, you don't want to stay here with a bunch of guys..."
"Fate..." said Sophia.
Fate turned back and looked at Sophia, and right into her huge eyes. He nodded.
"I'm sorry, but, your sexist hotel is... sexist and evil!"
"Uhh... pal..." began the receptionist. He didn't believe he was going to have to actually explain why women weren't allowed a place that mostly drunk men came to goof off at.
"SIDE KICK!" Fate suddenly sidekicked the receptionist through the wall before the receptionist could talk more.
"OW!" yelled the receptionist. He stood up wearily. "W-what the hell do you think..." Albel suddenly put his hand to the receptionist's head. "Whooa are you about to Shining Finger me?" Albel then said "no, it's called Palm of Destruction", then caused a green light to emit from his hand, and the receptionists head exploded off.
"All right," said Cliff. "We've defeated the sexist room-mongering boss at the inn. Now lets rest."
"Yeah" said Fate.
"Okay" said Sophia.
"Right" said Maria.
"Hmph, maggots" said Albel.
When the group of five entered the main guest area, they found the little square box rooms, and got confused. Maria noticed the pillow and blanket, and determined these strange cubes were some kind of advanced sleep chamber developed by 4D beings.
"These cubicles," she said, "clearly use some of kind of advanced technology and science never seen before by our world. The fact this is considered an 'inn' to them is proof of that. Their beings are way more advanced than we could have ever sought to imagine... We have no choice but to figure out howto utilize these capsules."
"Uhh Maria I know you're smart and everything" said Cliff, "but this seriously looks like a god damn box with a pillow. I don't think there's anything special about it."
"But look at that monitor in the corner!" yelled Maria. She leaned into the capsule and pointed to the television in the right corner. "And this control panel!" She moved back to the control panel near the back of the capsule and pointed to it. "This monitor must be some kind of advanced monitoring device that the inn managers use to communicate with the guests of the inn! Or perhaps it can transmit food into your capsule. And this control panel... when I play with this..." - she began adjusting a knob - "I can feel it get colder in here. It must adjust the settings automatically to the person who uses it!"
"I wouldn't put it past these 4D beings to have some kind of scanner around that automatically reads the data of each person..." said Fate. "I mean, after all, they did make our entire world..."
"Yeah" said Sophia.
"Uhh... okay..." said Cliff.
"Whatever... maggots..." said Albel.
"Yes, Fate clearly has the right idea here!" said Maria. "Come on guys, I'm sure we can figure out howto use these. They probably emit a chemical sleeping agent through the same thing that blows air to ensure that people are sleeping. Perhaps you tell the person up front how long you want to sleep for then they give you a certain dosage. Either way, we've got to get in and mess around with these!"
Maria, Sophia and Fate could fit in, but Sophia suddenly got a case of claustrophobia and ended up crying. Fate tried his best to comfort Sophia, but she started whacking him with her kitten rod. Albel was having difficulty putting his sword and claw into the capsule box with him. Eventually he got pretty pissed and Palm of Destruction'd the capsule's entrance off. And Cliff... well, Cliff crawled into one, but found he was too tall to fit his legs in, and that he could only dangle them out.
"Okay, this inn obviously isn't working" said Fate. "Let's try finding some of these mysterious sleeping chambers with more space."
"Gotcha" said Cliff.
"Okay" said Sophia.
"Right" said Maria.
"Hmph, maggots" said Albel.
They left behind the capsule hotel, and went deeper into the city.
8:20 PM???, SOMEWHERE NEAR AKIHABARA, TOKYO, JAPAN
"God dammit Belial... do you think they caused all of this?" Beelzebub put his hands on his hips and stared a plethora of broken street lights, traffic lights, smashed police cars, broken glass, and empty wallets.
Belial leaned down and took a looksie at the damage on the car. He saw sword marks and dents caused by a pair of boots. He then stood up, turned towards Beelzebub, and nodded the affirmitive nod that people nod to confirm something.
"I think if we follow this trail of stuff, we'll find them."
"Damn... they looted all of these wallets too..." Beelzebub flicked his hair back. "So, how do you propose we explain to them that they're not supposed to this crap?"
"Well, what confuses me the most is that the Earth in their universe was modeled after the Earth we live on. Customs, everything. Regardless of this, they seem to be very lost here. Furthermore, except that guy who says maggot a lot, I am pretty sure all of them have been to Earth before."
"Maybe they never went to Japan?" suggested Beelzebub. "They don't even know this place is Earth, as you never explained that to them."
"Well... I guess."
8:40 PM???, SOMEWHERE NEAR AKIHABARA, TOKYO, JAPAN
Beelzebub and Belial followed what seemed like a never ending trail of destruction for a good fifteen minutes. Then they stopped at a maid cafe, drank green apple green tea cherry sprinkles boba tea, talked with a 19-year-old girl in a french maid outfit with cat ears, then went back on their mighty quest on the DESTRUCTION TRAIL with a wagon, two oxen, and a pound of cookies. One ox died crossing the river of people walking around, and Belial got syphilis and- ... ignore the last part...
Anyway, they found that the place where the stop lights quit being broken, the lamp posts quit being knocked down, and the police cars quit being smashed in, was right outside a... love hotel.
"... you don't think that they..." began Beelzebub.
"I think... they did..." mumbled Belial.
Just then, a heart shaped window on the love hotel exploded. Albel appeared from the window frame with a limp body in one hand. He threw the body on the sidewalk, then searched it for a wallet.
"Hmph, maggot money..." he said.
"Uhhm... hey..." said Beelzebub.
Albel looked up. "Oh, it's you maggots from that maggot HQ. What the maggot-christ do you want?"
Beelzebub rubbed his brow. He was working overtime, his lipstick had smeared off on the boba cup, he was kind of sweaty from running around all day and his masquera was starting to run, his thong was starting to bother him, he really just wanted to go into a nice cool place in Akihabara and read Gravitation or Loveless or Sukisyo yaoi doujin, and now some VIDEO GAME NPC was calling him a maggot! This was like the worst day of his life, and, the best part of it was, he wasn't even supposed to be there that day!
Belial, sensing Beelzebub's pissyness to be far beyond the level it usually is, calmly stepped in front of him and spoke to Albel.
"Uhh, we'll help you find the Owner... I mean, your uh Creator. We know where he is, okay? Just quit... destroying everything."
"Well if you FOOLISH MAGGOTY MAGGOTS has known where he is the WHOLE time, WHY didn't you say so to begin with?"
"I was about to, but you all kind of left..."
"...well, blame the blue haired maggots for that!"
"Albel! What the hell did you do?" yelled an off-screen Fate. He was standing in the door way of the room from which Albel threw the limp body. He and Sophia came into Beelzebub and Belial's vision. They were both wearing red robes, and Sophia was holding a vibrator thinking it was an upgraded type of staff-weapon she could use. Fate took notice of Beelzebub and Belial as well.
"These maggots know where our Creator is. Let's go!"
"They do?"
"Yes. The tall mysterious black maggot says he didn't tell us before because some blue haired maggot RAN OFF, you damn FOOL."
"Oh... well... okay then."
"Uhh, would you guys quit destroying everything in sight?" asked Belial.
"Huh? Doesn't it just respawn anyway?" asked Fate.
"..." Beelzebub and Belial looked like they were about to explode. Beelzebub, for one, was pissed because of all of the things listed a few paragraphs ago, and because these people had no common sense. Belial was getting agitated because he none of this would have been happening in Lucifer hadn't gone to get that damn Tri-Ace game.
"For some reason, I take this long agitated silence as a no..." said Sophia.
"Well... uh... I'll go get Maria and Cliff then we'll go with them to the Creator!" said Fate. He ran off.
"CHANGE BACK INTO YOUR CLOTHES TOO!" yelled Beelzebub.
Fate looked back. "Huh?"
"You two look HIDEOUS in those robes."
"Oh... you mean these robes aren't special armor?"
"...NO!" screamed Beelzebub. "They are plain, cotton, red-dyed, robes, that, you, just, wear, casually. They don't add fire absortion OR 30 perfect attack and defense OR movement, they do NOTHING except make you look like a COMPLETE EYESORE."
"Sheesh calm down man" said Fate.
"... CALM DOWN? CALM? DOWN? YOU PEOPLE ARE GOING AROUND DESTROYING OUR CITY AND YOU ASK ME TO CALM DOWN?"
"No, Beelzebub, seriously, calm the fuck down." Belial withdrew his rocket launcher from thin air and immediately whacked Beelzebub in the head with it so he passed out. "All right, get these Cliff and Maria people. I have to explain some things before we go to meet Lucifer."
Carrying the unconscious Beelzebub on his shoulder, Belial led Fate, Sophia, Maria, Cliff, and Albel to a Japanese McDonalds. There he threw Beelzebub in the ball pit in the kids zone, then ordered ten teriyaki burgers, a lot of orange soda, some green tea shakes, and a pile of french fries. He set the tray down at the table, then began talking.
"Okay, in this world, when someone dies, they die for good. Like, you can't just use Fresh Sage on it."
"We have that in our world too..." said Fate. "... Amina. ;;"
"...yeah, but, uhh... what I'm trying to say is, there is no Incapitation, it's just Alive or Dead. So basically, you guys have killed a shitload of people."
"But... those were random encounters!" said Maria.
"...no, you killed a lot of people, and destroyed a lot of public property."
"Those things were puzzle pieces!" said Sophia.
"No... they weren't." Belial took a long sip of his green tea shake.
"Does this... thing you call a 'burger' have maggots in it?" asked Albel.
"...no. It's... just meat..." replied Belial.
"Okay, good." Albel dramatically took a bite out of the teriyaki burger.
"Look, just quit destroying everything, okay? If you don't, then the Creator isn't going to like hearing that his AI's are destroying this world, and he isn't even going to listen to you. He'll probably just look pissed and blow cigarette smoke in your face."
"I see... so you want us to quit... levelling up?" asked Fate.
"...yes."
"Okay... everyone, make your battle plan 'Do Nothing' for now!" said Fate. Maria, Cliff, and Sophia nodded. Belial sighed and ate a french fry.
"...what, e, ver" muttered Albel with his mouth full.
"So, uh, what exactly are we doing here?" asked Fate.
"Eating dinner... because the last time I ate was lunch..." Belial started eating his second burger. "The Silmeria release in like three hours, but I bet there's already a huge line at all of the electronics shops. Either way, he isn't going to even listen to you or notice you until after he gets the game, so we have plenty of time to kill... I mean, waste."
9:05 PM, AN ELECTRONICS SHOP IN AKIHABARA, TOKYO, JAPAN
"Damn, good thing we got here early. There are like 300 people here now, and 20 hot cosplayers." Sir Baggy Pants was checking out of all of the Valkyrie Profile cosplayers as they passed by. A Freya and Frei pair were walking around with their hands on each others hips. They waved to all of the geeks waiting for the midnight release, then groped each other, moaned, then went back to walking around cockteasing people.
"God damn. Lesbian cosplayers..." said Lucifer. He adjusted the collar on his shirt.
"What are you guys into? I mean like... fetishes..." asked Fruit. "Personally... I'm into goth lolis, like, a lot."
"...tentacle rape" muttered Sir Baggy Pants.
"I like... megane girls" said Megane. He adjusted his glasses.
"I'm an imoutocon..." said Lucifer.
"Oooh. An imoutocon... Do you have a sister?"
"...yes..." Lucifer grinned.
Sir Baggy Pants, Megane and Fruit immediately looked shocked.
"An imoutocon... with... an actual sister...!" said Fruit.
"Y-Yeah... Hey, you guys, I got her to dress up as a french maid for my birthday once."
"NO WAY!"
"HOT!"
"LUCKY!"
9:15 PM, BACK AT MCDONALDS
Over in the ball pit, a small child was throwing balls at Beelzebub.
"Mommy mommy! Look at this man with makeup in the middle of the ball pit! He must a be a clown!"
His mother, who was sitting near the play area reading a pocket book, looked up. Her eyes widened, and she immediately stood up and reached into the ball pit for her son. "Come on sweetie!"
"Mommy where are we going?"
"It's okay sweetie the bad man won't get you! Mommy won't let him!" She picked up her purse and ran off with her child in her arms. As she moved swiftly out of the McDonalds door, three men with silver hair wearing black leather MOS Burger uniforms walked into the McDonalds. To avoid lengthly unnecessary description, their names are Lose, Yak, and Kazooie. Lose has Elvis hair and has a deep grunty voice, Yak has long pretty boy hair and has a deep "Scary Rapist" voice, and Kazooie has shoulder length hair and a whiny bitch voice.
"Well, well, well" said Kazooie. "If it isn't our local, friendly, McDonalds."
Lose and Yak stood on Kazooie's sides and sniggered/snickered/laughed like donkey's/something. "Yeah" they both said.
The girl at the McDonalds counter looked up and saw the MOS Burger boys. She stared around the room, and saw the only customers still there were the group of six (plus the unconscious guy in the ball pit).
"MOS Burger... what do you guys want? It's nearly closing time."
"We've come to give you a free sample of our new rice burger," said Lose.
"Last year, we introduced the Takumi Burger... then we made a Takumi Burger with cheese... but now..." Kazooie took out a neatly wrapped, but rather large, circular package and handed it to the McDonalds girl. "Now we have the Takumi Burger... with TWO slices on cheese!"
The McDonalds girl looked in awe at the amazement of being able to fit not one but TWO slices on cheese onto the Takumi Burger's massiveness.
"Taste it!" said Kazooie.
The McDonalds girl unwrapped the burger and stared down into it's massive burgerness. The burger was overflowing with cheese and sauteed onions. She took like five minutes putting her mouth around a good chunk, then bit down.
"It's so..."
"So?" taunted Kazooie.
"So..."
"Yes?" taunted Yak.
"So GOOD" she cried. She dropped to her knees and started crying at the warmth and aroma coming from the Double Cheese Takumi Burger.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Kazooie. "SAY IT! SAY THAT MOS BURGER WILL OVERCOME WITH MCDONALDS WITH THIS WEAPON!"
Fate looked over, then back to Belial. He pointed to the MOS Burger people. "Who are they?" he whispered.
"They're from MOS Burger. McDonalds is number one in Japan, but MOS Burger is second. Basically, MOS Burger and McDonalds are rivals. McDonalds started as an American chain and got pretty popular in Japan, but now MOS Burger is harassing them around and is working at trying to destroy McDonalds to become the top of the fast food chain."
"So... these MOS Burger people are just bullying McDonalds?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
Fate suddenly stood up. "Come on guys, we've got to help McDonalds fight MOS Burger!"
"...didn't you agree to not destroy shit?"
"...yeah but this looks important! We can't just let these three harass this poor McDonalds girl!"
"..." Belial just kind of stared. "...okay, but what did I say about destroying shit?"
"But... but... you said we had time..."
"You can go have a damn random encounter or whatever with them, just don't break anything or kill them."
Fate nodded. He turned to Cliff. Cliff nodded to. Fate then turned to Albel. Albel looked hissy.
"Maria, Sophia, you two stay with Belial and drink shakes, we'll be right back."
Fate and Albel withdrew their swords, and Cliff stood up and punched one fist into other. The three of them approached the silver haired men from behind.
"Hey, you three!" yelled Fate. "Quit picking on that helpless girl!" He and Albel rose their swords in "striking snake attack" position, and Cliff did his "I'm gunna fucking punch you into next year" stance.
Lose, Yak, and Kazooie turned around towards the three. Kazooie put his hands on hips and laughed. Yak and Lose, who had their arms crossed and folded, also laughed.
"A NEW CHALLENGER HAS APPEARED!" said Kazooie. He immediately withdrew his sword. Yak took out of his gun, and Lose adjusted his gauntlet.
"Hey, we're almost matched up on weapons except Albel versus Yak. Albel, go sit down, tell Maria to come over here so all of our weapons match who we're fighting."
Albel turned towards Fate and made the most pissed as shit "bitch are you kidding me" face he could possibly make. Fate took no notice, and signaled for Maria. Maria nodded and picked up her gun.
"Wait a damn minute!" said Albel. He pushed Maria, who was approaching him, into the ketchup and napkins table. Actually, there was other stuff on the counter, but it's not like anyone used it for anything else besides ketchup and napkins. "You have a sword too, why can't you sit your ass down?"
"Because I'm the leader! We're both the leaders of our groups" - he pointed to Kazooie - "and we have swords! So!"
"What the hell are they talking about?" Yak whispered to Kazooie. Kazooie shrugged.
"You... maggot! I declare myself the leader now!" yelled Albel.
"But your stats aren't balanced enough to be the leader!" said Fate. "And you know, YOU DON'T JUST EQUIP SWORDS! You equip... CLAWS. Leaders can't be missing arms either! We all know you're missing a god damn arm under that metal claw crap!"
Albel made some pissy dragon yell at Fate's face then started furiously slashing a booth. He made a "NEHHH" noise at Maria, then went to go sit down. When he sat down, he sat down with all of the fury and the rage of ten thousand stabbing bees and took a long swig of his orange soda. Belial and Sophia didn't even say anything. They just kind of continued eating fries and tried to avoid Albel's pissy glances.
"...uh, yeah, okay, let's continue our battle" suggested Fate. He took his swordsman pose. "We won't let you villains harass this poor McDonalds girl!"
"Yeah!" said Maria. She moved into the place where Albel had been standing, and pointed her gun.
"That's right!" said Cliff. He grinded his right fist into his left palm.
"Yeah, whatever" said Lose. "We've got the power of rice burgers on our side!"
The three fighters on each side immediately started attacking each other. Maria started firing Scatter Beams at everyone, and Cliff punched it out with Lose. Then Fate pulled off an Air Raid that hit the three silver haierd men and the McDonalds ordering counter.
"Dammit" said Belial. "I told him not to destroy stuff..."
"But Fate is a guy, and the Doctor said his special Symbology power was Destruction, so I think it's natural for him to beat the shit out of everything," said Sophia.
"Huh? Special Symbology power?" asked Belial.
"Yeah. Maria, Fate and I were given special powers at birth. I can connect our world with this one, Maria can alter matter, and Fate's is called Destruction. But we don't really know what Destruction does yet."
"... you guys were given special powers specifically to come over to our world and beat us up?"
"Hmm yeah."
Belial's eyebrow raised. "I'm going to have to talk to Lucifer about what the hell he programmed... The fact you were all able to come here and use Symbology and that other NPC's in the game gave you those abilities is... uh... nothing short of amazing, but at the same time, it's pretty damn unnerving."
Two windows shattered in the background.
"I mean... you people could potentially destroy our world, which is why I said to quit beating crap up."
"Oh... I see... so... no one here has special powers either?"
"Well, not like yours... some people say they can talk to the dead and whatnot..."
"...people here can talk to the dead? Wow the 4D world is amazing!"
"Didn't I just tell her they say they can... not necessarily that they CAN..." thought Belial. "Gah whatever... she's a retard with huge eyes..."
"All right!" said Fate. He Maria and Cliff started at the three silver haired men, who were now laying unconscious on the ground. The McDonalds girl, who was crouching beneath the drive thru window in fear, sprung up upon seeing Fate and co's victory. She ignored the fact they had pretty much blown up the counter, the ketchup and napkin counter, and the shake mixer.
"Oh, thank you so much!" said the McDonalds girl. "I don't know who you are... or where your power comes from... but..."
"It's okay miss" said Fate. "I'm just glad we were around to help."
"...but... do you think you could help us defeat more of the MOS Burger people?"
"Huh?"
"Yes... see... we got 'challenged' the other night by some of the top management at MOS Burger. They told us we'd 'settle' it tonight at 10:30 at Shinjuku Gyoen."
"Is that so?" asked Fate.
"Yes..."
Fate closed his eyes and looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he looked into the eyes of the McDonalds girl. Then he moved his eyes down. She was kind of hot, her shirt was kind of tight. Of course he was going to say yes.
"All right, we'll do it."
"Oh, you will? Thank you so much! Tell me when you're ready to go. I can drive us over in my car. Oh, and help yourself to whatever food you'd like. I'm going to go inform the other people that you're going to help us!" She ran off to use the phone in the backroom.
"Fate, should we really be jumping into this?" asked Maria.
"Yeah, I don't think we should be getting involved..." Cliff took a couple of the yogurts out of the refrigeration unit and gulped them down whole.
"But we're already here, and we've already beaten up these three, so we're already involved."
"Yeah... I guess..."
"Besides, 10:30, that's still an hour and a half until 12 when we can go meet the Creator."
"Right."
"Hey, Belial," said Fate. He walked over to the table in the back where Belial, Sophia and Albel were sitting.
"Yeah?"
"We're gunna help the McDonalds girl and her associates beat up some of the MOS Burger people at some uhh... Shi... Shi... Shini... Shin-something... Go-something."
"...you're going to what?" Belial could not believe this people. Did they just help every other god damn group of people they come across?
"Yeah. Come on Albel, Sophia, we'll all go together."
"Oh, now you want my help, maggot..." Albel stood up flicked back one of his wrapped braids that had fallen over his shoulder. "Let's go, maggots."
"All right!" Sophia stood up and twirled her magical kitten rod.
"Uhm, okay, let me get Beelzebub first..." Belial left the main area and went back into the kids zone where Beelzebub was now conscious but laying in the ball pit. Belial stared down into Beelzebub's eyes. "Uh, if you're concious, why the hell haven't you gotten yourself up yet?"
"...because I'm lazy. Carry me more."
"...no."
"Dammit..."
10:20 PM, THAT PLACE WHERE LUCIFER, FRUIT, SIR BAGGY PANTS AND MEGANE ARE IN AKIHABARA
Lucifer and Fruit were sitting in their foldable chairs outside of the electronics shop. Sir Baggy Pants and Megane were running towards them carrying bags of food. One was from MOS Burger and the other from the grocery store.
"Hey where'd you guys go?" asked Fruit.
"We tried going to McDonalds first but it looked like a gang war was going in there, so we went to the MOS Burger instead."
"Hmm I think I own stock in MOS Burger" said Lucifer. He unwrapped the new Takumi Burger with TWO pieces of cheese. "God damn, does this have two slices of cheese on it?"
"Yup. It's their new burger!" said Megane.
"How the hell do you fit that onto there..." asked Fruit.
"I don't know. They must have magic elves with small as hands who can pack a lot of stuff onto a burger.." Sir Baggy Pants then quit talking and started dreaming about small cute magic elf girls pleasuring him.
Fruit leaned over to get a bottle of water from the grocery bag, and in the process knocked a bell pepper sitting in the grocery bag out of the bag and onto the sidewalk. It rolled against the wall and looked lonely. What IS the signififance of this bell pepper! Will Fate & co EVER find Lucifer?
10:45 PM, SHINJIKU GYOEN, SOMEWHERE INBETWEEN SHINJIKU AND SHIBUYA, TOKYO, JAPAN
MOS Burger's top management, Keiji, Koji, Masahito, and Shigenori, and some of their minions stood in a line facing the McDonalds people. The (hot) McDonalds girl, some of her co-workers, then Sophia, Maria, Fate, Albel, Beelzebub, Cliff and Belial were all lined up. No one was really saying anything or doing anything. Everyone just kind of stood there staring at each other for like five minutes.
"So uhm... we going to do something?" asked Cliff.
"...maggots..." muttered Albel.
"Hmph. You McDonalds people..." said Masahito. "Always thinking you're hot shit because of your of American origin."
"MOS Burger is going to teach you arrogant McDonald pricks a lesson you'll never forget. You'll never be able to do business in our territory ever again!" declared Koji.
"Grrr..." the McDonalds people grr'ed and got into fighting positions.
Then Beelzebub suddenly got really pissed off and marched right upto the center, half way between the McDonalds line up and the MOS Burger line up.
"What the hell is he doing!" asked the McDonalds girl.
"I-I don't know!" said Maria.
"Hey, Beelzebub, get your ass back here!" said Belial.
Beelzebub of course ignored them all and started screaming at the MOS Burger people.
"'Your territory?'" yelled Beelzebub. "What the hell? THIS is what the FAST FOOD industry is like? God damn glad I got into the damn video game industry instead!"
"Shut up, idiot!" yelled Koji. "Who the hell are you anyway? I don't remember us challenging people with suits..."
"Hmph, I'm from the Sphere company!" flaunted Beelzebub.
"... SPHERE? McDonalds has SPHERE on their side?"
"...yeah!" said Beelzebub. "As a matter of fact, they fucking do!"
Belial rolled his eyes and approached Beelzebub. "Dude, shut up. If the boss finds out you said that..." he whispered into Beelzebub's ear.
"Crap, guys... they have a Sphere suit with them..." said Keiji. He turned to Shigenori. Shigenori nodded, and stepped forward. He withdrew a grenade launcher from thin air.
"!" Belial immediately drew his rocket launcher and stepped in front of Beelzebub in a protective mnaner. "I too am from Sphere."
"Wow, people from Sphere... you guys are pretty resourceful" said the hot McDonalds chick to Fate.
"Uhh... yeah well..." Fate blushed.
"And we're not just ANY suits, we're two of the top four managers at Sphere. I'm head of the advertising, and Belial here is head of game management."
The MOS Burger people suddenly took steps back. They were clearly out businessed and out skilled.
"And I..." came a voice from the shadows in the bushes "am the head of security." Azazel suddenly jumped out from the bushes with 20 Sphere secruity ninjas at his side. "Break it up kids. You're not supposed to be in the Shinjiku Gyoen after closing time."
"Azazel!" exclaimed Beelzebub.
"It's the weird guy who kept knocking himself out!" said Maria.
The Sphere Ninjas looked menacingly at the MOS Burger people. Azazel pushed his glasses up on his nose bridge and chuckled.
"Where the hell did he come from?" asked Beelzebub.
"I called him and made sure he was alive still, and had him bring over the ninjas."
"...your security force is ninjas?" asked Cliff.
"Yes" the two managers said at once.
"Dammit!" said Masahito. "Keiji, we're clearly outnumbered here."
"Yeah yeah... retreat for now, MOS Burger people!"
The MOS Burger people dispersed and started running away. Before they had totally vanished from sight, Keiji turned around and looked menacingly at the McDonalds and Sphere group.
"THIS ISN'T THE LAST YOU'VE HEARD OF MOS BURGER! WE WILL BE NUMBER ONE!" Keiji shook his fist then ran off.
"Yeah yeah... whatever..." muttered Azazel. He patted the bandage on his head and put his gun away. "Ninjas, good job. You've scared the shit out of some fast food people. I permit you to return to base."
The ninjas all bowed and disappeared into the shadows. The McDonalds people all were relieved that THE CONFLICT WAS ABLE TO BE SETTLED WITHOUT VIOLENCE! The Hot McDonalds girl turned towards Fate and bowed deeply.
"Thanks to you and your friends at Sphere, the MOS Burger people have left for now. I owe you all our eternal thanks." Her and the other McDonalds employees bowed again.
"It's not a problem..." said Fate. "It's good we were able to avoid fighting."
"Yeah... no thanks to us..." muttered Beelzebub. "God damn unappreciative NPC's..." Everyone ignored Beelzebub.
"Please, if you ever go to a McDonalds in the future, tell them that you helped Chiharu. Your food will be free, definitely." She bowed again.
"Oh, thanks a lot," said Fate. He politely bowed back to her.
"Free food! Okay!" said Cliff. He patted Fate on the back.
"Think nothing of it! It is the least we can do for you! We are all indebted to you!" She bowed again. Chiharu and the other McDonalds employees gave their "free McDonalds smiles" at the group. Fate and Cliff blushed, and Sophia shot a glance at Fate and did her "omfg jealous" thing and held her kitten rod angrily and had puffy cheeks.
"Uhhm I could think of something else we could use... see, we're foreigners, and tonight Fate and I could use-" began Cliff. Maria immediately glanced at him and kicked him in the shin. "OW, okay, okay... nevermind..."
Albel shook his head. "Maggots don't deserve sex..." he muttered.
Chiharu and her friends all blushed. After some more "thank yous" and bows, they got into Chihahu's car and left. Fate and Cliff waved good bye. After that, it was back to the Akiha and the Creator/Owner/Lucifer hunt.
"Uhm, you guys, it's like, 11:05. We'd better go soon..." said Belial. He pointed to his watch.
"Right!" said Fate. He turned to his other four party members, and they all nodded together.
"Huh?" asked Azazel. "Where're we going?"
"To find Lucifer in Akiha."
"...good luck with that. My head hurts. I'm going to home."
"What? Hell no. You're coming too!" yelled Beelzebub. "If I have to go Akiha, you're coming with me!"
"No I'm not! I never agreed to do this!"
"Grr... but this could be concerning the Owner's safety!"
"Just because I'm security doesn't mean I'm his damn bodyguard."
"But..."
"It's not like YOU'RE going because of the Owner," said Azazel. "I know what YOU want to do in Akiha."
"Those doujinshi selling shops aren't even open at midnight!" yelled Beelzebub.
"Hah, like that's ever actually stopped you before..." snickered Azazel.
"Uhh, what are they talking about?" asked Maria.
"Well, Beelzebub likes to buy... Gravitation yaoi doujin..." said Belial.
"What is... 'yow-ee doe-gen'?" asked Sophia.
"You... don't wanna know..." said Belial. When he thought about what he was saying, he realized Maria and Sophia probably would've liked yaoi doujin...
"Hey!" yelled Cliff. "We gunna get going or not?"
"Oh, right. Azazel, where's your car?"
"Uhhm, in the parking lot, why?"
"We're taking it to Akiha."
"What the... no you're not."
"Yes we are! If you aren't going to come with us, then at least let us borrow your car!" said Beelzebub.
"...no... hey guys look it's that McDonalds girl! And she's naked!" Azazel pointed behind everyone. They all turned around – even Sophia, Maria and Beelzebub – and Azazel used the opportunity to run off before anyone could catch him.
"Hey, I don't see her!" yelled Cliff.
"...DAMN, I think we're going to have to walk to Akiha..." whined Beelzebub. Belial then shot his rocket launcher in disapproval.
"Oh man... how far away are we?" asked Cliff.
"I almost wish we were in your world suddenly..." said Belial. "If we were in your world, Akiha would be one screen and two minutes of walking away... sigh... Let's go see if the train is still running or not."
"Right! Everyone, to the train!" yelled Fate. Cliff, Sophia, Maria and Albel all nodded in response.
"Come on Beelzebub, let's go find the train" said Belial.
"Noooo I don't wanna walk! Pick me up and carry me!"
"No. You can just stay here overnight in the Shinjiku Gyoen and get in trouble tomorrow with the authorities for trespassing past operation hours."
"DAMN!" screamed Beelzebub. He got his lazy ass up and weakly trailed behind Belial to Akiha.
11:55 PM, AKIHBARA, TOKYO, JAPAN
At 11:55pm, the group of seven travelling by foot arrived at Akihbara. They tried to catch the train first, but the train was packed each and every time. Cliff offered to clear it out, but Belial reminded them of their "no destruction!" pact they made with him.
"Where is the shop!" asked Fate.
"Follow me!" said Belial. He grabbed Sophia and Maria and draped each one of them on his shoulders and held onto them like one would when they had beer kegs on their shoulders. "Hang on ladies... sorry... but we need to rush."
Belial sped off with Fate and Cliff following him towards the electronics shop where Silmeria was being released.
Beelzebub on the other hand was straggling behind everyone. "W-Wait... for... me..." he said weakly. Then he fell over onto the sidewalk. He just didn't have the energy to move anymore, even after his hour long power nap in the ball pit of McDonalds.
When he was on the verge of passing out completely, barely awake, he saw a pair of nicely made black Italian designer shoes out of the corner of his eyes. He looked up and saw a blonde haired man in a suit holding a bag.
"Oy, Beelzebub, what're you doing here?" asked the man. "Did you come to find some more Gravitation doujinshi? Hehheh..."
Beelzebub knew he knew his name. "Lu...Lu... Ow...ner... wait... Be... Belial... he..."
"Huh? Belial? Oh come on you idiot. You don't sound the least bit coherent." Lucifer tried lifting Beelzebub up and into his arms. "Hmph you're lighter than I thought. Come on. I'll take you to my place. You can sleep on my awesome new swedish sleep number mattress since I'll be up all night playing Silmeria. You look like a 72 yourself!"
"Wait... Lu...ci...fer... dont..."
"What? I'm not gunna rape you. Jeez." Lucifer shook his head and continued walking to his car.
"...what...rape...? N...no..." Beelzebub then completely lost consciousness.
"I just said I WASN'T going to do stuff to you..." muttered Lucifer. "The only person in my life is my sister... stupid Beelzebub..."
12:18 AM, AKIHBARA, TOKYO, JAPAN
"Damn, do you see him yet?" asked Belial. Sophia and Maria were sitting on his shoulders scouring the crowd outside the electronics shop for a blonde gaijin. Sophia shook her head, as did Maria.
Cliff was also standing by them, using his tall-ness to search the crowds. Everyone in Japan was a damn midget compared to him, so looking down at people was not hard for him. Albel on the other hand was standing against a random wall conversing with one of the cosplay girls.
"I like your sword..." Albel told the Lenneth cosplayer.
"Oh, thanks, I like yours too" she giggled. She took his words as flirtation, and flirted back.
"What kind of technique do you use?" he asked. She interpretted that as "what style of sex do you want me to womanzie you with?"
"Hard and rough" she replied flirtaciously.
"I see. Interesting for a woman" he thought outloud.
"What kind of 'technique' do you have?" she asked.
"Elegant and awesome" he said. He looked around him, and saw a bell pepper laying on the ground. "Hand me that pepper."
"Oh, sure." The Lenneth cosplayer picked it up and handed it to him.
He withdrew this sword, then tossed the pepper up in the air, did some sword slashes at almost the speed of light, then the pepper landed in his hands in the same shape it was originally in. Then it slowly revealed how it'd been split perfectly into thin slices.
"See? Elegant, and awesome."
"W-Wow..." The Lenneth cosplayer was amazed. Then something hit her. He could slice food awesomely, was pretty hot, and didn't look like he had anything better to do. "Hey... can you cook?"
"Huh?" asked Albel.
Fate was running asking people if they'd seen the owner of the Sphere corporation and/or a blonde gaijin with what Belial described as "flaming pretty boy bangs". He had only been given "No"'s, but that changed when he met up with Fruit.
"The Owner of the Sphere? Yeah, we waited in line together. He and Megane got in first. Sir Baggy Pants and I got stuck in all of the people. So he's probably already home playing it."
"I see, thanks a lot!" said Fate.
"Yeah, no problem." Fruit waved, then took another bite of his 2x Cheese Takumi Burger. It was so huge that he still wasn't done eating it by now.
Fate returned to Belial and reported back what he'd heard.
"Oh fuck..." cursed Belial. "There is nooo way we're going to be able to get his attention now that he's been connected with a Tri-Ace game and his PS2... I was planning on intercepting him before he got home and started playing. This is bad..."
"Well, should we go to his house and try to get his attention?"
"I guess, but I am going to tell you right now, it's not going to work..."
"We have to try!" declared Fate. "The... destiny" he said to avoid using his own name "of our universe is at stake here! Let's get to his house!"
Belial shook his head. "Okay... first... girls you're going to have to get off now."
"Oh, okay, sorry," said Maria. The two girls slid down and back onto the ground.
"Well, let's head to Lucifer's house... oh dammit where is Fate going..." Belial started running after Fate. He'd completely forgotten about Beelzebub at this point. Cliff followed and ran behind Belial, with Maria and Sophia bringing up the rear.
"Hey ladies" said a man in a business suit.
"Huh?" asked Sophia. He approached them slowly.
"Whoa!" Maria immediately took out her gun.
"Ahh I wasn't trying to hurt you or anything, I just can't help but notice two cute girls around Japan who I haven't seen before as idols!"
"Idols?" asked Maria.
"Yeah..." he took out his business card and handed it to Maria. She lowered her gun and read the card with Sophia. "Ladies, the two of you look perfect for some kind of J-Pop band. Give it some thought, okay?" He waved and walked off into the night.
"HEY, Maria, Sophia, you guys coming or not?" yelled Cliff. He was further up the street.
"Yeah, yeah! We're coming!" Maria pocketed the card and ran to catch up with Cliff.
"What's a J-pop band?" asked Sophia.
"I have no idea. I don't think we have time for stuff like that anyway."
"Yeah" said Sophia. She nodded.
Belial sighed and slowly led everyone to Lucifer's house in the DEVOURING BLACK DARKNESS, otherwise known as the night. Despite his warnings, these people STILL wanted to try. Well, whatever. He liked Lucifer's house – he had a new flatscreen plasma HDTV in his living room.
Part 3: Notes
I decided to leave skill names as the US versions, because Vertical Airraid and Reflecting Strike... are longer to type than Air Raid and Side Kick. (aka, I'm lazy)
Arlie is Hrist's Japanese name in Valkyrie Profile.
Megane means glasses.
There is a law in Japan that says Enix can't release on school days for fear of children skipping school. I have no idea if that carried over when they became Square-Enix or if it only applies to Dragon Warrior, but regardless, it's assumed the Silmeria release is taking place on a Friday night/Saturday. The show that Lucifer talks about missing, Keroro Gunsou, airs at 6pm on Friday nights at 6pm. Tokko airs at midnight on Friday night/Saturday morning, and Fate/stay night airs around 1:30am Friday night/Saturday morning. Since F/SN airs at 1:30am, Fruit realizes he might not miss it afterall.
Shining Finger is a move from G Gundam. I find it to be similar to Albel's Kikoushou/Palm of Destruction...
Imoutocon means you have a... uhm... "sister complex."
MOS Burger is #2 in Japan as far as fast food goes, with McDonalds as #1. In 2005, MOS Burger unveiled their huge ass Takumi Burger which is like huge and costs $10. So like, a Takumi Burger with TWO slices of cheese on it, is huegliekxbox.
Keiji, Shigenori, Koji and Masahito aren't really the names of the management at MOS Burger... they're all named after certain people...