You know, I toyed with the idea of going through each of the six years of the academy, but I got lazy. So, I've skipped straight to the graduation test. Let the suspense slowly kill you as I reveal Megami's true powers a tidbit at a time! MUAHAHAHAHA!
It was a quiet day in Konohagakure. The sun was shining, business was going well, and the graduating class at the Academy looked very promising. The Sandaime had finally managed to catch up with his paperwork, the bookstore had just gotten the newest shipment of Icha Icha, and the various clans weren't arguing over something random and useless for once. All in all, it was a good day.
Unless, of course, Uzumaki Naruto had decided to strike.
"Uzumaki!" came the general outcry, the curse coming naturally to the lips of the chunin squad chasing down the blond menace. Said prankster merely grinned eerily like a fox, before leaving his pursuers in the dust. Why was he being chased, you might ask? Well, you see, through the magic of pigments, dyes, and solvents, the Hokage monument now resembled a painting, with the Shodai looking like a clown, the Nidaime was crying Emo tears, the Sandaime looked like a senile cuckoo with crossed eyes, and the Yondaime was brooding with an exaggerated pout.
To all and sundry who were either ignorant, unperceptive, or both, they saw a notorious pranksters' latest exploit. To true shinobi and those in on the secret, it was a masterpiece of stealth and vandalism. Who could paint the Hokage monument without being detected until it was done?
The answer: someone extremely lucky or extremely skilled. Had the blond boy been an enemy, it could easily have been exploding tags covering the monument, which would have crushed half the village in rubble. The lower ranks were appalled; the higher ranks were deeply impressed.
Of course, to the creator of such vandalism, it was a combination of both views. Megami's time in the academy had been, in a word, a total-crock-of-useless-shit-taking-up-her-valuable-time. She had lasted precisely one year, forty-two days, and six hours from the moment she entered Iruka's classroom before she had cracked.
There was no doubt that Iruka was good at what he did, but what he did was brainwash and humor a bunch of children with illusions of heroism. In the six years as the class's instructor, he had taught them: basic martial arts, background knowledge, a vague understanding of genjutsu, how teamwork was a great asset, adequate accuracy, and three E-rank ninjutsu.
There had been absolutely no time spent on psychological conditioning for the killing they would eventually do, stealth training for infiltration operations, survival skills for long-term missions, basically anything a ninja needed in the real world. Megami had been sickened and disgusted from day one; Iruka was doing nothing more than creating loyal cannon fodder.
Finally, after the time above, she had rebelled. She purposely started to fail everything, quite literally making just enough good grades to pass. After a month of this, she had started coming up with the most outrageous ways to demonstrate the skills of a true shinobi that Yuusei, the great Kyuubi no Kitsune, had painstakingly instilled in her over the years.
Thus was born the Blond Harbinger of Chaos. In less than five years, she had: dyed all the Uchiha clan's underwear an eye-burning shade of orange, made money stolen from (bastard) merchants rain from the sky, made a papier-mâché sculpture from the Hokage's SIGNED paperwork, unleashed water-balloons on the Hyuuga complex, etc. No one except a rare few, the mentioned in-the-know people, noticed how incredibly impossible it was to pull off each stunt.
Hence, the current situation: the utter destruction of the symbol Konoha's leaders, the villain of the crime fleeing from the shinobi sent to catch her. Megami was, however, faster than a professional sprinter going all-out at a fifth of her maximum speed with weights. Of course, chakra saturation in a ninja gradually increased their physical capabilities beyond any civilian naturally, but the implications were still impressive.
After an hour of mocking her would-be-catchers with her speed, Megami purposely let herself be caught by none other than Umino Iruka. It was an established routine by now: avoid pursuers, be caught by Iruka, act convincingly. As such, in ten minutes, she was tied up with rope in front of her laughing classmates.
There were three exceptions: Aburame Shino, who wouldn't show emotion if a giant bunny molested him; Nara Shikamaru, who merely groaned "Troublesome," and laid down for a nap; and Hyuuga Hinata.
Megami had worked a miracle upon the clan heiress. She had befriended the girl halfway through the second year, half in genuine desire for friendship, half to nip the growing crush for her alias in the bud; Megami would never subject such an innocent girl to the humiliation of eventually realizing her crush was of the same gender.
The bluenette had turned out to be surprisingly good company and 'Naruto' had been an extraordinary influence as her best friend, rather than a far-off infatuation. Hinata had lost her stutter, had accrued a decent amount of courage, and had finally started to seriously train with her clan. None too soon, as the Hyuuga council had been seriously considering branding her and making Hanabi the heiress.
However, Megami's natural aggression and confidence, however hidden by her disguise, had diffused into Hinata. As such, she now actually fought her sister in spars, instead of holding back so she wouldn't hurt the girl. Also, instead of just giving up when her father criticized her, she took it in silence and tried again until she got it.
The result: Hinata was easily the top Kunoichi in the class. Megami was extremely proud of her best friend, and trusted her unconditionally. She trusted her so much that, just six months ago, 'Naruto' had asked her to look at 'him' through the Byakugan. In an instant, Hinata knew the truth.
Things had been shaky for a few weeks, but Hinata finally came to terms with the news and became even closer to Megami as friend and unofficial sister. Megami was overjoyed at how her friend had accepted her, and had proceeded to confide all of her greatest secrets, from her parentage to her training to her thrallmate.
Hinata, instead of screaming in fear, was vastly interested in Yuusei. Overtime, Hinata had come to see the man… demon… whatever as a great teacher, both for helping Megami gain her considerable powers and being her companion. Hinata knew of all the Bijuu's crimes, but she also knew and accepted that the Kyuubi that had attacked the village and Yuusei in the seal were two different beings, due to the thrall. The lavender-eyed girl, because of this, was the most perfect friend Megami could have asked for.
Which meant that instead of laughing at 'Naruto', the girl winked at her disguised friend and gave her a quick thumbs-up for doing such a great job on the monument.
Iruka went into a prepared lecture on how foolish and childish it was to skip class and pull pranks, before giving a pop quiz as punishment. Megami was suddenly the target of twenty-eight tiny surges of killer intent, barely enough to make her blink. One by one the class went up to Iruka and performed a Henge.
Megami, as per usual, was thinking of a way to make a joke out of the exercise to mock the curriculum. Her idea was perverted, degrading, and would mentally scar everyone in the room. It was perfect.
When her fake name was called, she was released from her bindings and stood before her official teacher, while her real one was already laughing hysterically in her mind. Iruka ordered his student to Henge into him, unaware of the disaster to come. Megami grinned with semi-sadistic glee, setting off alarm bells in Iruka's head, before putting her hands into the Hitsuji seal, gathering the necessary units of chakra (strangely, the ninja world didn't have a measure for chakra; the units idea was developed by Yuusei) and proclaiming "Geiteme no Jutsu!"
In a poof of smoke, Megami had transformed into a naked Sasuke, with a few changes: there were flabs of fat all over the body; the face looked like it was made to brood and pout more than usual; and there was a sign over the crotch that read 'I have a tiny penis'. The male half of the room shuddered in horror, the females screamed in terror, and Iruka had a mini-seizure. And then, the thing talked.
"Hello, my name is Uchiha Sasuke!" it said, in a high-pitched, stereotypical gay voice. "I'm an Emo avenger wannabe, and I jerk off at the idea of killing my brother, even though he's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too strong for me to ever dream of beating! The entire village wipes my ass for me and gives me whatever I want! I have tons of fangirls, but they just don't get the fact that I'm as queer as can be and want to find a nice gay guy like me whom I can dominate to my heart's content with my centimeter-long lovestick! Go spoiled homosexuals!"
The boys in the classroom were either twitching with mortified laughter or jumping out the window to escape, the assorted fangirls were suffering from aneurysms, heart attacks, or just plain shock. Iruka was twitching on the ground, Hinata had her eyes and ears covered while humming at full volume, and the Uchiha heir in question was so incredibly furious that his chakra was literally setting fire to small objects around him. He wasn't gay, he was bisexual!
Mercifully, the thing disappeared, to be replaced with the honorary dobe, who was quickly rolling on the floor laughing so hard the guards at the gates wondered what was going on. "YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACES! I WISH I HAD A CAMERA!" The laugh continued to sing out, Megami temporarily forgetting to put in the masculine tone.
However, her false identity was saved by the boy she had just royally embarrassed, by his flying through the air to tackle her. Out of reflex, she dodged the lunge and put the scion of the near-extinct clan in a suppression hold. The distraction was enough to remind Megami to fake her voice, so what she said next sounded like it was coming from a male's throat.
"Lighten up, teme. It was a joke!" The words fell on deaf ears, though. The cold, logical, semi-human Sasuke was hidden under layers of hubris-fueled rage. It probably would have developed into a full-on wrestling match, where Megami's emerging 'assets' might have been revealed despite her baggy clothing, had not Iruka recovered and broken up the potential fight.
Once Iruka had managed to perform his meager healing arts upon the class, after tracking down the ones who had fled in fear, the students were back in order. Iruka, with vindictive joy, informed 'Naruto' that he would have to clean the entire school until it was spotless, followed by the Hokage monument's clean-up.
The class was let out early due to the day's traumatic events, leaving Megami to begin her role as janitor. Deciding against using any of her various Bunshin, Megami began cleaning the school, thinking of it as training for detecting traps and cleaning your tracks. With this mode of thinking, Megami washed, dried, and shined every inch of the Academy. The Monument took even longer, well past sunset, with Iruka watching her like a hawk as she painstakingly removed the paint she had placed on the mountain. Thankfully, it was water-based.
Three-quarters of the way through, Iruka asked Megami/Naruto a question. "Naruto, why do you do these pranks of yours? They only build you a reputation of being immature." Megami's answer was sweet and simple. "Training," she said, not even glancing away from her work.
Iruka blinked; he had expected the answer to be somewhere along the lines of 'to get attention'. The idea of his student's ludicrous exploits as training was laughable, nigh impossible to believe. However, Iruka did not challenge the blond on semantics. "Naruto, tell you what: if you finish fast enough, I'll treat you to dinner!"
The reaction was instantaneous: Megami cackled like a madman. "It's your wallet Iruka-sensei!" With that slightly ominous statement, Megami halved the weights she wore on her wrists and ankles. Before Iruka's eyes, Megami's speed tripled, resulting in the mountain sparkling in the space of a few minutes.
Iruka barely had time to blink before he was being bodily dragged by his student. When his soles stopped burning from fiction, Iruka found that he was in front of a ramen bar he had frequented a few times. Iruka was a bit shocked at the blond prankster's enthusiasm, but silently followed the hopping blond into the small establishment.
'Naruto' was greeted with obvious warmth by the owner and his daughter. The blonde then informed them that Iruka was paying for everything. Iruka, veteran Chunin, saw the looks of pity from the wizened chef and began to feel worried. Five minutes later, the scarred man was miles past panicked. His most annoying student was eating with all the intensity of a starving dog, the speed of a cheetah on the hunt, and the daintiness of a housecat. The used bowls were staking at an alarming rate, without so much of a drop of broth to mark they had ever been filled.
Just as Iruka wondered if he would have to liquidate his bank account to pay for this one meal, the blonde proclaimed that 'he' was satisfied. Iruka stared at his student's midsection, amazed that there wasn't some external sign of the massive amount of noodles inside. But no, the extremely loose black shirt was still wrinkled as it normally was; no hint of a bulge.
The bill was enough to make Iruka faint, but he paid it, silently swearing to himself that he would never treat this child ever again. It was all the man could do to remind the boy that the graduation test was tomorrow before making his way home. Megami grinned at her teacher's expense, before making her way to her apartment.
The place was mostly unchanged from when Megami first got it, except for the small training dummy in the corner and the bookshelves filled to bursting. They were mostly fiction, as she enjoyed rereading her favorites and finding new elements, but there were a few of her more shinobi-related scrolls tucked in, copied word for word from the ANBU Ninja Intelligence Library. That particular heist had been close, but worth it.
On the days Megami didn't fill the daytime hours with her pranks, she snuck into forbidden places during the night. Her targets had included the Forest of Death's central tower, the ANBU headquarters, the Hokage Mausoleum hidden inside the monument, and once the Konoha Bank, though she had only done the last for fun; she was fine on the financial front.
Megami gently fell to sleep, her internal companion passing the night thinking about the future. Megami had altered the mindscape to his liking: he was now sitting in a meadow surrounded by trees. Should he attempt to leave the meadow, the branches from the nearby trees would form into an impenetrable wall marked with the seal, which was only months away from breaking. Yuusei thought about what to do when the seal broke, how Megami could accomplish her goals, and sometimes he just thought. In this way, the night was passed.
Megami woke up just as the sun rose above the horizon, stretching her body to work out some kinks. Once that was done, she leapt out her window, headed towards her old training ground from six years ago. Once there, she did her calisthenics, now 150 each. After that was done, she ran her usual one-and-a-half marathon around the village.
When her leg muscles were burning, she paused, performed a minor Suiton jutsu to simulate a shower, before heading back to her apartment for breakfast. When her belly was full, Megami exchanged her black shirt and navy shorts for a near-identical pair, carefully hid her ponytail with a minor genjutsu, before making her Ukiyo clone.
The construct had been useful; the kunoichi training was at least more interesting than Iruka's, albeit mostly useless. Sure, Megami knew a lot more about flower-arranging and the tea-ceremony than she ever thought was possible, and it would probably help in infiltration, but she could have easily learned the same from the library, which she had practically absorbed over the years.
Nonetheless, she made Ukiyo every day, though she planned to have it fail the graduation test today. There was no need to mess up the rosters with a student that would disappear permanently the day after the test. Megami let the clone have a ten minute head start, before serenely making her way to the Academy. She debated whether to play the barely pass game, or to make her old identity go out with a bang.
When she arrived, she took her usual seat next to Hinata. The predictable gossip about how 'the dobe and the Hyuuga' were dating had died long ago; it was clear to a blind man that the two were close friends, but nothing more. She and Hinata chatted about which missions they hoped to get when they passed, until Iruka called the class to attention.
"Today, you will be taking the exam to determine whether or not you will become Genin of the proud village of Konohagakure. The test will compose of three parts: a written examination, a taijutsu tournament, and a ninjutsu portion. The papers are on your desks; begin."
The next thirty minutes were filled with the sounds of scratching pencils. Megami decided that she would show some of her real skills, and answered almost every question correctly, purposely missing a few so that Iruka didn't get too suspicious. When the papers all collected, Iruka with his assistant Mizuki led the class outside to the training yard. Iruka explained the rules there. "Two boy's names will be randomly picked, before they spar with pure taijutsu until I or Mizuki declare a winner. This process will continue until we have the final two, who shall compete as usual. The winner will receive an automatic hundred on this portion of the test. We're grading on a point system, so don't think you've failed just because you lose your first fight. The tournament shall be repeated for the girls. Afterwards, we will return inside for the ninjutsu portion. The first fight is between Aburame Shino and Uzumaki Naruto. Hajime!"
The two called moved into the middle of the field, while the other students stayed by the sidelines. Megami quickly sized up her opponent. Shino wasn't allowed to use his Kikaichu bugs, but that didn't mean he was a push-over; the boy probably used the Academy style with a few outside moves thrown in. Megami simply centered herself, before settling into the basic form of the Kamiken.
Shino raised an eyebrow at the unfamiliar stance: 'Naruto' had his legs spread at shoulder width, with the left foot ahead with the right at a diagonal behind it. The blonde's body was held so that the left side was presented to Shino, while her arms were held loose and hanging, totally relaxed. Shino noted that his opponent's center of gravity was very high, so he prepared himself for some jump attacks.
A leaf was pulled by the wind from a nearby tree. It drifted on the zephyrs, before it landed in-between the two combatants. It was a silent signal, and the two rushed forward. Shino was faintly surprised at his enemy's speed, but kept his focus, throwing a textbook jab at 'Naruto'. The blonde's arms came up, one twirling around Shino's arm, grabbing it and twisting it uncomfortably. As Shino bent to the right with his arm, Megami's other arm came up, punching the bug-user straight in the solar plexus.
The blow was surprisingly powerful, and the Aburame involuntarily crumbled around the fist. As Shino bent at the waist, Megami jumped up, throwing a snap kick at the boy's face while still holding onto his arm. The prepubescent boy went from curling forward to leaning back from the force of the blow, his entire body lifting off the ground. As the two were in the air, Megami physically lifted the boy above her head, before throwing him towards the ground. The whole sequence took perhaps ten seconds.
Shino's sunglasses were cracked, his nose was bloody, and he was knocked out before he hit the ground. The class and teachers stared in disbelief; right in front of them, the dobe had utterly destroyed the quiet Aburame with just four moves. The blonde wasn't even breathing hard! Iruka cleared his throat to break the silence, sent Mizuki to take care of Shino, and gave Naruto the hundred he deserved, wondering where the boy's moves had come from; he was only average with the Academy style, and the one the boy had used was foreign to Iruka's experienced eyes.
Megami walked back towards the group, the other student's giving him a wide berth, to stand next to Hinata until her alias was called again. She heard the other students talking about how she had decimated Shino. She didn't care; that was the way the Kamiken worked. There was only one tenant to the entire style: remove all who stand in your path. It was just simple and vague enough to provide a focal point for the various kata.
Megami watched as the other boys fought it out. Shikamaru took one punch before giving up, Chouji proved to be very resilient, and Sasuke showed why he was rookie of the year, despite the third-degree BURN that he had gotten yesterday. Megami's next two opponents were disposed just as easily as Shino, further increasing the mix of interest and fear directed at her. It got down to her versus Kiba, while Sasuke went up against a civilian who was doing surprisingly well thus far.
Kiba fought like a berserker, charging forward blindly while dishing out broad, powerful slashes with his sharpened nails. However, his momentum proved to be a weakness just as much as strength: Megami gave a punishing haymaker to Kiba's chest during one of his charges. The canine-boy folded like origami paper. Sasuke, predictably, dealt with his enemy with the characteristic Uchiha grace and power.
After a brief respite, Sasuke and 'Naruto' were called for the final match. Sasuke, while still angry over yesterday, kept his head and reviewed what he had learned about the dobe's new style. Even without the Sharingan, Uchiha had a natural gift for analyzing a style and figuring out how it worked after only a few times seeing it.
From what Sasuke could tell, 'Naruto' focused on neutralizing attacks, and then inflicting crippling blows. There were few blocks, the blonde focusing more on dodging with 'his' impressive speed. Sasuke predicted that he had to either be faster than the dobe, and he suddenly wasn't sure he was, or seizing the first opening he found and keeping up the heat.
The two didn't move for a few minutes, each waiting for the other to move first, each subtly shifting stances to block moves before they happened. Eventually Megami, impatient at best, rushed forward towards the last loyal Uchiha. The boy smirked; bingo. Megami went for a leg sweep, but Sasuke jumped over it, already moving his leg to kick Megami in the chin. Said blond grabbed the limp, before slamming its owner to the side before regaining her feet. Likewise, Sasuke rolled with the impact to lessen the damage, crouching after his inertia ran out.
Sasuke revised his strategy; he couldn't go into the air like that. This time, he rushed forward, aiming a punch at Megami's midsection. She twirled in place, deflecting the punch and bringing herself into the Uchiha's guard. However, the broody genius pulled off some pirouettes of his own, bringing his right leg in a swinging kick with Megami's head. She smirked, leaning back to avoid the hit, simultaneously bringing up her right leg. Call it a low blow; call it dishonorable, it was still effective. Megami's right foot made solid contact with Sasuke's crotch.
The power behind the blow sent Sasuke flying forward, clutching his groin in pain all the while. Many boys winced. Before Sasuke could break through the pain, he felt an arm wrap tightly around his throat in a sleeper hold. "Uzumaki is the winner," Iruka stated, making a note on his clipboard. Megami let the Uchiha go, going to lean against the wall of the courtyard. Meanwhile, Sasuke's mind tried and failed to process what just happened. He was an Uchiha! Only an Uchiha was able to beat another Uchiha. And yet, the dobe with no clan had done it, without any apparent effort. He would have called it all a bad dream, except for the pain in his scrotum. As the arrogant genius tried to come to terms with what happened, the girl's tournament began.
The tournament went quick; almost every girl was a fangirl, and thus never exercised in fear that Sasuke didn't like sweaty girls, and skipped meals constantly to stay thin. Ukiyo and a few others outright gave up, while the remainders were cut down by Hinata like rice paper. In ten minutes, Hinata had her perfect score.
The class then made there way back inside, Shino and a few fangirls brought back to life by ammonium carbonate aka smelling salts. Once every one was back in his or her seat, Iruka explained the last part of the exam. "You will be called in alphabetical order to perform one the three ninjutsu we taught you, chosen by me. Mizuki and I will grade your performance and give you a hitai-ate should your average score of all three tests be a passing grade."
Megami waited patiently while Shino, then Chouji, and so on went out of the room and either came back with a hitai-ate or a dejected expression. She smiled warmly at Hinata, who was wearing the symbol of a Konoha shinobi around her neck. Eventually, her fake name was called. She calmly got up and went to the examination room, where Iruka and Mizuki waited behind a desk.
"Naruto, I want you to create three or more Bunshin," Iruka said, secretly worried; the 'boy' seemed to have problems with chakra control. Megami just sighed; she hated the jutsu, because it actually required fractions of her chakra units. However, she dutifully made the three hand seals, gathered three groups of two and a half units, and pushed them out through her hands.
In a poof of smoke, there were four of Megami, though one looked a little pale and ghostly. Megami inwardly sighed; her chakra, both supercharged and bountiful, made B- and A-rank jutsu easier to perform than E- and D-rank. However she still practiced them so that she could, in a pinch, perform them: look at how many lives Kawarimi alone had saved! Iruka looked over the Bunshin and said "Well, it's a close call, but you pass the minimum requirements, Naruto. That, with your impressive writing and taijutsu scores, means you pass. You may take one of the hitai-ate on the table."
Megami grinned, and took the headband, tying it around her forehead to keep her bangs out of her eyes. She then calmly walked back to Hinata, accepted her quiet congratulations, and waited until the end of the day. She wondered if she should reveal her true identity now. No, she wanted a dramatic entrance for herself.
When the bell rang, Megami calmly walked outside with Hinata. The two said goodbye, before Hinata went with the Branch member sent to escort her while Megami started on her way home. However, she was stopped by a surprising individual. "Naruto-kun, wait up!" Megami turned around, to find that none other than Mizuki wanted to talk to her. "What is it?" she asked, alarm bells going off in her head from the man's odd vibe.
The man grinned sadly, before saying "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun, but I'm afraid to say that, with your scores over the year, we can't actually let you pass." Megami immediately sensed a lie; she had 'acquired' the grade book, and she should have been passing, just barely, but still passing. "So, I think that I should let you in on a secret extra credit assignment." The white-haired man then outlined how Megami was supposed to steal the Forbidden Scroll and learn a jutsu from it to pass.
Megami almost laughed out loud. Was she really that convincing? Only a complete and utter moron would belief the crap that Mizuki was spewing! It required high-jonin level stealth to enter the Hokage Tower undetected, and the entrance to the scroll library that held the Forbidden scroll was right across the hall from the Hokage's office. It would take a master of infiltration to even dream of getting the scroll and coming out of the tower alive. And, the jutsu in that scroll, the weakest of which was A-borderline-S, had chakra requirements that made even the ANBU captain, the second-most powerful man in the village, gulp.
In other words, completely impossible for a freshly-minted genin. 'But,' Megami thought, 'he would know that. But, he also knows that me and Hiruzen-jiji are close, so I could probably waltz right in to meet him, incapacitate him and the ANBU with something like the Geiteme no Jutsu, and grab the scroll before anyone recovered'. Megami gained a tiny modicum of respect for Mizuki; his plan to steal the scroll by playing on the fears of the class idiot was dumb, but it could work, provided the 'carrier pigeon' stayed trued to form.
As Megami thought all this, outwardly she acted the perfect role of 'overeager schoolboy'. With a promise to meet Mizuki in the forest, Megami continued on her way home. She couldn't refuse, because Mizuki could probably change her scores if she refused, meaning she would have to repeat the year, which would be very annoying. Plus, Megami smelled the perfect chance to reveal her true identity to the world. She loved dramatic entrances.
And so, Megami calmly waited until nightfall to carry out her little plan.
It was nightfall, and the moon shined like a celestial pearl in the sky. Mizuki made his way through the ninja highway in the trees, headed towards the clearing where the class idiot was waiting, hopefully dead from chakra exhaustion. Mizuki grinned as he thought about how well his plan had worked. The news that a certain blonde prankster had stolen the Forbidden scroll had been music to the white-haired man's ears. He just knew that the brat had used some vulgar transformation to knock out the Hokage or something like that.
And now, he made his way through the forest of giant trees, to claim the scroll and join his master Orochimaru. However, he became aware of a presence slightly ahead of him, moving at the same speed as he was. Mizuki realized that it was Iruka, and silently cursed. The annoying teacher would probably let the brat in on the truth, or take the scroll if the prankster was dead. It would be bothersome either way, so Mizuki put on some speed, so he could join up with Iruka and pretend to look with him before stabbing him when they found the brat.
The bronze-skinned Umino glanced at Mizuki, but continued going forward in his search for his student, oddly going straight towards where the brat was supposed to be. Mizuki chalked it down to the man's strange ability to find the boy when no other ninja could. In a few minutes time, they both landed in a clearing occupied by a naïve blond and the folio that listed jutsu powerful enough to be used against a Kage.
Mizuki was disappointed in the boy's lack of unconsciousness, and was also suspicious as to why the boy looked like he had been expecting them. Despite this, he put on a smile and asked, in the tone he thought befitted a concerned teacher, "Naruto-kun, there you are! We've been looking for you."
The boy deadpanned "I'd hope so, considering that I just stole arguably the most dangerous object in the village. Under your orders, no less." Mizuki clenched his teeth: now he had to kill Iruka. However, he was slightly unnerved by the boy's attitude: it was much more serious than the boy had ever been before. "Still," the boy said, continuing with his tone, "I'm glad you're here. Now, I have an audience." Iruka, speaking up, asked "An audience for what?"
The boy grinned, and both men present felt a tingle of awe at its sheer dark glee. "My unveiling," was all he said, before he exploded in chakra smoke. Mizuki gulped, because where once he had only sensed the chakra of a mid-level Genin, he now felt a well of chakra that felt bottomless in its sheer size and power. As the smoke cleared, he witnessed one of the most shocking sights he had ever seen.
Standing before him was a young woman, who looked to be in her early-teens, though her chest had already grown generously for someone in her age group. She was tall for a girl, closer to six foot than one might expect from someone her age. Her hair was held in a ponytail that reached to her lower back, gold like liquid sunshine and shimmering in the glow of the moonlight. The front of her face was framed by two long strands of hair, reaching her chin. Her skin was a light brown, like it had been in the sun for a few weeks. Her eyes were a crystal blue, and seemed to have an unnatural depth. Her features, from her eyebrows to her lips, all seemed perfect; Mizuki mused for an instant that she would be a heartbreaker when she grew up.
She was clothed in a sleeveless black tank-top, made of a seemingly durable material, and her arms were covered with armored mesh, like a certain purple-haired snake mistress. Her legs were covered with black pants that allowed full range of movement, held by bandages on her lower legs. Her feet were bound in steel-toed boots, of the ninja variety so as to be flexible and able to resist wear. She had kunai-holsters attached to the side of her thighs, and shuriken-pouches on the back of her supply-belt sometimes used by ninja. At her left hip there was a coiled chain whip, and at her right there was a kodachi sheath; odd, as they were usually strapped to the back. Around her forehead, the Konoha symbol flashed proudly on its metal plate on her hitai-ate.
Iruka was the first to recover. "Who are you? Where's Naruto?" he asked, a hint of fatherly worry in his voice. This obviously dangerous beauty laughed at this, and her voice reminded Mizuki of the roar of the waves and wind: beautiful, but powerful. "There is no Naruto," she said, focusing her eyes on Iruka, who shivered under the penetrating stare. "There was never a Naruto. He was just a cover I used until the time was right. As to your first question, my name is Megami, Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune and presumed dead after I was attacked six years ago."
Mizuki felt his blood run cold. He vividly recalled the night he had joined the crowd hell-bent on finding the Kyuubi bitch and making her pay. He remembered finding the child, black with filth, and watching as she was beaten beyond recognition as a human, and the joy he had felt as he ravaged her body for his own pleasure. He also could still see Hatake Kakashi, with his fist of lightning piercing her chest.
This girl looked at him, and he could see the hate in her eyes. "I remember you, Mizuki. I remember how you were the first to rape me and that you were the one that set off the others. If you knew how much I wanted to kill you when I first saw you in class, you'd shit your pants." The girl, the Kyuubi bitch he had long thought dead, then smiled. "You have no idea how glad I am that you told me to steal this scroll. Now, I can execute you as a shinobi of Konoha for coercing a fellow ninja into committing an S-ranked crime."
Mizuki forgot about the scroll, as his anger at the monster in human form that had killed his family rekindled. "Like hell!" he screamed in sudden fury, before grabbing one of the two Fuuma shuriken on his back and letting fly. Iruka was still too shocked from the realization that the container of what had killed his parents and his favorite student were one and the same to do anything. He didn't have to.
As if it had been choreographed, the girl now revealed as Megami leaned to the left, letting the giant throwing star fly past her. Mizuki let the other go, but it was dodged with the same effortless grace. Too enraged to think clearly, Mizuki rushed forward to engage his target in taijutsu. The blow was caught just as Shino's had been, but this time Megami's hand clenched hard enough to crack Mizuki's ulna and radius. The man howled with pain, before lunging out with a kick. It was intercepted by one of Megami's own, this time breaking the tibia and fibula. Before Mizuki could even react to the pain, Megami's fist was suddenly in his gut with enough force behind it to rival Tsunade in a PMS rampage. Mizuki's arm was torn out of its socket as the punch sent the rest of his body flying across the clearing and through a tree.
Mizuki's screams of pain echoed through the night. He tried to get up, but Megami was suddenly there, with a kunai pressed to his throat. Her smile would have made Yuusei proud. "I could just kill you now," she said, pushing the dagger in slightly for emphasis, "but that wouldn't be as satisfying as knowing you were suffering the tender mercies of that interrogation guy, Ibiki. So, you get to live." With that, she tapped his temple with a chakra-laden finger. He was instantly unconscious.
Megami got up, and dusted off her clothes. It was her outfit chosen specifically for when she was a girl, and she liked it immensely. Thorn and Stem were comfortable weights on her hips, and the clothes in general gave her a sense of power, the feeling that anyone looking at her immediately thought 'total badass kunoichi'. She walked back towards Iruka, making a Kage Bunshin to carry Mizuki. She had become extremely efficient at the jutsu; she could perform it without seals and use half the chakra it normally took. And, since her chakra was supercharged and came in spades, she could literally make an army without lifting a finger.
Iruka looked like he was in a mild state of shock. "Who are you?" he asked, staring at Megami with fear; the girl who had revealed herself as a Jinchuuriki had utterly destroyed a Chunin with pure taijutsu, dislocating his held arm with the force of her punch. Megami thought about the question. "Well, this morning I was your student," she said, a little mirth in her voice. Iruka laughed a little, but was still on guard. "Come on; I need to give this scroll back to the Hokage; he only let me borrow it to lure out Mizuki." Without another word, Megami started walking towards Konoha with the scroll, her Kage Bunshin dragging Mizuki along.
Iruka followed in a slight daze, watching as the girl he had thought a boy for six years move with an unconscious grace. He had always resented the 'Kyuubi child' but he had never hated her, and had certainly not taken part in the torture she had experienced at the villagers' hands. He didn't know what to make of her: treat her exactly like Naruto, resent her as he formerly had, or just go with the flow. He decided on the last one. Ten minutes later, he was in front of the Hokage himself, the bruised body of his fellow teacher dragged off towards the interrogation chambers and the scroll still in Megami's hands.
"Ah, Iruka-kun, I see that Megami has let you in on her secret," said the village leader, smoking on his pipe with a serene expression. "And Megami-chan, would you mind handing back that scroll there? I have no doubt you've somehow memorized it, but I'd still feel safer if you gave it back." Iruka blinked; to think that the Hokage would so casually speak of a near-thirteen year old girl memorizing a scroll containing S-ranked Kinjutsu!
Megami smirked knowingly, before tossing the large scroll to a seemingly empty spot, before an ANBU materialized and caught it. The village elite bowed to the Sandaime, before carrying the scroll away. "Now," the Sarutobi said. "Megami, I'm glad that you've finally revealed yourself, but now we have the Council to worry about. They don't seem to grasp the fact that they were only meant to advise me, not order me to do things to satisfy their own gains. Still, they could cause a lot of noise, so prepare for a chorus of 'The demon must die!'" Megami only shrugged.
The Sandaime chuckled at her dismissal, before turning his eyes to Iruka. The man unconsciously straightened his back and stood at attention. "Iruka, your students are going to be a hassle when they see Megami tomorrow, and I'd prefer the civilian families hearing of this after I can settle down the major clans. I am charging you as Hokage to think up the most convincingly lie you can to explain how the 'dobe' was really a Jonin-class female the whole time." Iruka gulped, before glancing at the blonde girl next to him. Jonin-class? At her age?
However, the girl didn't react to this, and the long habit of obedience held. "Hai, Hokage-sama," he said, already imagining how his class would react. Hiruzen nodded, before waving them away. "Go home to sleep. I need to meet with the jonin to determine the teams." Iruka nodded and turned to leave. Megami grinned, said "Goodnight, ojisan," and flickered out of existence. Iruka raised an eyebrow, but his mind was too desensitized to be surprised. As he made his way home, the elderly Hokage smiled; things were DEFINITELY going to get interesting around here.
The next day, all who had graduated the test the day before entered the Ninja Academy, going to their classroom to await their team placement. Those who entered Iruka's classroom were in for a surprise. Seated where the dobe usually sat was a girl, the most beautiful anyone in the class had ever seen, armed like a serious ninja. The boys stared, while the girls became self-conscious. However, everyone wondered exactly who this unknown girl was. Surprisingly, Hyuuga Hinata sat down right next to her, and the two started talking like they were old friends. Most people were surprised, since the girl was only this familiar with the dobe, who surprisingly wasn't to be found.
Finally, just as Iruka was about to come in, Kiba sauntered up to the new girl and asked, secretly checking her out, "Hello, who are you, new girl?" The girl stopped her chattering with the Hyuuga heiress to look at the boy. "When asking someone's name, it's proper manners to give your own first." Her voice was clear and high, with a hint of majesty and power. Kiba, in his own little world believing himself the Alpha and this bitch worth his time, said with a surprising show of manners "My name is Inuzuka Kiba." As he said this, his eyes zeroed in on the new girl's well-developed chest.
The girl grinned with amusement, before holding up three fingers. "You want to know who I am. I'll give you three words: Geiteme. No. Jutsu." Kiba's jaw dropped along with the rest of the class. "NARUTO?!" came the startled cry, to which the fair-haired beauty merely shrugged.
Sakura, irritable at the dobe at the best of times, yelled "Ha, ha, Naruto. Now drop that disguise!" Megami looked at the pinkette with distaste. She'd never liked her, and her self-proclaimed undying love for the Uchiha automatically marked her as an obsessed fangirl. She ignored the girl, returning to her conversation with Hinata, whom had taken her true appearance in her stride.
Kiba, meanwhile, was suffering from damaged pride and embarrassment, and quite rudely said "Come on, dobe. Drop that dumb Henge!" When he was ignored, he yelled "Enough with the joke, Naruto!" before bringing his arm up to bonk the still-disguised blonde on the head. In a flash of movement too quick for his eyes to see, his fist was caught by Megami's petite hand. The rest of the class was shocked; first the dobe pulls off this Henge joke, and now he stopped one of Kiba's fists without looking?
Megami looked up at Kiba, looking annoyed. "It's bad manners to hit a lady. And before you call me Naruto again, let me tell you that this isn't a disguise! Naruto was a disguise." As she said this, Iruka entered the room. Megami let go of the confused Inuzuka's fist, while said boy made his way to his seat, his familiar Akamaru barking at him to soothe his ruffled temper.
Iruka looked at the class, noted how they were all staring at Megami, and prepared his speech to the class. "Congratulations, everyone! You are on your way to becoming proud Shinobi of Konoha. I can see that you've already noticed Megami. Let me assure you that she was indeed our class prankster. You see, at a young age Megami was placed in danger due to circumstances I am not allowed to divulge. It was the Hokage's decision that she be protected by taking up a new identity, namely that of Uzumaki Naruto. However, it was decided that when she graduated that she could take care of herself, and so she was given permission to cast off the Naruto persona. And so, here she is." The class all stared at Megami, trying to wrap their minds around how the dobe that they had known for so long was in fact this girl. Sasuke, however, was suffering from a severe blow to his ego, as he realized that he had not only been beaten by a no-name with no clan, he had also beaten by a girl. Only an Uchiha could beat an Uchiha, and Uchiha women were inferior to Uchiha men!
Megami silently applauded Iruka for his lying skills. It was so full of half-truths and vagueness that only the outright suspicious or the Nara clan could tell it was a lie, and Shikamaru was still asleep. After giving the lie, Iruka continued with "Now, I am going to call out a list of teams and that team's Jonin sensei. We make these teams to maximize the usefulness of fresh genin, and to increase your skills alongside your companions. If you do not wind up on the team with your best friend, I'm afraid you'll have to deal with it. Now, Team One is comprised of…"
Megami wondered what team she would be on as Iruka read one through three. The old man wouldn't put her with Sasuke, despite her alias's status as dobe, because the Council would have gone nuclear, as they had probably found out about her. Besides, there had been an uneven number of graduates due to Ukiyo and a few others failing, so the Council had probably slipped in an ANBU to 'protect the last Uchiha' or some stupid crap like that. As for Hinata, she would probably play tracker with Shino and Kiba, and Megami knew that the Ino-Shika-Chou trio was going to be renewed. That left her with a bunch of fangirls and civilian boys with maybe one or two from minor clans with extra training.
Her musings were rendered unnecessary by Iruka calling out "Team Four: Raikou Shima, Isagiyoi Banjin, and Megami. Your sensei will be… Mitarashi Anko." Only Megami read the mingled anxiety, fear, and mild infatuation in Iruka's voice. It was warranted; Megami had seen the torture specialist around town and aside from practically flaunting her considerable assets, the woman was downright crazy. Still, she was surprisingly powerful for her rank as Tokubetsu Jonin, and Megami had no doubt that she would be interesting.
Megami's thoughts turned to her teammates as Iruka moved on. Shima was a fangirl, almost as obsessed as Sakura or Ino, but at least had good control and reserves going for her. Not much compensation, but Megami thought that with a little work and some deprogramming, she could turn out okay. Banjin, on the other hand, trained constantly with his father, brother, and three uncles, all jonin. The boy was a severe sexist; not surprising, since his mother had died in childbirth and his only female contact had been with the fangirls, all of whom were generally weak. Megami sensed a rough start, but felt that the boy could turn out to be a good friend. Megami vaguely recalled him working with ninja-wire, so she decided to look out for that.
As the rest of the teams were called, with a collective groan from the girls when Sakura and Sasuke were assigned to the same team with a 'provided teammate'. Megami continued to talk with Hinata through lunch, discussing teammates with a half-joke on Hinata's part that maybe Kiba would stalk her. Megami made a mental note to keep an eye on the Inuzuka heir; the boy had the makings of a real lecher, and with his view of the world, he didn't exactly hold the feelings of girls in high regard, since the 'Alpha' could have any 'bitch' he wanted. She wished her friend luck, before deciding to go meet her teammates. "Well, might as well see what I have to work with. Ja ne, Hina-chan." Hinata smiled and said, in her quiet voice, "Good luck, Megi-chan."
Megami made her way through the courtyard, looking for her teammates. The other students seemed to unconsciously give her a wide berth. Megami chuckled as she realized why; her Henge into Naruto had always been interwoven with genjutsu so that her true powers wouldn't leak out, as most would keep their eyes on anyone, from toddler to retired merchant, with as much chakra as she had. Her peers sensed her vast chakra on the subconscious level, and instinct dictated that they avoid someone as 'dangerous' as her. Megami was just glad that no one got in her way.
She found her teammates together in a far corner, not talking to each other. Megami sat down near them, studying them with as much open rudeness as they were at her. Shima wore a deep purple happi kimono, with her clan crest of a ship on the sea on her back. Her pants were black, and much tighter than they ought to be, and stopped above her ankles clothed in standard Shinobi sandals. Her ash-blonde hair fell stylishly down to her shoulders, and her mud-brown eyes seemed to sparkle as she talked. Her pale complexion complimented the whole.
Banjin, with skin like oiled teak, wore a black vest, showing off his corded arms and clinging to his chest muscles, impressive for his age. Megami was fairly sure that the boy was as physically fit as he could be at his age. His hair was the same color as his eyes: midnight ebony. Around his wrists he wore bangles, which Megami noticed were outfitted with ninja wire; the boy would be able to shoot it out with a flick of the wrist and some chakra to guide the strings. His shorts were baggy, letting him move comfortably, and held standard kunai holsters. Instead of sandals, he had opted for black sneakers.
After a few minutes of staring at each other in silence, Megami asked "Are either of you going to talk, or are we just going to wait in this awkward silence?" There was no reaction. "Okay, I was really a girl the whole time. So what?" Still no reaction. "Could one of you say something before me start blowing things up in boredom?" That worked. Banjin cracked an eyebrow, as if to ask 'are you serious', while Shima seemed to gather her courage to speak.
"You beat Sasuke-kun. How?" she asked, her voice sounding like it was underused. Megami bluntly said "I avoided his attacks and then kicked him in the balls. That's how." The girl seemed to cringe at the slightly vulgar term. "What, the fangirl who plots to get in the Uchiha's pants along with twenty others of her kind is a prude?" Banjin couldn't suppress a snicker at this point, while Shima's cheeks darkened in a blush that made her skin seem mottled and uneven.
The casual slinging of insults on Megami's part probably would have continued indefinitely, had not the call to come back inside came. The three of them got up together, Megami's two peers dragging behind her, and went back to their classroom to await there sensei. They didn't have to wait long. Almost as soon as they sat down, one of the windows exploded, yielding a spinning ball of khaki and purple, four kunai, and an opening ball of cloth. The kunai embedded themselves in the walls, holding up a giant banner that read 'Welcome the super sexy and cool sensei to Team Four: Mitarashi Anko!"
The ball of color landed in front of the banner, revealing the infamous ex-apprentice to the Hebi-Sannin. Her purple hair was held in a ponytail/bun reminiscent of Shikamaru's pineapple do. Her sizeable chest was hidden from the world by nothing more than an opaque layer of fish-net. She wore an open khaki trench coat, loaded with weapons if the bulges were anything to go by, and a brown miniskirt that stopped less than halfway down her thighs. She had shin- and forearm-guards made of steel, and wore a pair of thin, black sandals.
In short, half the males in the classroom suffered nosebleeds as their hormone-fueled minds went into overdrive. Megami was impressed by the display; it wasn't easy to aim accurately while spinning through the air. She turned to face the class and yelled, in a fashion not unlike Megami's alias, "Alright, you green-horned brats! Would the unlucky saps that got saddled with me please stand up, while the rest of you kindly stop looking at my chest?"
There were blushes galore, including Iruka, while Megami, Banjin, and Shima stood up to be acknowledged. "You're the pipsqueaks I need to deal with? Well, follow me! We've got a bit of a run before we get to our training grounds; it's this lovely spot outside the village named the Forest of Death! Now go!" With that, the scantily-clad woman turned around and jogged out the door, her new students belatedly following her.
Anko kept a punishing pace and by the time they reached the village gates, Shima was breathing heavily and lagging behind the sweaty Banjin and the fresh-as-a-daisy Megami, whom slowed her pace to become even with Shima. Now, Megami could probably have spent all her time until the Chunin Exams blowing off everything and only working when the moment called for it. But, she knew that even someone as powerful as her couldn't do everything alone. She couldn't kill every bad guy, and so Megami decided that it would be better in the long run if she became friends with her team and brought them up to her level instead of leaving them in the dust.
Thus, she ran alongside Shima, offering encouragement and secretly sending tiny bits of her chakra into the perspiring girl's body to give her some energy. If the girl was surprised by her aid, she didn't show it, and together they reached the clearing outside the dreaded Forest of Death where Banjin was greedily sucking in oxygen and their sensei leaned against the fence waiting for them.
Just as Shima's respiration rate reached normal levels, Anko pushed herself off the fence to stand before the three children. "Listen up, maggots! Just so you know, I am technically not a Jonin. However, last night, the Hokage offered me a 'trial run' of sorts: if I can train you squirts to the point that you all pass the first time you take the Chunin Exams, then I get promoted. Therefore, it is now my job to shape you all into something that the village can throw at a few dozen enemies and sleep safe afterwards. But," she exclaimed, her eyes flashing with sadistic glee that sent shivers up every spine except Megami's, "I'm not going to waste my precious time on some worthless sacks of phlegm. So, I'm going to put you three through a little test."
Banjin puffed up his chest, trying to make his muscled form more intimidating as he asked "What kind of test? Didn't we just go through the Academy test yesterday?" This was met by hysterical laughter on his sensei's part, and surprisingly a snicker from Megami, who tried to cover it as a cough. The purple-haired kunoichi finally mastered herself, before asking incredulously "Don't tell me you thought that pathetic little course yesterday was the real test! Konoha doesn't have the time nor the resources to keep every hopeful that comes out of the Academy. The Academy test weeds out the hopeless, but the Jonin test weeds out the insufficient. And fair warning, I'll only take on the best."
With that, the woman settled into a stance, putting her students on alert. "The test is simple: you three have to drive me to the point that I use my Kuchiyose no Jutsu, which I only use in emergencies. You are authorized to use any and all force you individually deem necessary, including deadly. Just to warn you, I won't be sitting idle; I'm going to track you three down like animals and beat the hell out of you. Good luck; you'll need it. You have two hours; begin!"
I'm sorry for how short it is, but I swear that I'll update sooner. Enjoy your lives!