Chapter Three: Friendly Confessions

It didn't take us long to reach Cherbourg and pick up more passengers for our journey to New York. With everything more or less going swimmingly since we left Southampton, I was finally relieved of duty for the day and made my way to my cabin to retire for some well deserved silence and relaxation before we reached Queenstown.

Once again I'd more than likely be there on duty overseeing the tenders that would be ferrying even more guests to this luxurious liner for our journey to New York. I was approaching my door, almost home free when I heard a familiar voice call out from behind me.

"Will!" Henry called out to me; I just hoped he wasn't going to ask me to return to my duties just of yet. Though I admired and greatly respected my Chief Officer Henry Wilde, I couldn't quite help but wonder why he was here. Surely I'd proved myself worthy enough to Captain Smith on the Olympic?

I shook the thoughts from my head as silly nonsense and looked to my friend now stood beside me. "Hello Henry." I smiled in return fiddling with the key in my hands, trying to get the key into the lock so that I could cross the line of 'no return' for a short while, Henry was a good master of willing someone into performing the 'small task' that turned out to be 'the BIG task that took hours out of your rest time.'

"What can I do for you?" I enquired, he seemed edgy, like something was on his mind, and he failed to respond immediately, so I pressed further, this time ceasing my fumbling with the keys, genuinely concerned for the welfare of my friend.

"Can we chat?" He asked, rather more seriously than I'd expected, this had to be serious and I nodded. I turned to my door and unlocked it steadily, with calm hands and a clear mind. I stepped in and allowed him to follow on behind me.

My key was dropped on a nearby table and I quickly poured two stiff drinks for me and my friend. I offered it to him but he politely refused. "I can't stop Will I'm on duty."

"Then what are you doing here?" I asked, again his manner was disturbing me, I didn't want to keep him from his duty, Captain Smith would have his head, let alone my own. But he was reluctant to speak; he almost sat down in the chair across the room but decided a gentle pace would be sufficient for now.

"Will…Will I don't know about this ship." He finally spat out, much to my slight amusement. "What do you mean old chap?" I enquired, sitting on the edge of the bed and sipping at my drink.

"There's a very odd feeling to this ship, it baffles me and confuses the darn heck out of me. It's almost as if we shouldn't be out here…As if we're tempting fate." He sighed dejectedly and finally collapsed back into my chair. I could tell all too well that this was annoying him, it was written all over his face. "Henry come on…This is Titanic, not the Olympic, not any other vessel that's just waiting for disaster to happen. She's unsinkable remember?"

"I know, I know Will…Its just…" Henry sighed heavily again his hands covering his eyes as he rubbed them with the palms. "Maybe I'm just tired, not even two days in and I'm already stressed to pieces." Henry worked himself up a lot; I always figured that it was because he cared so much. He was a hard worker and had to be to get where he was today.

I took a long sip of my drink, staring down at it for a long moment before looking up at him. "You're not tired or stressed Henry, you're just anxious. You want this journey to be as big as every one of these people has hyped it up to be." I tried to speak from the heart, but it a gentlemanly way of course. "If it makes you feel any better I have this same anxiety, except I'm slowly letting it go. I'm settling into the Titanic, learning about her, how she runs, her smells, her faces even the way her engines hum in that certain way."

Henry smiled slightly; I knew I was picking him up, even just a little. But this talk would be far from over if I knew Henry Wilde. "I was just thinking about all the press attention this is getting…I mean what if I mess up? Do you think White Star Line would give me the axe?"

"Why on earth would they do that Henry?" I enquired, unbelievably; Henry was one of the best officers you could get. I knew I was now almost definitely contradicting my earlier thoughts. But what the heck, he wasn't a mean person either.

"I'm not….Well maybe I am…I just don't know Will." Henry finished, sitting back in the chair. I was tempted to find some words of humour – a joke maybe that would change the subject. But I knew I couldn't, I wanted him to be able to talk to me, to open up about anything. We were and still are good friends; I wouldn't ever give that up. So I listened to the silence for a long moment, wanting to find the right words when he stood suddenly.

He marched over to the door and paused at grabbing the handle, thankfully because I wasn't finished yet. I followed him to the door, drink in hand and stood beside him. "Can you honestly tell me that you're afraid for your life and safety aboard this ship?" I enquired, he never replied so I continued. "Well you have two choices…You can wimp out of the biggest deal of your life, or you can stay and face it like a man."

He laughed looking at me "Is that what they call first officer to chief officer treatment these days?" I laughed tapping the top of his arm. "Listen whatever it is, we'll face it together, you're my friend, I'm not going to throw you overboard and use you as a life raft."

He laughed and it was a clean result from my point of view. He was easing for now and so I ended the conversation with a friendly confession. "Henry I wouldn't use you for a life raft, I'd just climb up on your shoulders and drown you." He again laughed tapping Murdoch's own shoulder back. "You're right Will; I'll take it all on board."

I smiled once more and finally saw Henry off, watching him return to his duties for a moment before sitting myself. I knew I was going to enjoy this short break, one way or another and so I relaxed back into the chair and began to drift away to the slight breeze of the sea as it whistled past my window.

If Henry was more than just worried he never let it show, I never questioned him about it further except for the night of the sinking. But a lot of things were going to happen between now and then.