Disclaimer: See last chapter.
"And then there was nothing.. no hope, no love.. nothing."
Rachel looked around the small, cold and dark room, wincing in pain as she looked down at the binds that tied her hands together, dark bruises forming on her wrists already. She sighed, slowly sitting up and leaning against the concrete wall, tears falling down her face as she put her feet on the grubby mattress.
The brunette tried to wrap her arms around her knees, crying out in pain when the metal dug into her pale skin, droplets of blood dripping down next to her feet. Her fingernails dug into her exposed knees, slightly rocking herself back and forth. She was trying to hold the tears back, wishing she was strong enough but they fell anyway, running down her dirty face, leaving a streak that softly exposed the pasty skin beneath the mixture of dirt and mud. She stared ahead, looking at the blank wall in front of her, biting down on her lower lip.
She resisted the urge to scream, scream for someone to save her, scream for Finn to come and hold her. Instead, she sobbed and more and more tears fell down her eyes, hitting the mattress but she stayed still, her eyes not moving from that one spot on the wall as she imagined being able to burn a hole though it in order to escape her own personal hell.
She hated herself. She hated herself for letting this happen, for letting it get this far; too far. She loathed herself for letting him win, and she dug her nails deeper into her skin, trying to take in the situation. She watched her tears fall, dropping down her leg and fading before they reached the mattress – she could only wish she would fade.
She cursed herself for not letting Finn stay in her room, or not letting anyone else stay in the room. But then at the same time, she was thankful because he might have hurt them and she knew she would rather stay in this cell, than live here knowing she was responsible for one of her friends, or the man she loved, being hurt. If there was one thing she could be happy about, it was that everyone she loved was safe, even if she wasn't.
She smiled a little at the blood that now fell freely from her wrists as the metal continued to dig into them, the pain was welcomed and it meant she was alive. The blood was the one thing to let her know she was breathing and she clung to that pain with every single ounce of strength she could muster.
She clung onto the hope that soon, very soon, they would find her and Finn would take her into his arms and tell her everything would be okay. And she would believe him, she would look into his eyes and she would believe every word he told her, because she loved him more than anything. She closed her eyes, her mouth twitching into a small smile as she pictured Finn banging down the door and rescuing her – her prince in shining armour. She knew it would have to happen, he would never give up on her, and she would never give up the hope of him coming.
She kept her eyes closed, leaning her head against the cool surface of the wall, thinking about their relationship and how happy she had been with him before this mess. Hope was good.. hope is amazing when it's the only thing you have left.
~ .. ~
Finn slammed his hand down on the table in front of him, staring at the police, his friends and the adults. They could all see the anger in his eyes before he turned around, his fist colliding with the wall behind him. He shook his head, thinking about what had happened three days before.
He knew he should have insisted on staying in that room, he should never have listened to her when she told him to leave, that she was fine. He could have even asked someone else to go into the room with her, there was so much he could have done to protect her but yet, he had done nothing and now she was missing.
Kurt looked on in shock, kind of scared of the violent Finn they all knew could come out at certain times. He sighed and looked around the room, knowing nobody would ever forgive themselves if anything happened to the girl, his best friend.
Finn looked down at the floor, looking back up for a moment to stare at the photograph of the Glee club, only really seeing her beautiful face looking back at him. He stared at the paper headline on the table, the huge words 'missing' screaming out at him in red – red meant danger, blood, rage, hate, anger. He shook his head, trying to clear his head because red could also mean courage, determination, strength and love. "Just hang in there, Rach." He whispered to the photograph on the front page of the paper, grazing his fingers along her smile.
He chose to ignore those around him, not caring what anyone ever thought of him. He didn't care, and it was the first time he didn't, he wasn't worried about showing his true feelings in front of these people. "We will find her, Mr Hudson." The woman in front of him gave him a small smile, her FBI badge flashing into his mind before he looked at her. He sighed, this was all a huge mess, they should have found her by now.
He nodded, muttering something about needing to be alone before walking out, without a look behind him. He found himself in the bathroom, kicking a wall as tears finally fell down his face, she was gone and he had no idea how to protect her. He knew this guy had a deep obsession with her, he killed for her, he was so in love with her.. but none of this would help them find her, none of that told anyone where he had Rachel.
He heaved a deep sigh, looking at himself in the mirror before raising his fist to punch his reflection. He hated himself so much, he hated himself for leaving her alone, he hated himself for believing that she would be okay and he hated himself for giving into the stubborn girl too easily. He knew she wouldn't speak to him right now if he had insisted on staying with her but at least she would be safe and she would get over her anger as she always did. At least he would be able to hold her in his arms when they caught the asshole who did this to her. But no, she was alone with her stalker and a murderer, and at the moment, nobody had a clue where she was.
He let his hand drop, turning away from the mirror as a sob escaped his mouth, he should have known something like this would happen, he should have protected her and now she was alone and terrified and anything could happen to her. Anything.
~ .. ~
He watched her as he walked into the small room, a tray with her favourite food and a cup of hot coffee in his hands. He stared at her as she just sat there, her eyes not even flicking over to him as she went through her usual routine of pretending like he never existed, instead, she stared at the wall in front of her.
He noticed the blood dropping down her wrist, and the dried blood that dripped down her legs from cuts he couldn't see. He heaved a deep sigh, looking at her pale face, her hollow eyes with dark circled underneath – giving away the lack of sleep she had been having since she arrived at their home. He hated himself for letting her do this to herself, biting down on his lip when he remembered the first thing he had fallen in love with her for – her bright smile and the way her eyes lit up as she laughed, and now that sparkle, that wonderful happiness.. it was gone. It was gone and the girl he had fallen in love with was gone.
He placed the tray down on the floor, smiling at her. He noticed her eyes slightly flicker towards the food, her nose wrinkling in disgust before turning back to look at the wall. He found himself wondering what she was thinking about, how much she hated him. None of this was right, she was supposed to have fallen in love with him by now. She was supposed to love him just as much as he loved her.
"Rachel?" He knelt down in front of her, smiling when she looked at him with nothing but terror in her eyes. He loved the way he could scare her but at the same time, he hated it. Her eyes moved to look at the gun he held to his side, which he put into his pocket quickly and lifted both his hands up, "I won't hurt you." He whispered, frowning when she didn't say anything. Her eyes seemed to burn into his soul, he couldn't focus as he tried to stay put, without letting her know how uncomfortable he was feeling right now.
She wanted to scream, she wanted to tell him that he already hurt her. The very fact she was here, alone, away from those she loved.. that hurt her more than any gun could. He reached out for her, brushing a strand of hair from her face before quickly pulling back when she flinched. "It's okay, you're safe with me." She shook her head, and turned away from him as a lone tear fell down her face.
"You will understand this soon." He murmured, picking up the coffee and handing it to her. She looked back at him and then at the coffee, biting down on her lip; she was thirsty and she knew she had to hang on for a little while before she completely gave up hope. Her hand trembled as she took the cup from him, her eyes wandering to the other side of the room as he watched her, waiting for her to take a sip from the drink.
She looked at him for a second, before taking a small sip, her eyes closing as the warm liquid ran down her throat. She held it closer to her, seeking warmth from this cold room. He noticed the way she shivered, panic rising through him as he got up and ran upstairs. Rachel watched him leave, wondering if she had done something wrong, wondering what he was going to do to her now.
"I am so sorry.." He whispered, running back to her with a large, thick blanket which he wrapped around her shoulders, ignoring the way she shuddered when he touched her. She stared at him, thinking back to all those programs she watched, teenage girls being kidnapped and killed – why was this man different? Why was he being so nice?
She looked down at the coffee, trying not to cry, "You're going to fall in love with me someday." He smiled at her, sitting down on the bed next to her. She gulped and closed her eyes tight when he spoke again, "I will make you a deal okay?" She nodded slowly,
"I'll keep you here for one month, and if you haven't fallen in love with me.. I will let you go." She moved her chin to rest on her knees, thinking of a whole month in this place, it seemed like a lifetime but she agreed. She knew she could never fall in love with him, and she knew that deep down, he knew it too. She loved Finn, and very deep down.. he knew she did, as well.
Rachel looked down at her arms, tears falling down her face, she had no idea which was worse – sitting here and waiting for the moment he cracked, or sitting here after being hurt by him. She shook her head, at least she was safe – this way, when Finn saw her next, she would be safe. She hoped.
~ .. ~
She looked over at the desk in the corner of the room, walking over to it slowly to pick up the diary he had left her two weeks ago. Her fingers ran along the cover as she sighed, two whole weeks had gone by and not a sign of help had arrived. She sat down on the chair, picking up a pen and started to write on the pages as she did every single day. She bit down on her lip as hard as she could, more tears falling down her face. She didn't want to be here and if he remained true to his word, she only had two weeks left.
She looked over at the corner of the room where he had placed a television, she knew people were looking for her and it was all over the news but she knew that the stories would die down soon, and before anyone knew it, any mention of Rachel Berry would be nothing but a small, three line column for every month anniversary of the day she went missing. It was the same with every teenager that went missing.
She would be nothing but a memory, a teenage girl who turned up in the papers every now and again, it would go from once a month to every six months and then a year. It would just to inform people she was still missing, she was still out there somewhere, but no one knew where. Have you seen this girl? She shook her head, people would begin to wonder – what ever happened to Rachel Berry?
She looked down at the page in front of her, writing slowly as all the thoughts ran through her mind;
It's been two whole weeks and yet I am still here. I don't know what he wants from me – does he honestly believe I can fall in love with him? Does he not understand that I am in love with Finn? Is he incapable of understanding that by taking me away from those I love most, he is only hurting me? I want to go home, I just want to be around my own things. I want my dads to take me in their arms and tell me everything will be okay. I just want Finn to hold me close and tell me he loves me. It's cold and lonely here, I just want to feel loved once more. I want to feel safe, I don't feel safe here, I will never feel safe here.
The news reports have decreased already, just like I knew they would. They have gone from one every hour, to one every day. Soon it will be once a week, and then only when they have a lead – if they ever had a lead. I'm starting to give up already, even though I promised I wouldn't. I look at the television though, at all my friends and I can tell they have given up too. They have nothing to go on, nothing to save me. I have nobody.. I am nobody.
I just wish I could fade into these walls, I wish I could close my eyes and never wake up. I long to awake from this nightmare that I know is my reality now. I wish. I wish. I wish. Someone save me.
She looked down at the page, her tears hitting the pages before closing the book and putting it back in it's place. She sighed, getting up off the seat to go back over to the bed, wrapping the blanket around herself as she watched Mr Shue on the news, begging for her return.
She closed her eyes once she saw her friends pop up on the screen, she had been clinging onto the hope for so long now and everyone else had given up, she didn't see the point anymore. Hope was gone, fear had replaced it. She was scared of what was going to come, would this be the room she died on? Would his face be the last she saw? Would it be over quickly? Could she just pretend to love him and have faith that she could escape?
She shuddered, laying down as more tears found their way down her face, she looked at the television and stared at Finn as he stood next to Mr Shue, and she could see those unspoken words in his eyes – I'm so sorry we can't find you. We have nothing, if this carries on; we're giving up. I'm sorry.
She closed her eyes at the thought, finally letting go of that hope she had been clinging to. They were never going to find her, she was going to die. Maybe they would find her dead body in a few months, or maybe a few years. She sighed, digging her nails deep into her arms. Hope was lost on her, hope fades when her friends hope had gone. Her deserve to be saved soon disappeared when she looked into Finn's eyes – the boy she loved so much – and she saw nothing but apologies.
There was nothing they could do for someone who had disappeared off the face of the earth. There was nothing they could do to help her; so why should she bother helping herself?
~ .. ~
He watched her as she slept, her eyes fluttering as a light moan escaped her lips, moving from side to side as she dreamt of some unexplained nightmare which he could only imagine. He picked up her diary, like he always did and read through it slowly. Anger took over, reading five words over and over again, I will never love him.
He sees the words at least once on every single page, flicking through constantly. He watched her sleep, realizing then she would never love him – after three months of being here with him, all alone with him and she still hadn't fallen for him. Nothing had gone to plan, he had everything planned out before she arrived – she was the one. She was going to be the last one, she was supposed to be the one who stayed with him, she would be the one to live and now, she only had a few months left and it was all up to her if she lives or dies.
He clenched his fist, shaking his head as he watched her sleep – probably dreaming about him – the man he wasn't, the man he would never be able to compare to according to the girl he loved so much. He went over to her, kneeling down next to her, not being able to resist the smile that appeared on his face when he reached out to touch her pale face. He moved her beautiful, long hair from her face, feeling the way her body shook as she became aware of the fact he was there.
He could see the fear in her eyes as she looked up at him, she had been waiting for this moment, the moment he would hurt her. He hadn't touched her in three months, and now was the time. Now was the time he showed her that she wouldn't get away with this, he was going to make her pay for hurting him. "Get up." His eyes darkened as he stood, staring at her.
He smirked when she whimpered, nodding as she unwrapped herself from the blanket so she could stand. He watched her stand with her back against the nearest wall, it was obvious to both of them that something had changed. She whimpered again, louder this time at the sight of his clenched first, the way it slowly raised, "How dare you hurt me?" He snarled at her, punching her hard in the face.
She gasped at the contact, her own hand making contact with her already swollen cheek as she looked up at him, tears falling quickly, "I-I d-don't.. I.."
He looked at her, realizing that those were the first words she had spoken in over two months, he could hear the strain in her voice as she tried to speak to him, her eyes drifting away from him and to the wall she always seemed to hold such an interest in. "How dare you cheat on me with that high school idiot." She shook her head, biting down hard on her lip, screaming in pain when he hit her again, and again, and again, and again..
He watched over her limp body, laying there bleeding out onto the concrete floor. He shook his head, he had started to hit her and he just couldn't stop. It just carried on and on and there was no going back, all the pent up anger finally came out and now there she was, the love of his life... laying on the concrete floor beneath his feet, dangerously close to death.
He kicked her one more time before picking her up and roughly throwing her onto the mattress. He pecked her lips, walking out the room – she had been so perfect up until now. She was going to be the only girl who made it, but if she carried on acting this way, she wouldn't be around for much longer. She would have to be on her best behaviour from now on if she wanted to live.