The Death of Pinchy
Zarbon was doing some spring-cleaning with Kiwi and Apple; Freezer suggested that Zarbon keep his room tidy. Kiwi was dusting and Apple was polishing, whereas Zarbon was picking things up and putting them in his closet.
"Hey Zarbon, did you change Pinchy's water?" asked Apple.
"Yes I did, and I caught a lot of crickets yesterday too and put them in his cage." Zarbon said.
"Well I'm glad you're not one of those kids that depend on their parents to take care of their small animals; I used to have to do that." Kiwi said.
"Wait you had children?" asked Apple.
"Well I used to have a family yes, but sadly my children were murdered by my girlfriend and she then shot herself with a laser gun." Kiwi said.
"Wow that's so sad." Zarbon said.
"Well what can I say, that was a long time ago and I never wanted to go out with any girl ever since then." Kiwi said.
"I'm sorry for your lost." Zarbon said.
"It's all right Zarbon, just be lucky that you don't have kids." Kiwi said.
Apple rolled his eyes, "Shall we clean Pinchy's cage?" asked Apple.
"Sure let me get him into his plastic container first." Zarbon then opened the glass cage and took the scorpion out and put him in the plastic container, he looked at Pinchy, funny he was not moving.
"Hey Kiwi I have a question?" asked Zarbon.
"I don't know anything about scorpions, except they give me the creeps." Kiwi said.
"What does it usually mean when scorpions are put into a plastic container and don't start moving?" asked Zarbon.
"What are you talking about?" asked Apple.
"Whenever I usually take Pinchy out of the cage and put him into a plastic container, he usually starts turning and moving, but he's not moving!" said Zarbon.
"Let's take a look!" said Apple, who looked at the very still scorpion. "You're right he's not moving!" said Apple.
"Ok step aside!" said Kiwi carrying a pencil.
"What are you doing with that pencil?" asked Zarbon.
"Relax I'm just going to poke him with it." Said Kiwi, so he did just that and flinched.
"Don't do that, how would you like it if someone did that to you?" asked Zarbon.
"I don't think he really cares now, because he's still not moving!" said Kiwi.
"You mean?" asked Apple.
"Yep he's in a much better place!" said Kiwi.
"He died? He died?" asked Zarbon in shock.
Tears started falling from Zarbon's eyes. "No it's not true! I did everything that you told me to do Apple, I fed him, I cleaned his cage, and I gave him plenty of water!" yelled Zarbon crying.
"Well I'm afraid that Kiwi is right, he's gone, see I can pick him up without getting stung," said Apple picking Pinchy up.
"No don't leave me Pinchy! Don't leave me!" yelled Zarbon throwing a temper tantrum.
"Kid you have to face the facts he's dead!" said Kiwi.
"Come on Zarbon, we'll go bury him in the rainforest." Apple said.
Therefore, Zarbon, Kiwi and Apple went to the rainforest and they buried Pinchy next to a rock, "So what do we say to honor a dead scorpion?" asked Kiwi.
"I'll say something nice, he was a kind little fellow and he loved Zarbon in his own way, even though he pinched him twice," said Apple.
"Yah and he stung me a few times, but I was just getting used to them." Zarbon expect.
"Well what did you expect that it would cuddle with you?" asked Kiwi.
"Shall we sing amazing grace?" asked Apple.
"No that is retarded!" said Kiwi.
"Don't be so insensitive, he was important to Zarbon, even though he could be nasty." Apple said.
"No I think Kiwi is right, singing won't bring Pinchy back!" said Zarbon covering his eyes up.
"Ok I'll go pick some flowers, I'll be right back." Said Kiwi, he went further into the woods, and then he came back with some weeds and put them on Pinchy's grave.
"Kiwi those are weeds! I thought you meant flowers, not weeds! " Apple said.
"What's the difference?" asked Kiwi.
"Here let me go and find some real flowers!" said Apple going into the woods, he came back with some tulips and put them on Pinchy's grave.
"They're so beautiful!" Zarbon said.
"Now we close this funeral service up by saying that Pinchy will be dearly missed, what I will miss most about him is when he used to drink his water." Apple said.
"What I will miss about him is when he used to crawl up my arm when I put him on it." Zarbon said.
"Isn't that dangerous?" asked Kiwi.
"So what, I don't see you doing very safe things!" said Zarbon.
"Ok what will I miss most of all about Pinchy?" said Kiwi. He thought up what could he possibly miss about a nasty little bug that wanted no more then to sting people. Then Kiwi thought of an idea, "I'll miss it when he used to crush the crickets up and ate them!" said Kiwi.
Zarbon and Apple looked at Kiwi like he was a nutcase, then again Kiwi was a thoughtless and tactless person, but did not possess the cruelty of Freezer. "Ok have a nice time wherever you're going!" said Zarbon.
Then Zarbon, Kiwi and Apple went home.
At dinner time, Zarbon was just staring into space with a depressed look on his face, Freezer was getting creeped out because of this, "Zarbon hello are you with us?" asked Freezer.
"Yes Freezer." He said in a sad voice.
"What the hell is wrong with you tonight, you haven't touched your dinner, you love crocodile!" said Freezer.
"I'm not hungry." Zarbon said.
"I know what you're trying to do, you're trying to say that you're not hungry then you will say that you are when we bring out desert!" said Freezer.
"No, that's not it," Zarbon said.
"What is it? Is it not cooked right?" asked Freezer.
"Pinchy died today." Zarbon said.
"Who the hell is Pinchy?" asked Freezer.
"He was Zarbon's scorpion, we found him dead this morning when we were cleaning his room." Kiwi said.
"I can't believe he's gone!" said Zarbon sobbing and lying his head down, he sobbed some more.
Freezer looked at him funny, "Ok let's have the talk about life." He said getting up and walking over to Zarbon.
Freezer bent down and looked at Zarbon, "Now I'm capable of compassion, but I will have to tell you that life sucks and sometimes when people don't do what others tell them to do, then they die like mice!" said Freezer.
"You mean you killed Pinchy?" asked Zarbon.
"No I didn't, but the point is that you can always get a new one." Freezer said.
"I don't want a new scorpion, I want Pinchy!" said Zarbon.
"You're cleaning Pinchy's cage out tonight and that's final!" yelled Freezer.
"Uh compassionate my ass." Cooler said chuckling as he was sipping his wine.
Later on in Zarbon's room, Kiwi was standing behind him, "Come on Zarbon you have to do it sooner or later." Kiwi said.
"Maybe he'll come back." Zarbon said.
"No he won't he's dead." Kiwi said.
"No I mean in spirit." Zarbon said.
"Sorry kid, but where he is, he's probably having a ball in the afterlife crawling under wood and rocks." Kiwi said.
"Ok let's do it." Zarbon said, but before they could, Zarbon lifted up the piece of wood that he had in the cage for Pinchy, he flinched and noticed something odd.
"Hey Kiwi, I know how you know little about scorpions, but why are there baby scorpions in the cage?" asked Zarbon.
"What are you talking about?" asked Kiwi.
"Take a look!" Zarbon pointed to eight white baby scorpions on the piece of wood.
"So wait, Pinchy was a girl, oh this just gets better and better!" Kiwi said.
"She must have given birth before she died, but how is it that we didn't notice it until now?" asked Zarbon.
"Does that piece of wood ring a bell?" asked Kiwi pointing to the wood.
"Pinchy is dead and that means that she can't look after her babies!" said Zarbon.
"Oh no! Oh no! That is a terrible idea!" said Kiwi.
"Please Kiwi, wouldn't you want someone to look after you if you were a baby and your mother died?" asked Zarbon.
"I wouldn't really have any perception about the future if I were an infant!" said Kiwi.
"Please, I'll take care of them!" said Zarbon.
"No way, we're letting them out tonight, it's the right thing to do!" said Kiwi.
All the sudden Apple came into the room with Windex and a cloth, "Ok let's get to cleaning that cage!" said Apple.
"Apple, Pinchy was a girl!" said Zarbon.
"How do you figure?" asked Apple.
"Because she had babies!" said Kiwi.
Apple looked into the cage and saw the babies on the piece of wood, "Ok so what do you think we should do?" asked Apple.
"I think we should let them go, it's horrible to keep an animal locked up in a cage!" said Kiwi.
"No Kiwi is wrong, I miss Pinchy and the babies are all I have to remember her by!" said Zarbon.
"Apple tell Zarbon that I'm right!" said Kiwi.
"Actually I could use some company." Apple said.
"What?" Kiwi asked.
"In other words, I think it would be nice if I had a pet." Apple said.
"But...But…it's the wrong thing to…" before Kiwi could finish, Apple interrupted him.
"I think we should keep them, after all its like Zarbon said, she must have left him an inheritance for a special reason." Apple said.
"Scorpions don't leave inheritances!" said Kiwi.
"When they get older I'll take one out of the cage, but in the mean time, raise them together." Apple said.
"Thanks Apple you're a real pal!" said Zarbon hugging him.
Kiwi rolled his eyes, "This is a terrible idea!" he said.
A couple of months later, the cage was filled with adult scorpions instead of babies, perhaps this species grew up fast? Anyways, Zarbon was trying to give the scorpions water and he almost got stung doing it.
"Wow you're a feisty one aren't you?" asked Zarbon.
Apple walked into the room, "Hey Zarbon since the babies are grown up, can I have one like you promised?" asked Apple.
"Of course pick one out." Zarbon said.
"Ok let's see, I think I like this one." Apple then put his hand in the cage trying to get the one he wanted out, but then it stung him.
"Ouch! Mother fucker!" yelled Apple.
"Apple are you all right, I mean this is possibly the first time I've ever heard you curse!" said Zarbon.
"I just got stung, no I'm not alright!" said Apple sucking on his finger.
"Come on, let's go wash it off with some water and soap." Zarbon said taking Apple out of the room.
The only flaw to taking Apple to wash his wound was that Zarbon left the door opened, and Kiwi now had a chance to sneak into the room. "Ok let's get this over with." He said.
Kiwi put the cover on and picked the cage up, "Let's let all of you go! There are plenty of bugs outside, much better than those crickets!" said Kiwi. As he was carrying the cage, he slipped on one of Zarbon's toys and fell, the cover went flying off and the scorpions escaped.
"Ouch shit! I think I just broke my butt!" Kiwi yelled, and then got up.
He noticed that the scorpions have all escaped, "Oh no, no this can't be happening!" yelled Kiwi.
All the sudden Zarbon and Apple came back into the room, "It's all right now that I put some alcohol on it." said Zarbon.
"Yah but it still hurts!" said Apple.
All the sudden Zarbon was shocked to see Kiwi, "Kiwi what are you doing here?" he asked, then he looked at the shattered glass cage, "You didn't?" he said.
"Look it was time for them to be set free!" said Kiwi.
"So you smashed the cage and set them free in the palace?" asked Apple.
"No I tripped, I was going to take them outside!" said Kiwi.
"Great, now they're lose, what are we going to do?" asked Zarbon.
"I say we tell nobody about this!" said Kiwi.
"Well what if for some reason a scorpion ends up in Freezer's bed and he gets stung?" asked Zarbon.
"Yah like that will ever happen!" said Kiwi.
Well that night, Freezer had his P-jays on; he yawned and got into bed. "Goodnight Teddy." He said hugging his teddy bear tightly.
Little did Freezer know that there was one of Pinchy's babies under his covers, somehow it climbed into bed with him, and then it stung Freezer. "Ouch shit!" yelled Freezer, then he took a newspaper, and smashed the bug.
Later on that night, Zarbon, Apple and Kiwi had to report to Freezer's office. They stood there curious to know what happened. "So tell me, why was there a scorpion in my bed?" asked Freezer.
"I don't know anything!" said Kiwi.
"There was a scorpion in your bed?" asked Zarbon.
"Yes and I slapped it! See!" said Freezer showing the newspaper that he smashed the bug with, with the bug's guts still on it.
"You killed one of Pinchy's babies!" said Zarbon about to start crying.
Freezer had a confused look on his face, "Didn't I tell you to clean that cage out?" he asked.
"Yes but she had babies, and I couldn't just kill them, I wanted to raise them and…." Before Zarbon could finish, Freezer interrupted him.
"You don't bring up a scorpion, that's what wildlife experts are for! Whose idea was it to raise these horrible creatures?" asked Freezer.
Apple tried to look innocent, "So Apple you're the one who told Zarbon it would be ok to raise scorpions!" said Freezer.
"It's perfectly understandable, I wanted a pet, so I asked him too…" before Apple could finish, Freezer interrupted again.
"You blockhead, you should have never have gotten him a scorpion in the first place!" Freezer said slapping the newspaper onto the desk to the point where Zarbon, Kiwi and Apple jumped.
"I told you there would be a scorpion in Freezer's bed." Zarbon said.
"Don't rub it in!" said Kiwi.
"So why the hell did you try to murder me? You know that you gave him a non-venomous scorpion right?" asked Freezer.
"We didn't that's the whole point! I gave Pinchy to Zarbon because I just wanted him to have company when Kiwi and I went to bed. You haven't a clue how lonely of a kid he actually is!" said Apple.
"Find those other scorpions, I don't care if you kill them, well actually kill them I don't want any more scorpions in this palace understood?" asked Freezer slapping the newspaper onto the desk, everyone once again jumped.
"Yes lord Freezer!" they all said.
"Now go to bed you invisils!" said Freezer.
Later on that evening, Freezer was talking to Cooler and Dodoria in the dining room.
"I can't believe that Zarbon didn't do as I told him to do!" said Freezer.
"What did you expect from such a little brat!" yelled Dodoria.
Cooler then shook his head, "Do you suppose we need to teach Zarbon and those thick babysitters of his a lesson?" asked Cooler.
"No let's just hope that we don't find another one of Pinchy's children!" said Freezer.
"Speaking of there is a scorpion on the table!" yelled Dodoria.
"Well do something about it you idiot!" yelled Freezer.
"No problem!" Dodoria said, he jumped onto the table and snatched the scorpion up and took a bite out of it, "Damn it tastes better then I imagined!" Dodoria said.
"Ew that is disgusting! Never the less at least it's a good thing that it's dead!" said Freezer.
"Another one just ran across the table!" Cooler said pointing to the scorpion running across the table.
"Looks like it's time for desert!" yelled Dodoria jumping onto the table again, but the scorpion ran away safely and this time the table broke and it smashed Freezer and Cooler. "Ops," Said Dodoria.
"Dodoria get out of here now!" said Freezer.
"I'm going, I'm going!" he got up and ran out of the room.
"We need to hire an exterminator!" said Freezer.
The next day the exterminator came by, and started hunting the remaining of Pinchy's babies, when Zarbon saw him he walked up to him, "Excuse me sir, I haven't seen you around here before." He said.
The exterminator looked at Zarbon, "I heard that you people have an infestation of scorpions, I took care of the problem." He said.
"What do you mean you took care of the problem?" asked Zarbon.
"In other words I killed all the ones I found, there weren't as many as Freezer said there were," he said.
"How many did you kill?" asked Zarbon.
"I got five of them! I believe that was all of them," the exterminator said.
"Well are there any left? " asked Zarbon.
"Nope that's it, sorry kid." The exterminator said walking away.
"No now Pinchy won't have any grandchildren!" said Zarbon running into his bedroom. He put his face into his pillow and started crying. All the sudden something crawled onto his arm, he looked and saw that it was the last remaining scorpion of Pinchy's litter.
"Oh my God how did you get here?" asked Zarbon.
All the sudden Kiwi came into the room, "Did you hear, all the babies are dead!" said Kiwi.
"No just one survived." Zarbon said showing the descendent of Pinchy.
"Come on we have to do the right thing," said Kiwi taking Zarbon by the hand and leading him outside.
When they were outside, they were next to Pinchy's grave, "Well I guess this is goodbye," said Zarbon as he put the scorpion down, and then it ran off.
"See that wasn't so bad now was it?" asked Kiwi.
"Well I just didn't want Freezer to kill all of them, at least one of them survived." Zarbon said.
"Come on lets go back inside," said Kiwi, he walked with Zarbon back towards the palace, and Zarbon turned around to look back at Pinchy's grave one last time, and turned to walk towards the palace.
End of Story