Chapter 3

You Asked Me To Dance

Alice had never been to a party of any sort in London which she had felt comfortable at. Once again, Underland proved to her she could be very much the girl her mother had wanted her to be if in the right atmosphere. This grand soirée was neither dull nor stuffy and there was absolutely NO quadrille! Alice felt at home as she reunited with her old friends and danced with the Tweedles and even Thackery.

However, there was only one person she truly cared to dance with, or at least see dance, and he was nowhere to be seen. At first, Alice had suspected Tarrant might have been lying low for one reason or another. She wondered if he had been giving her space to catch up with the other Underland inhabitants. She wondered if he had been busy elsewhere. She even dared to wonder if he was maybe overwhelmed by what had taken place between them and unsure of how to approach her.

But as the celebration continued and Tarrant remained undetected, Alice began to worry. "Chessur," she finally decided to get someone else's input. "Have you seen Tarrant?"

"Why? So you can ruin the festivities with a display of affection?" Chessur was not usually one to be snide in any way with Alice, but what he had seen the day before clearly irritated him as much as it did Mally. "To answer your question, no, I haven't," he changed his tone a little, slightly regretting having been so snarky with her. "Mallymkun is the one you should be asking. Rarely does she let him out of her sight," he added helpfully. "But can I ask you a question?"

Alice was desperate to find Tarrant, but decided she shouldn't be so worried as to be rude to the Chesire Cat. Tarrant was probably perfectly fine wherever he was, she reasoned. "Of course, Chess."

"Have you always felt this way? About Tarrant, I mean," he eyed her curiously and Alice had a hard time deciphering what prompted his question. At one moment he seemed horrified and at another concerned. At another moment he seemed jealous, but he seemed hopeful the very next.

She pondered his question carefully. The very fact that she had kissed Tarrant so soon after returning betrayed that she must have. Alice's mind went back to how close she had been to him on her previous trip and how at a few moments she had wanted to kiss him even then. Of course, she couldn't be certain of her adventure before that. She had only been six after all and she still found she couldn't remember every detail. Even if she could, Tarrant would have been as any other adult man – perhaps someone a young girl admired, but nothing too seriously. This was something she had never truly considered before now and it did confuse her a little.

"I don't know," she finally answered. Alice didn't know how to answer. Again, everything was happening so quickly. She saw Chessur's dissatisfied expression. "But I can tell you, I believe I have felt something for him since my last time here."

Chess brought one paw to his face thoughtfully. "I suspected as much," he nodded. It had been painfully obvious that there was a strong bond between the Mad Hatter and Underland's Champion. However, it wasn't quite as obvious whether or not Tarrant was the only one with feelings of more than a platonic nature. "I was hoping that perhaps you had better taste than to actually return Tarrant's romantic notions, not that he probably even realized he had romantic notions," he rolled his eyes. While Chessur had a soft spot for Alice which kept him from saying anything too rude to her, the same did not apply to Tarrant.

"Now, Chess, really," Alice looked at the feline somewhat disapprovingly. "Tarrant is…"

"Still missing," Chessur reminded her. He was not in the mood to hear her fawn over the Hatter even in the least. "So there's Mally," he pointed before evaporating to find another location somewhere else.

Alice was brought back to her prior concern as she heeded Chessur's words and hurried over to the dormouse. "Mally, have you seen Tarrant?"

"No," the agitation in Mally's voice was evident. "Hasn't he been following you around like he'll never see you again?" She looked up at Alice to see her shake her head. Now Alice wasn't the only one concerned regarding Tarrant's whereabouts.

"I haven't seen him since early this morning," Alice answered. "I only know he has to be somewhere in the castle since he made me this dress." Suddenly inspiration hit Alice and she ran out of the grand ballroom to find the milliner's workroom. She didn't even think to ask for someone to point her in the right direction. Thankfully, though, her feet found the way on their own.

Alice stopped in the doorway of the workroom only to find several hats shredded here and there. Then her eyes found what they were looking for. Sitting on the floor against one of the walls, Tarrant wore a terrified expression and his eyes were the brightest color of amber Alice had ever seen. He was not perfectly fine.

She moved towards Tarrant as quickly as she could and dropped to her knees in front of him as soon as she reached him. "Tarrant!" Her voice pierced his madness as though it were a Vorpal Sword slaying a Jabberwocky.

The intensity in his eyes lessened as he managed to focus on her face. "They're ashamed of me, Alice. Terribly ashamed."

"Who is ashamed?" Alice didn't quite understand, but she wanted to be able to.

"I can't do it," his words echoed from the day before as his eyes fell towards his top hat, which lied nearby, and Alice grasped what he meant. "I've let them down." Tarrant moved his hands to his hair, seemingly in pain as he said it.

At this, a sort of madness overtook Alice as well, but not uncontrollably so. She couldn't help but be enraged over the suffering Tarrant would always have to endure. Alice grabbed his hands and pulled them from his head, holding them firmly in her own. "No one is ashamed of you." She didn't say it loudly, for fear she would frighten him further in his already panicked state, but there was urgency in her voice which couldn't be missed. She needed him to understand what she said was true. "I'm not ashamed of you."

Finally, Tarrant's eyes found their green again, although not quite the bright green they normally were, and Alice felt like she could breathe once more. "Alice?" Tarrant seemed to come back to himself completely, as he looked around the room and the understanding of what had happened returned to him – for it seemed sometimes he didn't even realize he was lost in madness until after it passed.

Suddenly Mally and Mirana came into the room, Mally scurrying all the way over to Tarrant and Alice (but mostly Tarrant) while Mirana merely floated in concern near the entry. This was not at all the way Mirana had planned for the celebration to go and, for Mirana, disorder made for a very scary thing. "Is he alright now?" She put aside her own discomforting feelings for the good of the poor Hatter.

"Yes," Alice smiled at Tarrant reassuringly as she squeezed his hands. "But perhaps the party…" Alice didn't have a chance to finish before Tarrant hurried to his feet bringing her with him.

"Oh no, I'm fine now," he shook his head and then smiled as if to prove his point. "I would not want you to miss the party on my account. Especially since you look so," Tarrant paused for a moment. It was the first time he had noticed she was wearing the dress he'd made her. Realizing he was attempting to study her, Alice let go of his hands and stepped back so he could properly see how she looked in his marvelous creation. She even spun once, again feeling very perfect in the article of clothing. "You look more beautiful than anyone I've ever seen," Tarrant felt timidity and brazenness both grip him as he debated whether he should cower from her in unworthiness or take her into his arms right there. "If the White Queen doesn't mind my saying so," he settled on neither thought and spoke instead.

"I don't mind at all," Mirana responded with pure pleasure. Not only was she happy that order seemed to have resumed its previous position, but she also could barely keep from controlling her urge to squeal in sheer delight at the romantic scene before her. But, of course, that would be very un-Queen-like.

"Well, I mind a little," Alice answered, but not in spite of his comment – as it made her heart melt in ways she never suspected it could. Tarrant looked at her curiously. "After all, Mally is just as beautiful," Alice said amiably as she looked down at the dormouse.

"Of course, of course!" Tarrant certainly didn't want to offend his friend. "I'm sorry, Mally. You're beautiful too." He smiled a genuine smile and Mallymkun wasn't quite sure how to react.

"Alright, alright we're all beautiful." Mally opted for her usual tough exterior. "Let's just get back to the party," she insisted before leading the way out of the room.

Once back in the ballroom, Mirana reassured everyone that everything was fine and the festivities should carry on as they had been. Alice, however, decided the rest of the party, for her part, would be spent by Tarrant's side. Although he seemed okay again, Alice couldn't escape a nagging thought in the back of her mind that something worse was amiss. It was just a very fuzzy notion, but it still threatened to wreak havoc on her joy.

Thankfully, however, it didn't shatter her mood entirely. It simply couldn't with Tarrant there beside her. Every moment with him made her more and more certain of how strongly and deeply she felt for him. It surprised her how deep her emotions could go. She was, after all, Alice Kingsleigh. She was not like other women her age. First of all, other women her age could not say they had slayed a Jabberwocky. Second of all, she did not go about falling head over heels like women her age were expected to do even if against reason – like her sister had done.

Then again, she had fallen head over heels for him in the most literal sense, she mused. And now that she had landed in Underland again, Alice felt quite certain that if Tarrant begged her to stay, this time she would. Because everything was different in Underland. She was different in Underland. Or was it that she was actually herself in Underland?

Alice's thoughts were interrupted, but it was a happy intrusion since it was Tarrant very nervously asking her if she would care to dance. If it were any man other than Tarrant and were she in any place other than Underland, she would have said no (well, maybe not if Tarrant was the one doing the asking some place other than Underland). But it was Tarrant and it was Underland and at the moment there was nothing more she would rather do.

"Yes," she nodded, loving the way he smiled and excitedly led her towards the center of the room.

Dancing in Underland was an adventure all its own. At moments Tarrant and Alice moved gracefully and at other moments like a scattered mess. Some steps brought them close together and others were performed completely apart. At one point their dance resembled a waltz, yet at another it resembled a polka. Then, there were points where it lacked definition entirely. However, the age old magic spell of dance remained and it wasn't long before the rest of the ballroom spun out of sight and out of mind. No matter the dance step, Alice and Tarrant felt as though they were the only ones in Underland. It wasn't until the music ended that they were forced to recognize the existence of the other partygoers again.

"You both dance divinely together," Mirana moved towards the couple so gracefully it seemed as though she were attempting her own dance of some sort, a lovely ballet perhaps. Alice smiled uncertainly. She had never been accused of being a wonderful dancer in London, but that was most likely because she had only ever had someone like Hamish Ascot to dance with.

"I'm so happy to be back," the words escaped Alice's lips before she'd even had a chance to figure out where they'd come from. It was as if a chill had gone through her body and the realization had finally struck her that she really was back. Additionally, she felt an inexplicable urgency to make the most of every moment. That nagging feeling of something not being right returned. Only now, it was stronger and more precisely it felt like Time was against her.

"Alice, dear, are you alright?" Mirana had noted the change in her expression.

"I…I don't know," Alice answered honestly. She looked back and forth between Tarrant and Mirana, as if there was something important about both of them she should remember. "Something doesn't feel right."

Mirana bit her lip before releasing it with a heavy sigh. As much as she had wanted the celebration to go well, for there to be no trace of pain in any of her subjects, Mirana realized she couldn't control everything. She must relinquish the idea that there was room for celebration when Fate was close to dealing a cruel blow to the two most undeserving people she could think of. "Alice, I'm sorry. When we talked earlier we…" The White Queen was unable to finish as Tarrant stormed out of the ballroom, his eyes very clearly a mad shade of orange as he did.

Mally scampered over to Alice and the queen and stared up at them in confusion. "What happened now?"

"I don't know, Mally." Alice stared at the doorway in concern. She had to find out what was wrong with him.

"I thought you being back was supposed to make things better not worse," Alice heard the annoyed dormouse say as she left to chase after Tarrant.

"Mallymkun!" Mirana exclaimed disapprovingly. Her tone was not harsh, but it was just the kind of benevolent tone that could make any guilty party immediately realize the error of their ways.

"I'm sorry, your majesty." Mally slumped her shoulders a bit in defeat. "I just want to know what's goin' on around here." The dormouse's fierceness returned quickly. "It seems like everything is upside down since she got back."

Mirana looked down at the little mouse with a sympathetic smile. It was clear to the White Queen that jealousy was a strong driving force behind Mally's comment. "Upside down for everyone or just you, Mally?" She asked in such a quiet manner that it repelled against Mally's brash nature and took the dormouse off her guard for a few moments.

"Upside down period," Mally finally said apologetically, and with great conviction, before turning back in the direction she'd came.

As Mirana watched Mally stop at Thackery's side, where she'd been previously, she couldn't help but realize there was more truth in Mally's words than she cared to openly admit. The uncertainty of Tarrant's fate was enough to turn Underland upside down. In Mirana's mind, it was as though heaviness had indeed already settled over the land like it hadn't since her sister's tyrannical reign. Underland and its inhabitants, even if they didn't understand why, were all feeling the weight of what could possibly come. For what would Underland be without its Mad Hatter?

Alright, so I realized half-way through writing that while I can hear Mally's strong accent in my head when creating her dialogue, it never transfers to the way I write the words. So, since I'm already two chapters ahead in this story, I've decided it's too late to go through and make her accent more accounted for. Sorry if anyone has noticed that and/or thinks it less realistic for that reason. Also, sorry if it seems Alice is a little all over the place emotionally in this chapter. I wanted to delve a little into Alice's character as realizing her feelings for Tarrant are stronger than she ever dreamed they could be in comparison to her usually independent nature. I also chose to go this direction as it fits with the character of the narrative voice of the song, Trainwreck. In short, Alice isn't uncertain of her feelings for Tarrant so much as she is a little overwhelmed by how this changes a lot of the things she's come to know about herself (but, hey, isn't that how love goes sometimes?).