Spoilers: Cold Lazarus
Teal'c was ashamed of himself. He had no right to call himself a friend, though he would not have had the audacity to make such a claim anyway. O'Neill was his friend, but he could not honestly claim himself to be O'Neill's. If he were a true friend he would have realized right away that O'Neill was not himself. Likewise, as a warrior he should have known there was something wrong and that O'Neill had been compromised.
When he had told the crystal entity disguised as O'Neill that he would like to experience the world outside the SGC, the being had been dismissive. While O'Neill was in no terms a patient man, he was never dismissive of Teal'c's presence, and was always willing to take time out of his busy schedule to sit with Teal'c and show him new things about Earth. O'Neill always answered his questions, frequently generating new questions in the process, and seemed to be the only one sensitive to Teal'c's guarded curiosity, often anticipating his questions so he wouldn't have to voice them.
For O'Neill to have so blatantly ignored Teal'c's request was very uncharacteristic, especially when he had made the offer to show Teal'c his world in the first place.
It had been two days since O'Neill had returned the crystal entity to its planet, since he had held the hand of the image of his son and said good-bye to it once again. Or, rather, for the first time. He had returned to Earth and Teal'c had not seen him since. Teal'c was worried about the emotional repercussions these events would have on O'Neill, and wished there was some way for him to help but he had no way of contacting O'Neill and he was not sure what he could do for him anyway.
This was not his area of expertise, though if he had learned anything from O'Neill in the short time they had been working together it was that a warrior had to be adaptable. He had to ask the tough questions and deal with more than just following orders. He had to be able to trust the men and women fighting alongside him. Friendship and trust went hand-in-hand.
Teal'c decided that now would be the perfect opportunity to return the friendship that O'Neill had bestowed upon him, that it was his turn to help his friend adjust to his new life. Once O'Neill returned he would put in an extra effort to be there for his friend.
He sat down on the floor in his room to contemplate the matter while performing kel'no'reem. He would find a way.
O'Neill finally returned to the SGC two days later in time for their daily training session with Daniel Jackson. Over the last few months since their first official mission as a team O'Neill had been instructing Daniel Jackson in the art of war, with physical and firearms training as well as instruction in strategy. After the first week he had invited Teal'c to join them so they could develop an understanding of each other's techniques.
To the outside observer, today was no different than any other day they spent training, but Teal'c was very perceptive and could see the undercurrent of O'Neill's emotions which he tried so hard to mask from others. In some way, this was what had first drawn him to O'Neill.
In the dungeon on Chulak where they first met, O'Neill had remained strong for his team, had looked Teal'c straight in the eye without fear. On previous occasions, the only men who didn't fear him had been either insane or fools, and were inevitably killed. But O'Neill must have sensed something in Teal'c, something he had only come to understand about himself recently. It may have seemed that O'Neill was taking advantage of Teal'c's confusion, that he had been exploiting the situation, but that was far from the truth. O'Neill had offered him a way out, a way to redeem himself and fight for his people, and Teal'c had taken it.
Nobody had ever had so much faith in him, not even Master Bratac. In the various meetings and discussions that had ensued in the first days of his presence on Earth, he had realized that O'Neill did not give his approval and trust lightly. There were many people within his government and military who came up as less than stellar in O'Neill's book, though Teal'c hadn't quite understood that peculiar phrase when O'Neill had first told him.
Despite what Teal'c had done in the past, the many lives he had destroyed, the people he had murdered, evil deeds done by him on behalf of a man he knew wasn't a true God, O'Neill never held it against him. He didn't hesitate to argue on Teal'c's behalf, whether it was to keep him on SG-1 or prevent the other personnel from insulting or offending him. Men like O'Neill were rare in the Jaffa ranks, and they usually didn't survive for long. O'Neill wasn't afraid to get a little dirty, to stir people up to get his way. And his way was generally the right way, though it might take a little nudge from Daniel Jackson to get him there.
He wasn't a God, but he was definitely a better leader and more worthy of Teal'c's loyalty than any Goa'uld. This was why he only called O'Neill by his surname, for he was greater than the rank this world's military had bestowed upon him. Teal'c was more honored to fight alongside O'Neill than when he received his promotion to First Prime.
Not that he would ever admit it that he had once felt honored by the position. Though it was a thrill to have all those Jaffa looking up to him, giving him their loyalty, their respect, their lives…
Teal'c waited until after the sparring session to approach O'Neill. Daniel Jackson had obviously already spoken with O'Neill, as they had arrived together without the telltale awkwardness of repressed words. If Daniel Jackson was not concerned for O'Neill's emotional well-being, and he certainly had more experience in such matters, then Teal'c was not concerned either. However, he did wish to show his support for his friend.
"O'Neill," he said, once they were showered and dressed.
"Yeah, Teal'c." O'Neill rubbed a towel briskly through his hair before tossing it casually towards the hamper. As the towel hit the target O'Neill grinned smugly and raised his fists in triumph.
Teal'c quirked an eyebrow, astounded by the simple things which amused his companion.
"Something I can do for you, Teal'c?"
Teal'c debated this for a moment. "I wish to see your world now."
O'Neill's smile grew and he slapped Teal'c on the back. "That's a great idea. I'll go talk to Hammond, see if we can get you off the base for the weekend."
With that, he departed and Teal'c had to wonder once again how he could have mistaken the crystal entity for this human.
It wasn't long before he was standing outside O'Neill's home, and the only thing he could say was "Impressive."
O'Neill patted him on the shoulder again, guiding him to the front door. "Why thank you, Teal'c. I'm quite proud of the place myself, quiet neighborhood, great view of the night sky. I spent months fixing her up when I first moved in before they pulled me out of retirement. I can put you up in the guest room, I've been stocking up on candles for when I finally got to spring you. Come on inside. I'll give you the grand tour."
They spent a few minutes walking through and admiring the house. Teal'c had lived in splendor as the First Prime of Apophis but even he had not known such comforts as this home provided. The humans of Earth were indeed a spoiled people if O'Neill's living conditions were representative of the masses. Yet O'Neill was far from ordinary.
"What is the purpose of this device?" he asked, studying a large black box in the kitchen. It looked very similar to the television in his quarters.
"Ah. That is what we call a microwave. Revolutionized the American way of life, no more slaving over a hot stove. No, now we just nuke everything and you've got dinner in ten minutes, tops. The savior of bachelorhood, I tell you."
Teal'c cocked his head to the side. "I do not understand."
"We use it to cook food, or reheat it or…you know."
"I see." He didn't really, but he didn't doubt that O'Neill would demonstrate the effects of the device at some point, in order to further his education of life on Earth.
"I'll show you later."
Teal'c inwardly smiled.
"So I was thinking that tomorrow I'd take you around town, show you the sights. Anything in particular you want to see?"
"No." He wanted to see it all.
"Well, I'm sure we'll find something. Next time we'll get Daniel and Carter to tag along, make it a team thing. But then, judging from the little staff weapon incident in the 'Gate Room that I've heard so much about, they've been a bad influence on you."
Teal'c didn't have to see O'Neill's face to know the man was smirking. It was an expression he had only ever seen on Bratac's face, but it was one with which he had become very familiar. "They may have been overzealous in their endeavor to understand the mystery of the destroyed crystals."
O'Neill blinked at him. "Uh, yeah. Right. What you said." He grimaced and looked away for a minute before sitting down and pulling a pillow out from behind him, setting it down beside him. "He was a nice guy. Strangest life form I've ever seen, but overall, they were a great race."
"I agree." He sat down on the opposite end of the couch, his back straight, looking straight ahead.
There was a comfortable silence between them for several minutes as Teal'c allowed his commanding officer to become introspective on what had happened. Or to contemplate the dust on the floor. He was never really sure with O'Neill.
"He loved to laugh."
Teal'c turned his head towards O'Neill, lifting an inquiring eyebrow.
"Charlie. He loved to laugh."
Teal'c ached at the memories of his own son laughing. He wished he could share his memories with O'Neill, but there was too much at stake. O'Neill's government would not trust him if they knew he had a family.
"Hey Teal'c, promise me something."
He inclined his head, waiting for O'Neill to continue.
"Promise me that someday, I'm going to see you smile. You and I, we've had enough darkness in our lives, but there's no reason not to make up for it. You're a good man, and you deserve a little happiness now and then. So whenever you get that urge, instead of holding it inside like I've seen you do with that fierce stoic warrior crap, just let it out. It'll make you feel better."
He could remember the last time he had truly laughed, watching his son attempting to tackle Master Bratac.
He would see his son again. He would return to Chulak and rescue his wife and son from Apophis, and then he would have reason to smile.
"I promise."