Well, this story is moving slowly, but lately it seems to me that all of Lizzie McGuire FF is moving slowly. Helloooo, is there anybody out there? Is anyone still getting the show, still watching? I have a hard time believing I will ever tire of these characters. I love putting them in difficult, angsty situations. And thus, we have now another chapter detailing the breakup of the perfect couple, Lizzie and Gordo. Tell me what you think of Rachel. Would Lizzie really be friends with someone like her?

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"Hey there, Lizzie!" Rachel sang, turning down the music, but only a little. "Hop in! You too, Gordon. Once again, you get the whole back seat to yourself. How lucky!"

I sat in the front with Rachel, and Gordo sprawled himself out in the back, eyes closed. He quickly pretended to go to sleep, I guess so he wouldn't have to talk with me and Rachel. Well, that was just fine, as far as I was concerned. I didn't really want to talk to him, anyway.

And besides, what Rachel and I were talking about had nothing to do with him. It was all girl stuff. And I know this is going to sound terrible, but since it was all Rachel's stuff, it made me feel better. Not that I wished anything bad to happen to her! Not at all. But focusing on her issues made me temporarily forget my own, and that felt good.

You see, it hadn't always been like this, me and Rachel in the front seat and Gordo sprawled out alone in the back. Up until a few days ago, Rachel had a boyfriend, Todd. He used to go with us everywhere. But Todd just graduated high school and had taken off immediately for UC Davis, up by Sacramento. He left right after graduation, he said, because he needed time to "get adjusted" to his new surroundings. But Rachel knew better. Even though Todd insisted he had no intentions of breaking up with Rachel, she felt sure the handwriting was on the wall. She had even convinced herself that Todd had lined up a new girlfriend for himself when he visited the college last Spring Break. She felt it was over between her and Todd, and she was feeling pretty bad about that, totally rejected.

"Well, I was right," she announced in a tone of bitter triumph, as she pulled the car out of the driveway. "What did I say only last Monday? I said it would be less than a week before Todd stopped returning my calls. And what do you think happened last night? Nada. Absolutely nothing. No call at all."

My job as Rachel's friend was to comfort and support her through this crisis, and that's what I found myself doing now as we approached the highway that would take us towards the beach. I tried to make her feel better with some lame scenario that perhaps he had lost his cell phone, or forgotten to charge it, but Rachel wasn't buying, and frankly, I didn't blame her.

She checked the rear view mirror quickly, then swerved into the turning lane.

"Fucking Todd…" she breathed quietly. "Scumbucket."

I had been doing a lot of comforting and supporting this last week. Rach and I had had more than one "pity party" since Todd left. These parties usually involved massive amounts of pizza and ice cream, weepy chick flicks till way past midnight, followed by long, heartfelt discussions until it was so late, it was silly for Rachel to even bother driving home, so she would simply sleep over.

For some reason, Gordo seemed really jealous of all the time I was spending with Rachel. Well, he always was, but this week his jealousy was exceptionally pronounced, even to the point where he was once again hauling out his "Rachel wants you" fantasies.

Now. I have to tell you, right up front, he is totally delusional. There was nothing like that between Rachel and me, and personally I was getting really sick of his innuendos. It had been going on for too long now, and it just wasn't funny.

I remember the first time he sprung his gross fantasies on me. We were arguing about something, and as always, Gordo insisted on dragging Rachel into it.

"What is your freakin' problem with Rachel?" I yelled at him. "Crap, Gordo! You know, sometimes it sounds to me like you're jealous of her!"

"Do I have a reason to be jealous of her?" he questioned immediately, his eyes searching mine.

"Look," I explained. "You're being a little over-possessive, don't you think? I can't spend my every waking moment with you, can I?"

"No," he answered, never skipping a beat. "But it looks to me like Rachel would like to spend all her waking moments with you. And maybe some of her not-awake moments as well."

"Gordo," I said in exasperation. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't you know? Isn't it clear? I'm fairly certain Rachel…has designs on you," he said carefully.

I huffed. "Has designs?" I repeated. "What the hell does that mean?"

"You know exactly what that means," Gordo said evenly.

"Are you saying she's a lesbian?"

"No," he answered simply. "Probably not. She's probably bi."

I huffed again. "Men! I swear! Just because you have difficulty developing close personal relationships with the same sex, you automatically assume that when women do, it must have sexual overtones."

"No, not automatically," Gordo defended himself. "I never thought that about you and Miranda."

"Well, thank goodness at least for that!"

"But with you and Rachel…it's different."

"What's different?" I demanded.

"It's just that…well, I could easily see…"

"See what?" I asked, maintaining my demanding tone.

"I mean, it's not hard to imagine…"

"Imagine what?" I questioned, then stopped suddenly, as the answer to my own question suddenly became clear. I was momentarily speechless, and as I stood there, staring at Gordo, his face turned bright red, until finally he had to look away.

"UGH!" I spit out. "Gordo, you are such a pig! What is going on in your mind lately?"

"I…I….I can't help it!" he defended himself. "You can't blame me! I'm not a kid anymore. It's only natural. All guys think stuff like that."

"Then maybe Rachel is right," I shot back. "Maybe all guys are pigs."

I don't remember how Gordo and I eventually sorted out our differences on this issue. Actually, I'm not sure we ever actually did. I know to this day, it still bothered me whenever I thought of what he must be imagining about me and Rachel.

And this morning, I was just mad enough at Gordo to take a jab at him. I glanced back at him quickly, but he was still pretending to sleep. Still, for his benefit, as much as for Rachel's, I wholeheartedly agreed, "Yeah, Rach. You're right. Todd's a scumbucket. They're all scumbuckets. They're all pigs."

"You go, girl!" Rachel agreed, at last comforted, at last laughing.

I glanced back at Gordo and thought I saw a slight wince in his expression.

Now I noticed Rachel looking at me, then I saw her eyes flick up to the rear view mirror, checking on Gordo. This girl is incredibly intuitive. "Everything all right?" she asked quietly, simply.

I shrugged. I could tell that Rachel knew Gordo and I had been fighting, but I didn't want to talk to her about it, at least not here, not now.

"Well," she announced, reaching over and patting my leg. "Today is going to be a good day, Lizzie. A day to forget all about our problems, what do you say? No distractions, no drama, right? We're just going to have fun. No Todd…and no Parker McKenzie, either," she added, meaningfully.

Rachel had said this loud enough for Gordo to hear, even over the wind and the music, and I saw her glance into the rear view mirror once more, checking his reaction.

I was a little annoyed with her for even bringing up Parker McKenzie. For a short while, I had actually forgotten about the ho, and it had been so pleasant. But still, I was curious about what she was saying. "No Parker?" I asked. "Are you sure?"

"Who put this party together, girlfriend? Moi. And I was very careful about the guest list. I made sure NOT to invite certain annoying boyfriend-leeching skanks. So unless someone else invited her, she won't be there today."

I sat back, feeling good about this, until for a third time I saw Rachel checking Gordo in the rear view mirror. This time, she actually reached her right arm back between the bucket seats and slapped him on the knee.

"Hey, Gordon!" she yelled over the music. "How about it? You think Parker will be at the beach today?"

"Rachel!" I exclaimed. What the hell was she doing? I swear, sometimes I think this girl makes her own trouble. This whole business with Todd, to tell the truth, it had been just as much her fault as his. I'm not going to go into the details here, but believe me, she was not completely innocent. But that's her life. She can do what she wants with it. I just don't appreciate it when she starts messing around in mine.

"Oh, chill, Lizzie," Rachel admonished with a sarcastic grin. "Gordon's got nothing to hide, has he? So how about it, loverboy? Will Parker and her emerald green string bikini be making an appearance at the beach today?"

Gordo shifted uncomfortably, but never opened his eyes. "How the hell should I know?" he mumbled, and I could tell by his tone that he was annoyed beyond endurance.

I sat back, arms folded across my chest, at the moment not happy with either Gordo or Rachel. So far today both of them had assured me that this day was going to be one of the most wonderful of my life. But, all things considered thus far, I was seriously starting to doubt that could be at all possible.