Even Angels Need Angels

by Shinra-ex-SOLDIER

Wherein Max doesn't get her powers on Monday in the bathroom. What if she first got them on a rainy Tuesday when Kate jumped off the roof?

3. Crosses Along The Boulevard

It's quiet in the morning, perhaps too quiet, eerily so. The shadows cast by the sunlight aren't that long anymore so the students can't use that as an excuse to sleep in. Even Max who pulled out an all-nighter can feel her body begrudgingly wake up. But it's quiet. She's moving in slow inches as if afraid to disturb the silence. Or maybe it's because she's afraid and disturbed. In fact, everyone still is after yesterday's downpour of ominous red rain. Maybe that's why it's almost noon and not a single noise could be heard. It's the silent kind of terror, the type that seeps into your bones with a chill that just freezes you. Everyone's still frozen, caught in the middle of their screams.

Everyone except for Max. Silence be damned, she at least deserves the right to complain. She groans and vehemently curses her body for waking up so early or at least early enough for her to not be late for class. Actually, not waking up at all sounds like a good idea right now. She's not sure when exactly she collapsed last night but she knows for certain that it's definitely not enough to fill in the healthy eight hours recommended for REM cycle. She's just so exhausted over everything that's happened yesterday that she feels like she could sleep forever. Her head droops until it falls down with a light thump on her desk which earns a giggle. It's only then that she remembers she's not the only person in the room or the only one awake.

"Morning, Kate." She croaks what was supposed to sound like a gentle greeting in her mind. Her voice comes out scratchy due to dry throat but it at least sounds friendly enough. She cranes her head to face her friend and her neck aches painfully to remind her of her not so comfortable sleeping position.

"Good morning to you too, Max." Kate replies with a voice that sounds fairer than one should have in the morning. Maybe she's already helped herself to a glass of water or maybe it's a Kate thing— probably the latter. She supposes that Kate's always been a morning person. She looks like she had more than five hours of sleep despite actually having less. She looks exhausted but it's nowhere near yesterday's exhaustion. It's the kind of exhaustion that won't put her on the roof. She's tired but mostly physically fatigued and that's an improvement. At the very least, she has the energy to pull her lips into a small smile, bemused. "If I knew that you'd sleep on your desk then I would have dragged you to your bed last night while I still had the chance."

"Hey, I'll have you know that I've slept on my desk as much as I have on my bed." Max declares defiantly and it would have sounded more convincing if only she hadn't winced at the throbbing pain in her neck. She groans while carefully holding her head at an angle that isn't as sore, "But you're right. The bed wins with comfort over sore necks any day." That earns her another giggle from Kate and Max briefly thinks she doesn't mind waking up so early if it's to that sound. It's not the usual violin notes in the morning but she thinks it sounds just as soothing. She flashes her a smile of her own. "How was the sofa? You sleep well?"

Kate neatly folds her hands over her lap, contemplating. There's a certain pause in between, wariness, but she doesn't let it linger for long. "Better than this past week." She answers shortly. So much subtext is crammed into those five words because she can't afford any more. It's the kind of sentence that says she wants to share more but she doesn't have the energy to expound at the moment.

Ever since yesterday, Max is slowly starting to understand the different kinds of sentences that Kate has been practicing this past week. It's going to take a while for Kate to unlearn the vocabulary that comes with her harrowing experience but Max is willing to learn in the meantime. And maybe they'll meet halfway at some point and call that recovery.

But that is still a long way to go and for now they just have to get through this morning's chatter. "Well I'm glad the sofa has its uses."

"Thanks again for letting me sleep here last night." And for the first part she sounds genuinely grateful. But then the light shifts and so does her tone of her voice. Kate tucks her chin slightly at this and suddenly the hands on her lap are moving, restless, wringing as if they're trying to literally squeeze the words out. All of a sudden she looks so small and her voice is even smaller, fragile. "I didn't want to be left alone after..." She takes a sharp breath at the pause and perhaps it was too sharp because her voice comes out high and strained as if she's punctured a lung. "After everything that's happened..." She barely croaks the rest of her sentence. The words are there but she's finding difficulty to push them out. In fact, she sounds like she can hardly breathe. "I just didn't want to be alone... after all that. So... thank you, for letting me stay." It's painful and grateful at the same time yet the pain takes so much from it.

A sudden urge overwhelms Max. She wants to march over there and embrace her friend. She wants to hold her so tight that her bones dig in and reassure her with all her might that it's okay. She wants to hug her until the broken pieces fit from sheer force of affection. She wants to but she doesn't do that. She doesn't because Kate's body language is screaming for her to not do that. Hugs are great and all but sometimes they can be overwhelming. She doesn't need a hug right now but rather personal space. And Max gets that. Sensory overload is a thing and Kate is barely handling one thing at a time, and this time it's this conversation that took an unexpected painful turn for her. Everything is still fresh for her, the wounds especially raw and stinging in the morning. And bandages don't necessarily work for all wounds, some wounds you just need to give space to breathe.

Max can't hug her yet not with her defenses up so she settles for the next best thing. "What are you saying? I should be thanking you for staying with me!" Her voice cracks at this but in a funny way that works to her advantage. "I doubt I'd cover so much research without you by my side. You know how slow I am with reading books."

Self-deprecating humor will never lose its charm and already it works a laugh out of Kate. "That's because you give up at the first page." She almost snorts. Almost. But that is more than enough to reassure her, to reassure the both of them, that she's okay. She's really not but she will be eventually.

So Max smiles Kate's share as she quips, "Hey, it's not my fault that my brain can't keep up with all the complicated words. It's hard enough to understand poetry but scientific jargon is a whole new level for me. They don't really teach this in photography class." She huffs indignantly when she hears her friend chortle but after all's said and done, she ends up giggling with her. Thankfully, Kate seems to have relaxed somewhat after that ice breaker. With the tension gone, Max sombers a bit as she gets up with a stretch. "But seriously, Kate. Thanks for staying with me. And I mean that in general and with the whole time powers deal going on." She waves her right hand in gesture. "Honestly, I don't want to be left alone either. So it's super cool that we're in this together."

Kate's hands stop fidgeting but they don't freeze, instead they melt until her fingers intertwine. The warmth runs up her arms and thaws even the tension in her shoulders. A smile graces her lips and it's warmer than the sunlight streaming in. "Helping others really does wonders to helping ourselves." She says it so softly that Max isn't sure if she's supposed to hear it.

But she replies to it anyways. "Absolutely. So help me help you and I'll help you help me. We're helping each other." Get better, she says unspoken.

There's a lull in the conversation and it's anything but heavy. It's nice. It's the kind of comfortable silence that you can only enjoy with select company. Kate seems fine with it too judging from how relaxed she looks from afar. She looks so at peace, her body is absolutely humming and maybe if Max strains her ears hard enough, maybe she could hear Kate actually hum. Time seems to slow down between the two of them and the moment stretches. It's quiet but it sounds more soothing than the irksome quiet that Max woke up to. It's their brand of quiet overpowering the disturbing silence from outside. It's the soft kind of quiet that brings people together in contrast to the deafening silence that comes after burning bridges. It's the kind of quiet that can only be shared between two kindred spirits. So quiet. It hangs in the air they breathe and they take in deep breaths of this peace.

In between the quiet, Max uses this opportunity to finally survey the mess that she calls her room. It looks like a storm hit inside. She instinctively winces at the word. Okay, not her best analogy but she blames it on her sleep or lack thereof. There are books piled in different corners and if it hadn't been for Kate then Max would have had them scattered all over the floor. Actually, now that she looks carefully, this room is a lot tidier than what it should have been if Max was left alone to do the research. Kate's an organized person and it shows, even if she's been losing her touch lately. Sure the books would have been sorted by category, alphabetized even, if this had been Kate in her usual vigor but having them all in one pile is an achievement in itself. Baby steps. No one gets better overnight especially not when that night was spent on researching time powers instead of actual recovering.

Sunlight streaks across the room and it catches in Max's eyes. It forcibly grabs her attention and before she could stop herself, she sees it. The brighter the light, the darker the shadow, and in this case that shadow is red— dark splotches of red. The window is still stained red from last night and so is everything else outside. It's an eerie sight to behold, seemingly torn out of a page of a classic horror novel. Except this isn't just fiction anymore. Unsurprisingly, no one's outside investigating the phenomena. Max doesn't blame them. She would have stayed as far away from it as possible too if only she isn't theoretically involved in this. Her time powers has to be related so she has to own up to the reality of red rain. It doesn't make her any more accepting about this freaky weather. It's as if there're gallons of blood poured practically everywhere.

It's as if it was a too literal metaphor of the blood that's about to spill from the incoming storm this Friday.

"It's still red outside." Kate's voice cuts through her brooding and it's a hushed whisper just like how everyone else would talk about yesterday's rain. They talk of it like they would a taboo that's already been broken. The event has the entire town shaken so much that even talking about it has them trembling in fear. It's as if the mere mention of it could incur divine wrath worse than this premonition. And what's worse than rain the color of blood? Nobody finishes the sentence but everyone knows the answer.

"I know." Max sighs as she puts a hand against the glass window. It's warm and her hand instinctively recoils back at the sensation. She remembers how cold it felt yesterday and how regardless of the temperature, she'd still get freaked out by how much it'll still remind her of blood. She silently mutters to herself that this is just dyed rain and she knows that no actual blood is mixed within. She also knows that it doesn't make this any less disturbing. "I just kind of wished it wasn't, you know?"

"Yeah... I know." Kate seconds the motion and she holds her tongue from voicing out the rest of her concerns. They've already gone over them last night, too many times in fact, so there's no need for a rerun in the morning. Which is why she brings out another just as important matter, "Well I need to shower so I should go now."

It's just something so normal, so positively mundane, so completely anti-climactic compared to basically everything they've ever said since yesterday, that it goes over Max's head. It's only been a day but she can already feel her life go out of synch so much that she almost forgot about something as basic as taking a morning shower. She's about to bid her friend goodbye when a thought comes to her. "Wait, did you stay here just to wait for me to wake up?" She asks with wide innocent eyes.

"I might have..." Kate has suddenly found difficulty to make eye contact as she drawls on, "Have been interested in poring through last night's notes." She squeaks out what sounds obviously like an excuse. She's adorable, really, so it's hard to get mad at her.

But Max attempts a light chiding. "You do know that you don't need my permission to leave, right?" She says with a raised eyebrow. She's not mad, not really, maybe a bit more playful than reprimanding.

"I know that and it's not about that." Kate's hands quickly cup over her mouth and her nose, practically half of her face, in embarrassment. If it wasn't for the angle then one could clearly see the strong blush dusting across her cheeks. Her voice is small but nowhere does it sound weak. If anything, she sounds an octave short of shy but with an undertone of something stronger. "Sorry, I know it sounds stupid but..." She trails and finishes the rest of her sentence in a tone that sounds just as sheepish as it is sincere. "I just needed to hear your voice before I left." Genuine, Kate is being so open and honest and genuine— that it takes Max's breath away.

Max blinks at first. "Oh..." She says dumbly. She's speechless. Did she hear that right? She knows that she probably heard that right but it astounds her nonetheless. It's just one of those lines that she's never thought has applied to her. It's taken her by surprise and she's absolutely floored. She feels honored to have someone talk about her in such light that it feels a bit surreal. How does one respond to that? The answer is that she doesn't know how. So she ends up stammering, "I uh, wow. Um, thanks? You're welcome. I mean, uh, no problem. No, wait, that's not it."

Hear that? Those are her thoughts word for word— #nofilter. She fumbles more with her words until she gives up altogether. She sighs just to remind herself to breathe and from there, she tries to string together the most coherent thing she can muster, "I totally get that. What you mean. Sometimes I just... I need to hear a person's voice or see a text from them and then I'm all set."

If Kate was amused with her stammer show, she didn't say. Instead she nods in agreement and adds, "Yes, well it's good to know that you understand."

"I try to." Max admits at least this much. "I still don't get a lot of things, I mean I can't say for sure since your experience is different from mine. I won't get everything you say, not really. And maybe I never will get some things until I actually get them." She pauses when she realizes she might have gone off tangent there but she means everything she says. "But I try. I want to try— and I want to understand."

"That's all that anyone could ever ask for." Kate's eyes are shining or are they watery? Either way she looks more pleased than ever with Max's answer to a question that she didn't even ask. She lightly claps her hands and hums, "Anyways, let's save some for shower thoughts?"

"Sounds like a plan." Max nods with a breathless smile. Sharing feelings is nice and all but doing mundane tasks in between has its own merits too. "Meet me back here after? We share first class so I was hoping we could go together."

"That would be lovely." Kate starts but then her face falls halfway through, hesitant. "I might take a while in the shower though..." It feels as though there's supposed to be a "because" following that but she clips it short and at this, Max tries to be understanding.

"It's okay. Punctuality isn't my strongest suite either. Take all the time you need." Max reassures her and when it seems that Kate is taking too long just second guessing on this, Max takes a risk for her. So she pulls her in for a quick hug, nothing bone-crushing but just as warm. "I'll see you later, okay?" She doesn't leave her with any other choice and Kate's smile says she doesn't mind.

With that, Kate leaves for her own morning rituals. Max is pretty sure that she should follow her lead and hit the showers too but something about her room has her trapped. Not in the helpless kind of sense, just intrigued enough to hold her in place. The silence comes back with a vengeance but it's not as suffocating as she thought it should have been. The silence complements her sole presence and it reminds her just how comfortable solitude could be. It feels like it's been so long since she's last been left alone in her room. She knows that's silly because she has always been the sole occupant of this otherwise desolate place. Yesterday was the record for the longest anyone else has stayed. And as nice and reassuring it was to have Kate there beside her, Max couldn't help but feel relaxed in this solitary downtime too.

Breathe. No one else is here but you, Max. You're here in this moment. Don't complicate this. Just... exist.

She carefully treks across the barely visible floor, a collaborative mess with more contribution on her part, until she reaches the sofa where Kate had slept. A whiff of something foreign yet familiar dances right underneath her nose. Chamomile. It reminds her of flower gardens and tea dates— and Kate. Its light fragrance reminds her of spring and new beginnings, and how their friendship started with a cup of chamomile tea. Unlike her short sips of tea, she inhales in deep breaths, her soul savoring the soothing fragrance. Max giggles at how that scent is so Kate, light and comforting. No wonder it's her favorite cup of tea. And Max thinks that it just might be hers too. It puts her in a good mood and she doesn't want to lose momentum. So she picks up the guitar set beside the sofa and starts strumming. As the notes naturally flow, so do her thoughts.

Kate is so strong for pulling herself together yesterday even if there's still bits and pieces falling through the cracks. I was so scared to almost lose her... HAD lost her actually if not for these time powers. I'm so glad that she decided to stay. More than that, she decided to stay with me even with all my time rewinding shit. I cannot express just how lucky I am to have Kate still by my side.

After finishing a song that she doesn't know the title of, she gets up and stretches. It feels surreal to see her room like this or to not see it at all. It's kind of hard to imagine that all this research was only done in one night considering how burried her room is. They have stacks of books in different corners with bookmarks slipped in between pages. There are sticky notes practically everywhere. On books, on walls, on her desk, on her laptop, and apparently even on Lisa. Actually, how did a time note even get stuck on her? They must have been really out of it last night. And don't even get her started on her laptop. There are too many tabs open and too many torrents of time travel films and documentaries, all hosting their own Battle Royale over the bandwidth. Forget lag, she'd be lucky if her laptop doesn't freeze at this rate.

We went through so much stuff yesterday. But we're nowhere closer to the answers that we need. I'm starting to think that maybe we should be focusing our efforts elsewhere. I know there's a scientific explanation out there about my time powers but would it even help me? There isn't exactly a time powers guide for dummies. And even if there was, I doubt there's a section on how to stop a killer storm.

Her head almost throbs at the thought, or memory, or vision— or whatever you call what she saw. She still remembers the utter helplessness that she felt. The terror that struck her was like lightning, and no one survives that without trauma. She doesn't want anyone else to experience that, no one deserves to feel like they were going to die. Or die at all in a storm. If she doesn't do anything, that feeling will become a reality to the people of Arcadia Bay. That's why she's pouring everything she has into this. But will everything she has be enough? Her body's protests remind her that she's only human. Despite being able to rewind time, it's not quite adding up. Her body can't keep up and the nosebleeds are red like stoplights telling her to hold back. When her brain isn't busy having migraines, it keeps screaming at her that she's running out of time.

Even if I can rewind time, that doesn't mean I have all the time in the world. In fact, I only have until Friday.

As terrifying as that thought is, she tries not to get overwhelmed by it. It's too early to get cold feet. If she dwells on it any longer, she just might freeze over enough to be put in cryogenic sleep. Okay, so maybe she's been reading too many sci-fi sources in their research. That's enough contemplating for now, she supposes. They say that the key to a Eureka moment is to not think at all. A shower sounds distracting enough right now. So Max picks up her shower supplies and quickly heads out. She doesn't pay much attention on her way there. After all, what could possibly happen that could be worse than contemplating the end of your hometown, right?

And just her luck, she just had to run into the residential queen bee.

"Ugh, another loser in the morning?" Victoria scowls even before her arms cross in disappointment. Ouch, Max isn't exactly prepared for an attack so early in the morning so it stings a bit. She opens her mouth to retort but Victoria, true to her name, beats her to the chase. "Don't even start with me. I've already filled in my quota of tolerating one pathetic excuse for a human being per day, thank you very much." She doesn't even give her a second glance as she pushes forward, her shoulders shoving harder than politely excusable. "Oh and by the way, you've got a stupid look on your face. Oops, my bad. That's just how you always look." She sniggers before finally leaving her.

"Well good morning to you too." Max mumbles even though she knows that Victoria can no longer hear her nor that she'd want to listen to her anyways. "More like good riddance." She curses under her breath. So much for a fresh start. She's about to head into one of the shower stalls when something red catches her eyes.

Again? When will she ever let this go? Seriously, this has got to STOP.

She wipes away the same weblink she had to erase yesterday. It's bad enough that the video itself exists but to keep publicizing it is just over the top cruel. If only they knew just how much Kate is suffering through then maybe they wouldn't be so mean. But that's the thing, they don't know or rather, they don't want to know. They're not even listening to her. Kate almost jumped, had jumped, off the roof because their selfish asses were too busy raising themselves on pedestals by stepping on Kate. Max's right hand clenches into a fist and wipes harder than she should have. It sickens her to see the way they treat others and it infuriates her because she's part of the problem too. She's been a bystander all this time doing nothing and even now that she isn't anymore, she still can't do anything. She desperately wishes she could do more for her friend.

I have the power to rewind time and yet I'm powerless against the school bullies. Some lame friend I turned out to be.

She lets out a deep breath. She knows that's not true. She knows that she's not that useless and she knows that at least she's putting an effort now. She's trying her hardest to help Kate and she's making progress even if they're small compared to all the crap that they have yet to plow through. This is no time to be insecure. She shouldn't let Victoria get to her like this. Maybe she should rewind and tell off Victoria, that would be immensely satisfying. But then again, maybe not. Well it would be without a doubt satisfying but it'd also be petty. Max wouldn't put it past herself to be petty sometimes but not this time. She just couldn't, in good conscience, do something so spiteful and then use Kate as an excuse. It just wouldn't feel right.

And besides, she shouldn't use her powers for something so small. If they were going to beat the bullies then they're going to go BIG. So she pushes down her frustration, deep deep down, and tries to be the bigger person. What did she come here for? Oh right, a nice hot shower.

Unfortunately, no Eureka moment comes to her in the shower but it's refreshing all the same. She returns to her room and to her mild surprise, Kate isn't there yet. Huh, so she wasn't kidding about that long shower. Max barely remembers if any of the other stalls were occupied while she was there because she was distracted. Well at least she gets to change clothes in privacy now. She picks out an outfit that Victoria would probably call waif hipster bullshit aka Max's comfortable clothes: jeans, shirt, and a hoodie. There's a doe shirt she's forgotten that she owns and her choice is easily made.

Hey, who knows? Maybe I'll see that ghost doe again. Maybe she'll see my shirt and see this as a sign that I come in peace.

As friendly as her shirt's print is, it doesn't summon any spirit animals. She tries out a few doe puns while she's at it. There's still no sign of any ghost doe or Kate even after she's exhausted her jokes for the day. It's quiet. It's the kind of quiet that has her restless. In other words, it's annoyingly quiet and Max is bored. She surveys her room for anything she could do other than go through a migraine's worth of research. No way, she's already suffered through enough headaches last night. She sees Lisa sitting innocently in one corner. Now that she thinks about it, she's forgotten to water her yesterday so today sounds like a good day to quench the thirst of her favorite and only plant.

Drink up, buttercup.

She pours Lisa a drink, she even pretends to be a barista for the heck of it. Just after one shot, her imagined part-time gig is already over. And so she waits... And waits... And waits... And then waits some more. Okay, so maybe it was a bit unrealistic to expect that to last for a good solid five minutes but in her defense, she didn't think that Kate would still be MIA in that time. She pulls up her phone even though there aren't any new messages. Her parents did send a few concerned texts last night because of the rain but no surprise there. Then she remembers how social media is a convenient trap that ensnares victims into spending way too much time mindlessly on it than they should have. That sounds like a tempting offer for a distraction. So she gives in and then goes through her newsfeed especially the articles trying to explain the freaky red rain.

Red rain itself isn't that abnormal. It's pretty common around places near desserts. The rare ones that do happen are when a meteor passes by overhead. But that's the weird part. Astronomists with their observatories have yet to confirm any rock shooting across the sky of Arcadia Bay. And the particles found inside samples can't be identified with what's currently known. It's like the red rain materialized out of nowhere. It just gets creepier the more I read.

And she's not sure if she wants to see just how creepy this could get. So she bookmarks the links for reading later even though she knows that she already has an infeasible amount of reading to do. Is it just her or did the stack of books get taller? She's trying hard to block out their existence for as long as possible. But seconds turn to minutes and with every passing minute, guilt piles on her for ignoring her responsibilities. Kate is still absent and as much as Max wants to contact her to check if everything's okay, she did tell her friend to take her time. Maybe she just couldn't decide on which outfit to wear. Probably not but she hopes it's as mundane as that. Besides, she trusts Kate. If there's anything that she needs, she would have already contacted her. And with that last reassuring thought, Max picks up a book and pores over it while she waits.

After what seems like hours, finally there's a soft knock on the door. "Come on in!" Max immediately puts down her book and gets up on her feet, eager to greet Kate with a smile but it crumbles as soon as she sees her. And a moment too late, Max is painfully aware of how the softness in her knock isn't one out of gentleness but rather one out of weakness— falling apart weakness.

Kate is barely a shadow of what she used to be just earlier this morning. Her feet practically drag on the floor as if she couldn't carry the weight of her own burdens. Her shoulders are hunched again into a defensive curl but there's no strength in it. There's no tension that's keeping her high strung, rather the opposite. Her frame is on the brink of falling apart. Even the slightest movement could tear down the pieces that she's barely keeping together. Her hands hang limply on her sides, she's not even trying anymore. She looks like she's given up. Whatever fighting spirit she had, has been mercilessly stolen from her. She might have even aged in the short time that Max hasn't seen her. Her eyes are freshly red-rimmed and there are tearstains that speak louder than her silence. She looks like she cried until it hurt, and then some. She looks like she's done more than just crying. She looks like she's dying.

She looks like she doesn't belong here. She looks out of place and out of time. She looks like she did on the roof yesterday.

"Hey, Kate." Max greets her softly, tentatively, carefully as if even the slightest raised voice could have Kate fall to pieces. The door closes with a click that sounds morbidly close to that of a gun's trigger. There's no actual gunshot but Kate looks like she's ready to take a bullet. Max draws herself closer to her in small and careful steps. She's treading on thin ice that she can't afford to break. "Are you... okay? Did something happen?"

Her eyes are distant, unseeing, she looks at Max as if she isn't there. In fact, she's hardly looking at Max at all. Her head is down and looks ready to hit the ground if it wasn't attached to her neck. She's looking at nothing and at everything at the same time. There's so much emotion behind her eyes, hurt, sorrow, anguish, and yet they look empty all the same. It's as if she's been hollowed out leaving her as a husk ready to be thrown away. It takes a painfully long while before Kate answers back and even then, it's barely a mumble. "It's nothing..."

"It doesn't look like nothing to me." Max argues, careful to keep her tone light and even. She puts a hand on Kate's arm tentatively and releases a breath when she doesn't brush it aside. She doesn't do anything about it at all. She doesn't even have the strength to react when Max pulls her towards the bed and sits her down. Dragging her is easy, too easy, and Max has a suspicion that it's not just out of trust. Kate doesn't even bother anymore and that's what bothers Max the most. "You don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it. But just in case you need this out then I'm here for you." She gives her arm a squeeze that's both reassuring and pleading. If there's anything that Max can do to help, anything at all, she would do it in a heartbeat. But help is a two-way thing so for Max to help her, Kate needs to let her. "I'm always willing to listen."

There's an indiscernible fog behind Kate's eyes but after hearing Max's words, it clears. Just a bit. It never truly goes away but at least for now it looks like she can see past the horrors. She finds her voice somewhere along the way and it is full of vindication. "I ran into Victoria in the showers and she was being a b..." She trails and just manages to stop herself out of years of practiced discipline. Her tongue is heavy in her mouth, contemplating on using such blasphemous language. But then she remembers her mother's disapproving scowl and punishing whips, and the lashback is so strong that she winces. She remembers her mother more often than she would like to and it's never the pleasant memories. So she keeps her vocabulary holy enough but her message is anything but. "Not nice person. She said a lot of awful things. Nothing I haven't heard before."

"Ugh, seriously?" Max scowls as soon as the name is brought up because nothing ever good is associated with it. She takes a lot of crap from her but she knows that Kate has it worse, much worse. Screw the responsible high road, she wishes that she should have been petty and time-powertripped Victoria while she had the chance. For someone who thinks so high of herself, she stoops to the lowest blows. She really needs to get off Kate's case. "When will Victoria give you a break?"

"Probably never. Not when she perpetually has a stick up her-" Kate snaps her jaw shut before she could finish the sentence. She looks like she's burned her tongue from just almost saying it. She swallows the toxic shame thickly and vehemently shakes her head. "Never mind. It's nothing new anyways."

"Sorry to hear about your morning run in with the devil. I should have been there with you to back you up." If Max thought she was pissed with Victoria from her morning encounter then she should have prepared herself for the rage she feels now over what she did to Kate. Maybe it's not too late to take justice in their hands. Her right hand twitches, ready to be called upon by the soon to be vigilante. Someone has to abolish the queen bee's monarchy and Max is now more than willing. "How long exactly has it been since the encounter? Maybe I can rewind and put in a few words for her."

In the back of Max's mind, she may have thought that her words would have cheered up Kate or at least make her less upset. But they don't. If anything, she looks even more miserable although she's trying but failing not to let it show. "I appreciate what you want to do but it's okay. Well it's obviously not okay but it's not something I haven't handled before. She's done it more times than I can count and she'll do it again." She sighs dejectedly, exhausted. She's already gone past the point of caring. "It's definitely not worth your rewind. I'll just have to get used to it."

"Kate, that's not fair. You're not supposed to get used to it, nobody should." Max argues evenly, she can't believe what she's hearing. No victim should ever feel responsible to get used to bullying. She attempts to give Kate's arm another squeeze in a show of support and comfort.

But Kate refuses to be comforted. There's a spark behind her eyes, the kind that ignites powdered kegs, and it burns with an intensity that Max fears is for the wrong reasons. It burns slowly at first, the seconds ticking by, it burns until eventually, Kate explodes. "Well life isn't exactly fair, is it? If it was then I wouldn't have a viral video!" She snaps and her fury brings smoldering fire that has Max flinch or else she'll get burned. It reminds her of how wildfires could start from dry grass starved of water and how forests get burned in minutes. Kate's fire is neither tame nor tempered and Max can practically feel the flames lick at her skin. Kate is absolutely furious and her rage sets the room on fire. "I swear to God, I've never done anything wrong or close enough to merit the hell I'm going through and yet here I am."

Whatever thin ice she was treading has now melted and flames scorch underneath. Kate is mad, furious, and who wouldn't be? She at least deserves the right to be mad after everything she's been through. But Max has never had to deal with a mad Kate before nor does she know how to. How do you put out wildfire? Honestly, she wants to just bolt right out the door but she can't. Kate's gaze is so intense, it has her trapped in imagined walls of flames. Kate's enraged embers might be consuming all the oxygen too quickly because Max is finding it difficult to breathe. She's panicking deep inside. Not that deep though because it seeps in the obvious beads of sweat that trickle down her forehead. She tries to keep her composure. Despite all this, at least one of them has to stay calm. She puts on her best calm face she could muster under pressure. "I believe you, Kate. That's why we're going to fix this." She almost falters but she holds it together. The calmness might not be all that genuine but the sincerity in her words is.

It seems to cool the flames for a bit but not enough to put out the fire. "What if it can't be fixed? What if it's over for me?" Kate asks, despondent. She asks with desperation strangling her throat. She asks even though she painfully sounds like she already knows the answer. And judging from how her voice cracks and falls apart, it's not the answer she would have wanted.

"We've already talked about this Kate. It's never over for you." Max says and it's the most sure thing she's said in this whole conversation. She believes in this wholeheartedly. But Kate looks hardly convinced. She looks as though that talk they had ended differently for her. It is over— in Kate's head at least. And this is one of the things that Max doesn't get. Didn't they talk this out on the roof? Didn't they talk again in her room? And didn't they come to the same conclusion both times? If so, then what exactly made Kate change her mind?

Something isn't adding up. Something happened. Max doesn't know what but something definitely happened and it happened the moment that Max left her eyes off Kate. Her heart plunges at the guilt knowing that she could have prevented this. She can practically feel her right hand throb, tempting her to rewind right this instant. But she doesn't raise her hand, not yet. Instead she balls it into a fist so tight that her nails dig into her skin. She can't rewind yet, not until she figures out what exactly happened and how she could prevent it. This suffering Kate in front of her isn't permanent. She can fix this. She's going to fix this. And to do that, she needs Kate to help her find out how.

Max takes a deep breath to prepare herself but it does little to calm her frayed nerves. Kate looks equally on edge and Max tries to push out the thought of literal edges and long drops and cold hard pavements. She places a hand on top of Kate's and is relieved when she doesn't brush it off. Her skin feels cold at first but eventually the warmth seeps through and the reassuring sensation of life coursing underneath gives Max the strength to carry on. She leans in closer and her voice is also softer. "This isn't just about Victoria, is it?"

It's a question just as much as it is an unquestionable fact. It's only a question out of delicacy. It's the most considerate anyone has ever treated Kate and it puts out the flame and the fury. Her eyes are now ashen and she looks as if she's a ghost walking out of that fire. When she finally talks, her voice is small and quiet. So quiet. The kind of quiet that you hear in funerals. "My church finally found out about the video." She says it as if it were a death sentence. Maybe it is. She sounds like a ghost who's just realizing that they're dead. "If it was just kept within the family then maybe I could have prayed for their forgiveness. But now that the whole church knows, I'm not just bringing shame to myself— I just damned my whole family!" And just like a ghost pleading for salvation, she shouts as if she can't be heard. The church has always been a second home to her but now it just might be her second hell. She's painfully reminded of how churches hold not only masses but also funerals— and this is her funeral procession.

Max is at a loss on what to do. She expected something seriously messed up but she was a fool to think that it was something she could handle. The church is a big deal for Kate, especially for Kate. If the people of God are abandoning her then no wonder she feels hopeless. That's one pillar of support sledgehammered and there's barely enough foundation left to keep her standing. And then there's the more important people in her life. "And how's your family taking it?" She asks even though she fears to hear the worst.

Kate flinches as if struck by a heavy blow. She curls into herself some more in an effort to wretch the horrid words out of her. "I was just on the phone with my mom and if it weren't for dad then I think she would have disowned me on the spot. But that's not the worst part." Kate pauses as her breath hitches. It's quiet and the silence is deafening. There are ways to kill a person without stopping the heart. And Max could see the exact moment in which Kate dies.

"The worst part is my sisters. They didn't do anything except the only sin they ever have to their names is that I'm their sister!" Kate shouts mix with her sobs and it is absolutely heartbreaking to hear. "It's my mistake and yet they're forced to suffer with me. They were crying, Max. They were telling me of all the awful things that people said to them and all the mean looks they were given. And we all know that it never stops there. Oh God, what have I done? They're getting bullied and it's all my fault, Max!" She wails like a condemned soul would beg for forgiveness. They say that the dead pray not for themselves but for the living. And as Max sees Kate's tortured soul break down, she thinks that they were right.

"Jesus Kate, I don't know what to say." Max breathes and it doesn't even occur to her that she just used the name of the Lord in vain. When it does however, she realizes that she did this in front of Kate and worse of all, Kate doesn't even bat an eyelid.

"What else is there to say? I'm the jezebel of the family and I bring sin and suffering wherever I go." She scoffs and her laugh comes out warped and hollow. Her voice is hoarse as if harshly clawed right out of her throat and so bile mixes in with her words. "Maybe you shouldn't be even associating with me anymore. "

Now it's Max's turn to start a fire. Hers is nowhere near a slow burn because she feels as if someone had lit a matchstick in her. And all of those hurtful words that Kate has been throwing at herself is gasoline for Max. She can feel the flames burn underneath her skin but it doesn't scald her. This is no wildfire but this fire is controlled and tempered to just the right degree. It's like the fire of a stove, it serves to help not to harm. It gives her strength. She's not sure about a lot of things. She's not sure how to respond to being shared with such painful facts. She's not sure how to help her friend whose life is crumbling right before her. She's not sure if there's even anything that she can do to help. But if Max is sure about anything it's that she will never abandon Kate. Never again. "Kate, I will go through hell just to be with you. I am not letting you go. Ever. And I will not let you get rid of me that easily."

"This isn't just about me! Can't you see that I just make things worse for everyone?" Kate shouts it as if it's a truth. But this truth does not set her free, instead it shackles her to a prison of her own making. It's just as much a prison as it is a grave. And Kate doesn't look like she even wants to be raised from the dead. "I don't even care if I'm suffering anymore but if me existing is hurting the people I care about then I... I..."

Max doesn't let her finish that sentence. She's already seen that death sentence with her own eyes and she will not have Kate make a repeat. "That's not true. You are not hurting anyone, not intentionally at least." She reasons with her own truth, the truth that Kate needs to hear more. "And even so, it's not your fault."

Kate's eyes widen for a fraction and it's the only warning Max gets. "It is my fault! It's my damn fault because I went to that stupid party in the first place!" She argues furiously. She's shouting at Max and maybe a part of her is mad at Max too. But most of that anger is directed at herself. She's reprimanding herself with such harshness that it puts her mother's slap to shame. In the back of her mind, she knew. She knew that her mother was right and she should have stayed a good Christian girl and listened to her. If she did then maybe the gates of heaven would still be waiting for her instead of this hell on earth. "I knew that it wasn't my scene but I thought that for once maybe I should try to loosen up a bit and see what others see in it." Her eyes lower dangerously and so does the tone of her voice, dripping with regret. "I should have known that that was the devil's voice talking."

"You couldn't have known. We all make mistakes, Kate." Max tries to reason with her. It's logical and rational and it's one way to describe what happened, but Kate is having none of it.

"Yeah but not all of us end up as a viral slut!" Kate yells at the top of her lungs the obvious truth that Max has been skirting around. It silences the both of them. It's hard to breathe. Max couldn't find any words to say yet so Kate fills in for her. As if she had used all of her strength in that last shout, her voice comes out soft and somber. "I just wish things were different. Maybe if I had never gone to that Vortex Club party then maybe I wouldn't be in this place." It's a hypothetical scenario, it's a too late plea, it's wishful thinking— it's a "what if" that will "never be".

"I know it's something you regret but maybe it's better if you don't beat yourself up over it." Max says in an effort to console her. It's far from an "it's okay" but it's the closest thing she could provide. It's a consolation prize of "move on" and she can only hope that it's enough. "It's over and there's nothing we can do to change the past."

"It's funny that you should say that Max considering you're the one with time powers." Kate mutters bitterly under her breath.

But Max hears it all the same and it strikes a blow of guilt at her like lightning strikes down from the sky. It jolts her right back into the reality that no matter how much she wants to help, she's utterly helpless. "I..."

There's a heavy pause in between, leaving the air so thick and humid that dark clouds could have formed overhead. The atmosphere is just right for a thunderstorm and for the longest moment, Max fears that lightning will strike the same place twice. But it doesn't come. The sky doesn't clear but Kate soon realizes her mistake. Her face softens with instant regret. "I'm sorry. That was out of line even for me." She abruptly stands up and Max's hand falls limply to the side. "I need to go." She rushes to the door with a speed that could only be fueled by desperation.

"Kate, wait!" Max reaches out to grab her by the wrist without even thinking.

"Just leave me alone!" She struggles free from Max's hold with a strength that's painfully synonymous to rejection. Kate looks back at her as if she was burned by the touch. She raises her voice, its sharpness cuts through like daggers. "Don't! Don't you dare follow me." She doesn't even have the strength left to keep her voice up. It softens but her gaze remains hard and unfeeling— refusing to feel anything. "I just... I just need some time alone to deal with this, okay?"

Kate slams the door on her way out with a force so intense that it causes a nearby stack of books to topple over. Max can even still hear her ears ringing or maybe that's the sound of her world falling apart alongside Kate.

That was... intense. Should I rewind? But even if I did, what would I say? No amount of words can fix Kate's problems. She's right. As long as that video exists, the issues will just keep piling up. I'm starting to wish that the universe gave me a different set of powers maybe one that could wipe memories or something. What's the use of rewinding time if the people I care about are still miserable?

It's only when she slams her right fist down that she realizes how tightly she's had it clenched the whole time. Her knuckles are sickly white and if her nails weren't trimmed, she's sure that they would have pierced skin. When she unfurls her hand it becomes a task that shouldn't be this difficult. It feels acutely numb and foreign, it feels like she's forgotten how to use her fingers. Pins and needles prick underneath her skin as soon as the blood starts circulating again as she unfurls each difficult finger. She wanted to do something. She wanted to rewind time. She wanted to make things better. She badly wanted to help Kate but all she has for show is her dysfunctional right hand. Even with her time powers, she couldn't do anything.

The talk, if one could call it that, has her exhausted. She's torn. On one hand she wants to chase after Kate and then... and then what? She doesn't have a plan. If their talk was any indicator then Kate isn't exactly in a listening mood either. Maybe she should follow her request and leave her alone. That sounds safe enough, right? Max sees the roof as soon as she closes her eyes and it jolts her back to awareness. She can't take any chances. At the very least, she could leave her door open enough to hear if Kate decides to leave her room. That sounds like a safer compromise. So Max gets up and makes her way towards the door when she almost trips on one of the books.

"Fu-!" She sucks in a breath and she regains her balance at the last second. She's about to give the annoying book a death glare when something else catches her eye.

It's a photo. Not just any photo but the same kind of photo that her analogue camera develops. However, it's not one from her photo wall or from her journal. She recognizes the photo on sight. There's no mistake that she took this photo, given her trademark selfie shots, except she doesn't technically own it anymore. She remembers taking this photo and then giving it to Kate at the end of the day. Her eyes make a sideway glance to the mess of fallen books. Kate must have used it as a bookmark for one of these. Max can't discern the flurry of emotions that washes over her. She picks up the photo before she even understands why.

Hey, I remember this photo. It's the last smile Kate had right before the world broke it. If I had known that the party would lead to a viral video then maybe I shouldn't have let her go. Look at her. She looks so happy in this.

Kate's smile has always been infectious. Even in just this photo, Max can't help but smile at how genuinely happy she looks. It's kind of unbelievable that this was taken just last week. Kate is sporting a shy smile beside Max who's wearing her own dorky grin. Last week feels like a lifetime ago and even Max's own smile right now is short-lived. She cries as if she's morning the loss of a friend. The loss of a happy and carefree Kate. She chokes on a sob and her vision blurs. She wipes her tears with the back of her hand but it seems she's crying so much that she can hardly see the picture anymore. She furiously wipes her eyes and she's sure that she's dried them of tears already and yet the photo remains blurred. It annoys her because if Kate can't smile now then at least let her have this photo of her smile.

She focuses on the photo and tries to remember how it actually looks. The blending colors become crisp as the memory surfaces. She can almost see it now. The two of them just goofing around on that Friday afternoon. The colors shift, the brighter ones dance and skirt along the lines. It was just after class and they went on a tea date as promised. She can almost hear Kate's voice and it sounds so light and clear.

"Careful, I think I may have brewed it too hot."

She drops the photo when she hears the voice too clearly.

Woah! What the fuck just happened? Were those—? Did I just hear voices?

Maybe she just imagined it. She's an introvert who's lived inside her head longer than she has in the outside world so maybe it's her hyperactive imagination at work again, she reasons. That sounds crazier than it should be but at least it's within realistic standards. She picks up the photo with a confused frown. It's still blurry. Some hyperactive imagination she has but her vision isn't up to par. She focuses on the photo again. And she swears she could almost see the colors literally blend. She thinks she's imagining it. She refocuses her efforts into recalling the memory captured instead. She tries to remember how it's supposed to look like, her smile and Kate's, Kate's especially. It's a smile that's normally accompanied by laughter. Kate sounded so much carefree and happier back then, and as Max tries to remember, she can almost hear Kate's giggle.

"Well it's a good thing I'm a chill person. It'll cancel out."

"I don't think that's how temperature works."

She blinks. She doesn't drop the photo this time but she is just as disturbed. Now she knows for sure that she didn't imagine it. She's hearing voices in her head that sounds like they're coming from the photo. Does that make sense? Of course not, since when did anything remotely close to that, make sense? She files this under the same folder as her rewind powers. Something freaky is going on and she's yet to ascertain if it's a good or bad thing.

Holy shit. I've finally lost it. What the hell's going on? Is this another time power thing? What am I... What am I supposed to do this time?

It's not something she thinks too hard on. Besides, rationalizing is overrated. Whatever this is, it could help her. Her powers saved Kate the first time and maybe she could save her again this time. If her powers were given to her for a reason then Kate is always a good reason. So she refocuses on the photo with determination second only to yesterday's. She clears her head of everything else and pulls out the memory. As if it was only yesterday, she can almost picture it so clearly now.

"I'll be fine... Instant regret."

"Hmmm, I told you so."

And so like temperature, the photo comes into focus by degrees—gradually. She remembers small talk and soft laughter. The voices are becoming clearer now. She remembers the beaming face accompanying the gentle chiding. The colors are falling into place. She remembers the warm sunlight streaming through the windows. The lines are defining sharpness and dictating bounds. She remembers the taste of tea and how it burned her tongue the first sip. The photo is coming into focus. She remembers just how lighthearted that memory was and how this photo perfectly captured it.

For a moment, she thinks she finally sees the photo.

Then a flash. The sound of a camera shutter. A photo develops right before her in a camera that she doesn't remember holding.

The memory is no longer a photo that she's reminiscing.

It takes her by surprise and leaves her disoriented. Her vision blurs once again and she blames it on more than just the camera flash. There's a dull headache throbbing at her temples but she pushes that aside. She blinks a couple of times, her eyes readjusting until she starts to see the bigger picture. She's no longer in her room of shipwrecked research materials. Instead, she's back in Kate's room but not quite.

What the—? I'm in Kate's room? Wait, it looks different. And Kate looks different.

This isn't like the room she saw when she visited yesterday. There's no pile of dirty laundry on the floor, no closed blinds blocking out the sunlight, no shaming letters from angry aunts, no black cloth covering mirrors. No Kate curled up in one corner. No signs of ever being bullied. This is Kate's room but without the depression. It's bright, immaculate, hopeful— and everything is as it should be.

Alice sits in her cage shooting curious glances at her as if aware of some disturbance. At first, there doesn't seem to be anything amiss but once Max thinks her vision has finally readjusted, she realizes that the splotches are more than just temporary. Swirls of red and orange dance around the edges of the room, more so around the windows and the door. It reminds Max of film that's still being developed. Much like how this memory was captured in a photo, there are boundaries framing this world and Max isn't too keen on crossing them.

If Kate noticed Max's stares, she didn't say and so Max looks at her as if she's seeing her for the first time. There are no eyebags underneath her eyes, well maybe just a bit from staying up too late, but none from nightmares and regret. There are no red rings from crying too much because everything hurt too much. Her eyes look so bright now, a bit confused, but more importantly, they look so clear. There are no dark clouds fogging up her eyes and so there's no water, no tears falling from them. The storm inside her head that's threatening to break loose at any moment is nonexistent. She has eyes that look like she's looking forward to the future. Her hair is pulled up into a neat bun, a sign that she's actually been using the mirror and that she doesn't hate the sight of herself. Kate looks okay, she looks like her usual cheerful self and it has Max's heart jumping for joy.

Kate looks so much better now or should I say back then? ...In this moment. She looks so happy and full of life.

"You okay, Max? I thought you'd be used to your own camera's flash by now." Kate asks with a concerned face.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah..." Max tries to play it off. Honestly, her head is still spinning from the time travel trip but this Kate doesn't need to know that. So instead she smiles or at least tries to. It comes out lopsided at best. "Just spaced out a bit." And out of time, but she holds back that part of the sentence.

"If you make another joke about my tea leaves being marijuana then I will not hesitate to kick you out of the tea date." Kate warns her in a stern voice that doesn't sound as serious as she likes to think it is.

"What? No!" Max easily falls into habit. She can't help it, this is just too good to pass. "But just to clarify, is there any in there?"

Kate makes a face and groans. "You're the worst."

"You know you love me." Max teases with a playful grin.

"I love most people." Kate shyly takes a sip of her tea. She doesn't say no.

"I'll take that." Max wags her eyebrows at her and Kate has to set her cup down before she spills anything other than laughter. They share a round of giggles. It's light and warm, and it is music to her ears. She feels her chest full of bubbling laughter and she can't stop smiling. It feels like it's been so long since she last laughed, let alone heard Kate laugh.

She's missed her. This Kate. The one who could laugh and whose smiles last longer. The one who doesn't have to deal with viral videos and cruel bullies. The one who wasn't bullied into depression. The one who didn't look like she was dying. The one who didn't want to die, didn't try to get themselves dead. This Kate who is the one how she used to be and should be.

Wowsers, did I just go back in time? Like for reals? If this isn't a dream then I'm in the past. That means I can actually change the present, or the future depending on the point of view.

"Hey, Max." Kate starts once the laughter subsides and something about her tone tells Max that this isn't a beginning to a light hearted conversation. When she speaks, she keeps her voice light and even but she looks restless all the same. Whether conscious or not, a hand reaches up to touch the gold cross hanging around her neck, seeking comfort. She's hesitant. "I'm actually planning to attend tonight's Vortex Club party and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me."

There it is. The reason why Max is here in the first place. It couldn't be a coincidence that she got sent back to past in this specific moment. Max made this time paradox happen. Whether she understands how or cares to know is irrelevant. The most important thing is that she's present in this moment in time.

Time is on her side now and she doesn't want to waste this. "The Vortex Club? Are you sure you want to hang out there? That doesn't seem like your thing."

"You know me too well. I'm actually on the fence if I should go or not." Kate clasps her hands tightly around the crucifix, like a prayer. She's asking for a sign, or a blessing— or maybe a warning. "So should I stay or should I go?"

Max knows that this action may just have the greatest consequences on Kate's life.

ENCOURAGE HER or STOP HER

This feels like an obvious choice. Max is grateful to be able to stop Kate from jumping off the roof but if she could prevent Kate from ever thinking about going there in the first place then that would be the logical and best course of action. She's seen the consequences of one choice. She's seen how it caused a viral video. She's seen how it destroyed her friend. She's seen how it put Kate on the roof. She's seen how Kate fell from that roof. Nothing about the first choice is worth taking it again. So if she truly is in the past then she might as well do good while she's here. Whatever unknown consequence of the new choice, it can't be any worse than the old one.

STOP HER

"Definitely stay." Max doesn't even hesitate. Out of all the decisions she's made so far, perhaps this one was the easiest. "I don't think you need to go to know that you'll hate being there."

Kate doesn't even deny it but still— "I know it's not ideal but... I was hoping to try new things, you know? Broaden my horizons?" She pitches in with a less confident shrug. "Show everyone else that I'm not some sheltered girl."

"Kate, who cares what everyone else thinks? You don't need to prove anything to anyone." In contrast to Kate's insecurity is Max's solid belief. She stares at Kate with eyes both in respect and in admiration. And without skipping a beat, she boldly admits, "I think you're pretty awesome."

There's a pause before Kate's pursed lips pull up into a genuine smile. A faint blush dusts her cheeks but Max doesn't point it out so long as Kate doesn't call out on hers. "Max, your definition of awesome is... broad. You think squirrels are awesome." She easily retorts.

"They totally are! And adorable might I add!" Max defends them with a pout which brings out Kate's smile more. She then ups her ante with a wink. "And you are too!"

"Now you're just fishing." Kate shakes her head in embarrassment, her blush is now a shade darker.

"It's called being honest." Max says airily in such an amusing way that makes Kate giggle. She laughs with her too for a bit but eventually she sombers. She gets right into the heart of the matter. "Look, why go through the effort to get the approval of people who don't even like you? You can't please everyone and you shouldn't try so hard for them anyways." She reaches forward and places her hand on Kate's shoulder, reassuring. "The only people that you need are already here and rooting for you."

The tense hold on the cross slackens and it's not out of faith, rather the opposite. Max's words sound like something that Kate has always been wanting to hear and her heart soars. She can feel the sincerity in her words. She can feel the warmth in her touch. She can feel the support in Max. And Kate feels loved. "Wow, Max... That's so nice of you to say." She can feel tears prickle around her eyes and she wipes them before they even fall. Technically it's her first time to cry in front of Max but she doesn't feel conscious at all. She feels like she can trust her and if she'll let anyone aside from family see her like this then she thinks that she's okay with Max.

"I have my moments." Max smiles sheepishly and it looks like her courage has expired because she can practically feel her embarrassment seeping through her skin. But this is just a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of what she's trying to pull off. At the end of the day, this will all be worth it. If being honest more loudly could get Kate to reconsider her life choices then Max will speak up as much as she could. And so she stares at her friend with eyes practically pleading. "So... stay. Please?"

"You do drive a compelling argument..." Kate contemplates out loud, although she sounds almost convinced, it's still not the absolute yes that Max needs to hear.

"Please? I'll even stay with you here. We could do something that you actually want to do. Like say, a jam session that's long overdue. Or a movie marathon, those never get old." Max urges her on. There must be something that Kate would rather do than attend a party that she'll regret. "C'mon, I'll even let you pick the movies. I don't mind if it's religious as long as it's animated."

Kate looks almost appalled at the suggestion if only there wasn't a shred of truth in it. She crosses her arms and pouts, "My movie library is more diverse than you think."

"I know but I wouldn't mind it if we'd watch The Prince of Egypt." Max offers the movie that she knows that her friend can't resist.

At this, Kate's face instantly lights up. "You just want to watch James Baxter's works."

"He's an animator god!" Max argues perhaps too passionately and doesn't even realized how she just broke one of the Ten Commandments by claiming to have another god other than the Lord.

"He is amazing at what he does. His works are some of what I look up to." Kate nods approvingly and for a moment, she seems to be considering the offer. Max bites the inside of her cheek in quiet anticipation. She prays that Kate will say yes and if she doesn't, she's ready to go down on her knees to beg. But she doesn't need to because Kate eventually beams at her. "Alright, I've made up my mind. Let's watch The Prince of Egypt."

"Yes!" Max is so relieved that she's just about to cry tears of joy. She practically tackles Kate into a hug. "Thank you so much!"

Score! I actually convinced Kate to stay away from the party and I didn't even have to rewind this time! Okay so I may have photo time-jumped but that doesn't count. This is awesome! Now Kate doesn't have to go through shit anymore. Aw, yeah! Super Max strikes again!

"If you're this excited over the Book of Exodus then maybe I should send a letter to him asking if he could animate the whole Bible." Kate jokes at first but then she backpedals with wide eyes. "Oh, I don't mean that in a preaching way. I just thought..."

"It's cool, Kate. I totally get what you mean." Max can't help but smile easier now that the crisis has been averted. She's just so happy that she thinks she sees the colors dance. "So I'll see you later for our sleepover?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Kate hugs her back and even gives her a reassuring smile. God, Max has missed those. It's so bright that it's almost blinding. Until she realizes that its actually the light streaming in from the windows that are brighter than what she remembers.

The world feels like it's spinning or maybe that's just all in her head. The migraine is coming back in waves and it ripples across her vision. Colors skirt around the edges and pulsate in concentrated flashes. The photo is losing focus. The white light intensifies and engulfs the both of them. Kate doesn't seem to notice any of this happening. And Max who does see all of this, doesn't panic at all. She's too happy to think of what this could possibly mean. For the first time in a long while, Max feels unafraid. What matters is that Kate is here and safe— and she will be tonight and for the rest of her life. Max couldn't care less what could happen to herself at this point because she thinks that in the end it will be worth it.

Little did she know that all actions have consequences and life is so unfair.

The world collapses in on itself and Max can feel herself getting catapulted across time. Events are overwritten in a flurry without her control or consciousness. Her memories are becoming just that, memories without any photos to go with. Days pass in a matter of seconds or maybe even in a blink. She can't tell. Is any of this even real? For all she knows this could be an elaborate dream she conjured up out of stress. But the migraine in her head is telling her otherwise. It's loud and it hurts like hell. It feels like someone is literally moving her brain across time and they're using a sledgehammer while at it. She shuts her eyes until the pain eventually subsides.

When she comes to, she's in an entirely different place.

"Max? Are you in there?" She hears a voice filled with concern that echoes in her head. Except it's not in her head and the source is staring right at her. She doesn't recognize this girl nor should she since she doesn't recall associating with anyone as punk as this girl. But when she looks closer, she starts to remember. She remembers seeing those blue eyes from a childhood long forgotten. She remembers smug smiles and pirates hunting for treasure. She remembers blond instead of blue hair and a best friend that she left shipwrecked on Arcadia Bay.

"Chloe?" She asks dumbfounded.

What's going on? And is this Chloe? She looks so different from the last time I saw her but I don't have the right to judge. I didn't exactly keep in touch while I was at Seattle. But that's beside the point. Why am I with Chloe? As in why isn't she shouting in my face mad for being a lousy best friend? I thought she hated me for losing contact for five years but she's right here, looking worried for me.

"You okay there, Max? You zoned out on me." Chloe asks her again when she doesn't reply the first time.

"Y-Yeah... I think so." Max answers unsure. Her headache is now a low dull thrum beneath her skull but that's nowhere near the confusion she feels right now. She wants to ask outright what's happening but she knows that Chloe won't interpret that question the way she would have liked. As in seriously, what the hell is going on?

Chloe's eyes soften and Max thinks she might have mistaken her confusion for something else because what Chloe says next makes even less sense. "Look, I know how hard this must be for you. Believe me, I get it... more than you know." She places a hand on Max's shoulder and Max almost flinches at how gentle her touch it.

And all of a sudden, Max remembers the last memory she had of Chloe. William had just died in a car accident and Chloe took it hard. She remembers consoling her best friend even though she knew that Chloe couldn't see anything but the face of a father that's gone too soon. Max remembers holding her until she cried out her entire heart that died with the accident, she cried out her happy childhood that had been abruptly cut short, she cried out her whole supposed future with a loving father— she cried out everything and then some more. Max remembers how gentle her touch was, careful not to break Chloe any more than she already was. And the way that Chloe is holding on to her right now— it was with that same gentleness.

It was the same kind of gentleness that one gives when nothing in the world is right anymore.

Chloe's too lost in her own words to notice the growing panic in Max's eyes. "And it gets worse with every day that she's not..." She doesn't finish the sentence nor does Max want her to. Chloe looks so close to crying but she holds out strong. She doesn't let the sadness get to her, instead she latches on to anger with a certain desperation. Max gets the feeling that anger is how Chloe copes. Her eyes burn those tears away and her voice barely even falters. "But this isn't over. They're out there somewhere and we're going to find them."

And when Max hears Chloe's words, all she hears is a hardness brought out by the same wrongness of this world.

Them? Who's them? Oh no... What did I fuck up this time?

It's only then that she suddenly feels the weight in her hands. Paper. So much paper is in her hands and she holds them with a deathly grip. She doesn't remember having held this much paper in her life nor can she think of a reason as to why she's holding them now. Max's eyes are still fixed on Chloe's, afraid to look at anywhere else. She's frozen in fear. She wants to know what's going on but at the same time she fears that she just might regret it. Something about Chloe's hardened faraway look and the sheer tenderness of her touch, screams at Max that something is definitely wrong. She wants to look as much as she wants to look away. She can practically feel her eyes twitch at the indecision. Her heart pounds faster out of fear and in anticipation. One look is all it takes and Max dares herself to take that one look.

MISSING: Kate Marsh

And the world as she knows it falls apart. She almost drops her stack of posters if only she wasn't paralyzed out of sheer shock. She can't believe this. She refuses to believe this. She wants to believe in anything but this. She wants to believe that everything is alright. She wants to pretend that this is just some sick joke and someone will tell her that is all fake. She wants to look away from the unmistakeable poster that shouldn't exist, look away from the nauseating reality she created, look away from the crippling truth that can't be bent. She wants to look away and never look back. She wants to pry her eyes away from the haunting image of her friend printed on paper— the kind of print that make up horror stories. Except this isn't just a story anymore but a fucked up reality. She wants none of it. She wants to run into the arms of her said missing friend but she can't. Kate's not here. In fact, she's nowhere to be found.

"Oh no..." Max whispers as she slowly shakes her head in denial. She doesn't accept this, cannot accept this. "No..." She croaks out and she can already feel a sob choking on her throat. Her eyes burn with hot tears which she furiously wipes away. But no matter how hard she wipes her vision, she cannot unsee this world's truth. "No, not Kate!"

Max breaks into a sprint towards the dormitory. No matter how much she runs, she can't escape from the truth. It haunts her everywhere she looks, and even when she's not looking. She sees the same poster everywhere as if chasing her. They're right next to posters of Rachel Amber— another missing girl. Kate's photo was never meant to be used in missing posters and yet that's the reality of the situation. Max refuses to accept any of it. She needs to hear Kate's voice telling her that it's okay and that she's okay. When she reaches her destination, Max knocks at Kate's door harder than she would normally have. There's no answer. She knocks again hurriedly and more desperately and god please let her friend open the door. Still no answer. The silence is deafening and it rings inside her head. This can't be happening.

Maybe she's out. Of course Kate wouldn't be here when she has classes to attend to during these hours. Max reassures herself with that explanation. So to further solidify this shaky truth, she immediately fishes her phone out of her pocket and rings her. It's out of service. That's strange, maybe there's no signal in her classroom or something. She opts for a message instead but her heart immediately drops as soon as she opens the inbox. All of the recent messages are from Max herself asking Kate of her whereabouts.

Max: I got the goods. I'm ready when you are :)

10/04/13

Kate: The room's all set. Just come in and make yourself home.

10/04/13

Max: Okay! I'm on my way now!

10/04/13

Max: I think I enjoyed myself too much at last night's slumber party. I crashed as soon as I hit the bed lol. Thanks again for serving the drinks! Let's do this again sometime :))))

10/05/13

Max: Hey Kate :)

10/06/13

Max: Uh not to sound clingy but just checking up on you. You didn't reply from my text yesterday but I figured you were out sleeping. I was going to thank you again in person but it seems you're always out when I knock. Anyways, ttyl

10/06/13

Max: You didn't come to class ): Are you okay? You're not hurt or sick or anything?

10/07/13

Max: It's just that no one's heard from you this whole weekend and we're starting to get worried. Please be safe. And reply as soon as you read this. Take care, Kate.

10/07/13

Max: Okay this is seriously starting to scare me. You're not replying and I didn't hear you play the violin this morning. I'm also assuming that you didn't lock yourself in and ignored all of my knocks. Did something happen? Did you get involved in an accident? Or did you have to go home because of an emergency? I'm worried. Please tell me you're okay.

10/08/13

Max: So I asked around and it turns out that no one's seen you at all. Also sorry for being so nosy but I got into contact with your parents and they said that you haven't texted them either. No one knows where you are. It's not like you to leave without a word. Where are you Kate? Are you safe? Are you okay?

10/08/13

Max: I ran into my best friend Chloe. I don't think I've ever told you about her but I will when you get back. She's helping me look for you. I don't know what exactly is happening with you but if you're in any danger at all and if you can contact me, please PLEASE message me. I'll be there for you ASAP. So please be safe.

10/08/13

Max: We're going to call it a night. For now. But I'm keeping my phone right beside me just in case so don't hesitate to give me a ring. I hope you're okay wherever you are. I know you're out there somewhere. I'm not giving up on you.

10/08/13

Max: Good morning, Kate. I miss you. I hope you're okay.

10/09/13 7:02AM

Max: Chloe and I are going to post flyers around school and town. I hope you don't mind me posting your info. You can scold me all you want when you see me just

10/09/13 7:04AM

Max: Please be okay.

10/09/13 7:05AM

The last time Kate replied was on the day of their tea date. If what's written on the posters are real then Kate went missing the day after.

Her thumb swipes at the screen, willing it to scroll further than the last text sent. So many sent messages and yet still no reply. Max doesn't even remember sending these but she can imagine her desperation when sending them. Oh, god how did this happen? There are so many missing posters of Kate and yet no sign of Kate herself at all. Max falls on her knees just as her world crumbles. She's on her knees falling apart and sobbing. She's on her knees begging for forgiveness. She's on her knees calling out for a friend who won't answer her calls. This is reality. She can't deny it any longer. Reality is glaring daggers at her and she feels them dig deep and carve out her heart.

Kate is missing. This is a fact. This is an irrefutable truth. This is the reality here. This is the reality that Max created with her own hands.

This can't be real. How did this happen? Didn't I stop her from going to that party? So she doesn't jump off the roof but she goes missing instead? What kind of sick logic is this?

"Max!" Chloe shouts as she eventually catches up to her. She wordlessly wraps an arm around Max's shoulders and gently brings her other arm to envelop her in a consoling hug.

"Chloe..." Max croaks, her voice is already raw from crying. She feels like she's been crying forever. "I fucked up... I fucked up and now Kate's missing." She sobbed harder into her best friend's shoulder. She cried as much as she shouted at herself. "Shit! I just had to screw around! How stupid I was to think that I could get away with anything! Now Kate's gone and it's all my fault!"

"Sshh, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known." Max almost recoils because she remembers saying those same words to Kate earlier in another time. She wonders if this was what Kate felt at the time. Hopeless. "It's going to be okay." Chloe whispers as she rubs soothing circles on Max's back. Her voice is even more gentle than last time and Max just cries harder, unconsolable. But Chloe tries to anyways. "She won't be gone forever. We'll find her. We'll find Rachel. And then we can finally blow off this hellhole."

Despite Chloe's best efforts, Max couldn't hear her through her own sobs.

She can't remember anything. It's been a good while since her breakdown and although she's still shaken, she's calmed down at the very least. She figures that crying won't help her anyways and every moment she spends sobbing is a moment wasted. So she redirects her energy into figuring this out. She tries to recall what has happened this last few days but she can't. In fact, she has no memories of the days that she didn't exactly live. Which kind of makes sense but it doesn't help her situation at all. The most she could piece up is the gist that Kate's gone missing without any hint as to where she could have gone. As far as Max is concerned, she just might be as clueless as the Max who she just replaced. And don't even get her started about this alternate timeline and existential questions regarding it because she's put that topic aside for another day. Her top priority right now is finding Kate and nothing else matters.

They decided to split. Chloe would take care of posting the flyers within campus grounds and Max would post hers on bulletin boards in the main building. They agreed to meet up some time afterward but not without another hug from Chloe. Max takes what little comfort she could get and it's enough to keep her moving. It's nice that she gets to bond again with Chloe but Max just wishes it was under different circumstances. But even so, Max is glad that at least she isn't alone in this. It's horrible that Chloe has gone through— has been going through this for months now— but she's still going strong. And Max draws strength from her best friend.

Even when apart, Max doesn't fall apart as much as she would have because she knows that Chloe has her back. It keeps her resilient enough to take on the sympathetic stares that she gets when she posts the missing flyers— even the ones that aren't as sympathetic. Even here with Kate missing, they still wouldn't cut the poor girl some slack. Max has half the mind to punch anyone who so even makes a joke about this but so far no one hasn't done that yet, at least not out loud. It's not like there's a lot of people in the hallways anyways since it's right in the middle of class hours. It's only then that Max realizes she's skipping class. She couldn't care less about attendance at this point anyways. She walks down the hallway to post some more, when a door opens and she makes the mistake of making eye contact with the person who comes out.

"Max, if I may have a word with you?"

Oh, shit. Busted. So much for skipping class. Looks like I'm going to get a lecture regardless.

"Sure thing, Mr. Jefferson." She walks over to him and his office. He doesn't speak until they're both inside and seated.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" He starts with a reprimanding tone.

"So is Kate but I don't see her anywhere." She easily retorts and at this point, she's too tired to filter her words.

There's a pregnant pause. Mr. Jefferson looks at her with an unreadable expression. For a moment, Max thinks she sees something indiscernable flash across his eyes. But when she blinks, it's already gone. He lets out an exasperated sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Not to sound like I'm a hundred percent against it but isn't it too soon to be posting these flyers? Kate Marsh hasn't even been gone for a week. For all we know she could have taken the wrong bus home and is about to contact us any day now."

"But that's just the thing. No one's heard anything from her. Not me or any other Blackwell student, not even her family." Max points out and it pains her at how hopeless her voice comes out. She takes a deep breath to compose herself but it does nothing to shake her restlessness. "I know Kate. She's not the type to just run away without a word. Something must have happened to her. I just know it."

"You're worried about her. I get it." He adds sympathetically and at this he softens his voice, understanding. "And I'm proud of you for going through such lengths for your friend. I'm sure that Kate would be happy when she finds out."

"I'll be happier when I find her." She mumbles bitterly.

"Of course." He seconded in a way that sounded like the end of that discussion. He straightens his posture and brings out another stern tone but this time it's more advising than reprimanding. "Now Max, I'm sure you know that I didn't just pull you over to talk about Kate."

Max can practically feel her body recoiling. She already knows where this is going or in her case, where she's not going. She inches back in her seat and warily asks, "This is about the Everyday Heroes contest, isn't it?"

"I'm so glad you asked." He smiles with a full set of teeth, professionally. "I know that some students like to cram but the deadliest deadline is coming up. And I'm checking up on one of Blackwell's brightest photographers to see if she's ready to show the rest of the world her talent."

"I don't know..." She rubs her arm at the sudden attention. Flattery doesn't make this any less awkward. Poor confidence issues aside, this isn't the time for her to showcase her nonexistent skills to the world not when her closest friend isn't here to support her. She doesn't want to use that as an excuse but a valid reason. It just doesn't feel right that she's not focusing all of her efforts into this search. And she needs Mr. Jefferson to understand that. "With Kate missing—"

"Allegedly." He punctuates. Max blinks at first. It takes a moment before she realizes that she just got cut off. What's worse is that she got cut off because Mr. Jefferson might not be taking this as seriously as she does. She almost flares up and explodes if not for the fact that an outburst like that would only get her tied down here longer than necessary. That and the last thing she'd want is a bad impression on Mr. Jefferson whom she respects as photographer.

So she tries not to lose her composure and goes with the flow albeit seething deep down. She at least manages to keep her tone level. "With Kate missing allegedly but also almost-confirmed-most-likely, I don't think that I'm in my best element to take a photo." Granted that she already has a photo ready but she's still just as hesitant to submit it now. Again, it's just not her time.

"Max, there's no prerequisite element to photography. Sometimes the greatest photos just happen. Actually, even the most reknowned photographers take photos even when they're not at their best." He pushes his glasses up during the pause. He isn't reprimanding her or at least he doesn't sound like it. He sounds just like he normally does. Calm and collected and knows just the right sagely advice to give without sounding too dictating. His gaze even softens in concern. "I know you're worried over your friend but you need to consider yourself too. You're exhausted, Max. Why don't you take a break and take photos while at it?"

"But I can't afford to take a break. I can't just take photos like nothing's going on." She argues back with building frustration. "What kind of friend would I be if I give up just like that?"

"I'm not saying that you should forget your search— just look at the bigger picture." He answers evenly. Unlike Max who is a fuse waiting to be lit, he on the other hand carries himself with certain calmness. And with that same certainty, he tries to cool down Max. "You'll run yourself to the ground at this rate. Use this contest as a breather." When Max doesn't look even remotely convinced, he adds offhandedly, "Maybe you'll even find a clue while searching for that shot."

Well he's not wrong. Max feels like she's one breakdown away from never getting back up. But still, taking a break might just make her more restless than rested up. The guilt of doing nothing will gnaw at her every second. But then again, it's technically not doing nothing. It could be productive now that she considers it. She supposes that the other Max here has already tried searching the same places she'd come up with anyways. And so far she has no new clues to work with. Maybe she'll stumble upon one out of pure luck. Going to places will at least get her somewhere and taking photos will keep her vigilant for any signs of Kate. As much as she would like to disagree with her teacher, he raises a good point. Maybe she'll take on his advice but only after she's done with all of the posters.

"I'll think about it. Thanks, Mr. Jefferson." She finally concedes. At the very least, this should get him off her back. She even tries to go for a small smile although she suspects it comes out as a grimace.

He gives her a slight nod and a broad smile of approval. "Just trying to be a teacher outside of the classroom."

And with no further comment from him, Max thinks that this impromptu counseling is now over. She even gets up to leave but stops halfway through when she sees something out of the corner of her eyes. It's small, it's inconspicuosus, it's not supposed to be here— it's Kate's.

"Hey is that Kate's pencil?" She asks without thinking. There's no doubt in her mind that this pencil could belong to none other than Kate. She's seen the numbers etched on one end to which Kate has pointed out the bible verse they reference to. She's seen her use the same pencil to sketch during class on numerous occasions. She's seen her draw with so much love using that pencil alone. She's seen it more than enough times to recognize it on sight and she can't possibly mistake this. Kate's pencil is amongst the pens on Mr. Jefferson's desk.

"Oh, is it? I didn't notice." Mr. Jefferson says in mild surprise. A heavy pause drops in between them. Max leans forward, scrutinizing, waiting for an explanation. He doesn't flinch at all under the sudden pressure. Instead he just clears his throat and calmly explains, "As you may have already known, Kate's my assistant student. I must have accidentally picked it up while she was helping me."

"I see... I guess that's bound to happen." Max rationalizes.

Except she knows that Kate isn't one to misplace something so treasured. But then again, Max reasons that pencils are replaceable and maybe Kate just used another one after she lost this one. Sure this might just be Kate's favorite pencil but Max also knows that the artist owns more than just one pencil. There's nothing wrong with what Mr. Jefferson said and yet, Max can't help but feel like something's off. Like she's missing something important. Like something crucial is begging for her attention but she can't pinpoint exactly what.

And as the seconds roll by, Max can feel his judging gaze weighing down heavier on her. There's something unnerving with the way he looks at her, calculating. All of a sudden, Max feels like the tables have turned and now the interrogation light is on her. It practically breaks her focus and prevents her from piecing any coherent thoughts. But he's still looking at her, waiting. So quiet. She feels the compulsive need to break the silence and so she blurts out in panic, "I know I probably already asked you this but... When was the last time you saw Kate?"

"Last week." Unlike his earlier unprepared pause, this time he answers readily. "You were there. It was during class."

"And you didn't ask to meet with her after class?" She raises an eyebrow at him in suspicion.

But he doesn't crack at all under pressure. He even scoffs lightly. "I may be a busy person but I'm no slavedriver. I only ask help from Kate occasionally and I never touch her weekends." He crosses his arms despite his tone not sounding defensive at all. He talks like he would in any other conversation. He talks like how he normally does. He talks like he knows what he's doing. "She usually finishes whatever work by then because she already has other responsibilites on weekends."

"That makes sense." It's a solid alibi. Max doesn't even know what she was expecting. This was Mr. Jefferson so of course he'd be innocent. Maybe Max is worse off than she thinks if she's this paranoid. Although to be fair, she really has no idea about anything that's happened in the last few days so it was a valid question. Still, it was a long shot and as expected, she missed. And she just embarrassed herself in front of a photographer legend she admires by not so subtley pointing fingers at him. "Sorry for being so nosy. I just thought that any information might help."

"It's alright. You're doing what you can for your friend. I can't be mad at you for that." He reassures her and then proceeds to stand as well. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have other adult responsibilities to attend to. And remember, Max. It doesn't hurt to take a break every once in a while."

"Duly noted, sir." She acknowledges and then she walks out the door faster than she politely should have.

Well that could have gone better. But it's not like anything extreme happened so that's a win. It's cool that Mr. Jefferson expects so much from me... but I bet he says that to any other student. Still, that was nice. Too bad I'll probably end up disappointing him by not entering the contest anyways.

Max can replay that awkward conversation in her head on loop later. For now, she has a more important task to attend to. So she continues to put up more posters down the hallway and on the other floors. She runs out of posters sooner than she expected. Although she hasn't put a Kate poster beside every Rachel poster, she thinks that she's covered all the necessary ground. As she waits by the entrance of the main building, she sends a quick text to Chloe.

Max: I'm done! Currently at the steps. Where u at?

10/09/13 11:11AM

Chloe: Finishing bidness

10/09/13 11:13AM

Chloe: On my way to you now

10/09/13 11:14AM

Max: Ok see you :)

10/09/13 11:14AM

Chloe: NO EMOJI!

10/09/13 11:15AM

Max: :((((

10/09/13 11:15AM

Chloe: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaax

10/09/13 11:15AM

Max: See you Chloe! ;)

10/09/13 11:16AM

When Chloe doesn't reply, Max doesn't worry. Although if this is still the same Chloe that she knows then she expects her best friend's punctuality to have her own sense of time. That leaves Max with a bit of free time to explore. There are a few people outside but no one that Max knows and she knows better than to suddenly talk to strangers. She walks around, careful not to stray too far, and examines her surroundings. She's a bit surprised that not much is different from the Blackwell that she remembers.

Figures that there wouldn't be much visible difference between this timeline and the last one I was in. After all, I only did get to miss a few days. Turns out they were important days too... God, I wish Kate's okay.

If there is any difference worth noting is that there's less vandalism regarding Kate. Sure there's a few dragging her abstinence stance but nothing that didn't exist before. As she was posting inside, she even checked inside the bathroom stalls but nothing pointed to the direction of a viral video. Now that she looks back on her brief stay at the dorms, she remembers vaguely of Kate's slate being clean of insults. So there's that. Max already knows that Kate didn't go to that party— she personally made sure of that. And although Kate never got bullied to commit suicide here, going missing isn't any better and Max is to be blamed for all of this.

At least there are no more vandalisms about Kate's video. The tradeoff is that there's no Kate at all... No, I'm not going to accept this bullshit. Kate isn't gone, she's just missing. Kate, wherever you are— I swear to God, I will find you. So please be safe until then.

She wipes away a few stray tears with her sleeves. Then she checks her phone just in case anyone gets the idea of talking to her about her waterworks. No one approaches her though, no surprise there, not even Chloe. Well it's not like Chloe gave her an ETA. Typical Chloe. So Max moves on and continues her exploration. Not even two steps from where she is and she already stumbles upon something just as interesting as it is disturbing. Three dead birds are lined up on the grass. It doesn't look like anyone placed them there unless some sick person is on the prowl.

Woah. Talk about ominous.

She tries not to think about it— emphasis on "tries". It's not like this is the first time she's seen a dead bird but this is the first time she's seen three altogether and up close. She can't tell the exact cause of death but judging by the distance from the building, flying at the walls is out of the question. There doesn't seem to be any external injuries either so she can rule out the possibility of someone shooting at them. And yet their wings are extended indicating that they were flying before death struck. The dead birds look like they died mid-flight and although Max is no zoologist, she thinks she's watched enough animal documentaries to know that birds don't just die and fall from the sky, at least not this type of bird.

It's just unnatural. You know what else is unnatural? Red rain. I've been so caught up with the news of Kate missing that I didn't notice it at first but... it's dry out here. There's not a single drop of red rain anywhere. I don't know which is more disturbing: the leftover puddles from the red rain or the complete erasure of its existence.

Her hands reach out for her camera before she's even aware of it. She takes a photo of the disturbing scene even though she hardly looks through the lens when she takes the shot. She's only taking a photo so she could investigate this later. After all, dead birds might be the new red rain here. She quickly stores the photo. She doesn't want to see it any more than necessary. Just as soon as she safely tucks away her camera, someone takes her by the hand.

"Let's bail." Chloe announces without explanation. She's already dragging Max away.

Max's feet move accordingly but her brain can't seem to keep up. Chloe doesn't look the least bit scared so Max breathes a bit easier. Classic Chloe already getting into trouble. "What's with the rush?"

"Step-douche is on my ass again." Chloe answers with a scowl. Definitely no fear there, just resentment. Lots of it. "Better step on it before he drags me back to prison."

"Step-d-?" Max hazards a look behind. There's a man hot on their trail in a uniform that she recognizes. Her eyes widen when she finally connects the information. "David Madsen?" She asks aghast.

"Yeah news flash, Max. While you were living it up at Seattle, my mom remarried." Chloe scoffs hollowly. More resentment. Some anger mixed in there too. Unlike Max, she doesn't look back, she doesn't slow down. She doesn't let anyone hold her down. "It's that prick that's running after us."

"Oh..." Well Max certainly didn't expect that. Nor does she know what to say to that. What do you say when someone drops you a bomb like that? The worst part is that it shouldn't even be this explosive if only Max had kept in touch these past few years. She doesn't have an excuse nor does she want to think of one. She does want to say something proper in response to that. But running is taking up most of her brain's capacity. She fumbles, at a loss of words. "Umm..."

"Save it for later. You can apologize all you want in the getaway vehicle." Chloe tugs harder, more urgently. "Now move your ass, hippie!"

Max has no idea what Chloe's car looks like and so she just follows her lead. Turns out that her best friend's idea of an escape vehicle is more rustic than conventional. Rustic as in literal rust. It's more rust than it is a vehicle but Max will only complain after she gets tetanus from it. They practically jump into the pickup and Chloe hits the gas before she even closes the door. They're out of the Blackwell parking lot, tires skidding loudly on asphalt, before David could even catch them.

"Eat my fucking rubber, step-prick!" Chloe shouts back with a taunting laugh. From the growing distance, they hear David's shouts but he's already too far for them to sound audible. He looks mad as hell though that much they can still see clearly. She then turns to Max with a shit eating grin. "God that felt good."

"That was pretty wild." Max can still feel her heart racing even now after that run. She feels a small smile creep up on her lips.

"Wild?" Chloe barks and like an excited dog, she's jumping in her seat thrumming with adrenaline. "Dude, thrashing at a mosh pit is wild. This? This is tame shit."

"Well sorry for not leading an exciting life." Max says with mock hurt which makes Chloe snort. "Not everyone can be a hardcore punk."

"It's not the life for everyone. It takes a lot of guts and drugs to get to my level. Loads of drugs and shit." Chloe expounds and just to emphasize her point, she lights up a cigarette at a stoplight. She takes one long drag and playfully exhales at Max's face. "You've got a long way to go, hippie."

"I'm not even sure if that's the way I want to go." Max coughs and tries to fan away the cancerous smoke. She still inhales enough for her to grimace. "Ugh! That's disgusting. Why would you do that?"

"Aww, look at you. So pure. So clean. So fucking boring." Chloe just chortles and returns her attention to the road once the stoplight turned green. "Better get used to disgusting if you want to keep up."

"I'd rather we catch up instead." Max retorts with a relieved breath because thankfully Chloe keeps the cigarette out the window where the smoke won't reach her. Secondhand smoke just isn't her thing nor does she prefer it firsthand. "I don't think I can ever keep up with you at this pace."

"Yeah, not a lot could handle my shit. I'm a fucking trainwreck. The only person who could was..." Chloe swallows thickly. Max doesn't miss the way she clutches too tightly onto the cigarette that it almost crushes it. There are tears in Chloe's eyes and Max suspects those just aren't from the smoke. She keeps her gaze focused on the road in front of her although she looks like she's seeing more than just that. Just as much as there is hardness in her eyes, there's a heartbreaking softness in her voice when she murmurs, "I wish Rachel was here."

It's quiet. The kind of quiet you hear before a storm. Max closes her own eyes and leans back. "Me too." She whispers, like a prayer. "And Kate." She prays again.

"We're going to find them." She hears Chloe declare quietly, like a prayer. Except this prayer has been going on for days now. This is their novena. They've never been the type to believe in God before but they've got nothing else to believe in now. And if there is a God, hopefully, they'll hear their prayers. They pray that it's enough.

The rest of the drive is spent in silence. Eventually, they hit up lunch at Two Whales and then from there they continue to put up posters all over town. They talked up every stranger they'd meet on the sidewalk, even the ones across the street and the ones who tried to brush them off. They even went to the Meals on Wheels that Kate volunteers at but they didn't know anything either. They would have also gone to the police but it turns out that the previous Max here has already filed a missing person report on Kate. But with how incompetent some officers are, or unconcerned judging by Chloe's scowl, Max can't help but think she's done more effort on her part. Not like she has anything or anyone to show for it though.

Just where are you Kate?

They drive through Arcadia Bay and Max doesn't miss the wrongness in it. There are dead animals everywhere. It looks like the dead birds weren't indigenous to Blackwell because they found more as they went along. One even fell from the sky and dropped on the pickup's hood like a rock. Max even had to rewind at that because if she hadn't then the surprise would've made Chloe swerve the car. They wouldn't die from it but they would cause an accident that would put a truck driver into the ER. And it's not just birds that are dying. Fishermen have told them about how their nets have been empty this week. Global warming? Probably. But that doesn't explain the beached whales. There were so many of them and all of them washed up overnight. It's going to take more than just global warming to cause that much death so soon. And Max is inclined to think that this is just another premonition of the storm to come.

No red rain. Tradeoff? Dead animals. Lots of them. Overkill much? Animals are known to be more sensitive to the surroundings. Is the weather so fucked up that it's killing the animals even before the storm? Is there even a storm in this timeline? This is so messed up.

She doesn't formulate any useful hypothesis out of it. There's not enough space left in her head to think these things through when it's already preoccupied with worry for Kate. They haven't found out anything helpful on their search either and before she notices it, the day's already over. The sun is sinking along with whatever hope she started that day with. Still no sign of Kate but at least they finished putting up the posters all over town so there's that. It doesn't make her feel any better about the situation at all. It only makes her feel worse, much worse.

Max is listless. Now that she's done all there is she could do for now, which is not enough honestly, she feels the need to achieve at least something today. Is there really nothing else she could do for Kate? Maybe there is but she reminds herself that she and Chloe had already gone through that list many times today. And then there was Chloe. Even though they haven't talked in five years, they're still tight as glue now. Chloe's still mad at Max and does not even hesitate to tell her that, but she's still there for her at the end of the day, literally. It's nice to have her best friend back. Hanging out with her, even in not the best circumstances, has Max nostalgic. She looks outside the window as the pickup coasts along the bay and sees something familiar, nostalgic. She sees it in her head even before her eyes land on it. She thinks that maybe it's okay to take a breather every now and then.

"Hey, is it alright if we stop by the lighthouse?" Max brings up all of a sudden. She remembers it like it was yesterday. The lighthouse has always been their refuge back then for the two young pirates. Looking at it now, Max can't help but feel like a weary sailor just wanting to go back home. She lets out a wistful sigh as memories of the lighthouse draw her in. "I could really use a safe place right now."

"Sure, the fresh air makes my joint taste better anyways." Chloe concurs with a playful smile. "You could try some if you want. They don't use it for medicinal purposes for no reason."

"No thanks." Max shakes her head as she refuses the offer. There's no study of it yet but she's pretty sure you're not supposed to mix drugs and rewinding time. She gives her a polite smile instead. "I'd like to be able to hear my thoughts."

"Sounds shitty. If I had a choice, I'd never listen to a single thing my hellbrain says." Chloe snorts at first but when she sees Max shrink a little, she doesn't tease any more than that. She even clears her throat and lightly drums her fingers on the wheel. "But it's cool. It's your choice and I respect that."

Max's smile is instantaneous. It's good to know that she doesn't have to feel peer pressure from her best friend. "Thanks, Chloe."

Chloe drums her fingers again, embarrassed. She plays it cool with a nonchalant shrug, refusing eye contact. "No problem."

But Max insists. "No, seriously. Thank you." She leans across ever so slightly and places a grateful hand on top of Chloe's, forcing her to glance in her direction even if only for a moment. Max uses that moment to convey what she's been meaning to say today, for the past five years, for all the years before that and beyond. This time her smile is the most sincere she's ever given her best friend and it is blinding. "Thanks for today and... for everything else."

And for one full moment, they connected. They connected like they did back when they were kids. They connected like they haven't for the five years they've been apart. They connected like they were never apart at all. They connected like best friends do. But it only lasts for a moment. Maybe if Chloe wasn't driving then just maybe it would have lasted longer. But this is no if and so Chloe draws back from that moment and into her shell. She keeps a small smile though, reminiscent. "Hey, what are best friends for?"

"Being the best." Max readily answers with a goofy grin.

"Obviously." Chloe shoves her squarely on the shoulders despite working on purely peripheral vision. Max just swats the hand away with a laugh even though it's after she's been shoved. It's not even that funny or at least Chloe won't admit to that out loud. Her shit eating grin should speak louder. There's a swerve up ahead but screw that. She's in a good enough mood so she picks up the speed like a kid who knows no danger— like the pirate she used to be. "Now let's get to that hideout of ours."

For a moment, Max would like to believe that everything is going to be okay.

They reach the lighthouse area in record time, not really a goal of Max but Chloe looks pleased nonetheless. With the sun setting, it casts long shadows over the forest and the scenery is like a breath of fresh air to Max. She finds herself breathing easily, her eyes gazing over the trees that sway with the breeze, relaxed. She feels her hands take out her camera but her eyes never stray away from the shot. She takes one and then another at a different angle and then some more. She figures she still has some time before the actual sunset and for that she'll want to be at the top of this cliff, by the lighthouse. But for now it's a good idea to start at the bottom first.

"You go on ahead. I think I'll check the view down here first." Max announces when Chloe looks at her direction for the nth time and she's still not yet done taking pictures. Hey, she can't help it if there are a lot of good shots to be taken. "I haven't been here in forever." She adds as an afterthought.

"Sure thing. Just message me if you need something." Chloe easily agrees. Max can't blame her, Chloe has been anxiously waiting for this downtime. She needs to get away from all this shit even if only for a little while. This is Chloe's way of coping. "But I can't promise to be any help since I will most likely be high as hell." Or she's just excited to smoke pot without her stepdad breathing down on her neck. Either way, Chloe deserves to take a break too.

"Got it. You enjoy your blaze up there." Max dismisses her with a small wave of her hand.

"That's the plan." Chloe salutes back and then she's off faster than when they were running away from David.

Max on the other hand is satisfied where she is. There's something calming about being surrounded by trees and wildlife that she can't quite explain. It must be because of how they make living look so beautiful and effortless. Okay that sounds too cheesy even by her own standards. But it's still admittedly breath-taking. She remembers how different this place looks in her vision with the storm. Everything was just dark and terrifying, and she felt as though a tree could fall at any moment and crush her. It's strange to think that she's standing in the same area as that nightmare and not feel threatened for her life at all. She doesn't know why but she finds that thought strangely comforting.

Wowsers, this place looks like it's untouched by time. Everything's the same as five years ago. It's still as peaceful as I remember it. Nature can be nice... when it's not trying to screw the town over.

It's the Golden Hour. The supposedly favorite time of the day for all photographers and Max is inclined to agree. Almost all of her shots are turning out amazing, even the ones that look absolutely mundane in any other lighting. She wonders if she'll get even more amazing shots at the base of the lighthouse since she remembers a few good spots there. She makes her way up on the dirt path with that mindset only to change her mind halfway through when she sees a familiar figure.

Hey there little fella. Long time no see, huh? So I guess you do live here, makes sense. Except I thought you only existed in my vision but then again that vision is actually a premonition of the future so technically you should be real ergo, I shouldn't be surprised to see you. Aaand I'm rambling. Point is, you're special aren't you? Is there something you want to tell me this time?

The phantom of a doe is there again, its head dips as if in response to Max's thoughts. It stares right through her, watches her and perhaps even waits for her. Now that there's no storm hanging treacherously above their heads, Max can safely admire all the little details of the creature and even the parts that aren't so detailed. She wasn't sure back then but she is now that she sees its transluscent fur. This doe looks more ghostly than real. A literal spirit animal. Max doesn't know how to take this. Time powers is already stretching it on sci-fi and now with the a ghost doe added, it's bordering fantasy or spiritual. Will things ever make sense anymore? She feels a headache coming just from thinking about this.

Regardless of the nature and intention of the ghost doe, Max thinks it's still beautiful. And so as if drawn by it, she snaps a photo of it, hoping to capture even just a fraction of its ephereal beauty. When the photo develops, the doe is nowhere on the film. All those paranormal documentaries that Max has watched did tell her that recording otherworldly creatures may be beyond our current technology but still, this is just disappointing. Well at least she tried so now she knows better than to waste film next time. Once she sets that regret aside, she finally looks up from the photo to try to question the doe— only to find her spirit animal long gone. Max also remembers how annoyingly cryptic spirit animals are portrayed in media and how they weren't that far from the truth.

Max looks back at the photo with a sigh. Without the doe in the shot, it doesn't look as spectacular as she was going for. There isn't even a blur or any sign that there was even a doe in the first place. It looks like a plain shot of grass and trees with no subject to focus on. In short, it looks like a random amateur shot. Max couldn't be any more disappointed and ready to file this under her wasted shots folder but something has her eyes still glued on the photo. If the ghost doe is her spirit animal then there must be something it was trying to tell her. They don't just show up and disappear for no reason, right? She certainly hoped not. But maybe it's not necessarily in this photo since Max was the one who took this voluntarily. Maybe she should investigate the spot it was on since nothing out of the ordinary is in the photo. She's just about to forego the photo altogether but that's when she sees it.

A glint. There's an abnormal glint on the grass that only her camera captured. It's small and inconspicuous but it's definitely there— waiting to be found. Something must have reflected that and Max is about to find out what that is. Her hands search through the grass and she thinks she may have gotten the spot wrong because she doesn't see anything at first. But then she feels it. It's small and smooth and round. A bead. A common bead that's out of place here in the woods. She examines it closer between her fingertips. There's something strangely familiar about it that Max can't quite place. Like a bead that's still stringed along with others. Like a puzzle piece from a picture she's already seen. Like a memory that's been buried deep in the back of her head.

"Haven't you ever seen a rosary before?"

Max almost drops it as soon as her heart drops.

Is this... No... It can't be... This isn't... Oh god no.

Her hands sift through the grass again, this time with more urgency. Nobody drops a bead without dropping others and yet Max can't help but hope, plead, that this isn't the case. It's not that she doesn't want to find another bead per se, it's just that she doesn't want to find another similar bead. In fact, she fears that she'll find at least ten of these and around fifty of them if the whole thing came apart here. The first bead she's found still burns against her skin as if telling her that there's more to be found nearby. It doesn't take long before there's a second one burning memories between her fingertips.

"No? At least not in person. I've seen it in movies— no offense though. My family isn't exactly religious so I hope you don't mind me being nosy."

"It's alright. I'm always happy to share my faith. If you're that curious, would you like me to share some more?"

Her hands shake along with her hope and she feels herself crumble altogether.

There must be a mistake... I mean maybe it just got caught in a bush and she didn't notice it break. Yeah, that must be it... Please...

Max is already on her hands and knees searching for the rest of the precious beads. To her horror, she finds more, so many more. She already has enough for a decade but she still needs four more and there are still plenty more to be found. She picks them up one by one as if picking up the pieces of a memory— as if picking up the remnants of her friend.

"You don't actually need a rosary to pray the rosary. Counting fingers is enough."

"Yeah, but wouldn't that be confusing?"

"Not really. It's not that difficult to keep track of since it's mostly repetition. But it's... nice, to have something to hold onto."

Until she has so many beads that they barely fit in her hand anymore. It's like water threatening to spill.

"And you pray this everyday?"

"Yes, at home we do the family rosary after dinner. Even now that I'm at Blackwell, I can't seem to fall asleep knowing I missed praying the rosary."

And just like water, they overflow and slip through her fingers.

"Special intentions, huh. If it's alright with me asking, since you practically do this everyday, what do you offer the rosary for?"

"Let's see... I guess other than thanksgiving, there's the usual guidance for me and my family. I pray for the world and the salvation of the people. What else..."

Just like how she let Kate slip through her actions.

"Oh, and of course I pray for my friends too. You included, Max."

Max drops everything. She drops the beads that she's been holding onto too tightly as if they were her last connection to her. She drops the pieces of a memory that she can't quite fully remember because her eyes can't see anymore past the tears. She drops her heart when she sees the unnatural mound of dirt suspciously covered with leaves. She drops it all at the same time she drops to the ground. Her hands claw at the soil that falls apart too easily. She doesn't quite understand why or maybe she just but she doesn't want to acknowledge it yet. She refuses to believe in anything at this point. She's dropped everything just so she could hold enough strength to dig with her hands and she doesn't want to think on what she'll unearth just yet.

"Hey, I don't really get this stuff. No offense. I don't get religion. I don't even know what it's like to believe in a God."

Her hands dig and claw at the ground with desperation moving them despite their unusual heaviness. She's praying. Her hands clasp on dirt instead of skin but this is her praying. This is her on her knees, hands digging through dirt, praying. She prays to make things right. This is wrong. Kate missing is wrong. Rosary beads on fresh soil is wrong. Max finding more of them as she digs deeper is wrong. Everything is just so wrong that she prays that her fears are wrong.

She digs deeper. She prays harder.

"But sometimes when I see you Kate, I think I want to believe."

Digging. Max is digging with a faith second only to Kate's. How many beads has she found already? Too many— too many buried.

She digs deeper. She prays harder. Oh god, she prays so much fucking harder.

"I'm happy to hear you say that. It's okay to take your time in finding your faith, there's no rush. God is patient and understanding like that. Well a rosary might be too tedious for you to start with. But if you don't mind, would you like to join me in one short prayer?"

And then she feels it. It's cold. A metallic touch that isn't shaped like a bead. No, it's far more special than that. Far more foreboding than that.

She prays to a God that she doesn't believe in one last time.

"Dear Lord, thank you for blessing us with today."

A cross. She sees the cross first before she sees the body.

"We pray for more peaceful times like this to come."

Jesus didn't deserve to die on that cross and Kate didn't deserve to be buried here with hers.

Kate... Oh god, why... Just... Why? WHY? Why would you do this? Why would you— Why would you let this happen to her? Why? WHY KATE?

Max has never truly believed in a God but if there ever was one, she wanted to kill them for double-crossing Kate's faith.

She wants to throw up. She's already throwing up. She doesn't know which is worse, the stench of a rotting corpse or the trauma of finding out it's your friend's corpse. She throws up some more but the sickness of it all never truly goes away. It's cold. Max's skin is cold, the cross is cold, Kate is cold. Kate is cold, so fucking cold, and dead. And Max has ran out of prayers. No prayer can save Kate now at least not in this life anymore. Max prayed for her safety when in reality, she should have prayed for her soul's salvation instead.

Oh Kate... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have messed with time. I tried to make things better for you but I fucked up instead. I fucked up big time. God, I fucking killed you! I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I swear to God I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

This is all her fault. Max has seen it— has lived in it. A universe where she wakes up to an alive Kate. However, Max also chose to change that universe all because she thought she could make it better. But she didn't. She just made things worse, irrevocably worse. She thought she could play God and change the course of life and she did. She fucking killed her friend in the process. This is a nightmare, a twisted reality that she created with her own hands. No more. No more of this sick bullshit. If she created this then she can also undo it. She'll even pull off a miracle if she has to.

There's no way in hell that Max will let the day end with Kate dead.

I'm... going to make things right no matter how wrong it seems. I'll get you alive again. I'm going to fix this.

There's still dirt underneath her fingernails and the stench hasn't quite left the air she breathes when she gets back to the dormitory. Kate's death, a death she caused, still hangs over Max's conscience and it consumes her whole being. She has some special case of tunnel vision where she can't see anything else that isn't remotely related to Kate. She doesn't remember the drive here or the words Chloe said along the way. She doesn't even remember walking away from the corpse or if Chloe had pulled her sobbing form away. It doesn't matter either way. What's important is Kate and how Max is going to undo the shit she unknowingly created.

Unsurprisingly, Kate's room is locked but not for long. Max manages to steal a duplicate key from Samuel with a bit of rewinding. She almost laughs at how easy it is if not for the irony that it's her time powers that got her into this mess the first place. She can beat herself up over it later. Now she has to focus on more important matters such as saving Kate. To do that, she figured that she'll just have to do it the same way she started all of this. She doesn't waste time to ransack the place in search of the key photo.

Oh God, please be here. Please! I need that photo! I have to fix this! I have to save Kate!

The room is exactly the same as she last left it. Neat and tidy and untouched. It looks like it hasn't been used by Kate for some time and just a while ago, Max painfully found out why. She remembers the closed blinds, the pile of dirty laundry, the covered mirror— she remembers how depressing the room used to look like and how it reflected its occupant's death wish. Looking back, she'd prefer that dying room than this lively room whose occupant is dead.

Max goes through the room like a storm. She couldn't care less about tact at this point and so she carelessly ransacks through everything she can get her hands on. She's surprised when she finds The October Country safely tucked in a shelf. It seems that the Max here returned it earlier, probably on the night of the sleepover because that's when she last saw Kate. She doesn't dwell on that regret too long and instead focuses on the task at hand. Like with all the books she found, she quickly flips through the pages faced down. A photo falls out.

Oh thank God she kept it. Of course she kept it, Kate isn't one to throw away anything important. Kate... I'm coming for you.

Max clutches the photo as tight as she did with Kate on the roof. She holds it as if she's literally holding Kate's life in her hands. It might as well be. As long as she doesn't fuck this up too then Kate will ressurrect from the dead sooner than Christ's three days. Max can't afford any more fuck ups. Tears drop on the photo as her vision blurs. And she remembers, she's also trying to forget. She tries to forget the empty room and unanswered texts. She tries to forget the missing posters of her friend. She tries to forget the rotting corpse of what her friend used to be. She tries to forget the horror here. She tries to forget and leave them all down here.

She gets to leave them behind but she never truly forgets.

"So should I stay or should I go?"

ENCOURAGE HER or STOP HER

Max should have known. She never had a choice in this. She should have never chosen for Kate.

ENCOURAGE HER

"What do you think?" Max's voice doesn't quite sound like hers. It's even and holding together when in truth she's practicallly falling apart inside. There's a sledgehammer pounding inside her head and it fucking hurts like hell but she doesn't break, at least not obviously. She furiously blinks back the tears and almost chokes on the bile rising in her throat. But her voice doesn't crack and her eyes never stray. She pulls herself together just so she could fall apart after. She did this to herself. She did this to Kate. She did this mess and now she has to undo it.

"I think I might want to try something different." It comes out half-hearted. Kate sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than Max. In fact, she's the one who breaks eye contact in hesitation. "See what's all the talk about."

"Well if you made up your mind then I won't stop you." Max replies with a clenched fist behind her back, knuckles turning as white as the light seeping in from the windows and underneath the door. This may be the right choice but god it still fucking hurts.

Kate should have been happy to hear her friend's support and yet she looks even more torn. Hesitant. And Max has the hindsight of the perfect reason why Kate should be hesitant but she could never tell her. "Aren't you coming with me?" She asks and now that Max thinks about it, this may be the first time that Kate has ever relied on her on something major.

But Max turns her down a second time. "Sorry I'm a little swamped with homework right now." Lies. She'd do anything but homework after this all the while Kate gets drugged at the party. She knows there's probably a special place in hell for liars like her but she couldn't care less. She's gone past the point of caring for herself because she cares too much for Kate. If a lie is what keeps Kate alive then so be it. Max hardens her determination as she gives a well tempered apologetic smile. "But I promise I'll make it up to you on our next tea date."

It's not the reassurance that Kate would have wanted and so she deflates dejectedly. "Oh, okay then." She tries to hide her disappointment but the frown is obvious enough. It almost has Max change her mind. Almost. But then she remembers rosary beads and unanswered prayers, and Max wants nothing of that. Not again. Never again.

Alice sits in her cage facing her, maybe even glaring at her— it's unnatural. Max suspects that the rabbit knows. She's not sure if it's whether about the mistake that she did in another timeline or the mistake that she's about to let Kate make in this timeline. Either way, she feels Alice's disapproving glance and Max doesn't blame the rabbit. She'd hate her too.

The photo is collapsing in on itself and the colors swarm menacingly close.

"Kate, wait." Max reaches for her hand without thinking.

"Yes?" Kate looks up with shining eyes, expectant, hopeful. She patiently waits for Max to speak as they stare at each other with an intensity that wasn't there before. Max opens her mouth.

Don't get caught on camera. Don't drink anything. Don't stay there too long. Don't leave me.

Don't go.

"Be careful." Max finally says and her voice almost cracks at the end. Almost. Had she said more then maybe it would have cracked but she hadn't. Two words is all she could push past her choking throat. It's the most that she's allowed herself to tell. It's the most she could tell without falling apart. So she cracks but she doesn't break into pieces. She feels like she's already been broken anyways.

"I always am." Kate's smile is soft and warm just like her hand when she places it on top of Max's. It takes all of Max's willpower just to not break down and cry from that. She's about to abandon this Kate to a party that will ruin her life but Max has to because devastation is better than death. This Kate can smile now because she has no idea of the horror to come. "Besides, it's just a party. It's going to be lonely without you though."

Max is falling apart and so does this memory framed by her photo.

"You have no reason to feel alone... at the party." Max holds on to both of Kate's hands with the intention of never letting go. She can hear the cracks starting to form in her voice, she can see the splotches of color threatening her vision, she can feel the headache hammering inside her head. She just holds onto Kate tighter even if only for a little while longer. "Even when you feel like the world is against you, I'll always have your back. No matter what happens, I'm on your side." No matter the place or time, Max will always be there for her. A constant. A partner. A friend. "Kate, I'll always be your friend. Forever."

She wants to hold on and never let go but reality pulls her apart.

I'm sorry... Stay strong, Kate.

The world collapses in on itself and Max can feel herself getting catapulted across time once again. This time feels even worse because she feels her head just about ready to explode. She thinks it might be because now she was two sets of memories fighting inside her head. Whatever the reason, it still hurts like hell. Time passes without her control or consciousness and events are overwritten in a flurry. Reality changes to match her memories and so there are now photos to go with them. It's still all too much for her to handle as the pain reaches its peak and she swears she feels like she's dying. And just when she thinks she's about to die— the pain subsides in an instant.

When she comes to, she's back in her room.

For a moment she worries that she may have done something wrong. Fear kicks her heart into erratic beats inside her chest. Is she supposed to be back in her own room? She was just inside Kate's room now and even in the alternate timeline before that she was there. Granted she did start this whole thing inside her own room so maybe this is proof that she undid everything and she's back at the start. Maybe. She's not sure. It's not definitive proof. Kate. She has to check up on Kate. She has to get up and confirm for herself if Kate is alive but she doesn't. She can't. In her head she wants to but her body refuses to move a single inch. Then she realizes that it's actually her head refusing her body because as much as she wants to confirm Kate's safety, she's terrified of finding out otherwise.

Her heart beats faster, trying to outrun the paralysis that's gripped over her body. Did she do it? Did she actually undo it? Did Kate make it alive? Max hopes, pleads, that this is the case. The memory of that cross is still buried shallow and her mind digs it up like it can't bury. Her vision swims and when she closes her eyes, she sees the sunset all over again. She sees forest by the lighthouse and rosary beads glistening in the grass. She sees the cross sticking out of the soft soil and a body that doesn't belong there. She sees the horror clearly even on the back of her eyelids. She doesn't want to see it anymore. She opens her eyes to find herself back in her room. And that's when she sees her.

"Kate!" Max jumps off the bed and tackles her unsuspecting friend into a bear hug. Warm. Kate feels warm and alive. Max finds that no other warmth has soothed her like this. When she feels Kate's heart pumping out life, she doesn't even hold back her tears anymore. She breathes her in, grateful that the stench of rotting corpse is just a memory and reality smells more like chamomile. Her favorite. She holds her tighter and nuzzles deeper. She's crying but she's also smiling in relief. "I'm so happy that you're here! I thought I would never see you."

"Me too." Kate reciprocates the hug but more loosely. If Max was suffocating her, she didn't mind. Now that Max thinks about it, Kate is the one who needs more comfort now based on their last interaction and yet Max can't help but feel the comforted one in this. Kate even pats her back lightly, reassuringly, and hums as if everything in the world is alright. Max desperately wants to think it is but it is far from it. But with Kate holding her like this, Max thinks that at least some things are right. "But you're overreacting. We made up a while ago, remember?"

"Yeah, I know." Not really. Max has no recollection of that whatsoever just like her earlier time skip. But that's good to know that they're okay again. She sniffles and tightens her hold. "I forget sometimes. I just really missed you." The room is bathed in an orange glow but not in the splotches she last saw. Is it already sunset here too? Just how much did she miss? She wipes her eyes before she shyly asks, "Is there anything else that happened a while ago that I should remember?"

"You sound... out of it. Are you okay? Did something happen?" Kate looks at her with a worried face. "Did you get another vision?"

"No, just a bad dream." Max shakes her head. When she looks back she sees Kate still unconvinced so she continues, "I promise. It's just a nightmare I got for dozing off."

"Max, I only had my back turned for five minutes at most." Kate points out with growing suspicion.

"I'm just really tired?" Max offers as an excuse. It's kind of true though because her head is still recovering from her worst migraine to date.

"I guess you would be..." Kate gradually concedes to that with an understanding look. "We did cover a lot today."

"We did?" Max blurts out and before she could ask any more, she sees what she thinks that Kate is talking about. "Wowsers. That's a LOT. Other Max sure is productive."

"Other Max?" Kate raises an eyebrow at her slip of the tongue. "Max, is there another power that I should know of?"

"Oh, don't mind me. I'm kind of still out of it from that nightmare." Max nonchalantly brushes off the accusation, hoping that her friend wouldn't ask too much.

Kate looks like she's onto Max but she doesn't pursue. Max looked absolutely exhausted and she had every right to be. Kate thinks that maybe Max is pushing herself too hard and that worries her. "Are you really okay?"

Max opens her mouth, ready to say another white lie. But there was something in the way Kate looks at her that brings out the truth from Max's lips. "No. Not really." She slowly leans forward until their foreheads touch, not a falter in her voice. Never breaking eye contact with Kate. "But now that I see you, I think I'll be just fine."

"I think so too." There's a tender smile on her lips. Kate gently tilts her head forward just until their noses bump. An eskimo kiss. Neither of them blink. "When I see you, I think that I will be okay eventually. You give me hope, Max."

"And you are my hope, Kate." Max says unspoken when she holds onto Kate with the intention of never letting go.

They stay like for a while. Seconds maybe minutes pass, they can't tell. In this moment, time is irrelevant. It's as if only the two of them exist in this world and Max thinks that that's more than enough for a universe that she'd want to live in. She lives here with Kate in this moment in time. She lives for quiet moments like this. She lives to capture them and immortalize these fleeting peaceful times. Her hand reaches for the camera beside her and neither of them blink at the flash. When the photo develops, it's not quite as she pictures this moment. It's framing is sloppy and it's a bit out of focus. It's—

"Perfect." Max says out loud as she admires the authenticity of the photo. Beside her, she hears Kate voice out her agreement. This photo is definitely for keeps.

It's not the best photo, far from it in fact, but it could be the best memory. Best memory so far anyways. They still have a future ahead of them and many more memories to make. But for now, they have this. This photo. This memory. This moment. This bond.

"You know I love you, right?" Max speaks up with a softness that sounds louder from the sheer sincerity in her voice.

"I love you too, Max." Kate answers readily with the same tenderness if not more.

Max dips her head so she could place it atop Kate's shoulder. "I'm so happy that you're still here." She hugs her tighter, less desperate and more affectionate.

Kate reciprocates the embrace and even slightly leans her head on top of Max's. They share a content breath. Even though Max can't see it, she can certainly hear the smile in Kate's voice. "Good because you're one of the reasons that made me stay."

Max may have made some mistakes today but if she's learned anything it's that— if given a choice, she would always choose Kate. Always.

---

A/N At first I was considering the alternate timeline would be one where Kate had jumped but then again I realized that there's nothing quite like the trauma of having to dig up the corpse of your loved one :)

I don't know when the next update is because an investigation chapter(s) will cover so much and I want it to be as engaging as it can be even though we all know the end result. This 25k chapter took me a month okay and it ended up twice as long than what I was shooting for. Tentatively it'll be posted either next month or not at all. I just really wanted to write THIS SUFFERING so I might skip to the next one. Who knows? Maybe the next chapter will have you jump straight into a fresh hell of a nightmare sequence. And then I throw in a comfort blanket for all of us to snuggle in because this is still a Kate fic and I love her.

Moving on, I actually want two endings so 1)life is unfair and max has to sacrifice kate and we all bawl over spanish sahara all over again 2)they actually go through this rationally and figure out how to save the town from the storm and kate lives (listen, you don't stop a storm, you get people away from it). I guess those are two chapters that I'll probably never have the time to write but we'll see.

In the meantime, you can read my oneshot Digging Like You Can't Bury as a placeholder chapter for the ending. I hope you enjoyed this and I guess you could drop a comment on which ending you prefer and why I should write it. Laters!