Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil, Barney, or Fruits Basket!

Chapter 3

Ashley Gets Hit In The Face With A Wooden Plank

Leon woke up and realized it was all a dream. He got another transmission.

" Leon," said Hunnigan. " It's been six hours since pur last transmission. I was starting to get worried.

" Don't you mean lonely?" said Leon.

Hunnigan was about to hang up, but again, Leon kept talking.

" I passed out. And then I had a dream that I turned into the Hulk."

" Maybe that's what the village chief was talking about," said Hunnigan.

" Who's that?" asked Leon. Hunnigan hung up this time.

Leon then went through a large door when a ganado came towards him. Only this time, the zombie started acting like Leon when he has extra sour lemon candies.

" AAAHHH!" Leon screamed like the schoolgirl he really is. " HE'S GOING TO TURN INTO THAT GIRL FROM THE RING!"

Instead, a parasite popped out of his head.

" DIE RING GIRL!!!" He shot the gross looking thing.

He kept walking until he saw a bunch of water running through large wooden structures.

" I didn't know this place had a Soak City," he said as he climbed down. He shot some boxes, jumped over them, then came to a lever.

" I don't think I should attempt to pull anything…" Leon said, remembering Raccoon City.

Back in 1998

Leon and Claire are walking down an alley. Claire was very annoyed with Leon and his apparent obsession with Barney the stupid dinosaur.

" And then he said to me, if you just believe-" Leon was cut off.

" LEON!" yelled Claire. " Will you just be quiet?"

" Can we play a game?" he asked.

Suddenly Claire thought of a way for him to shut his mouth.

" Hey Leon," she said. " Pull my finger."

" Okay!" said the rookie cop.

And you can pretty much guess what happened after that.

Present

He pulled the lver anyway.

Leon dould now see a path through the waterfall. He went through it, dissapointed there was no Pacific Spin, and got the Round Insignia. On his way back, he came across a bunch of ganados trying to pull something heavy. Leon thought it was a giant stuffed Barney, but it turned out to be a big fat giant. It killed all of the ganados. Leon just stared at it.

" I think I'll name you Jibbly," he said. That made the fat giant mad as he tried to kick Leon.

" Bad Jibbly!" he yelled and killed it with a rocket launcher. That's when the dog he saved earlier gave Leon 150000 pestas for saving him.

As he made his way to the church, Leon saw a bunch of evil dogs. He decided to name them all Kyo, like the guy from Fruits Basket, because Kyo is a really cool name.

" Bad Kyo!" he yelled and killed them all. He then used his half brain to get inside the church with the Round Insignia. After climbing up ladder and solving a colorful puzzle, He finally got to a door and, with all the power and brains he had, opened it.

" Ashley!" he said

" Don't come!"

Ashley picked up a wodden plank and threw it at at Leon's face. However, Leon's cat-like reflexes caught it, then threw it back at her. It smacked Ashley on the face and gave her a bruise.

" Great. Now I have to put on more cover-up," she said.

" I'm Leon. The President of Canada- I mean the US- sent me here to get you."

" What? My father?" she said.

" No. Your grandma stupid," said Leon. " Yes your father!"

As they continued on, they saw an old guy in a dress.

" I'll take the girl," he said.

" ASHLEY'S A GIRL?!" asked a surprised Leon.

" I am Osmund Saddler," said Osmund Saddler.

The old guy e then explained the eggs and the parasited and everything I don't feel like typing. That's when two ganados with dresses shot arrows at them. Luckily, there was a conviently placed window that they jumped out of.

" Leon, what's gonna happen to us?" asked a scared but stupid Ashley.

" We're probably gonna die," replied Leon.