A/N: Hello and welcome to another chapter of craziness mwuahahaha! I would like to thank the following for alerting, faving, and especially their AWESOME reviews:

Taker-took-my-Toys, Hobohunter, Shadowno, cjjs, RevolutionZwei, death wish girl, Divine Arion, Stardust4, Afro Spirit, rainfox88, Zombiegirl2007, Trippyfalls, moonbeam1987, JesseZombie, Special K Man, and aquacrow! Thanks so much guys and lovely gals, you so ROCK! Hugs to all of you!

I'd also like to thank the following for alerting and faving:

WhiteWolfIce, Huen, Lime Rickey, and Fangedfrog! I appreciate it very much! Hugs! Enjoy!

Diclaimer: Property of Capcom except for the mysterious fangirl known as Sam XD.

Chapter 3

The door slammed shut followed by a series of locks clicking and deadbolts bolting. Wesker let out a deep sigh as he leaned his back against the door, he felt safe being in the comfort of his own home. He was also relieved to have made it home without having to run into any fangirl mishaps that involved Sam. He didn't get all those locks and a fancy, expensive security system for nothing. It was for fangirls like Sam to stay out, although he wondered if there were other fans who were willing to break into his home just to gawk at his lovely ass.

With a swift clap of his hands, every light in the house came on. Throwing his keys and the videotape on the living room table, he made his way to the bathroom peeling the layers of his STARS uniform off one by one revealing his beautifully aged, well toned and very well in doubt, sculpted to perfection body. What he needed was a nice warm bubble bath to take his mind away from the mysterious fangirl.

Back at the Station

"Thats weird, the captain went home already and where the hell is Barry?"

"Barry must have left the same time as Wesker and Joseph. I know he said he had some paperwork to do earlier," Jill answered.

"We should head home also. We'll just come in early tomorrow morning and interrogate the suspect, I'm sure the suspect wont mind," Chris said while patting Jill on the back.

"Alright, but I feel like we're forgetting something. Something important," Jill said as they left the STARS office.

Barry, who was still under his desk, heard them leave. He couldn't believe that the videotape he worked so hard to get was gone and of all people to have it, it had to the captain. He pulled a bag of donut holes from his coat pocket and started to devour them one by one. He crouched into fetal position, rocking back and forth while mumbling and shouting the word donut every now and then.

RPD Parking Lot

Brad whistled his way to the station while holding a box of freshly made flyers advertising the yearly Raccoon City Police Department Halloween Charity Dance.

"Loooonely. I'm soooo lonely. I have nobody to call my ooooown-"

"What the hell? Who's there?" Brad's eyes widened as they darted left and right. The singing continued followed by a muffled tapping. By now, Brad stopped dead in his tracks looking at the police cruiser right in front of him. He knocked lightly on the trunk. The trunk knocked back.

"HOLY SHIT BALLS! DEMON CAR!" he yelled while crossing his fingers to make a cross sign then turning to run.

Wesker's Place

The aroma of popcorn filled the air as Wesker eyed the videotape, curious as to what was on it. Maybe it was just an old movie or maybe it was someone's sex tape he could make copies of and sell so the profits would benefit his world domination plan. He put the movie into the vcr and pressed play. Rubbing his hands together, he grabbed his bowl of popcorn and placed a handfull into his mouth.

What is this?

Wesker watched while trying to remember where he had seen the room before.

Krispy...Kremes? Who is that?

He was shocked at the display right in front of him in his living room on the tv screen. . He couldn't believe it, he started to choke on a piece of popcorn. The events that had led them to Krispy Kremes played out and who was in the middle of it all?

"Baaarrrrry," Wesker hissed while trying desperately to cough up the piece of popcorn that he was choking on. Not only would Barry suffer the consequences of todays events, he would suffer mostly for making the captain choke on popcorn.

RPD, Early the next morning

"Good morning Jill, are you ready to-"

Before Chris could finish Jill cut him off.

"Chris? Where is our suspect?"

"He should be in the holding-"

"Uh, no Chris! Try again," Jill cut him off once again. "Tell me he's not in the trunk of our cruiser still."

"Psssh. No-oo!"

They both looked at eachother for a while and within seconds they quickly made their way to the police cruiser they shared. Chris popped the trunk and as soon as he did, Steve jumped out screaming, hands cuffed behind his back.

"HELP! Somebody, anybo-oomph!"

Jill's arm shot out close lining Steve. He flew in a one hundred and eighty degree angle, legs flailing about and landed with a loud smack on the concrete floor. Chris cringed at the whole sight.

"I felt that one!" he said as he stood over Steve. "You just got knocked the fu-"

"Chris! You can't say that, this is a T-rated fic."

"I was going to say knocked the fudge out," Chris said as he threw Steve over his shoulder, heading for the interrogation room.

Ten minutes and a very groggy Steve later

The room was dark except for the bright light that shined in Steve's face. He struggled to get up and noticed he was strapped to the chair with duct tape.

"Okay donut punk! Where were you yesterday at approximately seven thrity two a.m. you son of a donut hole bard? Huh? Huh!" Chris glanced over his shoulder, grinning at Jill. "Get it Jill, donut hole, ass-hole? Ha-ha."

Jill rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"W-w-what? I w-w-was-"

A loud smack filled the room, leaving Steve to moan in pain.

"Wrong answer jerk! We know exactly where you were, you donut freak!" Chris yelled while grabbing a handful of Steve's hair. "Now listen here you piece of-"

"Wait Chris, I thought I was playing the bad cop," Jill protested.

"You are but I want a piece of the action too, Jilly."

"This is p-p-police b-brutality!"

"Oh, I'll show you police brutality, donut eating ass munch!" Chris said while pulling Steve's red locks and smacking him at the same time.

"Oooowww!"

"Chris, let go of his hair and stop smacking him."

"This isn't an ordinary slap, its a bitch slap."

"I d-d-didn't do i-it."

"Hmm, looks like we're going to have to do this the hard way," Jill said, cracking her knuckles. Steve's eyes widened as Jill closed in on him.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Wesker passed by the interrogation room and heard the screaming. Poor bastard, he thought to himself. He turned the corner, on his way to the STARS office when suddenly he came to a screeching halt. Standing at 5'1", her brown hair drizzled with blonde highlights that came down to her shoulders. She wore a dark purple adidas track suit that highlighted every curve of her body and a pair of adidas sneakers. She didn't dress like that for nothing, no! Sam knew that it was like a marathon when pursuing her "target". Wesker backed up slowly, tip toeing, trying to slip away unnoticed.

"There you are! Where are you going? Alby!"

Wesker wasted no time, he ran as fast as his muscular legs and glorious hiney could take him. Sam just giggled and started to stretch.

"Yoooohooo, aren't you happy to see me Wesky?" she said in a sing song voice and took off after him.

No matter how many times Wesker tried to lose Sam in the station, it failed each time. He even climbed the emergency ladder and sh was already on the top before he got there. There she was, closing in behind him, her hand reaching out to grab him. As soon as she was close enough, she pounced on him. The captain went down with Sam on top of him hugging him with her death grip, giggling.

"Alby, why must you be a naughty boy? Running away like that! Someone wants a spanking," she said while smacking his behind and getting up. Helping the captain to his feet, she picked him up bridal style. For her height, she was amazingly strong. "I'll take you to your office tee-hee-hee."

They made their way to the STARS office earning bizarre looks and laughs from everyone. Painful howling came from the interrogation room as they passed by it. Finally making it to the office, Sam lowered Wesker into his seat.

"I'll be back later for you later Alby, you promised some fangirl service. Don't make me round up the girls, I'm sure you don't want that. Tee-hee."

With that, she left waving at Barry, who was yes! still under his desk, on the way out. Wesker sat in his chair, eyes wide behind his dark sunglasses not blinking once. He had to find a way out of this or he'd have fangirls galore after him.

Last time, Sam dressed him in bright pink pajamas with little neon green Tyrants all over, matching sunglasses that were pink rimmed with green lenses, and furry Licker slippers. Everytime he took a step the furry Licker's long tongue would dart out and retract after. Sam thought it was....cute. No! He wouldn't go through that again. Not this time. Not ever.

A/N: I hope you all had fun reading this chapter, I don't want to lose you guys and gals to a long and maybe not so funny chapter lol . I had fun writing "Sam's" part though. She is based on a real fangirl and also known as the lovely and very talented writer, Divine Arion. Her awesome RE Saga's are to die for! A big thanks to her for letting me tort- I mean use her in this fic, I'm not done with you yet Sammy mwuahaha!

ROLL CALL! I'm looking for Wesker fangirls or guys who would like to be thrown into the craziness, apply within XD! Oh and if you are a fan of anyone else and I mean ANYONE, that works too. Thank you so much for reading, yall are the best! Until next time! Review? Please? ^_^