27 November, 1812: the day after the ball - Part 1
Jane Bennet did not sleep. She lay in silent contemplation for an hour, until she could be sure Elizabeth was fast asleep, then rose and dressed in warm clothes and sturdy boots. Elizabeth was the Bennet sister known for her long rambles throughout the neighbourhood, but with sufficient motivation, Jane could match her abilities on foot. She set out at a steady stride across the paddocks towards Netherfield.
It was not so muddy as on that morning Elizabeth had come to tend her cold, but it was quite muddy enough for Jane's taste: crossing the stiles required care to avoid stepping into puddles, and the long wet grass dragged at her hems. This was not a morning she would normally have chosen for a walk, but Jane was not bent on pleasure. This stroll had a definite purpose.
It was three miles to Netherfield Park, and by the time she got there, the sky was brightening. If any had seen Jane, they might have thought her a wood nymph: her complexion was brightened by the exercise, and by the cold morning air, and she walked into the kitchen garden with a confidence borne of determination.
Entering the kitchen, luck was with her. Mrs Nicholls was already bustling about, directing her staff in preparation for the departure of the master and his party, and planning the clean-up after the ball. Mrs Nicholls had known Jane since she was a babe and knew her to be the very best young lady in Hertfordshire: genteel, considerate, and kind to a fault. If Miss Jane Bennet turned up in her kitchen at cock crow, she must have a very good reason for doing so, and Mrs Nicholls would do what she could to help.
A quiet conversation between the two women was followed by Mrs Nicholls leading Miss Bennet into the master's study, where she was asked to wait, while the housekeeper fetched Mr Bingley. Jane sat anxiously by the unlit fire. She had asked to see the master, without disclosing the topic. She could only hope that he would not balk at such a meeting: it was, to say the least, an unusual request.
Twenty minutes later Charles Bingley entered the room. He had asked to be woken early, as he and Darcy were to travel to London today, but his man had shaken him from sleep a full hour before he expected: apparently, a neighbour had turned up requesting an audience. It must be something urgent for them to call at such an hour, so Bingley rushed to dress and make his way downstairs, wondering which of the neighbouring gentlemen he would find waiting – his man had been in such a rush that he had forgotten to name the visitor.
His shock was complete on finding Miss Jane Bennet alone in his study.
Jane stood and curtseyed. "Good morning sir. I thank you for seeing me at such short notice."
Bingley, recovering his composure somewhat, offered a bow. "Good morning, Miss Bennet. It is a surprise to see you again so soon."
"I can only imagine what you must think of me, sir, to call on you alone and at such an hour. However last night I overheard your sisters mention that you were unlikely to return to Netherfield after tomorrow, so I knew this would be my last chance to tell you something rather important. I hope you will overlook the impropriety."
"Miss Bennet, do not distress yourself. You are always welcome at Netherfield Park. I must tell you, though, that my sisters are quite mistaken – I plan to be back again before the end of the week. But you are here now, so please take a seat and tell me what is so important."
They both sat, rather awkwardly, facing each other across the cold fireplace. Jane took a deep breath and began the words she had rehearsed all night and on the walk from Longbourn. "I realise this is most untoward, but I found I could not let you leave under a misapprehension."
Bingley realised immediately that the lady had come to let him down gently. It was typical of her gentle and generous nature that she would risk her own reputation for the sake of helping him overcome his unrequited affection. She could not know that he had gone beyond admiration and was now lost in the deepest love. Her well-intentioned words could only hurt, but he would do everything he could to protect her from the pain of knowing she had broken his heart. With a shaky breath, he said quietly, "I will listen to whatever you have to tell me, madam."
Jane immediately perceived his uneasiness, but she was determined to say what justice demanded. If she was not to see Mr Bingley again, at least let them part without the regret of never having spoken openly.
"Be not alarmed, sir. I come with no expectations, and do not wish to cause you any sorrow. It is merely that I learned last night that you may be unaware of the high regard I have for you, and I did not want you to leave before I had the opportunity to assure you that my affections are engaged, sir."
Bingley could do nothing but stare. Was she saying what he thought she was? He had spent a restless night grieving over the fact that Jane Bennet did not care for him. Could he have been wrong? But if she liked him, why had she been so solemn during their last dance? Perhaps he was jumping to conclusions again. Was she telling him her affections were engaged elsewhere? He was too confused – half agony, half hope – to form a coherent sentence. Instead, he waited, willing her to speak on.
Jane felt immensely foolish. She had bared her heart to the man she loved, and he sat there looking like she had slapped him with a fish. He clearly did not reciprocate her feelings, and she could not help but blush deeply as she was overcome with mortification. "I am sorry, Mr Bingley. I did not wish to embarrass you, yet I see that I have. I do not expect you to return my affections. It is only that I worried I might have been too reserved for you to discover my true feelings, and it would be foolish for us to part if we both felt the same way. But the last thing I would want is to marry a man who does not hold me in affection, so I ask that you do me the kindness of forgetting that this conversation ever happened."
While she spoke, Bingley's mind was most busy, and, with all the wonderful velocity of thought, had been able - and yet without losing a word - to catch and comprehend the exact truth of the whole; to see that his fears had been entirely groundless, a mistake, a delusion - that there was no other man who held Miss Bennet's heart; that he was everything himself; that his agitation, his doubts, his unhappiness at the thought of losing her, had been all received by Jane as discouragement from himself. And not only was there time for these convictions, with all their glow of attendant happiness; there was time also to rejoice that he had waited to hear her out before speaking himself. What foolishness he might have spouted had he spoken in the belief that she was indifferent to him!
But now, speak he must, and speak he did.
"My dear Miss Bennet. I agree that all misunderstandings should be at an end between us. I had indeed feared that you did not care for me as strongly as I care for you, but I may now assure you in the strongest terms that I receive your assurances of affection with the greatest pleasure, and have only to add that I also hold you in the strongest regard."
Fixing her gaze with his earnest look, he sank to one knee before her and raised her right hand to hold against his heart, as he continued: "Miss Bennet … Jane … only the belief that I could not win your love could ever have kept me from your side. Now that I know you are not indifferent, do I ask too much … is it too soon for me to express my most ardent love and admiration? Could you … would you accept my hand in marriage? I can imagine nothing better than passing through life with you at my side, and nothing worse than living out my days without you. Dear Jane, will you be my wife?"
To move so swiftly from despair to happiness was more than Jane knew how to bear, and tears flowed freely down her face as she stood, and pulled Bingley to his feet in front of her, without releasing his hand. "Yes, Mr Bingley, I will marry you," she said, with a tremulous smile. "I love you so very dearly, and could not bear the thought of you going away without knowing it."
"Oh, Jane! You were so serious during our last dance that I thought you did not wish to encourage me. I was heartbroken at the thought of leaving you. I am so very happy that you decided to visit me this morning!"
"If I was solemn, it was only because I was forming the determination to tell you what I felt. It is not at all ladylike, you know, to tell a gentleman that you admire him: that falls to the gentleman's lot. Yet that is hardly fair. How is a man to know that his feelings are reciprocated if young ladies are always as demure and well behaved as we ought to be? And if we are not, then what gentleman is going to respect us? I am no flirt, sir, and could see no way forward but to speak plainly. You can imagine, I am sure, why such a prospect may have given me a distracted air!"
"Oh beloved Jane, never was a better resolution formed. I may have been confused about your feelings yesterday evening, but I am now completely enlightened, and the joy of the morning is worth ten times any confusion and anxiety I have suffered." Bingley was nearly bouncing with delight, and his thoughts turned to the fact that he and Miss Jane Bennet were alone, perhaps for the last time before they married. Holding both her hands in his, he bid, "Jane, dear Jane, may I kiss you?"
Jane blushed again, but gathering her courage, stepped a little closer to her beloved and raised her lips to his.
It was then that the study door swung open and Fitzwilliam Darcy stepped into the room.
After a moment of surprised silence, Darcy and Bingley spoke at once. Darcy began an apology for interrupting, but Bingley stepped forward eagerly to grasp his friend's hand in an enthusiastic handshake, saying "You must be the first to congratulate us, Darcy. Miss Bennet and I are to be married."
Darcy was not slow to understand the scene he had discovered, and any other pronouncement would have been unthinkable in the circumstances. He was relieved to see an equal joy on the lady's face as that gracing Bingley's countenance: he must have misread her level of interest in his friend, and he had never been happier to be wrong. Miss Bennet's family was still far from ideal, but she herself was a gentlewoman of impeccable manners and a happy temperament. Indeed, Bingley's links to trade were much closer than her own, and her father's standing would help to raise him to the status of landed gentleman that he aspired to.
Really, seeing them so happy together, he could not imagine Bingley with anyone else but the lady beside him. They seemed perfectly matched, although they were both of such an easy disposition that they were sure to be constantly taken in by servants and relatives alike! His task as guide and counsel to his younger friend clearly would still be necessary. But he could not begrudge Bingley his happiness.
"Congratulations, my friend. And to you as well, Miss Bennet. I see you have discovered what a fine fellow Charles is, and I am sure you will never have cause to regret your choice." Darcy said all that was proper, and shook Bingley's hand firmly. But he could not help think of the rumours that might run if they were discovered by the staff, or, God forbid, by Bingley's sisters. How could they explain Miss Bennet's presence at Netherfield at such an hour? Clearly, the new couple were too caught up in the moment to consider such things, so it fell to him to remind them.
"Charles, I do not know how Miss Bennet came to be here alone so early, let alone without a chaperone, but it might be best for you to look to protecting her reputation from impertinent speculation. Should we not go immediately to Longbourn? We could deliver you home, Miss Bennet, before the household here becomes aware of your visit, and Bingley, you could take the opportunity to speak to Mr Bennet. The carriage is ready to take us to London, so all we need to do is get you out the front without being noticed, and we can whisk you back to Longbourn in no time."
Jane saw the sense of this advice. Some of the staff were already aware of her presence, but they were people she had known since childhood, and her reputation would suffer no damage at their hands. Bingley's sisters, however, were another matter. After what she had overheard in the early hours of the morning, she had no illusions about their attitude to her and her family. She did not want this day of all days to be ruined by the reaction of her future sisters-in-law to the news. Nor did she trust them not to spread malicious gossip, even about their brother's betrothed.
Bingley, however, was confused. "I had hoped to tell my sisters the good news before we set off, Darcy. I cannot bear to keep such happiness from them. I know they think highly of Jane, and will be delighted for us both."
Darcy rolled his eyes, and was searching for a polite way to discourage his friend from such a disclosure, when to his surprise, Miss Bennet spoke, displaying a firmness of purpose that pleased Darcy and gave him hope that his friend's betrothed would prove to have a stronger mettle than he had heretofore noticed. It seemed, after all, that there were several aspects of Miss Bennet's character that Darcy had quite misread.
"Mr Bingley, I have good reason to think that Caroline and Louisa will both be opposed to the match. Last evening I overheard them speaking – it was quite unintentional, I assure you: they were walking through the foyer and speaking quite loudly, while Lizzy and I were in the vestibule. I could not help but hear what was said. Caroline was determined to follow you to town and convince you not to return. She laughed at the idea that you thought me indifferent, but was determined to use that argument, together with the suspicion that I was a fortune-hunter, to persuade you to keep away. They do not think me good enough for you, for which I do not fault them, but I cannot forgive their plan to use deliberate lies to separate us. It was hearing your sisters' plans that gave me the courage to come here this morning. If we were to be parted, for my own peace of mind, I could not let it be on the basis of lies and uncertainty.
"So I beg of you, do not tell your sisters today. Let this be a test of their affection for you. If they follow you to town, even though you have told them you will be back in three days, you will know they intend to persuade you against me. If they tell you I am indifferent, or that I would marry you without love, then you will know that they value their own happiness above yours. You know the truth about me now, and I would have you know the truth about your sisters. This is another misunderstanding that cannot be allowed to stand between us. If I am right, you will know your sisters' true nature a little better. If I am wrong, then I will be most happy to learn that their affection for you has overcome any temporary misgivings they may have had about me."
That Bingley doubted this view of his sisters' duplicity was apparent. That he was ready to accede to almost anything Miss Bennet might ask of him was equally obvious. "My dear Jane, I hope most earnestly that you have mistaken my sisters, but for your ease of mind, I will do as you ask. I will visit your father this morning, as I could not go to town without knowing that I have secured your hand. Darcy and I will then make haste to London and return as soon as possible. I fear it may be five days instead of three, as I must add a visit to my solicitor while I am there, in order to have the settlement papers drawn up, and then it will be Sunday. I will say nothing to my sisters until my return, although you and your father must agree to secrecy if you do not want my sisters to hear of it from neighbourhood gossip in the meantime! No later than next Monday, you can expect me on your doorstep, ready to cry the news of our engagement for all the world to hear."
Jane could not but be pleased by this speech. It displayed a gratifying concern for her comfort, and a delightful eagerness to return to her side as soon as possible. She smiled happily at her betrothed, saying, "Well, then, let us make haste. Mrs Nicholls knows that I am here – she can be trusted. Perhaps she might help us depart with little notice from others?"
Darcy felt decidedly de trop. The two lovers were gazing fondly into each other's eyes with such blatant affection that he could not now recall how he might ever have thought Miss Bennet indifferent to his friend. The intimacy of the moment made him feel as though he were intruding, yet he could not help but notice how the look of open affection on the lady's face made her eyes sparkle, and revealed a similarity to her second sister that he had not previously noted. Oh, what he would give to have Miss Elizabeth look at him like that!
Darcy blushed, and turned away. He could not allow his thoughts to run in that direction. Better to make himself useful, and concentrate on the practicalities of their travel arrangements. He left to find Mrs Nicholls and request that a basket be prepared that they might break their fast in the carriage. He quietly explained that they also sought to assist Miss Bennet to return home without garnering further attention. The housekeeper was a willing co-conspirator, and the three were soon in a carriage heading to Longbourn, before any other members of the household awoke.
Copyright © 2018 by Margaret Gale