Nuova Luna

New Moon, Alice's Story

Author: Arwens-light

Chapter 3: The Drive to Denali

Rating: T (Rating may vary by chapter)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns all

NO copyright infringement intended

We drove all night, most of it in silence. Jasper's grip on the steering wheel was firm and steady, but his eyes were under shadow. He rarely looked at me while we were driving. His control on his guilt would slip sometimes and I would be submerged into the sinking waters of anxiety and guilt.

We passed over the Canadian-US border barely two hours after leaving Forks. However, an hour into British Columbia, Jasper turned east instead of continuing north. Over the next couple days, we drove south and east through Canada, never turning back west. We only stopped for gas and to quiet our thirst. Several times I tried to bring up turning back toward Denali, but Jasper would just shake his head and keep his foot firmly pressed down on the accelerator.

It was the middle of the afternoon and the sun was slowly beginning to crawl toward the horizon line behind us. I was listening to a Quebec radio station, lost in the wonder of the French tongue and how it caressed and made love to each lyric and note of the song, when I was pulled out of the present and flung into a future Edward had decide on.

He was standing several feet away from her, his gaze avoiding hers. Bella stood awkwardly in front of him, her lips quivering. Finally, Edward stepped toward Bella and pulled her to him. He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering on her warm skin, and then he ran.

"Oh…" I had seen the look on Bella's face before the vision ended. Disbelief displayed itself the strongest, along with hurt and heart-aching pain, but it was the acceptance that hit me the hardest. Even after all this time, she still could not realize how much they belonged together, how they were equal parts in a twisted romance.

I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder. I blinked and looked around at my surroundings. Jasper had pulled the car onto the shoulder when he noticed that I had been taken by a vision. He looked at me, concern etched in his beautiful face.

"It's Bella," I explained quietly, "Edward's going to leave her."

He frowned, but nodded. We had known this moment was coming. "Will she be alright?" Jasper asked me.

I bowed my head and closed my eyes. The event hadn't happened quite yet. Until it occurred and Bella was given a chance to take action, I would not be able to see her future. "I don't know," I whispered. But I couldn't imagine that she could be alright, not after everything that had happened.

My hand immediately reached for my cell phone. I dialed Edward's number and waited impatiently for him to answer.

There was a soft click on the other end of the phone.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Alice." His voice was dull. Flat. Emotionless. So like Edward to keep his true feelings hidden inside.

"I saw. Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

"It's the only way."

Silence. I glanced at Jasper. His eyes were still focused on the road ahead of us, his brow furrowed. I sighed. I knew there was absolutely nothing I could say to change Edward's mind.

"Alright," I said slowly. "Just give me a day or two and I can come back to say goodbye."

"No, Alice." My brother's voice was steady and commanding.

I frowned. "What do you mean, 'No, Alice'?"

Edward's sigh came heavily through the receiver. "Alice… Bella can't have a long, lingering goodbye. The sooner and shorter, with as few people as possible, the better."

I felt Jasper's hand slid into mine. I bit my lip. I still didn't agree with Edward. Stop cold turkey? Some people could handle that kind of quitting practice. I wasn't sure Bella was the type who would ever get over an addition like Edward.

"Fine," I finally replied.

"And no contact after it's done."

"What? Edward, come on! That's unreasonable for you think –"

"Alice, please! This is the best way – the only way this can happen. Please…" His last word was almost desperate. His grief was slowly wearing him down.

I had to concede; what other option was there?
"Okay, Edward. I promise."

The phone went dead.

I slowly closed the small silver phone and slid it back into my bag. I glanced over at my stoic husband.

Jasper was silent, staring at the black stretch of asphalt before us.

I studied my husband, the deep furrow in his brow and harshness of his eyes, as he contemplated different strategies. "Jasper?" I asked calmly, attempting to control the heartache I felt for Bella. "Where are we going?"

His brain seemed to click then and he shifted the car into drive and swung it back to the west before answering me. "Denali," he said simply.

Twenty-four hours later, we sped down an Alaskan state road that led to Denali National Park. The Alaskan landscape seemed cold and bleak compared to its southern neighbor. The alpine tundra expanded endlessly but eventually gave way to the soft roll of tall, green trees and mountain peaks of the Alaskan Range in the distance. Even from several miles off, I could hear the first babble of the Tokositna River and the large, flat tongue of the elk that lapped up its water from the banks.

The food source in Alaska was excellent, providing a wide variety of animals. More idyllic were the carnivorous beasts: several different kinds of bears, wolves, foxes, lynx and coyote. All were abundant in the Alaska wild. My mouth watered at the thought of the savory meals to be had.

Jasper unexpectedly pulled to the side of the road, the wheels skidding slightly on the gravel shoulder. He stared at the dusty road ahead and did not speak.

"Jasper?" I asked timidly. His future was fuzzy, flicked quickly between possibilities. "Jazz, what's wrong?"

He continued to stare straight in front of him, his gaze steady and careful not to glance my way. "I … think…" he paused "I think… I just need to be away from people right now. Clear my head."

I frowned. "Alright, where do you want to go?"

His dark eyes remain unmoving. "I think I just need to be… alone."

I crossed my arms. "No way in hell am I allowing you to go off alone and torment yourself about what happened. That is not happening and you know it."

Jasper rubbed his forehead. His eyes briefly flickered across the dense population of pine trees that lined the road. His anguish and self-loathing was growing, swelling and filling the vehicle. My chest felt compressed as if I couldn't breathe. "I don't think I can be around the girls right now."

"They won't say anything, Jazz."

Jasper shook his head. "No, it's just too much right now. I'll drop you off at their lane. I promise I won't be gone long."

"Stop it! Stop it with the guilt, Jasper!" I finally yelled. The emotion was consuming my mind, weighing heavy on my conscience. My own feelings had been suppressed, but I could sense a slow, hidden burning deep in my heart.

Jasper jumped, his concentration broken. My own emotions came flooding back. I gasped at the weight of the anger I was carrying.

Jasper's head bowed into his hands. "I'm sorry," he said softly. His empathy was fully under control.

I tried to bring myself back to a more neutral place. I slowly took in the icy air, filling my lungs with its rich aroma. I closed my eyes and slide down in the passenger seat. "Thank you," I breathed with relief.

A soft scoff. "For what?" His forehead rest against his palm. "I have been causing everyone around me anxiety and pain these past few days." Jasper shifted to gaze deep into my eyes. "I've caused you that pain, Alice."

"Jasper," I said softly, kissing his lips. "You worry too much about things that are outside of your control. You couldn't control what happened that night. You have to live with the hand that is dealt you in this life. It may not have been what you had wished for, but short of having someone rip you apart and burn the pieces, there is nothing you can do about it."

His eyebrow lifted at the harshness of my words. I bit my lip. Perhaps that had been too forward. His hand trailed up my arm and gently caught my hand. He guided it to his lips and kissed it tenderly. "Alice," he murmured, his golden eyes piercing mine, "You may be able to feel my emotions as I do, but you can never image the reasons why." He paused, his thumb tracing patterns onto my palm. "I accept what I am. I did that a long time ago. The self-control is harder, but it is something I can work on, and hopefully, change. But disappointing you, Alice… not being worthy of you… that is what destroys me."

His words were passionate and desperate, lingering almost tangibly on the cold Alaskan air.

I found my mouth felt unusually dry and my chest strangely hollow. "Oh no, Jasper, no…" I reached for him, but he slid away.

"I know what you would say. But you deserve so much better than me. You deserve –"

I glared at my husband. "Don't you dare tell me what I deserve! Don't, Jasper!" My head began to pound. "Don't! Just please, please stop this." I gripped my head in my hands, my skull now throbbing. "Please," I whispered, "Please, Jazz."

Two strong arms encircled me, cradling me. Jasper rested his chin atop my head and a wave of peace covered me. The ache in my head began to desist and I sighed, resting my face in the crook of Jasper's neck.

He smoothed my wild hair and gently traced his fingers down my back. "I cannot live with you, Alice," he finally murmured. "My life does not make sense in your absence – it never has." His cool lips pressed against my temple. "I would follow you anywhere."

"Anywhere?" I whispered, kissing his exposed throat.

"I've been following after you ever since we met." His arms pulled me tight to him. "I would follow you into the dark."

We arrived at our house in the Denali Forest less than an hour later. The house was as large as a ski lodge and constructed in a similar fashion. The base of the house was stone with a large wooden wrap-porch. Log cabin style architecture had been used on the outside of the house. Most of the wooden shingles on the roof were now covered with a soft green moss. A large stone chimney rose from the middle of the roof. Two solid oak doors severed as the main entrance. Intricate patterns of flowers, leaves, and nuts had been carved into the porch railing and doors. I traced an acorn with my fingertip. Esme had such a wonderful sense of elegance in her designs.

The door was unlocked and Jasper gently pushed the door open for me. The house smelled heavily of dust. Jasper opened the living room windows to air out the room. Soon the smell of pine and rich earth filled the house.

I stared out of the west window. The Denali sisters live only 50 miles west of Esme's lodge. A small part of me desperately wanted to see Tanya, Kate, and Irina, but I could never leave Jasper.

I felt his cool hands slip around my waist and pull me close to him. My head feel back against his broad chest. His lips kissed the crown of my head. I sighed, happy to be in his embrace.

His arms pulled me closer. "Thank you," he whispered, "thank you for understanding, Alice."

I gave a small nod. Jasper was my whole world. I would have done anything for him.

Author's Note: PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE! My life has been pretty crazy recently and I sincerely apologize to you guys! I know this isn't an especially good or long chapter, but I am prepared to spend this whole weekend trying to catch up on some chapters that I've been writing bits and pieces of. So please review and let me know what you feel!