AN: an update! finally! i was supposed to do update this story monthly, but life and school got in the way and i ended up taking much longer to write this than i should have. i've been feeling iffy about this chapter, ngl. i've been struggling to write lately, and i'm not sure if i'm entirely pleased with how this chapter turned out to be. i might rewrite some parts of it in the future, but as of now, i feel like it's a good time to finally update this story. i've decided to split up their high school life according to their years, unlike the other parts of their lives. their second year might be split into even more parts because that's when the rest of aqours comes into play.

hope you enjoy.

ciao. c:

It was New Year's during their first-year of high school when You realized she loved Chika.

You had been spending the night over at Chika's home again, her own mother spending the day working and her father was off at sea. You didn't mind, however—she had gotten used to them being gone during the holidays. The Takami family was more than happy to have her join in their festivities. One of Chika's sisters, Shima, said sometime during the evening that Chika and You acted too much like an old married couple, and jokingly asked when the wedding date was going to be. Chika laughed it off, answering that it was going to be sometime in the springtime underneath all the falling cherry blossoms. You, on the other hand, stayed mute and felt her face burn when she imagined herself holding Chika's hand in hers, the glistening diamond of their wedding ring sparkling in the setting sun.

"Yoooooou-chaaaaaaan," Chika drawled out, pulling You out of her thoughts. Chika made her way to You via crawling. "It's almost a neeeeew yeeeeaaar…."

You couldn't help her grin as she set aside her cup of amazake. "It is," You commented. She could feel Chika clumsily wrapping her arms around her waist, and orange hair tickled her nose as Chika rested her head on her shoulder. You caught the smell of alcohol mingling with the familiar scent of mikan. She barely stifled a laugh—she couldn't believe how weak Chika's alcohol tolerance was. The amazake they were drinking had almost no alcohol in it, yet she still managed to get drunk. Something in the back of You's mind told her to keep a close watch on her friend if they ever decided to go drinking when they were older.

"Hey, You-chaaaan?"

"Mm?" You hummed as she rubbed Chika's back, a gesture that comforted the both of them. "What is it?"

"Have you ever liked someone befooooooooore?"

You gave an uneasy smile. Despite knowing each other for years now, the topic of romance surprisingly never came up between them, but You knew that it was only a matter of time until they treaded into that territory. She never would have guessed she would have it with a drunk Chika, though.

"Mm, I don't think I have," You said, continuing her ministration on Chika's back. "Have you?"

Chika hiccupped. "I feel like it is, but I'm not too sure…."

You should have felt happy when Chika said that. She should have excitement and an urge to prod Chika for more information. That would have been the normal reaction. But instead, You felt something else. She felt fear and an overwhelming amount of sadness crash into her like a wave. Those feelings told her not to push it further, but You didn't listen—it would be suspicious of her not to.

You plastered on a smile as she stopped rubbing Chika's back. "What makes you say that?" She asked gently.

"Mm, I don't knoooooooooooooooow. Maybe it's because I haven't actually liked someone befoooooooooooore."

"Well," You paused to swallow down the lump in her throat, "what do you feel when you're around this person?"

"Gooooood queeeestion," Chika sang. You could hear the grin in her voice. "It's like…I feel suuuuper at eaaaase and I just want to be around them all the tiiiiiiiiime. And it's like I don't need to put up a baaaaaaarrier or aaaaanything, you knooooow? "

You's smile faltered. It was funny—that was exactly how she felt whenever she was with Chika.

"Heeeeey, Yoooou-chaaaaan?"

"Mm?"

"Have you ever kiiiiissed anyone?"

You felt her face flush. "Wha-what's with you—"

"Haaaaave yoooooou?"

"…No, I haven't. I mean, I never liked anyone before, let alone date someone, so…."

Chika shifted as she hummed. "But you don't haaaaave to be dating someone to kiss them, you knooooow?"

"Well," You paused, digesting Chika's words. "You're not wrong…."

"I'm not wrong because I'm right!" Chika fell into a fit of drunken giggles, the sound light and sporadic like You's pulse.

"Have you?" You asked, instantly regretting it the moment she heard the words come out of her mouth.

"No…."

You gave a sigh of relief, but quickly became confused. What was she being relieved about?

"But, you know," Chika paused to push herself up to look You dead in the eye, "I've always wanted to try it."

The way Chika said it made You's heart jump all the way to her throat. You swallowed, struggling to find the right words to say. "Well—um—I—"

"Want to do it, You-chan?" Chika suddenly cut in.

You stopped and blinked. The first thing You wanted to say was yes. But she shut down her desires and forced on another smile. "Shouldn't you wait and share that with someone special to you, Chika-chan?"

The gentlest of smiles crawled onto Chika's face, and You felt her heart melt like snow on a sunny day. "You are special to me, You-chan."

You's smile turned somber. "You know what I mean, Chika-chan."

"I know," Chika paused as she was hit with another fit of giggles, "but I think I would still rather share it with you. They always say that the first kiss something special shared with someone special. I can't think of a better person to share it with."

You swore that if this kept up any further, she was going to fall into cardiac arrest from how hard and fast her heart was pounding. "I mean, if that's what you really want, then…."

But Chika stayed where she was, not moving a centimeter. "You wouldn't…hate me if I did, would you?"

"Of course not," You said with a breathy laugh. "I love you too much to hate you."

"So…you wouldn't mind?"

"Did I move?"

Chika huffed out a breath of amusement before coming closer. What little light-heartedness was in the air quickly turned to stone and dropped as Chika approached, taking with her the scent of mikan being smothered with alcohol. You's temperature rose as Chika brushed their noses together, eyes half-closed. You could feel her heartbeat in every part of her body, its pace picking up as Chika grazed their lips. That sensation of Chika's soft lips snapped something inside of You, and she quickly closed the distance between them without warning. Her sudden audacity caught the both of them off-guard, but their surprise was fleeting as You felt Chika melt into the kiss.

You couldn't believe what was happening. She was kissing Chika. She was kissing Chika and by God did she enjoy it. Chika's lips were so soft, her scent so intoxicating, her warmth so scalding. You could feel her head growing lighter and lighter, her thoughts flatlining.

However, Chika suddenly pulled back. You's shut eyes shot open, only to see Chika lean over once more, but this time to rest her head on her shoulder. The sound of light snoring filled the air. You was baffled. How in the world could Chika just sleep after that?

But, then again, she was drunk. Inebriated people tended to do things they wouldn't normally do. So, naturally, the kiss was just one of them, because why in the world would Chika would want to kiss her out of all people? You sighed. It felt like fate was playing a cruel joke on her—allowing her to kiss the girl she loved under these circumstances. She wondered if—

You blinked.

Did…did she just think of Chika as the girl she loved?

The realization slowly dawned on You, like a ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds. The thought ran around in her mind, over and over again. It was completely absurd but…it made sense. Why else would she be so in awe of Chika? Why else would she be so taken aback by Chika's beauty? And why else would she be so uncomfortable with the thought of Chika liking someone?

You took a deep breath, taking in that comforting scent of mikan, before holding Chika close to her body. It hurt, You realized, having the one she loved so close, yet so far away.

It hurt.

-X-

Before You knew it, two weeks whizzed past them. Chika didn't seem to remember the kiss—or, if she did, she was doing a very good job at hiding it. You expected it, of course. Chika was drunk—drunk people ever hardly remembered anything. A part of You thought that if Chika didn't remember it, then somehow through some miracle, she would forget about it as well.

But she did remember. She remembered every single moment, and her thoughts often drifted to that night if she didn't force herself to focus enough. She remembered Chika's scent, Chika's warmth, and Chika's lips—

"You okay, You?"

You blinked and looked up, and saw Kanan's concerned face. It took a moment for You to gather herself, and when she did, she put on a smile and nodded.

"Yeah," she said a bit too exuberantly, "I'm fine."

Kanan didn't buy it. "Are you sure? You've been…a little off, lately."

You twirled her pencil in between her pencils, bouncing her knee underneath table. They were supposed to be doing their homework together, as all athletes needed to have a certain amount of hours of tutorial by the end of the month, but now You was finding it very hard to focus on her work. She could never focus whenever Chika came across her thoughts.

"Positive," You said, her smile faltering ever so slightly. "I'm sure."

Kanan's frown deepened just a bit. "Are you sure? Did something happen between you and Chika?"

You felt her heart freeze. The sudden urge to spill everything to Kanan right then and there was strong, but You fought against it. What would she even tell Kanan anyways? That she kissed Chika? How would Kanan even react to that? You knew Kanan well enough that she wasn't going to look down on her, but still….

"You?"

You decided to go with half of the truth. "Well…it's just that a friend of mine did something to me, and it seems that they don't remember what they did."

Kanan stared at her, nodding slowly as she seemingly processed the information. "And I'm assuming you want to talk about it?"

You's breath caught in her throat. DId she want to talk about it with Chika? Surely, anyone else would have been counting their blessings if they were in her position. Because they would continue to act as if nothing ever happened, and their friendship would stay the same. A simple, normal relationship.

But she didn't a simple, normal relationship, You realized as a sinking feeling filled her chest. She wanted Chika to remember. She wanted Chika to understand the feelings she would never have the guts to say aloud. And, if any god would allow it, she wanted the slimmest chance of becoming something more with Chika available to her.

It was that realization that made You realize how deeply in love she was with Chika.

You flinched when she felt Kanan's thumb on her cheek.

"It must be affecting you a lot if you're crying about it," Kanan mumbled, her voice soft and gentle like a mother's. You blinked rapidly and brought up a hand to touch her cheek. She felt tears streaming down her face, and quickly wiped away with the back of her hand.

"Y-yeah," You muttered, trying to ignore her cracking voice, "I guess it has…."

"Nothing good will come out of it if you keep it hidden," Kanan added much more quietly. Her eyes, a vibrant shade of purple, suddenly dulled. You recognized it as a face of regret, as if Kanan was giving advice that she should have followed herself.

"So," You began slowly, pausing to sniffle, "I should talk to my friend about it?"

Kanan nodded.

"But how will I bring it up?"

Kanan pursed her lips, looking off to the side for a bit as she thought before looking back at You. "Just do it. Beating around the bush never helps anyone. Besides"—Kanan smiled playfully—"you're not someone that does that sort of thing, anyways. What's that thing you say? Full steam ahead?"

You let out a breath of amusement as she smiled genuinely for the first time that day.

"Yeah," she mumbled, "full steam ahead."

-X-

Walking alone with Chika was something You would ever describe as intimidating—until now.

They were taking their usual route to Chika's house, a routine the both of them did together on almost a daily basis. The both of them would normally take this time to let out everything that was on their chest, which often consisted of rants and complaints of an upcoming test or, in You's case, a competition. Their topics varied from light-hearted talks to dark confessions, but there was always an atmosphere of ease surrounding them—until now.

You uneasily cleared her throat to grab Chika's attention. "Chika-chan?"

"Mm, what is it, You-chan?"

"Can…can I ask you something?"

Chika slowed down her stride as she turned to look at You. "Sure."

"Do—uh—do you remember when we spent New Year's together?"

"Of course I do!" Chika grinned. "We had a lot of fun! Why?"

Cold sweat began to collect on the back of You's neck. "Do—do you remember what we did? On New Year's?"

"Well, you spent the night with us. And we were together for most of the time. I don't remember exactly what happened, though."

You could feel her heart sink, the familiar feeling of disappointment weighing down on her. So Chika didn't remember the kiss after all. "I—I see."

"Did something bother you?"

"U-uh"—You cleared her throat—"what do you mean?"

A knowing smile crossed Chika's face. "You only get like this when something bothers you."

Despite herself, You let out an amused sigh escape her lips—she should have known Chika would have picked up on her strange behavior sooner or later. "Well," she began, "something like that."

Chika hummed thoughtfully for a bit. "Mm, is it because of the marriage joke Shima-nee said?"

"No, no. It's something else."

"Something else?"

You stopped and so did Chika, who looked at You with a mildly confused expression. You could feel her words threatening to fail her, but she forced them out.

"We kissed," she declared, her voice much clearer and much louder than she expected. Chika's eyes grew wide with surprise. You didn't know she was holding her breath until her lungs began to scream for air, but even then, she didn't dare to breathe. Something was preventing her from doing so. Perhaps it was fear, You thought to herself.

A fear that this might be the end of the longest friendship You ever had with anyone.

Suddenly, Chika broke into a grin, one that was a mix of understanding and amusement. "Well," she began, "I knew that."

You finally sucked in a breath. "What?" She breathed out, bewildered.

"I know that we kissed."

"Y-you know? You know?"

"Of course I do. I asked, after all."

"B-but you were drunk!"

"Just because I was drunk doesn't mean I can't remember anything."

"But you just said you don't remember exactly what happened."

"But I remember the important things," Chika said with a laugh. She smiled as if this were another casual topic between them. Perhaps this was just another casual topic, a part of You said.

But most of You knew that was a lie.

"So…why didn't you say anything about it? At all?" An edge was beginning to sharpen You's tone. It sounded hurt, betrayed, perhaps even a little anguished.

Chika's smile broke, light surprise taking its place. "Because you said you wouldn't hate me if I did it. So I didn't bring it up."

You blinked, slowly processing Chika's words. "I…guess you have a point," she finally said, the edge in her voice dulling.

"Did it bother you?"

"What did?"

"The kiss."

"No," You said as she shook her head. "Not at all."

Chika's eyebrows furrowed and her lower lip jutted out, an expression she wore whenever she knew that someone was lying straight to her face. "Liar."

A sheepish smile crawled onto You's face; hiding things from Chika was impossible. "Well, kind of…."

"You should have said something sooner." Chika's frown deepened. You didn't like it. A smile always suited Chika's face better.

"I didn't know how to bring it up," You said, looking off to the side. "You didn't say anything, so I thought you might have forgotten about it. Or wanted to forget about it. So I didn't say anything."

An understanding smile crossed Chika's face again. "I would never forget something like that, you know."

You let out a breath of amusement. "Well, now I know."

"I guess we need to be more honest with one another, then." Chika said with a laugh.

You gave one of her own. "Looks like it."

"I guess I can start with asking you why the kiss bothered you."

You raised her hand to rub the side of her neck. "Well, it wasn't the act of kissing you that bothered me. It was just…." You felt emotion bubbling in her throat, stopping her words.

"Just…?"

You couldn't find it in herself to answer right away. "I just wondered if our relationship changed because of it."

Chika blinked. "Why would it?"

"I dunno," You said with a one-shoulder shrug.

Chika laughed and shook her head, taking a step closer. You could feel Chika's body warmth, and her own temperature began to rise rapidly.

"Nothing is ever going to change us, okay?" Chika said, her voice so tender and so loving. Something bubbled in You's chest, aching her heart as it rose up and began to tickle the back of her eyes. She blinked rapidly, forcing the tears back before she looked at Chika. She wore a smile that matched her voice.

"Y-yeah," You managed to say. "Nothing's going to change."

Chika cupped You's cheek, her warm hand giving You something to find solace in. She leaned into Chika's touch and closed her eyes. She felt as if she was melting; her body relaxed, and her heart's weight wavered ever so slightly. You took a deep breath.

She wished she could stay like this forever.

"You're my best friend," You heard Chika say. "And I really love you, You."

You felt her heart lurch as she opened her eyes just a bit. Chika was looking at her with all the fondness in the universe, her beautiful red eyes glittering in the setting sun. They looked like rubies, You noticed. The thought made her smile.

"I love you, Chika," You found herself saying, her voice much quieter than she expected. "And nothing's going to change that, either."

But even as she said those words, You knew what she really wanted. She knew she wanted something to change between them. She knew she wanted something more to come out of this conversation. She knew she wanted to replace Chika's growing smile with her own lips. She knew she had to be more honest with Chika. She knew she had to be more honest with herself.

But that would be changing what they had right now. And You didn't want that.

All You wanted was Chika to be by her side, even if it left the bitterest of tastes underneath the sweetness.