A/N: Long chapter to make up for a long time not updating. Let me know what you think.

The first trimester was not going well for Mellie Grant. Different from her previous two children, this one seemed to make her feel sick from the moment she rolled out of bed to the moment her head hit the pillow at night. She was nauseous and fatigued and her head throbbed and ached throughout the day. She was constantly vomiting and seemed to not be gaining weight but rather losing it.

It was the morning of her third appointment, and Mellie was worried about asking her doctor about it. No matter how much she had convinced herself that this baby was just her political duty, her greatest fear was that she would lose it. At 10 weeks pregnant now, she had grown slightly more comfortable with the idea of having a child. Fitz on the other hand, Mellie decided, had completely forgotten about the fact that she was pregnant altogether. He had been supportive at first but his efforts were beginning to decrease and he still hadn't made it to a single appointment.

As Mellie finally convinced herself to sit up in bed, it crossed her mind that Fitz pulling away could quite possibly be her own fault. Feeling ill all day, every day had not exactly been putting her in the brightest of moods and she could feel him trying to avoid her. He would get up before her and come to bed after her and sometimes she would go without seeing him all day. She hated to admit it, but Mellie felt alone. She was tired, she felt deserted, and she was scared.

Finally, after about thirty minutes of deep breathing and trying to get her nausea under control, Mellie pulled herself out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom. After a short shower (which was all she could handle), she made her way to the closet and examined her wardrobe. She hadn't had to alter any of her suits yet, but none of them were appealing in her current condition. None of them were comfortable.

I'm the first lady of the United States, she reminded herself, I don't get to be comfortable. She let her towel drop to the floor without bothering to pick it up and she slipped on the most stretchy, laciest underwear she could find. At the very least, her undergarments would be comfy. She sorted through the outfits she had hanging for the week and frowned. In one section, she had a red dress with a matching red and blue blazer; in the next section she had a cream silk shirt and a powder blue skirt…stiff, stiff, stiff… Mellie kept going down the line, her eyes grazing over each option with minimal interest. She sighed outwardly as she felt the nausea coming on again. She leaned her head against the mirror and tried to breath through her queasiness.

That's when something in the mirror caught her attention. Her stomach. There was a visible baby bump, quite visible actually. She hadn't noticed it before. Thinking back, she couldn't even remember the last time she looked at herself without clothing on in the mirror. She moved her hand over the swell and smiled. Momentarily, a fleeting thought passed her mind that this overwhelming sickness might actually be worth it in the end.

"Mellie!" I voice calling her name from the bedroom pulled her from her thoughts. She had no time to react and within seconds, Fitzgerald was in the closet with her. Staring at her. Eyes wide, mouth open.

"In here," Mellie stated with a sarcastic smile. She rolled her eyes and waited for him to speak with impatience. She raised her eyebrows as he continued to stare.

Silence surrounded the couple.

"Whoa," he finally breathed out. His line of vision was aimed down at her belly.

Mellie pursed her lips self-consciously and crossed one arm over her self, "I know," was all she could think to say.

"I hadn't noticed that before," Fitz said dumbly.

Mellie chuckled, releasing some tension, "Honestly, I didn't either, not until today."

"You look…" he began, still not knowing quite what to say.

"Pregnant?" Mellie replied, feeling progressively more uncomfortable and wary.

"Well yeah, but I was going to say 'good'," Fitz said defensively.

Mellie blushed slightly and pivoted back and few steps and quickly pulled the red outfit down off it's hanger. Slipping it on hastily, she attempted to fill the silence, "So I have an appointment today and you're welcome to come…I think we will be able to hear the heart beat at this one…or something," she moved her damp hair behind her ear and bit down on her lip. She desperately wanted Fitz to come, but saying that out loud would kill her ego and she would die before she admitted to Fitz that she was scared.

Fitz cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his pants pockets, "I…uhh… would, but I'm just really busy today, actually that's what I came over here to tell you. I actually need to take a quick trip to New York for a conference…"

Mellie's face must have visibly fallen because Fitz sauntered over to her.

"I will be back tonight, I just wanted you to know. Maybe we could have dinner together?" He placed his hand hesitantly on her arm and squeezed, "I know we haven't been spending a lot time together since we found out."

Mellie nodded and subconsciously placed her hand over her stomach. Fitz noticed and she quickly withdrew it, "I'll see you tonight, then," she forced herself to say. Her voice was low and gravely and Fitz concluded that she was shutting him out again when in reality she was just trying not to cry.

Later that morning, Mellie found herself alone in the doctor's office, her heart thumping out her chest and waves of nausea hitting her at progressively stronger rates. She sat on her hands to keep them from shaking as her doctor entered the room to examine her.

"Madam First Lady, how are we feeling today?" She asked, her kind smile only slightly easing her nerves.

"Well, not so good, actually," Mellie admitted hesitantly.

"I wondered about that, you look very pale. What has been going on?" The doctor asked, concern etched across her face.

"I know morning sickness is normal, but it's not just the morning for me…I vomit all day and I've really been feeling pretty horrible, actually. It wasn't like that for Jerry or for Karen."

"Morning sickness can be different for every woman and different with every pregnancy as well, so hopefully that eases your mind slightly, but let's go ahead and check your weight and electrolytes. How many times a day do you think you vomit on average, Mellie?"

Mellie took a moment to respond, "Well, I can't keep any food or water down, so at least once in the morning and then well…every time I eat or drink, I suppose…"

The doctor's eyes widened slightly, almost unperceptively, but Mellie caught it and it put her more on edge.

"I wish you would have told me about this sooner," the doctor said carefully, "not being able to hold down food or water can be really dangerous for your baby and you're most likely experiencing severe dehydration because of all the vomiting. Have you been having any headaches?"

Mellie bit her lip, "Every day."

"How has your stress and energy level been?"
"I've been stressed…not sure if it's more than normal though, and I've been exhausted… much more so than normal…"

"Alright. Let's go ahead and do some tests, we'll get you some Phenergan, which treats nausea, and we might actually have to get you hospitalized and hook you up to an IV to get some fluids into you. I would advise that you notify your husband because if my suspicions are correct, it looks like you have something called hyperemesis gravidarum, which is a severe case of chronic vomiting that could actually cause some damage to you and your baby if not treated quickly."

Mellie's voice caught in her throat as she tried to respond, "O-okay, I'll send him a text really quick. He's in New York…so he won't be able to respond, most likely." Mellie's hands shook slightly as she attempted to pull her phone from her bag and type a message to her husband.

TO FITZ: Don't worry too much, but my doctor thinks I need to be hospitalized because I'm dehydrated. Just thought you might want to know. I don't know if I'll be home tonight. –Mellie

Mellie's message was vague on purpose. She didn't want Fitz to worry unnecessarily because if it turned out to be nothing, she would be embarrassed and guilty if he decided to fly back early. She slipped her phone back into her purse and waited for the doctor to begin the tests.

xOHx

Meanwhile, Fitz had just touched down on the private landing strip in New York. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he reached down to check who the text was from. Flanked by his secret service, he made his way to the entrance of the building and barely registered the contents of the message.

"Hold on," he said to one of his men. They all stopped and allowed him to pause and read it fully. "What the hell…" he mumbled. Damn Mellie and her elusiveness. Based on what she had written he had no idea what was going on. He decided to call her and signaled for his security to wait as he did so. He received no answer and he started to feel sweat forming on his brow. He tried again. "Shit," he muttered as he dropped his phone back into his pocket.

"Find out what's going on with my wife, Tom," he told the man to his right. "When you do, inform me immediately, even if you have to interrupt the conference."

"Yes sir," Tom replied and detached from the group as Fitz and the rest of them retreated into the building.

Fitz couldn't focus in the meeting as well as he would have liked to and he kept glancing at the door expecting Tom to appear at any moment. The conference went a full two hours and finally ended. Fitz excused himself from the room first and found Tom standing outside of the door waiting for him.

"What are you doing? I told you to find out what was going on and inform me immediately," Fitz barked, not caring that other diplomats were now exiting and catching the whole conversation.

"I'm sorry, sir. I called and got the information but your wife insisted that you not be disturbed."

"You follow my orders, not hers," he growled, "Now what's going on?"
"Madam First Lady has been hospitalized for a condition called hyperemesis gravidarum. Her doctor informed me that it means chronic vomiting and dehydration and…"

"Alright, I need to get back right now," Fitz interrupted, realizing the severity of the situation.

"Yes, sir," Tom replied.

xOHx

Back at the hospital, Mellie was finally beginning to feel better than she had in weeks. Her nausea was subsiding and the IV hydration was doing its job. It was four o'clock in the afternoon and she was just about to drift off to sleep when Fitz appeared in the doorway.

Mellie looked up at him and tears immediately started to percolate in the corner of her eyes, "Hi," she managed, feeling a huge sense of relief. She didn't like to admit it, but Fitz always made her feel safe and having to go through this without him had drained her.

"Mellie, what the hell," Fitz said through gritted teeth. He was obviously upset.

His reaction immediately changed Mellie's demeanor. "It's not a big deal, Fitzgerald," she said defensively, a wall immediately going up to protect herself. It was a double-edged sword. She so desperately wanted her husband there to support her, but an automatic shield had been built up so long ago that she couldn't help but react to her husband in a hostile manner. It was her way of trying to convince herself that she could do it on her own.

"It's not a big deal? You are in the hospital, Mellie. You are pregnant and you're hooked up to all these IV's and you're saying that's not a big deal? And then you send me this vague text and don't answer when I call. I mean, I had no idea what state I was going to find you in when I got here!"

"Well it obviously wasn't that concerning because you clearly finished your meeting before coming," Mellie said, her voice icy and standoffish.

Fitz scoffed, "Are you kidding me? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Fitz continued anyway, "No. You know, I tried to figure out what was happening, but you told Tom not to bother me. It's like this is some sort of game to you. When are you going to stop trying to guilt-trip me?" He spat.

Mellie sat up straighter in her bed, "I'm not trying to guilt trip you, Fitz," she shouted, tears springing to her eyes, "I have a condition that's been making me feel like shit for weeks, but you wouldn't know that because you haven't batted an eye at me since I told you I was for sure pregnant!"

Fitz opened his mouth to respond but then clamped it shut.

"If I'm not mistaken, you told me that you would try and be there for me. You told me that we were going to work on our partnership but all you've done is pretend like I don't exist. I'm not trying to guilt trip you, Fitz; I'm not even trying to get your attention any more. I told Tom not to bother you because I didn't actually want you to come back early…I mean, maybe I did deep down, but I wanted to show you I can do this on my own. I know I royally fucked up, I know my part, but the real question is do you?"

Fitz was quiet for a moment, just searching Mellie's watery blue eyes. "What do you want me to do, Mellie?"

Mellie sighed, "I just want you to be honest. Don't tell me you'll be there when you wont. I can handle being alone; I have for quite some time. But what I can't handle is getting my hopes up only to be shattered. So just tell me what you truly feel towards me so that we can both move on."

"I can't be there for you, Mellie," Fitz whispered, "Not like I was with Jerry and Karen."

Mellie closed her eyes and let a tear escape. It's what she expected to hear but it didn't make hearing it any easier.

Fitz continued. "I don't love you…I love someone else. I know I told you I would try… and I still do want to work on our partnership…but I just think I've been struggling with how to do that without being intimate at the same time. I'm so used to experiencing you being pregnant and being in love with you at the same time…it's just so different now." Fitz struggled with his words and they all seemed to be coming out so dreadfully wrong.

Mellie frowned, "I obviously wish that wasn't the case…" she began, tears escaped from her eyes steadily, "I still love you," she choked, "but I get where your feelings are and why you feel loyalty to…her."

Fitz sat on the edge of his wife's hospital bed and took her hand, "I'm sorry, I really am…"