Prompt: 011. Odds and Ends

"Did ya remember the sugar?"

"Yes, sir."

"An' the butter?"

"Of course, sir."

"An' the coffee?"

A slight twitch. "I wouldn't forget it, sir."

Shinji sat, cross-legged and suspicious, in front of a small banquet. As he looked over his feast, which he would probably break down and let Aizen partake in, he concluded that the other man hadn't forgotten anything. Not that he ever did. Sometimes, Shinji thought it might be worth going without a bit of cream in his drink to rub it in the other man's face that he actually missed out on something. But he never did.

"Every little odd an' end," Shinji muttered, motioning to a spot across from him. "Well, sit down already! Whadda ya waitin' for?"

If he had been a more honest person, Aizen would have told his captain that he was waiting to be excused, so he could enjoy a cup of tea in peace. As it was, he simply smiled graciously at the offer and took a seat.

"Thank you for the meal."

"Whatever, Sousuke."

Prompt: 012. Tea

"What the hell is this?" Shinji sniffed suspiciously at the bitter-smelling liquid inside his cup. Of course, he knew what the actual drink was, but why it was being handed to him was a completely different matter.

"It's tea, sir," Aizen stated, as straight-faced and serious as could be, as if really confirming something Shinji didn't know.

"I know it's tea!" the blonde shouted, eyebrow twitching in annoyance. "Why are ya givin' it to me? That's your type o' thing."

"You should drink more tea, captain," Aizen informed him, dutifully, "it's good for your skin. And your health." He thought for another moment. "And your hair."

"...It really does all that?" Of course Shinji was no stranger to the lightly-tinted beverage, but he preferred something much stronger. Ever since he'd had a cup of coffee during a mission in the real world, he couldn't get enough of the stuff. It had been a while since he'd really considered tea an option, unless he was stuck in a meeting with Yamamoto or visiting some stuffy old guy, which Soul Society had its wealth of.

"It really does," Aizen insisted and watched, gratified, as his captain drank down the cup in one go.

Prompt: 013. Twisted

As usual, Shinji was eyeing his lieutenant suspiciously. Everything this guy did was kind of off in one way or another, so he felt entirely justified to survey him with the utmost caution. It was only more suspect that Aizen never really questioned the looks. Maybe he enjoyed it. He seemed like he was into some weird shit.

"Twisted bastard," Shinji muttered under his breath, turning his attention back to the paperwork at hand.

"Did you say something, sir?" Aizen asked in his ever-polite tone.

"I said you're a freak," Shinji repeated, a bit louder and loads more obnoxiously. "I bet you're int' all sortsa kinky shit in the bedroom, ain't ya? Probably why ya ain't got a girlfriend."

Aizen remained silent, unsure of how to respond to the accusations. His captain had labeled him as many things, usually with some merit behind the insults, but these had hit him way out of left field. Keeping his eyes as far away from the other man as he could, Aizen attempted to focus on his work and not attempt to recreate Shinji's train of thought that led to such statements. Sometimes, he underestimated just how twisted his elder could think.

Prompt: 014. Echo

"The damages resulting from the activity of the Eleventh Division members have, once again, exceeded our available repair funds," Aizen announced.

"Zaraki's a wild dog, 'is men ain't no better, an' they blew up a buncha shit that we're too broke t' fix."

Aizen cleared his throat lightly. "The Fourth Division is recruiting volunteers to assist with the clean-up of the sewer systems. Any and all help is, while unexpected, duly appreciated."

"The twerps are tired of cleanin' up your shit, but they ain't really expectin' ya t' do it 'cause the only scary one in that division is their captain, an' she sure as hell ain't worried 'bout it."

A slight twitch of a bespectacled eye. "And Captain Commander Yamamoto once again reminds us that any and all items brought back from the living world must be submitted for inspection and approval."

"The old man don't want ya bringin' drugs back unless you're sharin', so 'fess up before ya screw us all over."

"...Captain Hirako?"

"S'that all the announcements?" Shinji wondered, peering over his lieutenant's shoulder before looking back to the rest of the group Aizen had been announcing to.

"No," Aizen said, "but what exactly are you doing in a lieutenant's meeting?"

"I heard ya were the spokesperson for these get t'gethers," Shinji informed him, "an' so I thought I'd do everyone a favor an' spice up the information, since you're so damn borin' when ya talk."

"Idiot!" Hiyori shouted from her seat near the back of the table. "No one wants t' hear your big mouth! You're like a stupid echo!"

"I don't remember askin' your opinion on it!" Shinji snapped back, crossing his arms and looking to his lieutenant. "Continue."

After a moment, Aizen folded the papers in his hands and turned his attention to his fellow second-in-commands. "Finally, any involvement by a captain in a lieutenant's meeting is expressly prohibited. Please, respectfully relay this message to your superiors." His head tilted in Shinji's direction just a tad. "Captain Hirako-"

"Ah, shut up!" Shinji huffed, slinking toward the door. "That ain't even on any of the papers..."

"Goodnight, Captain."

Prompt: 015. Soothe

"Hnng, right there! Ah, fuck yeah- shit, Sousuke! Don't stop, now, dammit! Harder!"

A faint color tinged the lieutenant's cheeks as he glanced up to the reclining man. "Sir, do you have to make such noises? It's only a foot massage."

"Eh?" Shinji cracked open an eye to glance down at his kneeling subordinate. "Whadda ya mean? These're my foot massage noises."

"Perhaps so," Aizen conceded lightly, turning his attention back to the other's foot, "but it may sound suspicious to anyone who overheard them."

"Like what?" The blonde snorted. "You've got a dirty mind, kid. Ain't no way I'd shack up with ya, anyway." He sent a glance to the skilled fingers working out every sore muscle in his left foot. "It's just soothin'."

"Is it?" Aizen wondered, a bit amused. "I can only imagine the sounds you make when you're excited." A second later, Shinji's right foot was shoved into his face.

"Don't think about me like that, ya creep!" He really needed to find a better masseuse.