A/N If this is boring it's meant to be. Courses on performance and people management are boring. Trust me I've presented them.
Baxter stood confidently at the flipchart and swished the first page over and wrote at the top with a thick blue marker pen 'WHY IS IT IMPORTANT'. Turning to the sea of frowning faces, he inhaled deeply and began,
"Shout out your answers people, why are good appraisals important?"
There was silence for a few moments before McGee coughed nervously,
"Uhm…because they are mandatory?"
Baxter nodded and wrote the word 'MANDATORY' on the flip chart.
"Thank you Agent McGee, yes that is correct, anyone care to offer any other reasons?"
With the deafening silence rolling on, Baxter eyed the group and stalked his prey ready for the kill,
"Jimmy, what do you think?"
"Well…uh…I guess they are important cos if I do really well I can get promoted".
There was a chorus of faint sniggers around the room. Ducky rolled his eyes at his young protégé and then tapped his shoulder gently,
"All in good time Mr Palmer, all in good time, perhaps we can work on your punctuality first of all before we consider you for the responsibility of handling your own autopsies, and crucially, you might want to finish medical school first mmm?"
Tony eyed Jimmy with sarcastic concern, "Yeah Jimmy, that's kinda critical, I know it's a bummer and all to career advancement by needing to have a medical degree to become a medical examiner, but I do believe they are sticklers for that...it's kinda like being a Marine and not going through bootcamp first or...uhm...being a priest and still seeing your ex-girlfriend for se...OWWW!"
Tony yelped loudly as the notebook collided with his head yet again, "Boss, that is really beginning to smart!" he wailed as he rubbed his head.
All it took was a raised eyebrow and Tony shut up and sank deeper down in his chair and quietly started doodling in his notebook. Jimmy smiled weakly and Baxter wrote up the word 'PROMOTION' on the flipchart and commented that indeed appraisals were important in the promotion process within NCIS. With nothing else forthcoming, he pushed a little further,
"Focus people, if I could re-frame the question for you; why do we have appraisals?"
As he doodled, Tony, without raising his eyes quietly spoke, "To keep all the little tight ass human resources gremlins in a job"
As he looked up, he could feel everyone's eyes burning on him. He glanced quickly at Gibbs and was relieved to see him smirking,
"I mean…that…you would be out of a job Baxter... if we didn't have all this crap to do….right?"
Baxter sucked in his cheeks in defiance, looked smug and placed his hands on his hips, "actually... I'm...freelance" he said slowly and deliberately, eager to make his point.
"Well actually, my name is Tony not Lance and I'm afraid I'm not your type and now is not the time or the place for that kind of proposition" came back the quick stone-faced response, leaving Baxter open mouthed and speechless.
Through the muffled giggles, Baxter closed his eyes and took another deep breath,
"Agent Gibbs, you had some very good points about appraisals earlier on, could you perhaps expand on that for us, particularly focussing on why appraisals are important"
Gibbs stared hard,
"No"
Baxter gulped, "no?"
Gibbs let him squirm for a few seconds more, "I do not….repeat myself"
It was at that point Baxter secretly wished that alien abduction was real, that ET would come and take him now, that very second or that he had taken his mom's advice to go work with Uncle Harry in the boutique.
Abby, broke the silence, "you see Baxman, Gibbs is a kinda…you know…snooze you loose kinda guy, you gotta keep alert with the bossman"
Gibbs smiled sweetly and Baxter took a sip of water as he furiously planned his next move in his head.
"Ok, people, good job and well done to those who contributed, so let's just summarise what we have here"
He then proceeded to waffle for ten minutes paraphrasing from his notes and generally letting his mouth fill the silence and attempt to lighten the atmosphere. He cringed as he finished up,
"Has anyone got any questions or feelings they wanna share right now?"
Tony raised his hand cautiously,
"Do we get free coffee and donuts on this course?"
In the training centre, the resounding slap of a notebook being whacked across a human head and a strangled yelp rang out loudly.
"Probie! Swap seats! Please!"