Tried my best to get into Silas' head as much as possible. I don't think I used a single contraction either.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid. Lord, I am such a fool." Silas muttered softly to himself as he finished securing Ada's stall, the mare shaking her now harness free head before snorting.

"I am thrilled that you agree." The man spoke, sarcasm dripping from his voice as the knight leaned heavily against a wooden beam and sighed.

Silas remained quiet as he stared at the far wall, lost in thought. He just could not stop thinking about the tenderness of her lips on his. They were warm and soft, and in their wake had left an odd tingling feeling that the knight could not help but crave.

A sudden wave of nervousness and cold terror struck the young man's heart as his fingers lightly brushed against his own lips, the odd sensation remaining even after the physical contact. Silas felt his heart quicken in cold fear upon the realization that his Duchess had indeed kissed him, and that it had not been a waking dream.

Thoughts began to whirl around the mind of the knight as a numbness began to set in, and Silas' breathing increased as his worries rose. A terrifying thought had suddenly occurred. He had never kissed her back. Their argument had seemed to be a haze, the pair going through their usual disagreement of opinions, and it had always ended the same way. Anaya had always won. Always. Silas had always backed down from an argument with his Duchess, yielding in order to appease her and allow her calm of mind. Then the pair would continue their activities until the topic came up again-which was becoming more and more frequent. But this time, the ending had shifted. Silas' emotional shell had began to crack, and for the first time since they were children, he had shown the overwhelming strain of grief that had been plaguing his soul.

Almost every time the pair had their disagreements over the Necromancer, Silas had begun to feel like he was failing his dear Duchess. Again, and again the young knight had tried to make Anaya see the failed reasoning behind her decision to aid the odd man. She claimed it was for Creedy, claimed that she was too far into the Necromancer's dealings to back out, but deep down, Silas had known the truth. He always had. Anaya was getting her desire for freedom from a man that lived on the very fringes of society. And he was going to get her killed.

Silas could not help but form his hands into tight fists, his arms shaking slightly in frustration. Why could not she see how hard he tried to make her realize that that man was leading her to her death? Was she truly that daft? That naive? Surely she was not! She knows the consequences of Necromancy! She knows the consequence is death!

Without thinking, Silas swiftly pulled out a green with embroidered gold scarf as he stared at it, his hands roughly creasing the silk. Looking upon it, Silas never felt the urge to just tear the delicate scarf in half so strongly. What was the point in having it if he was too much of a coward to give it to a woman that he dearly cherished? It was just a waste of coin he spent on it. What was the point if that woman was even with another man? She obviously did not harbor the same feelings he had for her. Otherwise she would have waited. Or...maybe she did?

Silas' steel eyes suddenly softened as he released his hold on the gentle fabric. What if she did? What if the reason she refused to get married was because of him? But...was she not with the Necromancer? Did he not take the knight's place as Anaya's companion? She had to be. What was she doing for almost a year in his absence?

Silas froze in thought, horrified. It was not the first time this thought had crossed his mind. The thought of the Necromancer being anywhere near his Duchess terrified the knight to no end. Surely something had to have happened. Any man would be insane to not pursue the Duchess of Bavaria. Yet...the day Silas had returned from Rome...he had never seen her happier. Anaya had ran towards him and jumped upon the man, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him. Again and again she kissed the young man, cold tears streaming down her cheek as she smiled at him, breathless. The woman appeared...more stressed, as if she had been worrying about the knight the whole time during his leave. Ever since Silas had returned not a week ago, Anaya had refused to leave his side. And while Silas may have returned her embrace and dried her tears, not once did he return one of her many kisses upon their bated reunion. Even when her soft lips touched his during the pair's disagreement earlier today, he still did not return the kiss.

It worried the knight. What if the reason she did not allow her hand to be claimed in marriage was not for the Necromancer, but Silas himself? Through all their time together, Anaya had never mentioned the man unless the topic was pushed by Silas himself. Perhaps...she was not romantically involved the man? But if not, why would she keep going to him? But what if she was not? During their time together, Anaya had not once displayed any desire in finding out the Necromancer. She had been too enraptured in her knight, listening to Silas tell of strange lands to which she loved to hear.

Guilt suddenly overwhelmed the young man. If only he had known what she wanted, if only she had told him sooner. Silas would have been more than happy to take his beloved with. It was unfair that he could travel to foreign places while his lady was trapped like a bird in a cage under the supervision of her uncle. And what if she truly had the feelings that Silas himself had for her? If she did, Silas was pushing her away in his foolishness.

Silas dared not look away from the scarf, lost in thought as he battled in his mind. What if she truly did care for him, and he had hurt her with his rejection. She had kissed him, yet he had never truly kissed her back. She had professed her love to him, yet...he had never said those simple words back, he had never said those words that meant so much to her. What if by refusing her unintentionally, he had broken her heart?

Silas could not help but pale as he felt his blood freeze in terror. What if she truly did mean those words-and by something more than friendship? Or...what if that was all she meant? Friendship, companionship. After all, what can a mere knight give to a beautiful woman that a Duke could not? Silas could not offer her fine jewelry, clothing, status, a chance to rule the Kingdom one day. He was simply outclassed by her more noble suitors.

Thinking back to what his lady had said earlier in the day, Silas found his worries leaving some as he remembered her words. Anaya wanted to be free from roles, free from statuses. She would not want to marry a noble. She would be completely trapped in a stone cage. But then...were she to take a lesser man's hand...how would she be free?

Silas felt his heart lurch and sink once more as a thought crossed his mind. Even if he did claim her hand, he would never be able to give her what she would want. Silas simply did not have enough money to allow his Duchess to travel. With another noble, however, she could travel to lands in the Eastern Sea, in the far East were silk comes from.

But if she did truly love him as much as he hoped...would wealth even matter? Surely it would not. Despite his reassuring thoughts, Silas could not help worry if he was fooling himself. If she genuinely meant friendship, and he confessed his love for her romantically he would make himself look like a fool. Or worse, what if he frightened his dear Duchess and ruined their friendship that has lasted since childhood? What if she could never look at him the same way again, could not stand to look in his direction, or even tolerate his presence?

Silas groaned in dismay, leaning his back against the wall as he covered his face, head shaking. He had no idea how to go about this, had no idea what to do, or what to say. Sometimes, Silas just felt like God was making fun of him.

"Oh, Lord, I wish I was better at this..." Silas groaned, pausing to look around the stable as if the answer to his romantical problem would be there. He hated being so inexperienced with women. At least with Anaya.

Sighing, Silas took one last look at the scarf before gently folding it and tucking it away safely. Falling silent, Silas walked toward the entrance of the stables, pausing just before he walked out into the sun to look to where the scarf was hidden. He knew what he needed to do, but the very thought of it terrified the young knight. It was safe to say that Anaya's true emotions frightened him more than any physical challenge that could get him maimed or killed.

Steeling himself, Silas took a deep breath to calm his nerves, but could not stop the underlying fears from leaving his mouth.

"What if I am fooling myself?"

Good? Bad? Boring? Feel free to give your opinions. Thank you. :)