3 Three Frenchmen yelling

Market days are brilliant for collecting tat. A lot of space debris and Rift junk turns up at swap meets and car boot sales ya know. Today Ianto had what looked like a four slice toaster already in his bag and the figurine of a little blue lady was about to join it, he hoped Jack could return her to the Gidderifilions who had been looking for it.

Then he heard the commotion and he sighed.

Leave him alone for five bloody minutes.

Ianto walked around a couple of stalls to find Jack in deep conversation with a man who was not going to give up easily, Jack's French almost as bad as his Welsh … as in … crap. Ianto sighed and joined in, his fluent and flawless delivery stopping everyone dead, then the man lit up. The other two moved silently to flank and Jack's face changed to extreme interest as he watched them all converse with Ianto. They spoke too quickly to be understood and when Ianto blushed Jack suddenly recognised enough words to know when he was being propositioned.

"MINE!"

Ianto blinked as Jack seized his arm and yanked him into his side, holding him possessively as he glared at the men.

"Jack!" Ianto spluttered, "Calm down! It's you they are interested in. They want the coat!"

"Coat? What? MY Coat?" Jack gasped with new horror, his hands flying to his lapels like they were going to snatch it off him, then he looked at Ianto, "Here, you wear it!"

"What?" Ianto was confused as he found himself manhandled into the coat and Jack stood between him and the three men.

"Look, I know you understand me and I am telling you now … you get them over my dead body! Go on, kill me! I will rise up and tear you to bits before you get the most precious thing in the world to me." Jack hissed "Or the coat!"

Ianto thought he would melt into the grass field they were in, the stalls around them all silent as they watched and Ianto knew he was probably beetroot red now as Jack went into hero pose.

"Ianto is mine!"

"Jack!" Ianto said softly "I think they get the idea."

The Frenchmen bowed deeply and then wandered off in animated conversation, Jack swinging to smile at Ianto, "see? You are so desirable I have to beat them off with a stick."

"Actually, they wanted me to translate for them, they were looking for a restaurant" Ianto giggled.

"Don't care" Jack said grandly, "I don't want to lend you out to lick stamps for the Queen herself … well … she might like you doing that. She is a bit naughty ya know."

"Look, I need you to stop referencing her like that, she is my sovereign!" Ianto scolded, letting Jack slide his hands into the coat, pulling them together so the coat seemed to close around them.

"Wanna go see her again?" Jack leered.

"Not with the hard-on you are giving me right now" Ianto hissed, "and the fact I am referencing that in the same conversation as Her Majesty is horrifying enough!"

"I really love you Ianto Jones" Jack sighed softly, reaching up to stroke Ianto's cheek, "come on. How about Chinese instead of their bloody French they wanted. I know you like those little balls."

"Actually, I quite like big ones too" Ianto whispered, his breath on Jack's ear stalling him out, then Ianto stepped back, calmly walking away as Jack watched his own Coat dance about Ianto's heels with the same level of affection as its owner.

"The definition of a turncoat" Jack whispered then laughed as he started to run. "Wait up Tiger!"

Ianto slowed so Jack would catch up and he let Jack's arm hook into his as they wandered to the SUV.

"Chinese" Ianto said happily, "Yum. I do wonder though."

"Yeah?"

"fish and chips? We can eat them in bed then" Ianto offered, "I have to change the sheets tomorrow anyway so that horrible habit you have of wiping your mouth on the sheet will not kill me."

"OOOOOOOOOO" Jack shivered as he turned the key and Ianto settled back to pat the coat lovingly.

It didn't like Chinese ya see.

Smells linger.